My DS accidentally saw a disturbing image online

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What kind of delicate snowflake are you raising that he CRIED? I mean, holy shit.

omg glad I'm not the only one who thought this.

+1. I laughed when I read that.

So you show your 11 y/o porn? At what age did you start with them? Did you skip picture books and go straight to Hustler?

NP here. Don't be stupid! I have never shown my 11 year old porn and had he seen the picture OP describes his reaction at age 11 would be a. "That's fake! " or b. That's gross or That's stupid!." Not screaming and crying. My 6 year old might scream and cry. Actually, my 11 yo might scream and cry too because he would know he would be in massive trouble for purposely looking up porn and then lying about it.

You are not as nice a person as you think you are. A grown up (a parent!) who would mock an 11 year old kid for being scared by a pornographic picture is.......pretty bad.

I'm not mocking the 1 year old. Please work on your comprehension and stop pulling things out of your behind because people don't agree with you. What I and others have said is the screaming and crying is not a typical reaction of an 11 year old.

You are mocking this kid. Not all kids are the same. Maybe yours is exposed to more adult stuff but clearly this one is not. I think an 11 who still has some innocence is a good thing. Why do these kids have to grow up so fast and be so immune to everything in the adult world? I would hope an 11 has never been exposed to that kind of thing and would be scared and shocked and upset. Expect kids to handle adult stuff like adults is ridiculous and sad.

You are aware that within 2-3 years, your 11 year old son will probably be receiving blow jobs, right? Although if he screams and cries...maybe not.

I don't know what kind of hell hole your raising your kids in, but I can assure you that most 13/14 year old kid are not out getting/giving blow jobs. If you think that's normal that is really sad. I fell bad for your children.

Enough of this "feel bad for your children" crap.
At my CATHOLIC high school kids were absolutely giving blowjobs at that age. Somehow, I personally managed to abstain from that until college, and didn't actually have sex until I was 24. I was the "abnormal" one.
Take the rose colored glasses off, PP, and join the real world.
There is a huge difference between not wanting your kids to engage in these activities and what is actually happening.

Don't bother pp you are wasting your time. She is the perfect parent who plans on spending every second with her child until the moment they say I do and who knows maybe fter to make sure Jr doesn't get scared and overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if your son started to tear up because he was worried about your reaction. I love my mom, but reacting appropriately was not her strong suit. I could totally see her crying and going on and on about loss of my innocence. Which would make me super uncomfortable to ever talk to her about anything sexual. Your kid is entering the years where he needs to feel safe and comfortable coming to you about things. And if your reactions are going to do the opposite, you really need to figure out how to change it.

Excellent observation and I think you are spot on. Rather than being scared of the image, he was scared of how his mom would react and given OP's replies that is understandable. I can see her son thinking he is now bad for having looked at or looked up the image intentionally or otherwise and now wonders if mom thinks he is bad and unforgivable for making this mistake and getting caught.

Uh, no responsible parent is going to let their 11 year old surf for porn and, yes, there would absolutely be consequences if a kid was caught doing that. However, the Op's kid pulled up the image on his mom's computer with his mother right there cooking dinner. His brother asked if the packet of slivered almonds was a package of mints.....the kid googled MINTS TS and that link came up.

I believe Op when she says that this all happened really fast and randomly. Maybe you don't. There is no way to prove what really did or did not happen.

That was a shocking image, though. There was nothing about the link, that I recall, to suggest this kind of picture.

Enough with the showing your kids porn strawman. No one here is showing their kids porn or advocating it what pp rightly pointed out is the kid's reaction was i response to how he thought his mother would react.

Looking at OP's replies it's clear she thinks transgendered and gay people are dirty bad and evil, it's clear she thinks sex is dirty bad and evil and ever to be discussed, she has probably made her opinion clear many times to her child including that porn is dirty bad and evil and that people who look at it are dirty bad and evil. Her son has internalized that message so when he saw the image maybe by mistake he believes he is no dirty, bad and evil and about to yelled at by mom.

PP is right about innocence parents and how it can take on a life of it's own and go beyond normal parenting into shaming and making kids feel like awful beings when they make a mistake or have questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if your son started to tear up because he was worried about your reaction. I love my mom, but reacting appropriately was not her strong suit. I could totally see her crying and going on and on about loss of my innocence. Which would make me super uncomfortable to ever talk to her about anything sexual. Your kid is entering the years where he needs to feel safe and comfortable coming to you about things. And if your reactions are going to do the opposite, you really need to figure out how to change it.

Excellent observation and I think you are spot on. Rather than being scared of the image, he was scared of how his mom would react and given OP's replies that is understandable. I can see her son thinking he is now bad for having looked at or looked up the image intentionally or otherwise and now wonders if mom thinks he is bad and unforgivable for making this mistake and getting caught.

Uh, no responsible parent is going to let their 11 year old surf for porn and, yes, there would absolutely be consequences if a kid was caught doing that. However, the Op's kid pulled up the image on his mom's computer with his mother right there cooking dinner. His brother asked if the packet of slivered almonds was a package of mints.....the kid googled MINTS TS and that link came up.

I believe Op when she says that this all happened really fast and randomly. Maybe you don't. There is no way to prove what really did or did not happen.

That was a shocking image, though. There was nothing about the link, that I recall, to suggest this kind of picture.

Enough with the showing your kids porn strawman. No one here is showing their kids porn or advocating it what pp rightly pointed out is the kid's reaction was i response to how he thought his mother would react.

Looking at OP's replies it's clear she thinks transgendered and gay people are dirty bad and evil, it's clear she thinks sex is dirty bad and evil and ever to be discussed, she has probably made her opinion clear many times to her child including that porn is dirty bad and evil and that people who look at it are dirty bad and evil. Her son has internalized that message so when he saw the image maybe by mistake he believes he is no dirty, bad and evil and about to yelled at by mom.

PP is right about innocence parents and how it can take on a life of it's own and go beyond normal parenting into shaming and making kids feel like awful beings when they make a mistake or have questions.

Huh?

Op was offended by that picture that her son saw. It was clearly too much, too soon and it freaked him out. I highly doubt that Op had ever talked to her 11 year old boy about porn before this picture came up. You clearly don't "get" why Op was upset. If she wants to come back and explain it to you, she can.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What kind of delicate snowflake are you raising that he CRIED? I mean, holy shit.

omg glad I'm not the only one who thought this.

+1. I laughed when I read that.

So you show your 11 y/o porn? At what age did you start with them? Did you skip picture books and go straight to Hustler?

NP here. Don't be stupid! I have never shown my 11 year old porn and had he seen the picture OP describes his reaction at age 11 would be a. "That's fake! " or b. That's gross or That's stupid!." Not screaming and crying. My 6 year old might scream and cry. Actually, my 11 yo might scream and cry too because he would know he would be in massive trouble for purposely looking up porn and then lying about it.

You are not as nice a person as you think you are. A grown up (a parent!) who would mock an 11 year old kid for being scared by a pornographic picture is.......pretty bad.

I'm not mocking the 1 year old. Please work on your comprehension and stop pulling things out of your behind because people don't agree with you. What I and others have said is the screaming and crying is not a typical reaction of an 11 year old.

You are mocking this kid. Not all kids are the same. Maybe yours is exposed to more adult stuff but clearly this one is not. I think an 11 who still has some innocence is a good thing. Why do these kids have to grow up so fast and be so immune to everything in the adult world? I would hope an 11 has never been exposed to that kind of thing and would be scared and shocked and upset. Expect kids to handle adult stuff like adults is ridiculous and sad.

You are aware that within 2-3 years, your 11 year old son will probably be receiving blow jobs, right? Although if he screams and cries...maybe not.

I don't know what kind of hell hole your raising your kids in, but I can assure you that most 13/14 year old kid are not out getting/giving blow jobs. If you think that's normal that is really sad. I fell bad for your children.

Enough of this "feel bad for your children" crap.
At my CATHOLIC high school kids were absolutely giving blowjobs at that age. Somehow, I personally managed to abstain from that until college, and didn't actually have sex until I was 24. I was the "abnormal" one.
Take the rose colored glasses off, PP, and join the real world.
There is a huge difference between not wanting your kids to engage in these activities and what is actually happening.

Your school did a terrible job of supervising their students if all the kids were giving blow jobs like that. Seriously. That is not normal.

If this was happening at home or the homes of your friends then there was improper parental supervision. Sorry. Your friends' parents were lax and lazy.

NP here. Do you go to the bathroom or step into the kitchen while your kids have friends over? Because that is exactly how long it took for me to give my first blow job.

Well, good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I get to the picture? Type MINTS TS in google? Now I want to see it.

Nah, nothing really comes up searching that...

Do a search for "long mint tgp".... you'll get lots of pics...

She does videos too, if you like action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if your son started to tear up because he was worried about your reaction. I love my mom, but reacting appropriately was not her strong suit. I could totally see her crying and going on and on about loss of my innocence. Which would make me super uncomfortable to ever talk to her about anything sexual. Your kid is entering the years where he needs to feel safe and comfortable coming to you about things. And if your reactions are going to do the opposite, you really need to figure out how to change it.

Excellent observation and I think you are spot on. Rather than being scared of the image, he was scared of how his mom would react and given OP's replies that is understandable. I can see her son thinking he is now bad for having looked at or looked up the image intentionally or otherwise and now wonders if mom thinks he is bad and unforgivable for making this mistake and getting caught.

Uh, no responsible parent is going to let their 11 year old surf for porn and, yes, there would absolutely be consequences if a kid was caught doing that. However, the Op's kid pulled up the image on his mom's computer with his mother right there cooking dinner. His brother asked if the packet of slivered almonds was a package of mints.....the kid googled MINTS TS and that link came up.

I believe Op when she says that this all happened really fast and randomly. Maybe you don't. There is no way to prove what really did or did not happen.

That was a shocking image, though. There was nothing about the link, that I recall, to suggest this kind of picture.

Enough with the showing your kids porn strawman. No one here is showing their kids porn or advocating it what pp rightly pointed out is the kid's reaction was i response to how he thought his mother would react.

Looking at OP's replies it's clear she thinks transgendered and gay people are dirty bad and evil, it's clear she thinks sex is dirty bad and evil and ever to be discussed, she has probably made her opinion clear many times to her child including that porn is dirty bad and evil and that people who look at it are dirty bad and evil. Her son has internalized that message so when he saw the image maybe by mistake he believes he is no dirty, bad and evil and about to yelled at by mom.

PP is right about innocence parents and how it can take on a life of it's own and go beyond normal parenting into shaming and making kids feel like awful beings when they make a mistake or have questions.

I couldn't agree more. Not necessarily saying OP is doing this, but attitudes like that mess boys/men up in all kinds of ways, madonna/whore syndrome comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

Googling MINT TS on my computer only got hits about actual mint, no porn. And I definitely do look at porn on my computer so that's not the reason. I did manage to find the porn the kid apparently saw.

I can see why he cried! As a supposedly straight male, he was probably very scared of his own reaction to this sight! What is turning me on? Is it the beautiful Thai "lady" or is it the very large erect penis? Very confusing!

I think he may also have been very upset because it is very upsetting to look at porn with your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if your son started to tear up because he was worried about your reaction. I love my mom, but reacting appropriately was not her strong suit. I could totally see her crying and going on and on about loss of my innocence. Which would make me super uncomfortable to ever talk to her about anything sexual. Your kid is entering the years where he needs to feel safe and comfortable coming to you about things. And if your reactions are going to do the opposite, you really need to figure out how to change it.

Excellent observation and I think you are spot on. Rather than being scared of the image, he was scared of how his mom would react and given OP's replies that is understandable. I can see her son thinking he is now bad for having looked at or looked up the image intentionally or otherwise and now wonders if mom thinks he is bad and unforgivable for making this mistake and getting caught.

This is the OP. Your powers of observation have failed you. You are completely and totally not "spot on." My son was shocked and scared because he accidentally found an image he did not understand and did not expect to see. What I actually told him was he hadn't done anything wrong and it would be ok. I told him that he could talk to me or his dad about anything and that we would answer any questions or explain anything that he didn't understand. We are very open and very accessible to our kids without judgement. But he's 11 and still, thank god, innocent in many ways. The image shocked him and it was an accident, not intentional on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if your son started to tear up because he was worried about your reaction. I love my mom, but reacting appropriately was not her strong suit. I could totally see her crying and going on and on about loss of my innocence. Which would make me super uncomfortable to ever talk to her about anything sexual. Your kid is entering the years where he needs to feel safe and comfortable coming to you about things. And if your reactions are going to do the opposite, you really need to figure out how to change it.

Excellent observation and I think you are spot on. Rather than being scared of the image, he was scared of how his mom would react and given OP's replies that is understandable. I can see her son thinking he is now bad for having looked at or looked up the image intentionally or otherwise and now wonders if mom thinks he is bad and unforgivable for making this mistake and getting caught.

Uh, no responsible parent is going to let their 11 year old surf for porn and, yes, there would absolutely be consequences if a kid was caught doing that. However, the Op's kid pulled up the image on his mom's computer with his mother right there cooking dinner. His brother asked if the packet of slivered almonds was a package of mints.....the kid googled MINTS TS and that link came up.

I believe Op when she says that this all happened really fast and randomly. Maybe you don't. There is no way to prove what really did or did not happen.

That was a shocking image, though. There was nothing about the link, that I recall, to suggest this kind of picture.

No one has said to let your kid surf porn. Stop playing dumb , but since you believe the candy story maybe you are dumb.

Why are you so quick to believe the most sinister of theories, for which there is no evidence. The situation has been explained thoroughly and is quite believable. If the kid wanted to surf porn, he certainly wouldn't do it right under mom's nose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if your son started to tear up because he was worried about your reaction. I love my mom, but reacting appropriately was not her strong suit. I could totally see her crying and going on and on about loss of my innocence. Which would make me super uncomfortable to ever talk to her about anything sexual. Your kid is entering the years where he needs to feel safe and comfortable coming to you about things. And if your reactions are going to do the opposite, you really need to figure out how to change it.

Excellent observation and I think you are spot on. Rather than being scared of the image, he was scared of how his mom would react and given OP's replies that is understandable. I can see her son thinking he is now bad for having looked at or looked up the image intentionally or otherwise and now wonders if mom thinks he is bad and unforgivable for making this mistake and getting caught.

Uh, no responsible parent is going to let their 11 year old surf for porn and, yes, there would absolutely be consequences if a kid was caught doing that. However, the Op's kid pulled up the image on his mom's computer with his mother right there cooking dinner. His brother asked if the packet of slivered almonds was a package of mints.....the kid googled MINTS TS and that link came up.

I believe Op when she says that this all happened really fast and randomly. Maybe you don't. There is no way to prove what really did or did not happen.

That was a shocking image, though. There was nothing about the link, that I recall, to suggest this kind of picture.

Enough with the showing your kids porn strawman. No one here is showing their kids porn or advocating it what pp rightly pointed out is the kid's reaction was i response to how he thought his mother would react.

Looking at OP's replies it's clear she thinks transgendered and gay people are dirty bad and evil, it's clear she thinks sex is dirty bad and evil and ever to be discussed, she has probably made her opinion clear many times to her child including that porn is dirty bad and evil and that people who look at it are dirty bad and evil. Her son has internalized that message so when he saw the image maybe by mistake he believes he is no dirty, bad and evil and about to yelled at by mom.

PP is right about innocence parents and how it can take on a life of it's own and go beyond normal parenting into shaming and making kids feel like awful beings when they make a mistake or have questions.

This is the OP. You have a very active imagination but you are not very good at reading people because you couldn't be more wrong about me. I do not think any of those things about transgendered persons or gay persons or any other persons. I am very accepting of people living their lives as they see fit and that's what I teach my kids. They do know what gay is and understand that people love and live differently and that we treat all people with respect. That's what they are taught at home. BUT, that doesn't mean that seeing a pornographic image like that is ok for my 11 year old son. He knows about sex. He doesn't know much about porn and he doesn't need to right now. He definitely doesn't need to know all about its many variations. He really did search for MINTS TS looking for candy because his brother asked if the silver wrappers were candy wrappers. He was catching up on math and what kid wouldn't rather google candy instead of doing pre-algebra?? If he wanted to surf porn, he has lots of other opportunities to do it rather than on my laptop right under my nose.

Maybe I was not precise in my language about his reaction. Screaming may have been too much. He yelped. Slammed the laptop shut. Turned beet red, teared up, and said something like "oh no, oh no!" "I didn't click that" or whatever. He was very upset and did not understand what he saw. I immediately went to him and asked what it was but he didn't want to talk about it. I comforted him, told him he didn't do anything wrong and that we'd talk about it when he was ready. I didn't even know what it was at that moment. He calmed down and went on to finish his math. The point is that it is so damn easy to find something on the internet that kid just don't need to see. No matter how careful we are, it can happen.

I've been picked apart and castigated by a bunch of strangers who don't know anything about me or my kid. But the fact is, the same thing could happen to your kids and you'd like feel bad for them, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the problem is. EXPLAIN it to him. My very immature 10 year old asked me about pornography recently and I explained what it was. Some people like to look at it, etc.

Honestly, if you keep it age appropriate, answer questions, and don't make a big deal of things, then the kids won't either. They won't be as embarrassed. And they know they can safely answer questions.

Talk.To.Your.Kids.

Your kid approached YOU to ask you questions about pornography. I highly doubt that you pulled up an image of the Thai boylady to illustrate your points.

Op's kid was googling candy mints and that image was suddenly on the screen. It freaked him out. Maybe it was too much too soon for him? In fact, I will bet that it was.

Yes, kids talk on the playground and she overheard it. I'm not sure why that is so hard for you to understand. Kids talk about inappropriate things. Kids stumble across things on the internet (a friend just told me a similar story as OP). No, I did not show her anything.

And, yes, he was freaked out. He reacted how he reacted. I don't care about that. But the OP should be talking to him about it. I mean, WTF? She doesn't have to pull the picture up and dissect it. But explain what it is. If he can't get honest answers from his MOTHER or FATHER, then who is he supposed to go to? And, I assure you, his peers will fill that void.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the problem is. EXPLAIN it to him. My very immature 10 year old asked me about pornography recently and I explained what it was. Some people like to look at it, etc.

Honestly, if you keep it age appropriate, answer questions, and don't make a big deal of things, then the kids won't either. They won't be as embarrassed. And they know they can safely answer questions.

Talk.To.Your.Kids.

Your kid approached YOU to ask you questions about pornography. I highly doubt that you pulled up an image of the Thai boylady to illustrate your points.

Op's kid was googling candy mints and that image was suddenly on the screen. It freaked him out. Maybe it was too much too soon for him? In fact, I will bet that it was.

Yes, kids talk on the playground and she overheard it. I'm not sure why that is so hard for you to understand. Kids talk about inappropriate things. Kids stumble across things on the internet (a friend just told me a similar story as OP). No, I did not show her anything.

And, yes, he was freaked out. He reacted how he reacted. I don't care about that. But the OP should be talking to him about it. I mean, WTF? She doesn't have to pull the picture up and dissect it. But explain what it is. If he can't get honest answers from his MOTHER or FATHER, then who is he supposed to go to? And, I assure you, his peers will fill that void.

I HAVE talked to him about it. As much as he is ready to talk at this point. I will be revisited as he matures. His dad has talked to him about it. We are not sticking our heads in the sand but we aren't forcing him to discuss it right now, either. We are letting him lead the conversation and letting him know that we are available and no subject is off limits. What else can we do at this point?

[Anonymous]

It does happen sometimes.... you can set Safe Search features on Google.

Back in the day, whitehouse.com used to be a porn site... I remember my colleague at work bringing that page up by accident and then he was parancid that IT was going to come have a talk with him.

Not long ago my DD tells me she wants a book from the kids aiuthor Serena Valentino. I didn't know how to spell it, typed in Sarina Valentina and got links to pics just like OP.

All that said, OP's story still seems fishy to me. Even though nearly same thing happened to me (but kid didn't see, and there was no screaming, yelping, crying, or weeping).

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why people were crying? Grossed out, sure, a bit freaked out, a bit WTF?! Ok. But crying?

My 6 year old was at her BFF’s house where they had unsupervised use of an iPad and started googling “sexy women videos” on YouTube. Well, they quickly found soft lesbian porn, women touching each other, kissing each other, saying dirty stuff to each other. The BFF’s brother caught them, told the mom, she told me. So we had to have a big talk with them about the internet, why they were looking for “sexy videos” , and answer questions. The girls weren’t so upset about the same sex action, it was more why was it recorded in a video and on internet. Who watches that? Who wants to see that? We all stayed calm, listened, talked, breathed. No one cried. Why would someone cry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why people were crying? Grossed out, sure, a bit freaked out, a bit WTF?! Ok. But crying?

My 6 year old was at her BFF’s house where they had unsupervised use of an iPad and started googling “sexy women videos” on YouTube. Well, they quickly found soft lesbian porn, women touching each other, kissing each other, saying dirty stuff to each other. The BFF’s brother caught them, told the mom, she told me. So we had to have a big talk with them about the internet, why they were looking for “sexy videos” , and answer questions. The girls weren’t so upset about the same sex action, it was more why was it recorded in a video and on internet. Who watches that? Who wants to see that? We all stayed calm, listened, talked, breathed. No one cried. Why would someone cry?

Because people are different? Because your kid purposely searched for "sexy women videos?" WTF? Your kid, at age 6, is looking deliberately looking for sex videos on the internet and you're judging someone else's kid for crying because he saw something that shocked him? Look in your own backyard before you judge other people's kids.