What makes kids so expensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Childless/childfree person here. We've been on the fence in the past about kids, and the biggest barrier is the childcare costs. They're enormous in this region.

You say you work at home, but you will still need childcare. How are you going to watch a toddler and work at the same time? It's something I've never understood when people say they're going to work at home to take care of their kids. That seems fine once your kids are old enough to take care of themselves or maybe even when they are little babies and not yet mobile. But I don't get how a person gets 8 hours of actual work done a day at home while watching a 1.5 year old. Unless they plant the kid in a playpen and just leave him there all day.

Exactly. You may not have kids of your own but you obviously have some experience with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Hmm. Well, our net worth is about $1.5 million, so I'm pretty sure we could afford it, if that's what we thought was important. I still fail to understand why you think that it's appropriate to say "only $95k". As far as I'm concerned $95k is a very good salary. Somehow your world view is skewed and you are of the opinion that $95k is "poor". It's not. We're certainly not "making do", we're just not spending money unnecessarily. What kids really need is love and attention and interest from their parents, particularly when they are young. Sending them to violin or piano lessons when they are 5, or ice skating or whatever else you spend your money on, is no more likely to get them into Harvard than our approach -- reading to them, listening to them, playing with them, taking them to museums, on hikes, to the beach, to music concerts, camping, playing outdoors with friends, climbing trees and BEING KIDS.

I feel it's appropriate to say "only $95K" because that's not enough for me. There are no "appropriate" or "not appropriate" rules about it. If it's not enough for a person, it's not enough.

You're setting up a false dichotomy where sending kids to activities and spending time with them are polar opposites. They aren't. Seeing a child through years of rigorous training in their chosen pursuit takes a massive amount of parental time and involvement.

I wasn't much for the outdoors, anyway, never climbed a tree, never went camping, couldn't pay me to do that. There's more than one type of kid out there. I cherish the schooling I had that my parents had the resources and energy to arrange for me. You make it sound like there's one way to love a child or pay attention to them - your way - and that's bullshit.

[Anonymous]

PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Really? My parents spent time with me instead of money. Lots family activities and events all through my childhood. I am very grateful I had that experience instead of them throwing money at some activity I only moderately liked, or worse still, being pushy about my cultural pursuits.

Moderately liked? Being pushy? You made that part up to suit your story. Nothing new.

I am deeply grateful, though, for my pushy parents. Without them I'd be living a mediocre, low-income life in a dead-end country. Pushy parents are the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

And you, my dear, represent everything that is wrong with this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

And you, my dear, represent everything that is wrong with this world.

Do explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

+1 The OP is reeking of smugness. Besides net worth is not income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

I'm a director at a large membership based non profit, with an international reputation. I run a small department. I don't know much about what my friends and peers make but I do know that my brother who is also director level at a non profit of a similar size and reputation, though in a completely different field has a very similar salary.



I guess we should both let our bosses know that our salaries are "pathetic".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

And you, my dear, represent everything that is wrong with this world.

Do explain.

You really have no idea? Let's start with the fact that the average household income in the United States is $50k. But you think that it's ok to come here and boast that you spend $10k on vacations a year as if that's something to boast about and that you think that a family with an income of twice the national average is "pathetic".

No, you are pathetic. I hope that your pathetic selves lose your pathetic jobs and you gain a sense of perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

And you, my dear, represent everything that is wrong with this world.

Do explain.

You really have no idea? Let's start with the fact that the average household income in the United States is $50k. But you think that it's ok to come here and boast that you spend $10k on vacations a year as if that's something to boast about and that you think that a family with an income of twice the national average is "pathetic".

No, you are pathetic. I hope that your pathetic selves lose your pathetic jobs and you gain a sense of perspective.

NP. I don't agree with wishing anyone bad fortune, but I do agree with the rest of pp's post. You are hopelessly out of touch. And I earn about the same as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

And you, my dear, represent everything that is wrong with this world.

Do explain.

You really have no idea? Let's start with the fact that the average household income in the United States is $50k. But you think that it's ok to come here and boast that you spend $10k on vacations a year as if that's something to boast about and that you think that a family with an income of twice the national average is "pathetic".

No, you are pathetic. I hope that your pathetic selves lose your pathetic jobs and you gain a sense of perspective.

You don't live in an area with an average cost of living or cost of housing. If it's OK for you to call people freaking nutty Stepford wives and claim that you are superior, then I think the label of pathetic for you is more than deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS: If your net worth is $1.5 million AND both you and your DH work in low-income, low-pressure jobs, then your money clearly doesn't come from your efforts. Perhaps you were lucky to buy a property in DC pre-bubble. Perhaps your family kicks in the money. No one builds up $1.5 million from not making money.

$95k per year is NOT low income. (Seriously, what planet do you live on??!)

NP here, 95k is not much at all and I don't even live in dc.
If TWO people are working to make a total of 95k it's pathetic.
We spend 10 k on travel annually.
We make 250k and I don't feel well off at all, plus in only work part time.

And you, my dear, represent everything that is wrong with this world.

Do explain.

You really have no idea? Let's start with the fact that the average household income in the United States is $50k. But you think that it's ok to come here and boast that you spend $10k on vacations a year as if that's something to boast about and that you think that a family with an income of twice the national average is "pathetic".

No, you are pathetic. I hope that your pathetic selves lose your pathetic jobs and you gain a sense of perspective.

You don't live in an area with an average cost of living or cost of housing. If it's OK for you to call people freaking nutty Stepford wives and claim that you are superior, then I think the label of pathetic for you is more than deserved.

There are several people posting on this thread.

I'm sorry, I didn't specifically reference the DC median household income. I just checked - it's $63k per the census. Is that better? My point still stands. The average is $63k - ergo it is desperately out of touch and, frankly, offensive, when you state that $95k is "pathetic". You need to better understand just how fortunate you are and how the rest of the country, and indeed the word, lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Do you believe the approach is an either/or: either activities or reading, hikes, playing outdoors with friends, camping, to the beach, to museums, etc? If so, you have no idea what you're talking about. Get off your high horse. My kids are in a boatload of activities. They also play with neighborhood kids in the cul de sac 5-7 days/week, read a tremendous amount, camp, hike, travel, go to the beach (we own a beach home), etc. This isn't about Harvard. It is about finding a passion and following it.

Of course you do! "Kids are so expensive, we had to buy a 5 bedroom beach house, but if it was just DH and I, we would have only needed 3 bedrooms." What next? "Kids are so expensive, we decided that we were spending so much money on airfare that we bought a private jet. If we didn't have kids we'd have SO much more money to spend on designer clothes, weekends in the Caribbean and eating at 5 star restaurants."