Implementing no photo sharing rule for in laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha. Think of, for example, a coworker you are close with. She says "My first grand baby was born yesterday! I'm so proud! No, I can't show you a picture. Why not? I uhhh, well, I'm forbidden from showing people photos of my grandbaby. My DIL is afraid of....I don't know what... well she's a crazy person. "

I don’t think most parents are concerned about grandparents showing someone a photo in person. The concern is usually putting the photo on the internet. My mom is welcome to show my kids’ photos to the checkout person at the grocery store for all I care, but I have asked her not to put photos on social media and she respects that (and when my loopy aunts put pics of my kids on Facebook, my mom is the one who asks them to take it down).

But, but, the checkout person could be a pedophile and get all your personal information from you MIL (or even mother) ! Your rule should be no photos ever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I'll send them a million photos a day. That I don't care about but I don't think my child's photos should be shown to their entire world. That's insane.

How many "friends" does she have on Facebook, ten million?!! Of course not. The truth is that there are not very many people interested in seeing pics of your children or any other child. Your in-laws are sharing with other grandparents who are bragging about their grandchildren!

This is not a hill to die on or even a hill to need a bandaid for! You are just being a controlling bitch. Sorry, but there is no other way to describe your behavior.

This is what blows my mind also. Why on earth do you think people are so interested in pics of your kid? Spoiler: they're not.

Then. Stop. Bothering. Parents. About. Wanting. To. Post. Pics. Of. Their. Kids.

I'm not bothering anyone about it, I just think you're all paranoid and ridiculous. NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING WITH PICS OF YOUR KID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha. Think of, for example, a coworker you are close with. She says "My first grand baby was born yesterday! I'm so proud! No, I can't show you a picture. Why not? I uhhh, well, I'm forbidden from showing people photos of my grandbaby. My DIL is afraid of....I don't know what... well she's a crazy person. "

I don’t think most parents are concerned about grandparents showing someone a photo in person. The concern is usually putting the photo on the internet. My mom is welcome to show my kids’ photos to the checkout person at the grocery store for all I care, but I have asked her not to put photos on social media and she respects that (and when my loopy aunts put pics of my kids on Facebook, my mom is the one who asks them to take it down).

But, but, the checkout person could be a pedophile and get all your personal information from you MIL (or even mother) ! Your rule should be no photos ever!

Stop pretending you don't understand that showing a photo to someone in person is completely different that putting it out there on social media to live on the interwebs forever.

And yes there are pedophiles scraping social media for rubes who have no privacy settings, to gather photos they can include in their special databases, I have professional experience dealing with these folks.

They are much less common than your old high school friends who want to jack it to the photos the moms are posting of their barely dressed teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do not have children yet, correct? And what ages are your ILs?

If you truly do not want your kid’s picture showing up on social media via your ILs, don’t send a picture. You can ask ILs not to share your kid’s picture via text or social media, but the only way you can be absolutely SURE it won’t happen is to not send the pic in the first place.

It is 100% the right of you & your DH to work to keep your kid’s pictures off social media. Just be advised that, once your kid starts K, you’ll be bailing the Titanic with a bucket - regardless of what your ILs do or don’t do.

Signed,
Mom of 4

+1 And recognize that if they take their own photos then they will do with them what they will because it is their picture. You're way over-thinking this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Its perfectly reasonable to request that a relative not post pictures of your kid. If they refuse and do it anyway then you don't send anymore pictures. If they visit and take their own pictures and post them then they don't get to visit.

My kids asked that we not post pictures of them and so we don't. We have one relative who does not respect this. Guess what - this relative does not get invited over anymore. My kids avoid them at family functions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be that daughter in law. Selfish.

We don’t post pictures of our kids on Facebook and have asked mil not to do it either. When she does, just because she’s a pain sometimes and very narcissistic, she gets the we won’t send you pictures anymore talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be that daughter in law. Selfish.

We don’t post pictures of our kids on Facebook and have asked mil not to do it either. When she does, just because she’s a pain sometimes and very narcissistic, she gets the we won’t send you pictures anymore talk.

Actually you sound crazy but whatever.

[Anonymous]

Wait, wait...

The OP doesn't even have kids yet??
She felt the need to start this 13 page debate about whether or not she'll allow her in laws to post pics to Facebook *WHEN* she has kids??

This is so dramatic... find a hobby, OP.

Has she even come back to update??

[Anonymous]

My son's school district is constantly posting pictures of the kids on its Facebook page. I haven't heard anyone complaining. This for preschool through 12th grade.

You smother mothers have way more to worry about than grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are private. We don't want our child plastered over anyone's social media.

Then don't send any photo's because once you give them away you can't tell people what to do with them.

I would share photo's you don't mind being on social media. However when the grandparents visit are you going to restrict them taking photo's with their grandchild? How would this even happen a complete photo ban.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wait, wait...

The OP doesn't even have kids yet??
She felt the need to start this 13 page debate about whether or not she'll allow her in laws to post pics to Facebook *WHEN* she has kids??

This is so dramatic... find a hobby, OP.

Has she even come back to update??

Others carried on for 13 pages. Not OP.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t post pics of my daughter and my friend had an issue with it—insinuating that I’m not proud of her. When did posts on social media become a metric gold standard of being proud? Post if you want. But respect if you fint

[Anonymous]

You people who keep calling the no-picture posters “crazy” are the self-absorbed and disrespectful ones. The no-pictures people have legitimate concerns. People should be supported in parenting how they see fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are private. We don't want our child plastered over anyone's social media.

Then don't send any photo's because once you give them away you can't tell people what to do with them.

I would share photo's you don't mind being on social media. However when the grandparents visit are you going to restrict them taking photo's with their grandchild? How would this even happen a complete photo ban.

Hon, you don’t need those apostrophes. It’s plural. Not possessive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Wait, wait...

The OP doesn't even have kids yet??
She felt the need to start this 13 page debate about whether or not she'll allow her in laws to post pics to Facebook *WHEN* she has kids??

This is so dramatic... find a hobby, OP.

Has she even come back to update??

Others carried on for 13 pages. Not OP.

Yup. Crazy old grannies with no boundaries.