Would you tell a vegetarian relative that your MIL has been sneaking meat into their food?

[Anonymous]

You have way too time on your hands OP.

[Anonymous]

I would tell because I would never let someone have power over me the way MIL now has power over you. You feel kind of bad about this so she can now wield that if she felt like it.

But I have a big issue with letting ANYONE have any leverage over me.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy. I appreciate your dilemma, but your MIL is a bad person for doing this.

[Anonymous]

do not tell SIL. tell your husband and leave it at that. if it trickles down it was him.

[Anonymous]

You have way too time on your hands OP.

???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Vegetarians are weird. We need meat. I would MYOB.

/fitness trainer, yoga teacher, animal lover, and high school strength and endurance coach.

All of those things still make you stupid when it comes to nutrition and what the body needs. I wouldn't want you to be teaching my child with such wrong information. "We need meat" LOLOLOL. Do you think cigarettes are still healthy too, Grandma?

[Anonymous]

Oh Hell, I would stay far away from all of it.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP you are a shitty person but then again your SIL has a shitty DH if he's been made complicit in this too and doesn't respect his wife and doesn't tell her. Such an ugly family dynamic you are part of there. You'll be back with some drama when something goes down for you and them. You'll deserve it.

[Anonymous]

In a perfect world, you tell her and let the chips fall where they may.

But you have:
1) a dishonest MIL who I'm sure has feelings about SIL pushing all her beliefs on everyone else and this is her passive aggressive way of dealing with it.
2) a SIL who sounds very militant and would go scorched earth if she found out
3) a BIL who is being dishonest about who he genuinely is and what his beliefs and desires for his lifestyle choices

I feel like you've done what you can with the situation you are in. I would work on MIL behind the scenes to stop doing it. Phrase it like "if SIL ever came into the kitchen and saw what I saw or tasted it in the food, you know she would blow everything up. You may never see BIL and would rarely see their kids (or future kids). Is the possibility of never seeing your grandkids worth it?"

[Anonymous]

I would probably just comment at Thanksgiving about how X dish tastes like bacon to SIL.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation...close friend at the time and her mother were sneaking pork into friend’s husband’s meals. He is Muslim. I admonished both the friend and her mother but never told the husband. We are not friends anymore but I still wonder if they are continuing to sneak pork into his meals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would probably just comment at Thanksgiving about how X dish tastes like bacon to SIL.

This. Best way to do it.

[Anonymous]

Say nothing but I like the ass covering email idea.
Just goes to show how ridiculous SIL and her ilk are.
What a show!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I told DH to tell his brother and let his brother tell his wife. DH spoke to his brother and his brother does not want to tell his wife. BIL is afraid that if he tells his wife then his mother will out him for continuing to sneak meat. Whenever BIL goes to his parents house without SIL, he will eat meat. Yes, the guy is having an affair with a roast He will also drink a milk shake with a straw while he is there without her.

Straws are a whole other thing with her. Whenever we are at a restaurant with everyone, SIL will make a point of telling the waiter to NOT bring anyone straws. The first time this happened is started a 10 minute debate between FIL/MIL and SIL. FIL/MIL had never heard that straws are bad. FIL wanted a straw and then demanded a straw. Our kids chimed in asking whether they could have straws. SIL responded before I could and told them no-which was rude. FIL snapped that she had no right to deny him or his grandchildren straws and by god damn it they were having straws. SIL got up and left. BIL had to follow. My DH was in the bathroom for this and missed the whole thing. To be fair to SIL, I think she got up and left because FIL was so loud and angry and less about diving on the straw hill. To be to fair to FIL, SIL was very rude and overly bossy about the straw thing.

SIL is not a vegetarian for religious or health reasons. She is very open that she is a vegetarian for environmental reasons. I don't think MIL would do this if she had allergies. We have an extended relative with GF intolerance and MIL is very good in coming up with GF alternatives. MIL is proud of her GF recipes and has shared them with others for this relative .I'm not saying that I agree with what MIL is doing to SIL but I don't think she is a danger to others who have physical reasons for avoiding certain foods.

MIL just thinks that SIL's reasons are not valid. SIL will not ride in a SUV. If we are all going somewhere together, she will not get into MIL/FIL's big SUV or our smaller SUV. She will insist that she and her husband drive separately in their electric car. To MIL this is stupid because everyone can't fit in their electric car and since we are driving the SUV anyways, how does it help the environment for SIL to be riding separately in an electric car?

I try to be a nice person and have never been annoyed at anyone for having special food requests. Our family does do our part for the environment. We turn lights out, always recycle, I cook more from scratch than buying lots of processed or packaged foods, we compost, we plant trees, and I don't buy straws for home so I am not anti-environmental. `I will fully admit though that my weaknesses are being a coward where interpersonal drama is involved and guilt. So now I am between both. I feel I have done my duty in having DH tell his brother but since his brother will not say anything now I will have to sit through every future family meal knowing that MIL is lying to SIL or dealing with the wrath of both of them.

While it isn't the most popular opinion, I think I will just go with the MYOB posters and not say anything.

OP, thanks for the update, this is hilarious and really sad at the same time. Your SIL is crazy for making a scene like that at the restaurant and arguing with FIL and talking to you kids the way she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar situation...close friend at the time and her mother were sneaking pork into friend’s husband’s meals. He is Muslim. I admonished both the friend and her mother but never told the husband. We are not friends anymore but I still wonder if they are continuing to sneak pork into his meals?

That is really awful. Probably could have just told the husband since the friendship died anyway. Yeesh. What do people get out of doing these things?