Old school DCUM game: You post something about yourself and we'll tell you what's wrong with you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You left out one thing-whenever I have an orgasm I scream out "Surrender Dorothy!"

You've never had an orgasm but that only makes you feel that much closer to Marilyn Monroe. You'd learn to fake it if your husband weren't such an excellent judge of character. He's so good at spotting a fraud it's not even funny. Humor is an opiate for the masses in an age where God is dead, he says, and you believe him. Comedy clubs are out. You get your heckling in in other ways, thank you. After all, necessity is the mother of invention. Your husband hardly seems to notice although he has his suspicions. It's almost like the language you and your BFF spoke as children, except you're the only one in on the joke. Your private secret code.

If humor is an opiate for the masses, it is being killed by political correctness-my husband couldn't figure this is out even if his brain was in his head as opposed to his penis(one is smaller than the other-you guess which). As far as God being dead, you've either seen Rosemary's Baby too often or haven't heard about the recent (like it really is recent) spate of infidelity among prominent public figures. If God wasn't behind these outings don't blame the media-they're just unwitting angels. Look next to you and see your nephew or your sister or your mother or the fact that you aren't starving and you live in a country where a book like And Tango Makes Three can not only be published, but embraced. If that isn't fact of a higher power, than I don't know what is. Sorry for being too serious. Knock, knock, who's there? Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise who? Mayonnaise there's a lot of crazy nuts on this site.

[Anonymous]

I am happy that I have a full jar of mayonnaise in my fridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am happy that I have a full jar of mayonnaise in my fridge.

Let's get together and make meat helmets. Hellman's or Kraft??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You left out one thing-whenever I have an orgasm I scream out "Surrender Dorothy!"

You've never had an orgasm but that only makes you feel that much closer to Marilyn Monroe. You'd learn to fake it if your husband weren't such an excellent judge of character. He's so good at spotting a fraud it's not even funny. Humor is an opiate for the masses in an age where God is dead, he says, and you believe him. Comedy clubs are out. You get your heckling in in other ways, thank you. After all, necessity is the mother of invention. Your husband hardly seems to notice although he has his suspicions. It's almost like the language you and your BFF spoke as children, except you're the only one in on the joke. Your private secret code.

If humor is an opiate for the masses, it is being killed by political correctness-my husband couldn't figure this is out even if his brain was in his head as opposed to his penis(one is smaller than the other-you guess which). As far as God being dead, you've either seen Rosemary's Baby too often or haven't heard about the recent (like it really is recent) spate of infidelity among prominent public figures. If God wasn't behind these outings don't blame the media-they're just unwitting angels. Look next to you and see your nephew or your sister or your mother or the fact that you aren't starving and you live in a country where a book like And Tango Makes Three can not only be published, but embraced. If that isn't fact of a higher power, than I don't know what is. Sorry for being too serious. Knock, knock, who's there? Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise who? Mayonnaise there's a lot of crazy nuts on this site.

If everyone doesn't think exactly the same thing you do, they should, but that doesn't make you closed minded. No one should have been allowed to see The Last Tango In Paris, especially not your husband. Someone whose penis is bigger than his head doesn't need any ideas. He should be spending time behind bars in an orange jumpsuit for what he suggested doing to you. Orange suits him anyway. Wait a minute, someone's knocking at my door. Who is it? Oh, never mind, it's just a banana.

[Anonymous]

My Chiquita, if it wasn't evident before, I am hopelessly, entirely and earnestly in love with you. What's your number?

[Anonymous]

This is getting strange.

[Anonymous]

NOW it's getting strange? I was with you all the way, even when you referred to Brick NJ as being bourgeoisie, in so many words-now you disavow me? What kind of a fair weather friend are you? Obviously, you're not a Redskins's fan.

[Anonymous]

All I ever wanted to do was to branch out on our own, away from family. So we moved here, 500 miles away, and now I miss our family - even my MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is getting strange.

this was an interloper.

[Anonymous]

Weeds is on. Everyone be quiet please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born a poor black child......

and grew up to be a rich white woman.

[Anonymous]

My old, fat, rich husband married me, his second wife, because I am what you would consider to be a "hottie".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born a poor black child......

and grew up to be a rich white woman.

Now that's an accomplishment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born a poor black child......

and grew up to be a rich white woman.

Now that's an accomplishment!

Michael Jackson did it! If he can do it we all can.

[Anonymous]

I like to eat cat food.