Step kid returns to nest - mixed feelings

[Anonymous]

Is your house and it’s a year. I would just say unfortunately it’s too much of an ask unless he’s willing to follow the expectations. Your expectations. Which the other kids also have to follow. And then list them all out so he can choose if it works or not.

[Anonymous]

Just tell him he needs to park on the street and not in the driveway. He is 25. He can understand that.

[Anonymous]

Definitely a high level conversation is needed about overall expectations. Make it about the home life itself, not biological kids vs step kids. Everyone is expected to do the same.

If your car is blocked and you get called in either make him move it even if it’s 3am or take your husband’s car every single time.

[Anonymous]

Take his car and your keys.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine saying no to my stepkids or kids given that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take his car and your keys.

OP here. That has been the conversation the handful of times this has happened.

Him "my keys are upstairs, can you just move it?"

Me "happy to grab your keys, but I have to leave now, so I'll just drive it to hosptial"

I think because the 3 am situation has only happened twice, he feels it's worth the risk. I work a fair amount of 24 hour shifts so the usual excuse is "but I didn't think you'd be home!"

[Anonymous]

Assign him a parking spot. He has to always park in the same place.

[Anonymous]

You just have to communicate clearly and sincerely about how to make this year easier for yourself and him as well. Be kind, let go of minor inconvenience but speak up calmly about things which can make you resent him or him you. He isn't your responsibility, he is an adult who deserves and expected to give respect and be a functional member of family unit. Let him know that you and DH are aging so you need him to be more mindful and be a good example for his siblings.

[Anonymous]

I would rent him a studio for a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take his car and your keys.

OP here. That has been the conversation the handful of times this has happened.

Him "my keys are upstairs, can you just move it?"

Me "happy to grab your keys, but I have to leave now, so I'll just drive it to hosptial"

I think because the 3 am situation has only happened twice, he feels it's worth the risk. I work a fair amount of 24 hour shifts so the usual excuse is "but I didn't think you'd be home!"

I assume there’s not a way for him to block your husband in instead of you?

I’d make not blocking you in a condition of living there. You guys should clearly outline the rules, whatever they may be. Pick your top three concerns and get agreement on those.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you’re supposed to start as you mean to go on. You should have asked him to move his car the very first time, and explain why.

You’re going to just have to speak up. It can be a “would you please make sure to put your dishes in the dishwasher” or “would you please pick up some milk, bread and eggs on your way home” rather than some kind of big meeting or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would rent him a studio for a year.

Easy solution.

[Anonymous]

You don't want home environment to be tense for his one year back at home after 5 years away and your youngest's last year at home before college. Take it as volunteer work for humanity and your family's greater good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't want home environment to be tense for his one year back at home after 5 years away and your youngest's last year at home before college. Take it as volunteer work for humanity and your family's greater good.

OP here. I love this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would rent him a studio for a year.

Easy solution.

If you have unlimited funds