Step kid returns to nest - mixed feelings

[Anonymous]

DD's friend kept parking in their driveway after her parents explicitly telling her she cannot (when parked in the driveway, she would block the garage). So apparently the dad took her keys, took the car and drove to some random place in the neighborhood and left it parked there. She had to go find it. Stopped happening after that.

EVERY single time he is parked in the driveway.You need to go to him and say he needs to move his car. Make up a reason every time, such as you have a patient with xyz going on and you might get a call in the middle of the night. Or you have a few patients similar to last ones where you ended up getting called out in the middle of the night and you're expecting that could happen again. He says no or he says he'll do it in fifteen minutes, stay on top of it and just say you need him to do it now because you're concerned it'll be forgotten and you need to know you have a clear path out where you can accept without delay. Not angry just firm and clear. Every single time.

[Anonymous]

^ exit without delay

[Anonymous]

Does he want to live with you? Grad students do not typically live at home.

If you’re not willing to insist on your husband stepping up that is on you. I would consider not being treated with disrespect in my home a dealbreaker but you do you.

The passive aggressive answer is you have several 5:30 am emergencies on weekends. He gets woken up at 5:30 every Saturday and Sunday to move his car.

But catering and waiting on a grown man while your children watch is a choice. Since it’s a choice you’ve freely made, just start parking in the street, hire cleaning help, and get ready for intense resentment from your bio kids. I’m sure thats better than giving DH an ultimatum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he want to live with you? Grad students do not typically live at home.

If you’re not willing to insist on your husband stepping up that is on you. I would consider not being treated with disrespect in my home a dealbreaker but you do you.

The passive aggressive answer is you have several 5:30 am emergencies on weekends. He gets woken up at 5:30 every Saturday and Sunday to move his car.

But catering and waiting on a grown man while your children watch is a choice. Since it’s a choice you’ve freely made, just start parking in the street, hire cleaning help, and get ready for intense resentment from your bio kids. I’m sure thats better than giving DH an ultimatum.

I like the 5:30am thing. And the story about the Dad parking the car in a mystery spot. Amazing

[Anonymous]

I'd completely ignore his grocery list demands until he honors your completely reasonable request not to block your car. No more Count Chockula or Red Bull until then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd completely ignore his grocery list demands until he honors your completely reasonable request not to block your car. No more Count Chockula or Red Bull until then.

He has grocery demands? Seriously? How is he ever going to become a responsible adult if you all keep enabling childishness, dependency, and disrespect? Is he going to expect his future wife to do all his cleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry, and buy him a car that he parks in her spot when she needs to go to work to support him and their kids? This is the direction you are going. You need to help him become a real man, OP, not enable this behavior any longer.

If I were his parents, there would be no groceries, definitely no laundry (we stopped doing our kids' laundry when they were 12), and I'd take away the car I gave him the next time he blocked me. Privilege revoked. It's time to let him become an adult. Also, living at home needs a defined expiration date. Part of adulting is paying your own rent and taking care of your own place.