Are people secretive about their FA status at your private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time there is a discussion like this on DC UM, I think it misses the central point of F A. Private schools select their students based on a number of criteria. Without financial aid they could not attract the quality of students they want to have in their schools. Most private schools believe having a versus group of including economically diverse students, benefits everyone in the school. They also want to attract students who have a lot of ability are hard-working and contribute to their communities. Also, they want to have students from variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds because it enhances the educational opportunities of the school. So they use financial aid to recruit students who help the school reach these goals. Without such students they would not be able to send so many kids to the top colleges and therefore their reputations would falter. Since it is up to them to choose their students they may use whatever criteria they choose. But most rely on a very sophisticated analysis of a family's ability to pay. That being said my families experience is that they award generous financial aid and increase it if necessary, if the student is doing exceptionally well at the school and is contributing to the school community through leadership and other activities. I believe my kids are helping their school and I am thankful but not embarrassed that they receive financial aid.

Not true. Without financial aid they could not attract the racial and SES diversity they desire. Most privates reject many more qualified applicants than they accept.

Nope, we are at a top tier school and full pay kids have been counseled out.
might not fit in your belief system but they need smart kids from all backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time there is a discussion like this on DC UM, I think it misses the central point of F A. Private schools select their students based on a number of criteria. Without financial aid they could not attract the quality of students they want to have in their schools. Most private schools believe having a versus group of including economically diverse students, benefits everyone in the school. They also want to attract students who have a lot of ability are hard-working and contribute to their communities. Also, they want to have students from variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds because it enhances the educational opportunities of the school. So they use financial aid to recruit students who help the school reach these goals. Without such students they would not be able to send so many kids to the top colleges and therefore their reputations would falter. Since it is up to them to choose their students they may use whatever criteria they choose. But most rely on a very sophisticated analysis of a family's ability to pay. That being said my families experience is that they award generous financial aid and increase it if necessary, if the student is doing exceptionally well at the school and is contributing to the school community through leadership and other activities. I believe my kids are helping their school and I am thankful but not embarrassed that they receive financial aid.

Not true. Without financial aid they could not attract the racial and SES diversity they desire. Most privates reject many more qualified applicants than they accept.

Nope, we are at a top tier school and full pay kids have been counseled out.
might not fit in your belief system but they need smart kids from all backgrounds.

Sending one student on their way for whatever reason does not change the fact that almost every school has more applicants than seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sick of the middle class
Complaining about their "access to financial aid." The middle class has access to good public school options because you have enough money to buy into a good public school
District, at The very least, to rent an apartment in a good public school district. Stop complaining that no one is paying your way into a private school. Private schools are unnecessary luxury item for the middle class. Alternatively, if there are scholarships available why not offer them to children who would have no viable opportunities otherwise? I guess this philosophical difference is what makes me comment on this thread. The FA dollars that are available are just going to kids who would be fine (maybe not "great" but fine) otherwise. Meanwhile, there are hundreds of kids
Who would blow your socks off if they were given an opportunity for small class sizes and individualized attention. I guess the super rich and the striving middle
Class don't want that to happen? Keep the status quo happy,
Keep the gates closed, keep the criteria for admittance the same as it's always been, keep the board happy. (And the lacrosse team happy)

I have family who work at a private school. No, there are not 100's of kids who would succeed at the local privates wasting away in the DC publics. The local privates work extremely hard to find these types of kids, but there really aren't that many, and even the ones they do find tend to struggle. Trust me, if the DC privates could find a large number of poor, URM's to fill their schools, they gladly would for both selfish and altruistic reasons, but unfortunately real life just doesn't look like the movies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sick of the middle class
Complaining about their "access to financial aid." The middle class has access to good public school options because you have enough money to buy into a good public school
District, at The very least, to rent an apartment in a good public school district. Stop complaining that no one is paying your way into a private school. Private schools are unnecessary luxury item for the middle class. Alternatively, if there are scholarships available why not offer them to children who would have no viable opportunities otherwise? I guess this philosophical difference is what makes me comment on this thread. The FA dollars that are available are just going to kids who would be fine (maybe not "great" but fine) otherwise. Meanwhile, there are hundreds of kids
Who would blow your socks off if they were given an opportunity for small class sizes and individualized attention. I guess the super rich and the striving middle
Class don't want that to happen? Keep the status quo happy,
Keep the gates closed, keep the criteria for admittance the same as it's always been, keep the board happy. (And the lacrosse team happy)

I have family who work at a private school. No, there are not 100's of kids who would succeed at the local privates wasting away in the DC publics. The local privates work extremely hard to find these types of kids, but there really aren't that many, and even the ones they do find tend to struggle. Trust me, if the DC privates could find a large number of poor, URM's to fill their schools, they gladly would for both selfish and altruistic reasons, but unfortunately real life just doesn't look like the movies.

I have two kids in a NW DC private HS. We know one kid (teammate) very well who is on full scholarship. Even the little things like transportation are an issue. Behavior expectations are also a challenge. Feels like the entire experience will be a struggle for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time there is a discussion like this on DC UM, I think it misses the central point of F A. Private schools select their students based on a number of criteria. Without financial aid they could not attract the quality of students they want to have in their schools. Most private schools believe having a versus group of students including economically diverse students, benefits everyone in the school. They also want to attract students who have a lot of ability are hard-working and contribute to their communities. Also, they want to have students from variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds because it enhances the educational opportunities of the school. So they use financial aid to recruit students who help the school reach these goals. Without such students they would not be able to send so many kids to the top colleges and therefore their reputations would falter. Since it is up to them to choose their students they may use whatever criteria they choose. But most rely on a very sophisticated analysis of a family's ability to pay. That being said my families experience is that they award generous financial aid and increase it if necessary, if the student is doing exceptionally well at the school and is contributing to the school community through leadership and other activities. I believe my kids are helping their school and I am thankful but not embarrassed that they receive financial aid.

Wow, this is a pretty amazing rationalization of FA. Be honest with yourself - it's an affirmative action, borderline quota system to get URM into good private schools. It exists because a bunch of liberal, wealthy white parents decided to create it. If they turned off the FA tap tomorrow, populations would revert what they were in the 50's and 60's. And if another child with your identical SES applied and was white, they'd have virtually no chance of getting in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time there is a discussion like this on DC UM, I think it misses the central point of F A. Private schools select their students based on a number of criteria. Without financial aid they could not attract the quality of students they want to have in their schools. Most private schools believe having a versus group of students including economically diverse students, benefits everyone in the school. They also want to attract students who have a lot of ability are hard-working and contribute to their communities. Also, they want to have students from variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds because it enhances the educational opportunities of the school. So they use financial aid to recruit students who help the school reach these goals. Without such students they would not be able to send so many kids to the top colleges and therefore their reputations would falter. Since it is up to them to choose their students they may use whatever criteria they choose. But most rely on a very sophisticated analysis of a family's ability to pay. That being said my families experience is that they award generous financial aid and increase it if necessary, if the student is doing exceptionally well at the school and is contributing to the school community through leadership and other activities. I believe my kids are helping their school and I am thankful but not embarrassed that they receive financial aid.

Wow, this is a pretty amazing rationalization of FA. Be honest with yourself - it's an affirmative action, borderline quota system to get URM into good private schools. It exists because a bunch of liberal, wealthy white parents decided to create it. If they turned off the FA tap tomorrow, populations would revert what they were in the 50's and 60's. And if another child with your identical SES applied and was white, they'd have virtually no chance of getting in.

Bzuh? Why would you think that? What a weird racist assumption.

- mom of a blue-eyed blonde child who gets 70% FA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time there is a discussion like this on DC UM, I think it misses the central point of F A. Private schools select their students based on a number of criteria. Without financial aid they could not attract the quality of students they want to have in their schools. Most private schools believe having a versus group of students including economically diverse students, benefits everyone in the school. They also want to attract students who have a lot of ability are hard-working and contribute to their communities. Also, they want to have students from variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds because it enhances the educational opportunities of the school. So they use financial aid to recruit students who help the school reach these goals. Without such students they would not be able to send so many kids to the top colleges and therefore their reputations would falter. Since it is up to them to choose their students they may use whatever criteria they choose. But most rely on a very sophisticated analysis of a family's ability to pay. That being said my families experience is that they award generous financial aid and increase it if necessary, if the student is doing exceptionally well at the school and is contributing to the school community through leadership and other activities. I believe my kids are helping their school and I am thankful but not embarrassed that they receive financial aid.

Wow, this is a pretty amazing rationalization of FA. Be honest with yourself - it's an affirmative action, borderline quota system to get URM into good private schools. It exists because a bunch of liberal, wealthy white parents decided to create it. If they turned off the FA tap tomorrow, populations would revert what they were in the 50's and 60's. And if another child with your identical SES applied and was white, they'd have virtually no chance of getting in.

So you actually think it's all of the URMs on FA? You are so misguided. #AAmomwhofullpayfortwokidsatBig3

[Anonymous]

I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

Amen. Very well put.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

Who has said that it's not a luxury good and that someone isn't helping those on FA pay for it? Not one post on here has failed to acknowledge that. If you are so sick of these threads then stop reading them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

My read on most of the kids on FA in my kids school is that they are solidly middle class, two income families who have opted out of generally good public schools based on the availability of FA. If you want to find schools really attempting to help those most abandoned by failing public schools, you need to look at the charters. Privates are not helping many kids east of the river. They are helping the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI. Not passing judgement, but let's be realistic about who is receiving the FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

My read on most of the kids on FA in my kids school is that they are solidly middle class, two income families who have opted out of generally good public schools based on the availability of FA. If you want to find schools really attempting to help those most abandoned by failing public schools, you need to look at the charters. Privates are not helping many kids east of the river. They are helping the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI. Not passing judgement, but let's be realistic about who is receiving the FA.

No disagreement with that. My question is, what's wrong with that? Private schools benefit from admitting and giving FA to solidly middle class, two family incomes. I don't know that the goal of a private school is, or has ever been, to help those most abandoned by failing public schools. I mean clearly wealthy people who send their kids to private school aren't fleeing failing public schools. The goal of most private schools that offer FA is to create a diverse learning environment. That diversity is accomplished by admitting kids of wealthy parents, kids of middle class parent and kids of lower income parents. Everyone admits that anyone who is solidly middle class more than likely cannot afford a $40K school. So the only way to attract those families is to provide some FA. It's not a full ride. Are people really gripping over someone getting 30% financial aid??? I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying in general. Perhaps what we need to move away from is this notion that the purpose of financial aid is to provide a chance for poor people...yeah, no the purpose is to make it affordable for anyone who can't afford to pay the full sticker price and that includes the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

My read on most of the kids on FA in my kids school is that they are solidly middle class, two income families who have opted out of generally good public schools based on the availability of FA. If you want to find schools really attempting to help those most abandoned by failing public schools, you need to look at the charters. Privates are not helping many kids east of the river. They are helping the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI. Not passing judgement, but let's be realistic about who is receiving the FA.

No disagreement with that. My question is, what's wrong with that? Private schools benefit from admitting and giving FA to solidly middle class, two family incomes. I don't know that the goal of a private school is, or has ever been, to help those most abandoned by failing public schools. I mean clearly wealthy people who send their kids to private school aren't fleeing failing public schools. The goal of most private schools that offer FA is to create a diverse learning environment. That diversity is accomplished by admitting kids of wealthy parents, kids of middle class parent and kids of lower income parents. Everyone admits that anyone who is solidly middle class more than likely cannot afford a $40K school. So the only way to attract those families is to provide some FA. It's not a full ride. Are people really gripping over someone getting 30% financial aid??? I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying in general. Perhaps what we need to move away from is this notion that the purpose of financial aid is to provide a chance for poor people...yeah, no the purpose is to make it affordable for anyone who can't afford to pay the full sticker price and that includes the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI.

I think this is fine theoretically, but as someone who is just a tiny bit better off (maybe) than some of the people who get FA and who lives below her means in terms of home, etc., I really balk at donating to the financial aid fund. I used to be more generous but then met people who lived in nicer homes thaN I do and who were open about getting FA. On the other hand, I do give money to support a child who is close to homeless who is going to a church related boarding school (not the secular day school my children go to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

My read on most of the kids on FA in my kids school is that they are solidly middle class, two income families who have opted out of generally good public schools based on the availability of FA. If you want to find schools really attempting to help those most abandoned by failing public schools, you need to look at the charters. Privates are not helping many kids east of the river. They are helping the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI. Not passing judgement, but let's be realistic about who is receiving the FA.

No disagreement with that. My question is, what's wrong with that? Private schools benefit from admitting and giving FA to solidly middle class, two family incomes. I don't know that the goal of a private school is, or has ever been, to help those most abandoned by failing public schools. I mean clearly wealthy people who send their kids to private school aren't fleeing failing public schools. The goal of most private schools that offer FA is to create a diverse learning environment. That diversity is accomplished by admitting kids of wealthy parents, kids of middle class parent and kids of lower income parents. Everyone admits that anyone who is solidly middle class more than likely cannot afford a $40K school. So the only way to attract those families is to provide some FA. It's not a full ride. Are people really gripping over someone getting 30% financial aid??? I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying in general. Perhaps what we need to move away from is this notion that the purpose of financial aid is to provide a chance for poor people...yeah, no the purpose is to make it affordable for anyone who can't afford to pay the full sticker price and that includes the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI.

I think this is fine theoretically, but as someone who is just a tiny bit better off (maybe) than some of the people who get FA and who lives below her means in terms of home, etc., I really balk at donating to the financial aid fund. I used to be more generous but then met people who lived in nicer homes thaN I do and who were open about getting FA. On the other hand, I do give money to support a child who is close to homeless who is going to a church related boarding school (not the secular day school my children go to).

I understand your frustration, and I think ultimately it comes down to what we all value. Personally I don't have an issue with donating to both. However, I have run across people who even balk at the idea of donating to someone who is from a poor family because they blame the family for being poor (i.e., why haven't they done better for themselves?). In the end, I think people who can afford to be the big donors probably don't really care who the money is being given to. It's those who also consider themselves who are middle class who are offended and those who just don't like FA period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have begun to absolutely hate these threads. Even as a private school parent, my head isn't so far up my own ass to recognize that what we offer our kids is truly and wonderfully a luxury good. Every poster here, who so earnestly paint a picture of how they sacrifice to pay tuition or how honestly their "need" is for a private school education. It's all BS. I don't begrudge you FA, if you want to be at my school and figure out a way to do it, good for you! But please, be honest with yourself. It's a luxury good and someone is helping you pay for it.

My read on most of the kids on FA in my kids school is that they are solidly middle class, two income families who have opted out of generally good public schools based on the availability of FA. If you want to find schools really attempting to help those most abandoned by failing public schools, you need to look at the charters. Privates are not helping many kids east of the river. They are helping the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI. Not passing judgement, but let's be realistic about who is receiving the FA.

No disagreement with that. My question is, what's wrong with that? Private schools benefit from admitting and giving FA to solidly middle class, two family incomes. I don't know that the goal of a private school is, or has ever been, to help those most abandoned by failing public schools. I mean clearly wealthy people who send their kids to private school aren't fleeing failing public schools. The goal of most private schools that offer FA is to create a diverse learning environment. That diversity is accomplished by admitting kids of wealthy parents, kids of middle class parent and kids of lower income parents. Everyone admits that anyone who is solidly middle class more than likely cannot afford a $40K school. So the only way to attract those families is to provide some FA. It's not a full ride. Are people really gripping over someone getting 30% financial aid??? I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying in general. Perhaps what we need to move away from is this notion that the purpose of financial aid is to provide a chance for poor people...yeah, no the purpose is to make it affordable for anyone who can't afford to pay the full sticker price and that includes the PP with her PhD and 250K HHI.

I think this is fine theoretically, but as someone who is just a tiny bit better off (maybe) than some of the people who get FA and who lives below her means in terms of home, etc., I really balk at donating to the financial aid fund. I used to be more generous but then met people who lived in nicer homes thaN I do and who were open about getting FA. On the other hand, I do give money to support a child who is close to homeless who is going to a church related boarding school (not the secular day school my children go to).

If you are making the FA decision, I think it's easy to put people in the Full Pay bucket and the close-to-100% FA bucket. It's the middle ground that's hard, where you could have kids with near identical objective needs but parents who take a very different approach, one working the system hard to get the most FA and another sucking up the cost. One of the PP's earlier said something about being proud of her ability to push every button possible to get her kid the most FA. I guess that's the way many things are in life, but you'd like to think FA was a little more fair than that.