Women, be honest, if your husband was fat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.

No way in hell a heterosexual man could say that to his wife without utterly crushing her spirit and confidence.

Yup, which is exactly why I'm so glad I'm a heterosexual woman. I would never ever be able to deal with the hypersensitivities of most women. Of course there are exceptions on both sides.

My DH wanted sex, i wanted the fit man i first married back in order to want to have sex. He took that seriously, double downed and i got a man hotter and harder than the one I married. He's not complaining now.

Did he really not make the connection between his weight gain and your lack of desire until you told him to lose weight?

No he did not make the connection, he does not deal in smoke signals. We speak very directly to each other. Minimizes conflict and confusion.

Not a smoke signal, just an inability to actually think about why you might not want to sleep with him. Bad breath? No. Could it be the tremendous amount of weight I've gained? Oh yeah, that's probably it.

If you gain 50 pounds, but nothing else changes with you physically or with your relationship, you wouldn't think it might be your weight?

I'd say most people in general would not want to jump to the conclusion that if their spouse were not sleeping with them, it was because they had gained weight. There is a lot of fat sex going on out there in the married world. One of my best friends who is very thin and physically fit has a husband over 300lbs and they have sex all the time. it makes my stomach lurch when I hear about it, but it works for her. She has no problem with it. If she were to suddenly stop having sex with him, it would not be because of his weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

I don't particularly care about her approval, but it does show a mindset about sex that's pretty challenging when it shows up in a marriage. A guy should be a solid partner and, in addition, should recognize that women often take more warming up to enjoy sex. But, at a certain point, if the wife is so indifferent to sex that it falls low on the priority list, even caring husbands who aren't lazy will begin to feel like getting his wife interested in sex is a Sisyphean task that isn't worth the effort.

[Anonymous]

I really hate reading these threads, because I am a high drive woman married to a lower drive man and it's humiliating having to figure out when is a good time to approach him for sex. I agree, self service is much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

I don't particularly care about her approval, but it does show a mindset about sex that's pretty challenging when it shows up in a marriage. A guy should be a solid partner and, in addition, should recognize that women often take more warming up to enjoy sex. But, at a certain point, if the wife is so indifferent to sex that it falls low on the priority list, even caring husbands who aren't lazy will begin to feel like getting his wife interested in sex is a Sisyphean task that isn't worth the effort.

I'm the OP in this specific thread of replies. I am not at all indifferent to sex. It's not low on my priority list. I just take a little longer and a little more care... Otherwise, I will have sex for an hour if he wants. I just don't want him bursting up on me with a boner asking for it right away. Like give me some clues, too, maybe I will want to hop in the shower and lather up with a bunch of lotion, or put on a sexy bra. Then give me like 10 minutes of foreplay and I swear, I'm game for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Any woman that disagrees with you is a cat lady... right. Wishful thinking, fatsy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

I don't particularly care about her approval, but it does show a mindset about sex that's pretty challenging when it shows up in a marriage. A guy should be a solid partner and, in addition, should recognize that women often take more warming up to enjoy sex. But, at a certain point, if the wife is so indifferent to sex that it falls low on the priority list, even caring husbands who aren't lazy will begin to feel like getting his wife interested in sex is a Sisyphean task that isn't worth the effort.

I think your attitude is fairly troubling. You want sex and whine about the lack of it... but aren't willing to do the things to get it. So you have the sex life you deserve. Shrug. The only person who suffers is you. You act like getting your partner interested is a burden. Don't be surprised when she feels the same way about your lack of bedroom prowess. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

I don't particularly care about her approval, but it does show a mindset about sex that's pretty challenging when it shows up in a marriage. A guy should be a solid partner and, in addition, should recognize that women often take more warming up to enjoy sex. But, at a certain point, if the wife is so indifferent to sex that it falls low on the priority list, even caring husbands who aren't lazy will begin to feel like getting his wife interested in sex is a Sisyphean task that isn't worth the effort.

You're lazy in the sack, and your wife isn't interested. Why would you be bothered if she accepts your laziness and go does the same thing you do- watch porn? Or was it a histrionic attempt to make her care?

[Anonymous]

I am not turned on by fat men. No way, no how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

I don't particularly care about her approval, but it does show a mindset about sex that's pretty challenging when it shows up in a marriage. A guy should be a solid partner and, in addition, should recognize that women often take more warming up to enjoy sex. But, at a certain point, if the wife is so indifferent to sex that it falls low on the priority list, even caring husbands who aren't lazy will begin to feel like getting his wife interested in sex is a Sisyphean task that isn't worth the effort.

I'm the OP in this specific thread of replies. I am not at all indifferent to sex. It's not low on my priority list. I just take a little longer and a little more care... Otherwise, I will have sex for an hour if he wants. I just don't want him bursting up on me with a boner asking for it right away. Like give me some clues, too, maybe I will want to hop in the shower and lather up with a bunch of lotion, or put on a sexy bra. Then give me like 10 minutes of foreplay and I swear, I'm game for anything.

Fair enough. I'm very much projecting my own issues onto your thread. So, sorry about that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a small gut, he is 190 lbs and 5'10". It doesn't bother me, but I'm also 135 lbs and 5'2" so I have no room to judge. The only turn off is when attempts to sucker me into sex without foreplay. Don't be an ass, attempt to get me in the mood: I was just reading a book about the Civil War, dammit.

+1000

Why is that so hard for men to get?

I have no problem with the idea that I have to get her in the mood. I enjoy foreplay a lot. The problem comes when she doesn't want to let me get her in the mood. First, I have to get her in the mood to be gotten in the mood. And that's just ridiculous. Porn isn't as good, but it's sooo much easier.

Then stick with porn. Fine by me.

Fine by an anonymous cat lady ... ok. I don't think he wants your approval, but ok.

I don't particularly care about her approval, but it does show a mindset about sex that's pretty challenging when it shows up in a marriage. A guy should be a solid partner and, in addition, should recognize that women often take more warming up to enjoy sex. But, at a certain point, if the wife is so indifferent to sex that it falls low on the priority list, even caring husbands who aren't lazy will begin to feel like getting his wife interested in sex is a Sisyphean task that isn't worth the effort.

I'm the OP in this specific thread of replies. I am not at all indifferent to sex. It's not low on my priority list. I just take a little longer and a little more care... Otherwise, I will have sex for an hour if he wants. I just don't want him bursting up on me with a boner asking for it right away. Like give me some clues, too, maybe I will want to hop in the shower and lather up with a bunch of lotion, or put on a sexy bra. Then give me like 10 minutes of foreplay and I swear, I'm game for anything.

Fair enough. I'm very much projecting my own issues onto your thread. So, sorry about that!

I understand! It's a horribly fraught issue. My husband takes it personally that I don't want to have sex in the middle of watching 60 Minutes. I'm not even remotely in the mood... Now if we were watching a really hot sex scene in a movie that would be something else entirely. I want to have hot ridiculously amazing sex every night, but I can't just flick a switch and if what's going on is very unsexy it may take me a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not turned on by fat men. No way, no how.

You just haven't met the right fat man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The double standards between this thread and the one about fatter wives is astounding. it's ok for a wife to lose interest when he gets big, but not the other way around, got it.

Weight looks different on men and women. Never in the history of time have fat men been idealized

Bodi tribe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you still be attracted to him? Would you want to have sex?

Absolutely not.