I am so sick of boy-mom sh*T

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has four boys and she’ll #boymom on occasion. It’s meant to be lighthearted, and those boys have excellent manners.
She is absolutely desperate for a girl. They are considering IVF for gender selection. I suspect most of the #boymoms are deeply longing for girls, so we should be kind.

I don't know one #boymom that wished for a girl.. especially once middle school hits.

It's like missing a bullet.

Yep. They are all a little sad about not getting a girl. It’s not a mystery. Also, I’m not sure what world you guys a living in where middle school boys are a breeze. Silly stuff.

I have all boys and have never used the phrase BOYMOM in my life prior to this post, but the fact that you and other posters have apparently decided that moms of boys must be sad about not having girls makes me want to cheer on the people who use it. Honestly the only time I ever think about having all boys is when some all girl mom asks me in a fake tone of sympathy whether I am going "try for a girl." It's so obnoxious.

DP, but if you don't self-identify as a #boymom, then this thread isn't directed at you, whether you have all boys or not. Plenty of moms of only boys love having boys, don't call themselves boymoms, and are reasonable. But seriously, have you not heard of people asking moms of all girls whether they're going to "try for a boy?" It goes both ways.

Why women who don't have daughters think they're qualified to opine on how different it is than raising sons is beyond me. But I'm sick of the laziness at best and misogyny at worst that #boymom represents.

I'm PP and in my friend group, the difference in how moms of all girls are treated with respect to having a boy is different enough from what happens to the all boy moms that we've talked about it. All (and I mean every single boy mom) has has multiple encounters like I have, the syrupy-sweet fake pity for not having girls from girl moms. It happens the other way, but rarely.

This is born out in surveys, by the way. Americans prefer baby girls in general. Sex selection is done more often for girls. It is a thing, and you pretending it doesn't happen is obnoxious.

I will also say that I had never thought much about BOYMOM before this thread but the reaction of you and other posters like you makes me want to cheer them on.

[Anonymous]

I think that one of the key points that makes #boymom a thing and not #girlmom is the fact that mothers of boys are raising opposite gender children. Mothers of only boys do not have any experience raising a girl, but they do know what it's like to be a girl. I suspect the #boymom thing grew partly out of this notion that there is something a bit mysterious to a woman about raising a boy. The most obvious example is the exasperation about boys who can't seem to pee directly and neatly into the toilet. Why?!?

Of course, this is all pure speculation. I am a mother of only boys, but I've never been tempted to use the term #boymom. But I think I understand how the term may have originated. I also acknowledge that it sometimes reinforces gender stereotypes in an unfortunate way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, growing up in the good ol' days, when some neighborhood families had a mix of boys and girls, some had only boys, some had only girls, and some had only children. And everyone played and got along and hung out, or not, and there was no need for group therapy or Causes over what kind of family you had.

+ 1

But that was true then because most of our parents were not hyper focused on us. This did not mean they did not love their kids but that they were not hyper focused as parents are today. I went outside to play and returned home HOURS later. My mom just knew I was outside with the neighborhood kids. Instead most kids today are involved in organized activities that dictate that we parents be more involved. The style of parenting is just different now than then so of course it penetrates to every level of parenting and we end up with boy vs. girl-mom wars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, growing up in the good ol' days, when some neighborhood families had a mix of boys and girls, some had only boys, some had only girls, and some had only children. And everyone played and got along and hung out, or not, and there was no need for group therapy or Causes over what kind of family you had.

+ 1

But that was true then because most of our parents were not hyper focused on us. This did not mean they did not love their kids but that they were not hyper focused as parents are today. I went outside to play and returned home HOURS later. My mom just knew I was outside with the neighborhood kids. Instead most kids today are involved in organized activities that dictate that we parents be more involved. The style of parenting is just different now than then so of course it penetrates to every level of parenting and we end up with boy vs. girl-mom wars.

You may be describing yourself and your peers as "hyper-focused," but you're not describing me and most people in my friend group. I definitely know these types of parents; but they aren't in our friend group for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has four boys and she’ll #boymom on occasion. It’s meant to be lighthearted, and those boys have excellent manners.
She is absolutely desperate for a girl. They are considering IVF for gender selection. I suspect most of the #boymoms are deeply longing for girls, so we should be kind.

I don't know one #boymom that wished for a girl.. especially once middle school hits.

It's like missing a bullet.

Yep. They are all a little sad about not getting a girl. It’s not a mystery. Also, I’m not sure what world you guys a living in where middle school boys are a breeze. Silly stuff.

I have all boys and have never used the phrase BOYMOM in my life prior to this post, but the fact that you and other posters have apparently decided that moms of boys must be sad about not having girls makes me want to cheer on the people who use it. Honestly the only time I ever think about having all boys is when some all girl mom asks me in a fake tone of sympathy whether I am going "try for a girl." It's so obnoxious.

DP, but if you don't self-identify as a #boymom, then this thread isn't directed at you, whether you have all boys or not. Plenty of moms of only boys love having boys, don't call themselves boymoms, and are reasonable. But seriously, have you not heard of people asking moms of all girls whether they're going to "try for a boy?" It goes both ways.

Why women who don't have daughters think they're qualified to opine on how different it is than raising sons is beyond me. But I'm sick of the laziness at best and misogyny at worst that #boymom represents.

I'm PP and in my friend group, the difference in how moms of all girls are treated with respect to having a boy is different enough from what happens to the all boy moms that we've talked about it. All (and I mean every single boy mom) has has multiple encounters like I have, the syrupy-sweet fake pity for not having girls from girl moms. It happens the other way, but rarely.

This is born out in surveys, by the way. Americans prefer baby girls in general. Sex selection is done more often for girls. It is a thing, and you pretending it doesn't happen is obnoxious.

I will also say that I had never thought much about BOYMOM before this thread but the reaction of you and other posters like you makes me want to cheer them on.

That you don't know that baby girls are routinely KILLED in other parts of the world solely because they are girls is disgusting and shameful. Get off your privileged American high horse. JFC.

[Anonymous]

The belief and attitude from mothers of girls that women who use #boymom are secretly pining for girls is partly why the label became popular. Such misandry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, growing up in the good ol' days, when some neighborhood families had a mix of boys and girls, some had only boys, some had only girls, and some had only children. And everyone played and got along and hung out, or not, and there was no need for group therapy or Causes over what kind of family you had.

+ 1

But that was true then because most of our parents were not hyper focused on us. This did not mean they did not love their kids but that they were not hyper focused as parents are today. I went outside to play and returned home HOURS later. My mom just knew I was outside with the neighborhood kids. Instead most kids today are involved in organized activities that dictate that we parents be more involved. The style of parenting is just different now than then so of course it penetrates to every level of parenting and we end up with boy vs. girl-mom wars.

You may be describing yourself and your peers as "hyper-focused," but you're not describing me and most people in my friend group. I definitely know these types of parents; but they aren't in our friend group for a reason.

DP
of course not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, growing up in the good ol' days, when some neighborhood families had a mix of boys and girls, some had only boys, some had only girls, and some had only children. And everyone played and got along and hung out, or not, and there was no need for group therapy or Causes over what kind of family you had.

+ 1

But that was true then because most of our parents were not hyper focused on us. This did not mean they did not love their kids but that they were not hyper focused as parents are today. I went outside to play and returned home HOURS later. My mom just knew I was outside with the neighborhood kids. Instead most kids today are involved in organized activities that dictate that we parents be more involved. The style of parenting is just different now than then so of course it penetrates to every level of parenting and we end up with boy vs. girl-mom wars.

You may be describing yourself and your peers as "hyper-focused," but you're not describing me and most people in my friend group. I definitely know these types of parents; but they aren't in our friend group for a reason.

DP
of course not

People Are Different From You

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The belief and attitude from mothers of girls that women who use #boymom are secretly pining for girls is partly why the label became popular. Such misandry.

I have two girls and have been asked on numerous occasions if we would be "trying for a boy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has four boys and she’ll #boymom on occasion. It’s meant to be lighthearted, and those boys have excellent manners.
She is absolutely desperate for a girl. They are considering IVF for gender selection. I suspect most of the #boymoms are deeply longing for girls, so we should be kind.

I don't know one #boymom that wished for a girl.. especially once middle school hits.

It's like missing a bullet.

Yep. They are all a little sad about not getting a girl. It’s not a mystery. Also, I’m not sure what world you guys a living in where middle school boys are a breeze. Silly stuff.

I have all boys and have never used the phrase BOYMOM in my life prior to this post, but the fact that you and other posters have apparently decided that moms of boys must be sad about not having girls makes me want to cheer on the people who use it. Honestly the only time I ever think about having all boys is when some all girl mom asks me in a fake tone of sympathy whether I am going "try for a girl." It's so obnoxious.

DP, but if you don't self-identify as a #boymom, then this thread isn't directed at you, whether you have all boys or not. Plenty of moms of only boys love having boys, don't call themselves boymoms, and are reasonable. But seriously, have you not heard of people asking moms of all girls whether they're going to "try for a boy?" It goes both ways.

Why women who don't have daughters think they're qualified to opine on how different it is than raising sons is beyond me. But I'm sick of the laziness at best and misogyny at worst that #boymom represents.

I'm PP and in my friend group, the difference in how moms of all girls are treated with respect to having a boy is different enough from what happens to the all boy moms that we've talked about it. All (and I mean every single boy mom) has has multiple encounters like I have, the syrupy-sweet fake pity for not having girls from girl moms. It happens the other way, but rarely.

This is born out in surveys, by the way. Americans prefer baby girls in general. Sex selection is done more often for girls. It is a thing, and you pretending it doesn't happen is obnoxious.

I will also say that I had never thought much about BOYMOM before this thread but the reaction of you and other posters like you makes me want to cheer them on.

That you don't know that baby girls are routinely KILLED in other parts of the world solely because they are girls is disgusting and shameful. Get off your privileged American high horse. JFC.

Yes, we are clearly discussing the use of #boymom by moms in rural India in this thread.

You know, you really aren't doing much to disprove the posters who called you crazy earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has four boys and she’ll #boymom on occasion. It’s meant to be lighthearted, and those boys have excellent manners.
She is absolutely desperate for a girl. They are considering IVF for gender selection. I suspect most of the #boymoms are deeply longing for girls, so we should be kind.

I don't know one #boymom that wished for a girl.. especially once middle school hits.

It's like missing a bullet.

Yep. They are all a little sad about not getting a girl. It’s not a mystery. Also, I’m not sure what world you guys a living in where middle school boys are a breeze. Silly stuff.

I have all boys and have never used the phrase BOYMOM in my life prior to this post, but the fact that you and other posters have apparently decided that moms of boys must be sad about not having girls makes me want to cheer on the people who use it. Honestly the only time I ever think about having all boys is when some all girl mom asks me in a fake tone of sympathy whether I am going "try for a girl." It's so obnoxious.

DP, but if you don't self-identify as a #boymom, then this thread isn't directed at you, whether you have all boys or not. Plenty of moms of only boys love having boys, don't call themselves boymoms, and are reasonable. But seriously, have you not heard of people asking moms of all girls whether they're going to "try for a boy?" It goes both ways.

Why women who don't have daughters think they're qualified to opine on how different it is than raising sons is beyond me. But I'm sick of the laziness at best and misogyny at worst that #boymom represents.

I'm PP and in my friend group, the difference in how moms of all girls are treated with respect to having a boy is different enough from what happens to the all boy moms that we've talked about it. All (and I mean every single boy mom) has has multiple encounters like I have, the syrupy-sweet fake pity for not having girls from girl moms. It happens the other way, but rarely.

This is born out in surveys, by the way. Americans prefer baby girls in general. Sex selection is done more often for girls. It is a thing, and you pretending it doesn't happen is obnoxious.

I will also say that I had never thought much about BOYMOM before this thread but the reaction of you and other posters like you makes me want to cheer them on.

That you don't know that baby girls are routinely KILLED in other parts of the world solely because they are girls is disgusting and shameful. Get off your privileged American high horse. JFC.

Yes, we are clearly discussing the use of #boymom by moms in rural India in this thread.

You know, you really aren't doing much to disprove the posters who called you crazy earlier.

That was a different PP, although I agree with her. Also, I could not care less what people with perspectives as pathetic as yours think of me.

And, hey, way to deflect from the bigger picture issues. That's what I despise most about the boymom thing: utter disregard for the continued privileged role that males hold in the world at large. Instead, it's all about them and their discomfort. Misogynist to the core.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has four boys and she’ll #boymom on occasion. It’s meant to be lighthearted, and those boys have excellent manners.
She is absolutely desperate for a girl. They are considering IVF for gender selection. I suspect most of the #boymoms are deeply longing for girls, so we should be kind.

I don't know one #boymom that wished for a girl.. especially once middle school hits.

It's like missing a bullet.

Yep. They are all a little sad about not getting a girl. It’s not a mystery. Also, I’m not sure what world you guys a living in where middle school boys are a breeze. Silly stuff.

I have all boys and have never used the phrase BOYMOM in my life prior to this post, but the fact that you and other posters have apparently decided that moms of boys must be sad about not having girls makes me want to cheer on the people who use it. Honestly the only time I ever think about having all boys is when some all girl mom asks me in a fake tone of sympathy whether I am going "try for a girl." It's so obnoxious.

Nope you are not understanding what I am talking about. YOU are a mom of boys not a #boymom. So, no I don’t think you have some deep desire for a girl. You aren’t overcompensating. You aren’t projecting a bunch of weirdness online. But the few #boymom women in my life absolutely are dying for girls. Having boys, and being a #boymom aren’t the same. I also said we should be kind. It’s not easy when ladies want talk about “girl drama”’or whatever, but I try to have patience. There are feelings being buried, and it makes people act in unfortunate ways.

[Anonymous]

Keep digging, lady.

I started reading the this thread thinking #boymom was kind of stupid at best. But after having read you and the others, and seeing how much misandry they have to cope with, I have changed my mind completely. Go #boymoms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep digging, lady.

I started reading the this thread thinking #boymom was kind of stupid at best. But after having read you and the others, and seeing how much misandry they have to cope with, I have changed my mind completely. Go #boymoms!

This was for the PP above who felt compelled to lecture on girl mortality rates in rural third world countries because she got upset seeing a happy mother of boys on American social media. Though it isn't just her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that one of the key points that makes #boymom a thing and not #girlmom is the fact that mothers of boys are raising opposite gender children. Mothers of only boys do not have any experience raising a girl, but they do know what it's like to be a girl. I suspect the #boymom thing grew partly out of this notion that there is something a bit mysterious to a woman about raising a boy. The most obvious example is the exasperation about boys who can't seem to pee directly and neatly into the toilet. Why?!?

Of course, this is all pure speculation. I am a mother of only boys, but I've never been tempted to use the term #boymom. But I think I understand how the term may have originated. I also acknowledge that it sometimes reinforces gender stereotypes in an unfortunate way.

Way to ruin the fun, #sanemom