Are people secretive about their FA status at your private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the school likes to have a balance between SAh and WOH and I know several families that get FA with SAH situation. I don't think families should be penalized just bc a parent decides it's best for the kids if she/he stays at home.

Exactly if a school didn't admit families with SAHMs who needed some FA who else would have time for all those volunteer activities??? The rich SAHMs don't feel obligated to volunteer -- God forbid anything interfered with their golf/tennis time or spa lunches. The SAHMs on FA feel indented and thus are eager to donate their time to keep the FA coming in.

[Anonymous]

10% is a standard discount. Nothing to get animated over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing I dislike about FA is that going to a private is very much a stretch for people on FA, and year to year they may not be back. They create a level of churn in the student body that in just not there in the full pay kids. That churn creates problems of its own - pretty steady influx of new students, activities and sports teams with holes from departed students, etc. It would be better to provide multiyear FA grants, although I can see problems that that would create as well.

Where does that happen? I thought at most privates, if you are offered FA and are a valued member of the community, they do everything they can to keep you. The only people I've known to leave were full pay who were not willing to cut their expenses more - i.e., take driving vacations instead of flying, stop eating out at restaurants frequently, forget about getting new cars, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone knows who the FA families are so just own it

No they don't. Watch it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, your donation is a tax write off. So spare me this higher than thou attitude directed at recipients of financial aid. You have to spend that money one way or another. So you can donate it to your kids school, some other charity or the IRS. No one owes you anything. You made a choice about how to spend your money.

Poors are really confused about how tax deductions work.

This is one of the most financially illiterate things I keep seeing on DCUM. Whenever I hear someone say 'It's a write off' it's a sure sign they have no clue what they are talking about.

Say you had $1000 in regular income you wanted to donate. Normally you would pay 39.6% of that money to the IRS at the highest rate, assuming of course that your deductions are not capped base on various rules. You donate $1000, and avoid paying 39.6% to the IRS. The balance, 60.4%, or $604, is what you would have had left in your hands had you not donated. So donations are not free, they in a way kinda of discounted, in that you are paying $604 for the charitable organization to get a $1000 gift.

I used fed rates just to make it simple, but state/local rates would also factor into this, and it would be different if your were donating appreciated securities.

Who said it was dollar for dollar? The point is people make large charity donations as a way to reduce their overall tax debt. So please stop with the "people just don't get it mantra." The need of people on this board to "sound" smart and attempt to prove they know more than the next person is ridiculous. I had no idea how many arrogant SOBs lived in the DMV. For this crap, I could have stayed in NYC.

You do sound like a New Yorker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be upset that I'm not poor AND was smart and savvy enough to figure out how to get financial aid for my DC.

So you steal.

Nope. To steal is to take something from someone without their knowledge or consent. I applied for FA, fully disclosed my income and responded to every single question asked of me. I did not lie. I did not hide assets. I did not under report or over report. My DC's school reviewed my application and made me an offer. I accepted. Just because I am not poor does not mean I do not have financial obligations that made me an acceptable candidate for financial aid. Like I said, you might want to take a look at that MEDIAN income chart and ask yourself exactly what does it mean to be poor before you start calling someone "poor" like its a bad word or a disgraceful thing. Check you rich (if you are even rich -- I doubt it) egotistical crap at the door.

Wow. Somewhere in the DMV, Financial Aid officers and major donors are checking the rolls to find one single Mom, transplanted from NY, with a doctorate from a top 15 university. You, my dear, have crossed a line. There are many families who would gladly take your place. And don't believe your child is that special. There are far more deserving, talented students than financial aid packages. Your ramblings embarrass me. My family has been in both positions - from full pay to financial aid. None of us know what the future may bring. Count your lucky stars and support your school, and try to be more tactful, please. DC is a very small town, and the burbs are even smaller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the school likes to have a balance between SAh and WOH and I know several families that get FA with SAH situation. I don't think families should be penalized just bc a parent decides it's best for the kids if she/he stays at home.

Exactly if a school didn't admit families with SAHMs who needed some FA who else would have time for all those volunteer activities??? The rich SAHMs don't feel obligated to volunteer -- God forbid anything interfered with their golf/tennis time or spa lunches. The SAHMs on FA feel indented and thus are eager to donate their time to keep the FA coming in.

at my school, at least 75% of the volunteers are working parents. plenty of full pay, working parents volunteer. the argument for FA is not to get volunteers -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be upset that I'm not poor AND was smart and savvy enough to figure out how to get financial aid for my DC.

So you steal.

Nope. To steal is to take something from someone without their knowledge or consent. I applied for FA, fully disclosed my income and responded to every single question asked of me. I did not lie. I did not hide assets. I did not under report or over report. My DC's school reviewed my application and made me an offer. I accepted. Just because I am not poor does not mean I do not have financial obligations that made me an acceptable candidate for financial aid. Like I said, you might want to take a look at that MEDIAN income chart and ask yourself exactly what does it mean to be poor before you start calling someone "poor" like its a bad word or a disgraceful thing. Check you rich (if you are even rich -- I doubt it) egotistical crap at the door.

Wow. Somewhere in the DMV, Financial Aid officers and major donors are checking the rolls to find one single Mom, transplanted from NY, with a doctorate from a top 15 university. You, my dear, have crossed a line. There are many families who would gladly take your place. And don't believe your child is that special. There are far more deserving, talented students than financial aid packages. Your ramblings embarrass me. My family has been in both positions - from full pay to financial aid. None of us know what the future may bring. Count your lucky stars and support your school, and try to be more tactful, please. DC is a very small town, and the burbs are even smaller.

Good luck to them figuring it out...because after all they don't have anything else to do. Yeah right. You are funny. Your wishful thinking is what should be embarrassing to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the 375k poster. There are financial issues. DH is non equity partner at Big Law. I'm SAH with 1year old. We both have big debt from undergrad and law school and bigger mortgage than we should - I am former associate at Big Law and we got house when out HHI was $500-$525.

I'm not blaming you, I blame the warped philosophy of an admissions/FA staff who thinks that your family is more deserving of aid
than the "literally" thousands and thousands of families who make less than $80k a year and would love to offer their child the opportunities afforded to your child. Your kid would probably be fine in any school, those kids....they desperately need an opportunity, any opportunity. Your law school debt that you aren't even using somehow makes you a good candidate
For aid is truly laughable.

I'm not using the law degree now bc I made a decision to stay home with my children and we can live off DH's income. I don't think I deserved to be judged for those life decisions. And it's only 10%

I'm not judging your decision to SAH. I'm judging your decision to ask for money from other people for a luxury item for your child (private school) so that you can have another luxury item for your family (not working when you could be earning at least $250K if you went back to work.) You can't live off DH's income if you can't afford what you want to buy without asking other families to pay your way. What school would award $$ in this situation? Don't they take into account the earning potential of the stay at home spouse?

Reality is that most lawyers do not make $250k, especially if they took time off to stay at home. I was big law and took 2 years off after having twins. My last year at big law, I made $160k. Now I'm back in the workforce mainly to afford private school and I'm damn lucky to be making $115k in house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the 375k poster. There are financial issues. DH is non equity partner at Big Law. I'm SAH with 1year old. We both have big debt from undergrad and law school and bigger mortgage than we should - I am former associate at Big Law and we got house when out HHI was $500-$525.

I'm not blaming you, I blame the warped philosophy of an admissions/FA staff who thinks that your family is more deserving of aid
than the "literally" thousands and thousands of families who make less than $80k a year and would love to offer their child the opportunities afforded to your child. Your kid would probably be fine in any school, those kids....they desperately need an opportunity, any opportunity. Your law school debt that you aren't even using somehow makes you a good candidate
For aid is truly laughable.

I'm not using the law degree now bc I made a decision to stay home with my children and we can live off DH's income. I don't think I deserved to be judged for those life decisions. And it's only 10%

I'm not judging your decision to SAH. I'm judging your decision to ask for money from other people for a luxury item for your child (private school) so that you can have another luxury item for your family (not working when you could be earning at least $250K if you went back to work.) You can't live off DH's income if you can't afford what you want to buy without asking other families to pay your way. What school would award $$ in this situation? Don't they take into account the earning potential of the stay at home spouse?

Reality is that most lawyers do not make $250k, especially if they took time off to stay at home. I was big law and took 2 years off after having twins. My last year at big law, I made $160k. Now I'm back in the workforce mainly to afford private school and I'm damn lucky to be making $115k in house.

I think there's a wide range of in-house salaries - but doesn't it annoy you that you're working to pay for private school, while $375K poster is staying home and getting a discount?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the 375k poster. There are financial issues. DH is non equity partner at Big Law. I'm SAH with 1year old. We both have big debt from undergrad and law school and bigger mortgage than we should - I am former associate at Big Law and we got house when out HHI was $500-$525.

I'm not blaming you, I blame the warped philosophy of an admissions/FA staff who thinks that your family is more deserving of aid
than the "literally" thousands and thousands of families who make less than $80k a year and would love to offer their child the opportunities afforded to your child. Your kid would probably be fine in any school, those kids....they desperately need an opportunity, any opportunity. Your law school debt that you aren't even using somehow makes you a good candidate
For aid is truly laughable.

I'm not using the law degree now bc I made a decision to stay home with my children and we can live off DH's income. I don't think I deserved to be judged for those life decisions. And it's only 10%

I'm not judging your decision to SAH. I'm judging your decision to ask for money from other people for a luxury item for your child (private school) so that you can have another luxury item for your family (not working when you could be earning at least $250K if you went back to work.) You can't live off DH's income if you can't afford what you want to buy without asking other families to pay your way. What school would award $$ in this situation? Don't they take into account the earning potential of the stay at home spouse?

Reality is that most lawyers do not make $250k, especially if they took time off to stay at home. I was big law and took 2 years off after having twins. My last year at big law, I made $160k. Now I'm back in the workforce mainly to afford private school and I'm damn lucky to be making $115k in house.

I think there's a wide range of in-house salaries - but doesn't it annoy you that you're working to pay for private school, while $375K poster is staying home and getting a discount?

I think this thread should close. OP got her answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the 375k poster. There are financial issues. DH is non equity partner at Big Law. I'm SAH with 1year old. We both have big debt from undergrad and law school and bigger mortgage than we should - I am former associate at Big Law and we got house when out HHI was $500-$525.

I'm not blaming you, I blame the warped philosophy of an admissions/FA staff who thinks that your family is more deserving of aid
than the "literally" thousands and thousands of families who make less than $80k a year and would love to offer their child the opportunities afforded to your child. Your kid would probably be fine in any school, those kids....they desperately need an opportunity, any opportunity. Your law school debt that you aren't even using somehow makes you a good candidate
For aid is truly laughable.

I'm not using the law degree now bc I made a decision to stay home with my children and we can live off DH's income. I don't think I deserved to be judged for those life decisions. And it's only 10%

I'm not judging your decision to SAH. I'm judging your decision to ask for money from other people for a luxury item for your child (private school) so that you can have another luxury item for your family (not working when you could be earning at least $250K if you went back to work.) You can't live off DH's income if you can't afford what you want to buy without asking other families to pay your way. What school would award $$ in this situation? Don't they take into account the earning potential of the stay at home spouse?

Reality is that most lawyers do not make $250k, especially if they took time off to stay at home. I was big law and took 2 years off after having twins. My last year at big law, I made $160k. Now I'm back in the workforce mainly to afford private school and I'm damn lucky to be making $115k in house.

I think there's a wide range of in-house salaries - but doesn't it annoy you that you're working to pay for private school, while $375K poster is staying home and getting a discount?

I think this thread should close. OP got her answer.

So it should be closed because you think so? It's still very relevant and provides some good insight to those considering applying for FA. It should not be closed.