Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

[Anonymous]

I am a terrible stay at home mom, so no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

Yes. That is precisely my point. The PP said "Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home." That's an overreaction. Most SAHMs don't do this, and PP was wrong to talk generally about SAHMs as a monolith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

Yes. That is precisely my point. The PP said "Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home." That's an overreaction. Most SAHMs don't do this, and PP was wrong to talk generally about SAHMs as a monolith.

Pretty sure that poster was just talking about the SAHMs who do say that - and there are a lot of them, including on this thread, despite no evidence (and some to the contrary).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

Yes. That is precisely my point. The PP said "Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home." That's an overreaction. Most SAHMs don't do this, and PP was wrong to talk generally about SAHMs as a monolith.

Pretty sure that poster was just talking about the SAHMs who do say that - and there are a lot of them, including on this thread, despite no evidence (and some to the contrary).

She should be better than them if she wants to be taken seriously. That's a minimally low bar to meet. If your standards are based on the SAHMs posting on this thread, those are going to be very low standards indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

Yes. That is precisely my point. The PP said "Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home." That's an overreaction. Most SAHMs don't do this, and PP was wrong to talk generally about SAHMs as a monolith.

Pretty sure that poster was just talking about the SAHMs who do say that - and there are a lot of them, including on this thread, despite no evidence (and some to the contrary).

You really don’t think it’s better for an SN baby, toddler, or preschooler to have a parent or grandparent home with him? I am a WOHM but there’s no question in my mind about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

Yes. That is precisely my point. The PP said "Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home." That's an overreaction. Most SAHMs don't do this, and PP was wrong to talk generally about SAHMs as a monolith.

Pretty sure that poster was just talking about the SAHMs who do say that - and there are a lot of them, including on this thread, despite no evidence (and some to the contrary).

You really don’t think it’s better for an SN baby, toddler, or preschooler to have a parent or grandparent home with him? I am a WOHM but there’s no question in my mind about this.

DP. I don't think you can make that generalization. Quite frankly, there are too many abusive, unstable, alcoholic, addicted, untreated mentally ill, and just plain mean parents out there to be able to generalize like this.

[Anonymous]

Ok, you don’t think it’s better for a young SN child to have a non-abusive parent or grandparent at home with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you don’t think it’s better for a young SN child to have a non-abusive parent or grandparent at home with them?

My mom was non-abusive. She was also an awful SAHM because she didn’t like it. She was a fantastic doctor though, because she loved that. I was raised by nannies/babysitters who were absolutely terrific at their jobs because they loved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you don’t think it’s better for a young SN child to have a non-abusive parent or grandparent at home with them?

My mom was non-abusive. She was also an awful SAHM because she didn’t like it. She was a fantastic doctor though, because she loved that. I was raised by nannies/babysitters who were absolutely terrific at their jobs because they loved it.

Were you SN or NT? I’m talking specifically about SN children who need the extra support and motivation that usually comes from someone who is not paid to watch them. NT children can thrive with nannies (mine did).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am already a SAHM but this has definitely quashed any thoughts I may have had of returning to work any time soon. My kids are early elementary and DH and I have been very thankful I’m not juggling working at home like he is.

Of course your DH is happy. He wants you providing unpaid labor for the family so he can keep his daily life as close to normal as possible during this time. He doesn’t want to watch kids and deal with the daily requirements to keep up a house. That kind of work is for his wife. He tries to only perform work he gets paid for.

You’ve been fooled.

Are you kidding me, SAHM with kids in school is a very cushy life! There is plenty of leisure time mixed in with the “unpaid labor”. I woulda done it if it weren’t kinda brainless

Np. Wow, you are so rude! Who said being SAHM is “brainless.” You sound dumb yourself. I’m actually a WOHM and would love to stay at home if we could afford it. I have a SN kid who would have benefited from me being at home.

SN kid is different, need some skills and expertise for that... but SAH with average NT kids is brainless.

If my kid were SN I’d SAH unless it meant we would literally be on the street.

Well, that would be stupid and short sighted. I work to provide my SN child a trust, therapy, and school that would never be covered by insurance or the state.

I meant during the early years, 0-5 when all of the neural connections are being formed and the one-on-one attention makes the most difference.

And yet, oddly, there is no difference in outcome in longitudinal studies. Also, frankly, common sense will tell you this. I am around a lot of teens and I can't tell you who went to daycare as a toddler. I can tell you who I think has nasty parents, but there is no difference in SAH or WOH in that respect.

You people need to understand that children can be raised successfully in many different ways, not just the one single way that you approve.

Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home. Not only have studies proven that false, but they've also indicated that the opposite may be true, at least when it comes to men who were raised by working mothers.

It's fine to stay home if you want. But don't pretend it's better for your kids.

That's an overreaction. First of all, not all SAHMs (or even most) would ever say or believe that SAHM is universally better for kids. But second of all, if they say it about their own family and not the world at large, maybe they are right? The mistake comes from generalization, but it's perfectly reasonable for a SAHM to believe her staying home is better for her specific kids. I hope she does think that, in fact. Personally I believe SAH or WOH is pretty minor in the list of things that matter to kids (and I have done both), but I don't begrudge a mom who thinks her SAH is really important to her own kids.

In short, don't generalize.

The problem isn't with a SAHM who thinks that staying home is better for HER kids. The problem is with all the ones who say it is better for everyone. Talk about generalizations...

Yes. That is precisely my point. The PP said "Yeah, I don't really understand why SAHMs continue to tout this BS about how it's better for the kids long-term if a parents stays home." That's an overreaction. Most SAHMs don't do this, and PP was wrong to talk generally about SAHMs as a monolith.

PP didn't say ALL SAHMs do this. But a lot on here do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you don’t think it’s better for a young SN child to have a non-abusive parent or grandparent at home with them?

My mom was non-abusive. She was also an awful SAHM because she didn’t like it. She was a fantastic doctor though, because she loved that. I was raised by nannies/babysitters who were absolutely terrific at their jobs because they loved it.

Sounds like she shouldn’t have had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you don’t think it’s better for a young SN child to have a non-abusive parent or grandparent at home with them?

Again, you can't generalize. I don't know why you keep in trying to find specific situations where you can say that universally SAH is better. There are just too many nuances in life and to me it's a little weird that you want to be so reductionist.

I have a friend who was a SAHM with an SN toddler. She was specifically advised that for her child's specific issues, a small good daycare might help her child's issues, so he could observe other kids and interact with them. So she found a good daycare, and went back to work in part to pay for it. I have another friend (WOHM) whose toddler had SNs and she was advised that daycare (even a good one) was detrimental for her kid's specific issues. So she pulled him out and became a SAHM.

By your logic, the first mom was a bad mom but the second was a good one. Yet they both did was they were advised, and years later as teens, both kids are doing very well.

I just don't get the desperation that so many of you seem to have to find a single childcare formula that is the BEST for the entire population of children in the world. Maybe it's because my kids are teens and I have done it all as far as SAH or WOH, and maybe it's because I am around a lot more teens than most people on this thread, but the insistence of a lot of the posters here that there is One True Way just sounds pretty silly to me. SAH or WOH is just so irrelevant in the large scheme of things.

Now emotional instability, meanness (looking at you, several SAHMs and WOHMs on this thread - you can't tell me you don't take that nastiness out on your kids), alcoholism, emotional withdrawal, rage, anger, etc., -- that stuff matters. But that's agnostic of family structure and childcare.

[Anonymous]

I would love to stay home after this but I'm not going to walk away from a job unless I get laid off. I do think more and more families will transition to single-earner, though not necessarily the man. Jobs are evaporating and if schools aren't going to look the same (still an open question) what choice will families have?

I'm saving saving and saving right now.