Husband received hickey from stripper

[Anonymous]

My DH came home from a business trip with bruises all over his back/shoulder area. Not bruises really but friction marks. Like finger marks. He has skin that bruises easily. He also was acting distant and strange and when I asked about the marks, he said it was from carrying a heavy bag around. (On both sides?) I asked about it on here and was told I was a nut case for assuming DH had an affair. You can't win with these women. Lets just say DH has never had another incident of shoulder bruises since then, and he has carried plenty of heavy bags. I have paid attention. He was also asking about our old stash of condoms just before the trip. "Umm ha ha but what did you do with those old condoms, ha ha". I was like WTF? He of course says I am crazy for thinking he would cheat. Women have intuition OP. You know what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH came home from a business trip with bruises all over his back/shoulder area. Not bruises really but friction marks. Like finger marks. He has skin that bruises easily. He also was acting distant and strange and when I asked about the marks, he said it was from carrying a heavy bag around. (On both sides?) I asked about it on here and was told I was a nut case for assuming DH had an affair. You can't win with these women. Lets just say DH has never had another incident of shoulder bruises since then, and he has carried plenty of heavy bags. I have paid attention. He was also asking about our old stash of condoms just before the trip. "Umm ha ha but what did you do with those old condoms, ha ha". I was like WTF? He of course says I am crazy for thinking he would cheat. Women have intuition OP. You know what happened.

Wow, a cheater AND too cheap to buy new condoms. I'm sorry, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strippers and prostitutes DO NOT leave hickies. Period. They also do not wear perfume or scented products of any sort. Why? It will kill your source of income when they are found by the spouse or girlfriend. This is ground rule number one.

Uh huh. Strippers don't bathe in perfume and there is never, ever any glitter transfer. Guys don't go to strip clubs, they just stop by Michael's for some late night crafting.

The "strippers never leave evidence" crowd has zero credibility. It's a strip club, not a season finale of CSI.

[Anonymous]

a lot of you "never been to a strip club and basing all my views on what i see and hear on tv" mother fuckers just need to shut up with what you think.

this isnt striptease.

if you never been to a noody bar and/or using knowledge obtained by your sensationalized story telling friend, go sit in the corner.

the only thing you are right about is that strippers dont give hickeys. all this other shit you talking about damn near makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a lot of you "never been to a strip club and basing all my views on what i see and hear on tv" mother fuckers just need to shut up with what you think.

this isnt striptease.

if you never been to a noody bar and/or using knowledge obtained by your sensationalized story telling friend, go sit in the corner.

the only thing you are right about is that strippers dont give hickeys. all this other shit you talking about damn near makes no sense.

Again, this time in English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a lot of you "never been to a strip club and basing all my views on what i see and hear on tv" mother fuckers just need to shut up with what you think.

this isnt striptease.

if you never been to a noody bar and/or using knowledge obtained by your sensationalized story telling friend, go sit in the corner.

the only thing you are right about is that strippers dont give hickeys. all this other shit you talking about damn near makes no sense.

Again, this time in English.

you got what i said and you looking for entertainment.

first line: if you have never been to a strip club, refrain from opining on the issue of what goes on in that establishment.
line two: we are not discussing the movie striptease which you are probably using as your frame of reference to make your points
line three: the only accurate statement you are making is that strippers dont give hickeys. everything else you are saying is based on your friends account of what they have seen at a strip club and even that story could be exaggerated.

have i proven to you that i can write english mother fucker or did i not put a period or comma somewhere that your extra special smart ass wants to point out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a lot of you "never been to a strip club and basing all my views on what i see and hear on tv" mother fuckers just need to shut up with what you think.

this isnt striptease.

if you never been to a noody bar and/or using knowledge obtained by your sensationalized story telling friend, go sit in the corner.

the only thing you are right about is that strippers dont give hickeys. all this other shit you talking about damn near makes no sense.

Again, this time in English.

you got what i said and you looking for entertainment.

first line: if you have never been to a strip club, refrain from opining on the issue of what goes on in that establishment.
line two: we are not discussing the movie striptease which you are probably using as your frame of reference to make your points
line three: the only accurate statement you are making is that strippers dont give hickeys. everything else you are saying is based on your friends account of what they have seen at a strip club and even that story could be exaggerated.

have i proven to you that i can write english mother fucker or did i not put a period or comma somewhere that your extra special smart ass wants to point out?

Once More, with Feeling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:first line: if you have never been to a strip club, refrain from opining on the issue of what goes on in that establishment.
line two: we are not discussing the movie striptease which you are probably using as your frame of reference to make your points
line three: the only accurate statement you are making is that strippers dont give hickeys. everything else you are saying is based on your friends account of what they have seen at a strip club and even that story could be exaggerated.

have i proven to you that i can write english mother fucker or did i not put a period or comma somewhere that your extra special smart ass wants to point out?

The sentence after "line two" needs a period.

[Anonymous]

touche 1030

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a lot of you "never been to a strip club and basing all my views on what i see and hear on tv" mother fuckers just need to shut up with what you think.

this isnt striptease.

if you never been to a noody bar and/or using knowledge obtained by your sensationalized story telling friend, go sit in the corner.

the only thing you are right about is that strippers dont give hickeys. all this other shit you talking about damn near makes no sense.

So ... why not give us the "real deal"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH came home from a business trip with bruises all over his back/shoulder area. Not bruises really but friction marks. Like finger marks. He has skin that bruises easily. He also was acting distant and strange and when I asked about the marks, he said it was from carrying a heavy bag around. (On both sides?) I asked about it on here and was told I was a nut case for assuming DH had an affair. You can't win with these women. Lets just say DH has never had another incident of shoulder bruises since then, and he has carried plenty of heavy bags. I have paid attention. He was also asking about our old stash of condoms just before the trip. "Umm ha ha but what did you do with those old condoms, ha ha". I was like WTF? He of course says I am crazy for thinking he would cheat. Women have intuition OP. You know what happened.

Absolutely! Intuition is very real. Like all of those women that "just know" their child is seriously ill even when they are told it's nothing. If those marks were significant to you, you were right to be suspicious and to do exactly what you did.

[Anonymous]

The thing that makes me think he wasn't up to no good is the bit about asking about the old condoms. They are easily available and not that expensive. Asking your wife for them so you can cheat just seems too stupid for words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a lot of you "never been to a strip club and basing all my views on what i see and hear on tv" mother fuckers just need to shut up with what you think.

this isnt striptease.

if you never been to a noody bar and/or using knowledge obtained by your sensationalized story telling friend, go sit in the corner.

the only thing you are right about is that strippers dont give hickeys. all this other shit you talking about damn near makes no sense.

Again, this time in English.

you got what i said and you looking for entertainment.

first line: if you have never been to a strip club, refrain from opining on the issue of what goes on in that establishment.
line two: we are not discussing the movie striptease which you are probably using as your frame of reference to make your points
line three: the only accurate statement you are making is that strippers dont give hickeys. everything else you are saying is based on your friends account of what they have seen at a strip club and even that story could be exaggerated.

have i proven to you that i can write english mother fucker or did i not put a period or comma somewhere that your extra special smart ass wants to point out?

There is a lot of missing punctuation, fragmented sentences, and capitalization issues. The most egregious offense is in the incorrect usage of "you" in the first line…and of course your incoherent ramblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strippers and prostitutes DO NOT leave hickies. Period. They also do not wear perfume or scented products of any sort. Why? It will kill your source of income when they are found by the spouse or girlfriend. This is ground rule number one.

Uh huh. Strippers don't bathe in perfume and there is never, ever any glitter transfer. Guys don't go to strip clubs, they just stop by Michael's for some late night crafting.

The "strippers never leave evidence" crowd has zero credibility. It's a strip club, not a season finale of CSI.

You are so funny! I loved that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strippers and prostitutes DO NOT leave hickies. Period. They also do not wear perfume or scented products of any sort. Why? It will kill your source of income when they are found by the spouse or girlfriend. This is ground rule number one.

Uh huh. Strippers don't bathe in perfume and there is never, ever any glitter transfer. Guys don't go to strip clubs, they just stop by Michael's for some late night crafting.

The "strippers never leave evidence" crowd has zero credibility. It's a strip club, not a season finale of CSI.

Zero credibility? Okay, give up some proof that strippers give hickies.