First sleep over for my daughter, and the mom was drinking wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the people who obje t to the drinking, does this mean you don't drink unless your spouse abstaIns?

Yes, I pretty much gave up drinking when I had kids. I used to have a couple drinks when my dh said he wouldn't drink. But he just can't NOT drink when I'm drinking. So now I just don't drink unless I'm out of town, but even then....what ifs just haunt me.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I will VERY RARELY have A GLASS of wine after DD is in bed, but if it's any more of us, than only one of us will drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a good laugh about you people who think drinking a glass of wine while supervising children is a crisis. I was at a kids birthday party today, plenty of kids who were just in peril clearly because there were a few people having wine and beer. I declined because I wasn't in the mood and had bought a soda, but really, people. Honestly, a glass of wine, people. In my social circle, the OP's experience is totally normal. We all get along and get to know each other and each other's kids. It's such a relief that I know my kids' friends and their parents so well. I feel bad that the OP is so ?busy? narrow-minded? whatever that she can't be bothered to have a glass of wine or water or soda or whatever with her kid's friend's parent. People seriously need to loosen up.

Signed, a person who will occasionally have a drink or 2 and occasionally pass it up, because I have a, you know, completely normal relationship with alcohol. I know y'all don't live in my neighborhood because we're not all worked up where I live. Have fun in the 'burbs, people.

I was soooooooo with you until the "burbs" barb. I'm in Bethesda. My social circle has the same stance on alcohol as yours does. Please don't stoop so low as to now make this a city vs. suburbs thing. I used to live in the city and my burb friends are no different than my city friends...except we have an easier time parking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If one drink incapacitates you, you have bigger problems.

I am in no way "incapacitated" by one glass of wine. But depending on the size of the glass, I will be lightly buzzed. I would be crapping my pants if I were pulled over within an hour after having a glass of wine. This is the thing...do you really know how alcohol effects everyone? Some alcoholics can drink an incredible amount of alcohol and show no impairment whatsoever. But does that mean its ok for them to drink more?

[Anonymous]

There are various types of people here. It's not anti-drinkers vs. drinkers here.

I posted earlier. I like wine quite a bit and if my best friend was watching my child, I'd be just fine with her having a glass of wine. However, if my child was invited to a classmate's birthday party sleepover and the parents were drinking wine, I'm not sure I would be as confident, as many of you are, that the parent was only going to have one glass of wine. What's more, if I personally were hosting children who were not my own, I simply wouldn't drink. While I personally feel pretty relaxed about alcohol, some people don't.

This thread, nonetheless, is incredibly valuable. I had no idea that so many parents were so casual about caring for other people's children. If you invite children to your home, put away the wine glass for a single night. It's not that hard. You can drink wine every other night. I'm not judging anyone for their wine intake, nor do I assume that someone is going to binge if I see them drink one glass. However, if it's someone I don't know very well, how do I, or any of you, know that they will, indeed stop at one? It's easy for you all to say that when it's not your child, but if your kid was at a classmate's house, and you felt awkward about the drinking, would you say "oh, you're just going to have one, right?" Or would you just assume it? The thing is, some people assume that somebody watching their child won't have ANY wine. So if that person shouldn't assume no alcohol, you shouldn't assume 1 or 2 glasses. You shouldn't assume anything. It SHOULD be a given that if you host a sleepover, you won't be drinking. But sadly, it's not. And by the way, this has nothing to do with being incapacitated or performing CPR, in my view. It's just that some people do not want their children around a person who has been drinking.

Seriously thinking that many of you have alcohol issues. Denial and hanging around a bunch of other people whose drinking is as bad or worse than yours (so your behavior seems ordinary) can be a sign. I like wine as much as anyone, but I don't drink every night. Anyone who does should think twice about the role alcohol is playing in their lives. What's so hard about real life that you need a drink in your hand all the time? real life is actually pretty awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the people who obje t to the drinking, does this mean you don't drink unless your spouse abstaIns?

Yes, I pretty much gave up drinking when I had kids. I used to have a couple drinks when my dh said he wouldn't drink. But he just can't NOT drink when I'm drinking. So now I just don't drink unless I'm out of town, but even then....what ifs just haunt me.

What Ifs haunt you? So sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are various types of people here. It's not anti-drinkers vs. drinkers here.

I posted earlier. I like wine quite a bit and if my best friend was watching my child, I'd be just fine with her having a glass of wine. However, if my child was invited to a classmate's birthday party sleepover and the parents were drinking wine, I'm not sure I would be as confident, as many of you are, that the parent was only going to have one glass of wine. What's more, if I personally were hosting children who were not my own, I simply wouldn't drink. While I personally feel pretty relaxed about alcohol, some people don't.

This thread, nonetheless, is incredibly valuable. I had no idea that so many parents were so casual about caring for other people's children. If you invite children to your home, put away the wine glass for a single night. It's not that hard. You can drink wine every other night. I'm not judging anyone for their wine intake, nor do I assume that someone is going to binge if I see them drink one glass. However, if it's someone I don't know very well, how do I, or any of you, know that they will, indeed stop at one? It's easy for you all to say that when it's not your child, but if your kid was at a classmate's house, and you felt awkward about the drinking, would you say "oh, you're just going to have one, right?" Or would you just assume it? The thing is, some people assume that somebody watching their child won't have ANY wine. So if that person shouldn't assume no alcohol, you shouldn't assume 1 or 2 glasses. You shouldn't assume anything. It SHOULD be a given that if you host a sleepover, you won't be drinking. But sadly, it's not. And by the way, this has nothing to do with being incapacitated or performing CPR, in my view. It's just that some people do not want their children around a person who has been drinking.

Seriously thinking that many of you have alcohol issues. Denial and hanging around a bunch of other people whose drinking is as bad or worse than yours (so your behavior seems ordinary) can be a sign. I like wine as much as anyone, but I don't drink every night. Anyone who does should think twice about the role alcohol is playing in their lives. What's so hard about real life that you need a drink in your hand all the time? real life is actually pretty awesome.

IMHO, you've written the most credible, perceptive post of this thread. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Agree with the 2 PPs. I don't drink all that much since I've had kids and not much at all around the kids. I am the only driving adult in our house and worry that I may need to drive somewhere if a DC gets sick, etc. I just don't have the same taste for it or enjoyment of it. The next day I feel tired. If I were the OP I would have left my kid but I would not have been thrilled about the mom drinking. I think some people are so used to alcohol being part of their night and/or socializing that they get defensive when folks say that they don't drink. Ideally kids would be supervised by sober people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are various types of people here. It's not anti-drinkers vs. drinkers here.

I posted earlier. I like wine quite a bit and if my best friend was watching my child, I'd be just fine with her having a glass of wine. However, if my child was invited to a classmate's birthday party sleepover and the parents were drinking wine, I'm not sure I would be as confident, as many of you are, that the parent was only going to have one glass of wine. What's more, if I personally were hosting children who were not my own, I simply wouldn't drink. While I personally feel pretty relaxed about alcohol, some people don't.

This thread, nonetheless, is incredibly valuable. I had no idea that so many parents were so casual about caring for other people's children. If you invite children to your home, put away the wine glass for a single night. It's not that hard. You can drink wine every other night. I'm not judging anyone for their wine intake, nor do I assume that someone is going to binge if I see them drink one glass. However, if it's someone I don't know very well, how do I, or any of you, know that they will, indeed stop at one? It's easy for you all to say that when it's not your child, but if your kid was at a classmate's house, and you felt awkward about the drinking, would you say "oh, you're just going to have one, right?" Or would you just assume it? The thing is, some people assume that somebody watching their child won't have ANY wine. So if that person shouldn't assume no alcohol, you shouldn't assume 1 or 2 glasses. You shouldn't assume anything. It SHOULD be a given that if you host a sleepover, you won't be drinking. But sadly, it's not. And by the way, this has nothing to do with being incapacitated or performing CPR, in my view. It's just that some people do not want their children around a person who has been drinking.

Seriously thinking that many of you have alcohol issues. Denial and hanging around a bunch of other people whose drinking is as bad or worse than yours (so your behavior seems ordinary) can be a sign. I like wine as much as anyone, but I don't drink every night. Anyone who does should think twice about the role alcohol is playing in their lives. What's so hard about real life that you need a drink in your hand all the time? real life is actually pretty awesome.

THIS. And based on the length of this thread, NOT thinking that the GS post was a joke at all.

Hope your kid goes to my kid's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a good laugh about you people who think drinking a glass of wine while supervising children is a crisis. I was at a kids birthday party today, plenty of kids who were just in peril clearly because there were a few people having wine and beer. I declined because I wasn't in the mood and had bought a soda, but really, people. Honestly, a glass of wine, people. In my social circle, the OP's experience is totally normal. We all get along and get to know each other and each other's kids. It's such a relief that I know my kids' friends and their parents so well. I feel bad that the OP is so ?busy? narrow-minded? whatever that she can't be bothered to have a glass of wine or water or soda or whatever with her kid's friend's parent. People seriously need to loosen up.

Signed, a person who will occasionally have a drink or 2 and occasionally pass it up, because I have a, you know, completely normal relationship with alcohol. I know y'all don't live in my neighborhood because we're not all worked up where I live. Have fun in the 'burbs, people.

yes, it must be an urban/suburban thing you nimrod

yes, she must be one of the "cool" people!!! Hey, no one has answered my question about allowing your senior in high school ( back when the drinking age was 18) to drive after having a "few" glasses of wine while hanging out with friends or even possibly babysitting a bunch of 6 year olds after having the wine. Abstain for one night people.

[Anonymous]

Why does the smiley face pop up when typing an 8?

[Anonymous]

PP pretty much covered it all.

This really bothers me. People nowadays don't know how to enjoy a social gathering without having alcohol, what's pretty disturbing.

What's so bad about life that you need to get yourself drugged to loosen up.

[Anonymous]

First, I've lived in Europe and they (at least the UK) have a HUGE alcohol problem. Binge drinking especially. So don't make it sound like the there is something magical about how Europeans handle alcohol. Its a national problem.

Most European countries have much stricter blood alcohol limits for alcohol than we have. So they are not as "relaxed' about alcohol's effects on judgment as some might think.

I do not believe that adults who are responsible for children should drink, in general. I would not drive after even one drink. So if my judgment is impaired enough not to drive, then I should not be supervising children, either.

I think there a lot of people with unrecognized drinking problems out there. And because it is so pervasive and they have surrounded themselves with likeminded folks, it is likely to continue to go unrecognized. Just like in the UK, when problem drinking is nearly universal, it seems normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are various types of people here. It's not anti-drinkers vs. drinkers here.

I posted earlier. I like wine quite a bit and if my best friend was watching my child, I'd be just fine with her having a glass of wine. However, if my child was invited to a classmate's birthday party sleepover and the parents were drinking wine, I'm not sure I would be as confident, as many of you are, that the parent was only going to have one glass of wine. What's more, if I personally were hosting children who were not my own, I simply wouldn't drink. While I personally feel pretty relaxed about alcohol, some people don't.

This thread, nonetheless, is incredibly valuable. I had no idea that so many parents were so casual about caring for other people's children. If you invite children to your home, put away the wine glass for a single night. It's not that hard. You can drink wine every other night. I'm not judging anyone for their wine intake, nor do I assume that someone is going to binge if I see them drink one glass. However, if it's someone I don't know very well, how do I, or any of you, know that they will, indeed stop at one? It's easy for you all to say that when it's not your child, but if your kid was at a classmate's house, and you felt awkward about the drinking, would you say "oh, you're just going to have one, right?" Or would you just assume it? The thing is, some people assume that somebody watching their child won't have ANY wine. So if that person shouldn't assume no alcohol, you shouldn't assume 1 or 2 glasses. You shouldn't assume anything. It SHOULD be a given that if you host a sleepover, you won't be drinking. But sadly, it's not. And by the way, this has nothing to do with being incapacitated or performing CPR, in my view. It's just that some people do not want their children around a person who has been drinking.

Seriously thinking that many of you have alcohol issues. Denial and hanging around a bunch of other people whose drinking is as bad or worse than yours (so your behavior seems ordinary) can be a sign. I like wine as much as anyone, but I don't drink every night. Anyone who does should think twice about the role alcohol is playing in their lives. What's so hard about real life that you need a drink in your hand all the time? real life is actually pretty awesome.

THIS. And based on the length of this thread, NOT thinking that the GS post was a joke at all.

Hope your kid goes to my kid's school.

Amen sister. I think this sums up my feelings and views exactly. Put the alcohol down for one night.

[Anonymous]

I would prefer that the parents would not be drinking when they overseeing a group of children and offering alochol to those in who will be leaving shortly to drive. They are not old enough to understand one drink an hour. This sends a scary message about drinking and driving in my opinion.