What makes kids so expensive?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure I'll be flamed for being incredibly naive, but an honest practical answer would be really appreciated!!

Everyone says kids are incredibly expensive, but can you tell me where these costs come in? We have a very decent HHI so I'm not worried if it is as expensive as people say, but I'm having trouble seeing where all the money goes. Some basics... we believe strongly in public schools and universities. We'll have a 529 and strongly encourage DCs to attend a state university, unless they have significant scholarships elsewhere. We won't send them to private schools for elementary/high school unless there is a REALLY special circumstance, which I'm aware could happen, but let's assume for this conversation there will be no private tuition bills.

I work from home now and have very flexible hours, I'll probably drop some work once we have kids to be part-time and able to spend more time with the kids. My in-laws live 45 minutes away and are desperate for grandchildren and will be a good source of child care. We might hire a part-time nanny for 2-3 days a week.

So, aside from tuition and child care, what are the major expenses? Food? Activities? Diapers? I know little things add up but I'm having trouble seeing how these things can amount to a significant burden.... Please open my eyes! How much do you spend per month, minus tuition and child care?

[Anonymous]

They eat a lot and activities are expensive. Clothes. Sports equipment they outgrow...

Maybe your idea of 'significant burden' is different than that of the average DMV resident.

[Anonymous]

If you have 2 working parents, childcare costs never go away. Daycare at 2K a month for infant care, it drops a little for a preschooler, all of the care costs w for when school is out.

Hopefully your children are healthly and do not need services of any type. Of they do, you will cut your hours so that you can take them to the appointments /specialists.

You no longer have all the unlimited hours in the day to do what you need to do so you pay a premium because of convience. Maybe you do peapod istead of going to the grocery store.

Someone is the default parent and you can not be as responsive to work as you used to be. You are taking off for snow days, snow delays, child sick, drs appts. and your reviews / growth trajectory is not the same as it was.

Kids shoes are not cheap! My children have foot problems so I they do not wear target / payless shoes. Striderites are $50+ for a pair of sneakers. Imagine your clothing budget - double it for what you will need to purchase for your kids. And they grow so they need new rainboots / snow boots every year. Kids Uggs are close to the same price of adult Uggs in case you think you wnt to buy the real things.

[Anonymous]

Childcare is a big expense, either paying for it or choosing to have one parent stay home or reduce hours/pay. Food (and formula and diapers, disposable or cloth) are not insignificant. And clothes are never ending.

Buying/renting a larger place is a huge expense. Most people get a TH/SFH instead of a studio apartment, when they have kids. Getting a TH/SFH in a good/excellent school district is even more expensive.

As the children get older, vacation gets expensive, with additional plane tickets.

Most intangible is the increased stress and loss of time, for healthy eating, exercise, down time, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think you are right about the two big expenses, childcare and tuition. If your job is flexible it's much easier. Formula and diapers are expensive, but soon enough they move into regular food.

You can get by with minimal gadgets, but there is probably at least $1,000 in cribs, strollers and car seats you'll need. Baby showers will get you a good head start on things. As they grow, there are activities. We are spending about $1,500 on summer camps for our child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you are right about the two big expenses, childcare and tuition. If your job is flexible it's much easier. Formula and diapers are expensive, but soon enough they move into regular food.

You can get by with minimal gadgets, but there is probably at least $1,000 in cribs, strollers and car seats you'll need. Baby showers will get you a good head start on things. As they grow, there are activities. We are spending about $1,500 on summer camps for our child.

For summer camps if you need before and aftercare you can easily drop $500 - $700 a week.

[Anonymous]

For most people, the biggest chunk will be daycare + aftercare + camp + orthodontics + activities + college.

The smaller things that add up are also obvious: food, clothes, shoes, diapers--the same things you need, minus the diapers (hopefully). Then there's the other baby crap--cribs, bouncy seats, car seats, toys, etc. And the older the kid, the more expensive the toys. Then you have birthdays and Christmas and allowance and tooth fairies, not to mention all those other kids' birthday parties you're going to.

All multiplied by however many kids you have.

If you don't have to worry about childcare ever, then you have a lower financial burden. But clearly kids are expensive when you add it all up over time.

[Anonymous]

The trappings of middle class childhood (orthodontia, tutors, preschool, extracurriculars) are expensive. You could forego them, feed your kids cheap food, dress them in handmedowns, etc and save at least several thousand a year. I had none of the things DCUM thinks are essential to success (my parents couldn't afford them), still went to college, and have a professional career.

[Anonymous]

You'll see, OP. You'll see. The (emotional) rewards are great. The financial drain is substantial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure I'll be flamed for being incredibly naive, but an honest practical answer would be really appreciated!!

Everyone says kids are incredibly expensive, but can you tell me where these costs come in? We have a very decent HHI so I'm not worried if it is as expensive as people say, but I'm having trouble seeing where all the money goes. Some basics... we believe strongly in public schools and universities. We'll have a 529 and strongly encourage DCs to attend a state university, unless they have significant scholarships elsewhere. We won't send them to private schools for elementary/high school unless there is a REALLY special circumstance, which I'm aware could happen, but let's assume for this conversation there will be no private tuition bills.

I work from home now and have very flexible hours, I'll probably drop some work once we have kids to be part-time and able to spend more time with the kids. My in-laws live 45 minutes away and are desperate for grandchildren and will be a good source of child care. We might hire a part-time nanny for 2-3 days a week.

So, aside from tuition and child care, what are the major expenses? Food? Activities? Diapers? I know little things add up but I'm having trouble seeing how these things can amount to a significant burden.... Please open my eyes! How much do you spend per month, minus tuition and child care?

Id say childcare is the biggest. I pay over 3k a month for two kids right now. If I had free childcare through grandparents, that would huge.

[Anonymous]

Childcare (day care, nanny, after care, before care, etc)
Activities (even from toddlerhood-- soccer, art, music-- can be $100 for 6-8 weeks).



Shoes-- they need new shoes multiple times a year and "nice" ones are not cheap. Keens, Stride Ride, etc can be $50 a pair (although you can find on sale).
Coats-- new one every year unless you can get hand-me-downs.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone! Very helpful. I had forgotten about orthodontics!

[Anonymous]

The unknowns. I use to not get it either OP. I just thought I would use public schools, free sports, hand me downs, etc etc. You can do all that BUT there is so.much.unknown. Here are some things we have been thrown with my kids:

1.) One son was born with a unique eye disordered. We had to fly to Akron Ohio 5 times in the first 2 years of his life for multiple surgeries and paid out of pocket for various therapies. All said and done with medical expenses (we have great insurance to BTW), travel, hotel, therapies, etc was about 20k when all said and done.
2.) We had another child who needed speech therapy for about 2 years= 8k out of pocket
3.) Braces!! I always tell parents "brace yourself for braces"= 3 kids will cost us about 20k.


These are just a few of the random unpredictable expenses of children. I know some people consider braces optional but in my opinion if its within your realm of capabilities you owe your kids nice teeth.

[Anonymous]

Childcare, as everyone has said. But it goes into the teen years, too, in the form of keeping kids engaged and not idle. Camps, classes, hobbies, sports, music lessons. Enrichment opportunities.

And personally, I love travel. I don't do it as much as all the high HHI folks here, do, but it is a big expense in our lives, and I view it as part of a well-rounded childhood. I'm not talking Europe every summer, either. Williamsburg, the Arches in Utah, Grand Canyon, the Oregon coast, Chicago, Montreal and Toronto. Give them an idea of the larger world out there. And that costs $$.

[Anonymous]

Oh yeah. Extra plane tickets if you fly anywhere.