Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If most South Asians know that money is most appreciated, then why is "no boxed gifts" on the invitation in the first place? For the (typically much smaller number of) non-South Asians who are invited?

Bingo!

It is because South Asians - at least in the US - don't typically give cash as a wedding gift. The "no boxed gifts" is telling them to give cash because it is unlikely that they will want to attend the wedding and not give any gift.

The PP who said she paid off her college loans pretty much admitted that the motivation was to get money through the wedding invite.

"No boxed gifts" is the oddest phrase ever. At the first few south Asian weddings I attended, I really did take my gift out of the box and bring it in a gift bag. I thought that's what they wanted.

[Anonymous]

I am a South Asian and have attended numerous marriages where one or both parties were South Asian and I can tell you categorically that I have never yet encountered a single invite asking for cash from the guests. Now admittedly, these were people who were either born in the US or had spent their formative years here.

I think it is utterly crass to be asking for money from guests and I don't understand how anyone can defend it. Having said this, it is not unusual especially for close family members to give money to the couple but it is not something the couple would ask for or expect and least of all include in an invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the south it is considered tacky to give money as a gift.

No it's not.
-from the south and had many family friends of "old money" share the wealth a bit at our wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a South Asian and have attended numerous marriages where one or both parties were South Asian and I can tell you categorically that I have never yet encountered a single invite asking for cash from the guests. Now admittedly, these were people who were either born in the US or had spent their formative years here.

I think it is utterly crass to be asking for money from guests and I don't understand how anyone can defend it. Having said this, it is not unusual especially for close family members to give money to the couple but it is not something the couple would ask for or expect and least of all include in an invitation.

+1

Many cultures give money as gifts. No culture I know of explicits asks for money as gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the south it is considered tacky to give money as a gift.

No it's not.
-from the south and had many family friends of "old money" share the wealth a bit at our wedding

I'm with the PP. The nicest gifts in the south are a place setting of fine china or sterling. Cash is not a proper gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Hmm! Like you are expected to shell out enough to pay for your own dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Yes, because the non-boxed-gift is really an admission fee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Hmm! Like you are expected to shell out enough to pay for your own dinner?

Unwritten rule apparently. Your gift should equal the cost of your dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Hmm! Like you are expected to shell out enough to pay for your own dinner?

Unwritten rule apparently. Your gift should equal the cost of your dinner.

Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Almost all of the wedding-related problems that crop up so frequently here could be avoided by only inviting people who really care about you to your wedding. If they really belong at your wedding, they won't bat an eye at your request for no kids, no gifts, no boxed gifts, only boxed gifts, polka-dot attire, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Hmm! Like you are expected to shell out enough to pay for your own dinner?

Unwritten rule apparently. Your gift should equal the cost of your dinner.

Unwritten rule among mercenary types. And New Yorkers.

Because who needs gifts when you can charge an admission fee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the south it is considered tacky to give money as a gift.

No it's not.
-from the south and had many family friends of "old money" share the wealth a bit at our wedding

I'm with the PP. The nicest gifts in the south are a place setting of fine china or sterling. Cash is not a proper gift.

So they can use the China once? Then inherit a set from each side of the family? What a waste. A check for $250 now will go far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Hmm! Like you are expected to shell out enough to pay for your own dinner?

Unwritten rule apparently. Your gift should equal the cost of your dinner.

Unwritten rule among mercenary types. And New Yorkers.

Because who needs gifts when you can charge an admission fee?

I have always given enough cash to cover my and my guests meal. Standard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a wedding and the invitation states "No Boxed Gifts". There is no registry either and so I am wondering what the expectation is when it comes to any gift. Are they asking for money or a gift card?

Has anyone experienced this before and, if so, what is an invited guest expected to do?

If you like the couple and expect to see them again, give them enough cash to cover your expenses (dinner, etc). Of not, decline invite.

Hmm! Like you are expected to shell out enough to pay for your own dinner?

Unwritten rule apparently. Your gift should equal the cost of your dinner.

Unwritten rule among mercenary types. And New Yorkers.

Because who needs gifts when you can charge an admission fee?

I have always given enough cash to cover my and my guests meal. Standard.

So, is the gift meant to help pay for the wedding? And should one take into consideration the lavishness of the wedding before deciding what to write in the amount box in the check?