I’m tired of my exchange student talking about how easy school is here and how dumb the American kids are.

[Anonymous]

he's right

[Anonymous]

Most exchange students find American schools to be rather easy. Pretty much every student we have ever hosted has told is this. Add in different attitudes towards teachers as well.

Perhaps he should take harder classes and/or he needs to increase his extracurriculars.

Explain that Exchanges are largely cultural, with academics simply something one must do in order to maintain one's standing in the program. Growth happens through involvement with friends and the broader community. If he has not made many friends, that's yet another area for him to focus on.

Finally, there are a range of abilities in all education systems. Simply point that out and ignore him thereafter. You've both made your points and it's largely time for both of you to move on.

[Anonymous]

I can’t wait to hear where this kid is in 10 years compared to your children, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's right

He isn't taking any math and science classes because he finds math and science "not enjoyable" (ie too difficult in teen talk)

This means his only core classes are English and History, so he is taking only 2 "real" classes, with the rest of the 5 classes blow off electives.

Even the low performing kids take 4 core classes which include math and science, at a minimum. The high performing kids will double up on a core class, such as 2 math/science/stem classes, a foreign language class and usually an academic elective such as computer or orchestra.

Is he taking AP classes? AP classes are where the college bound students (ie gymnasium) would be.

If he is taking 5 fun electives and only 2 core classes, neither of which are AP, and is not taking any math or science, then he is at the lowest possible level of classes, most likely with the lowest performing students. I don't know what Germany calls their lowest tier, but it sounds like his course load is lower than what even the not college bound kids take in high school.

OP needs to familiarize herself with what the "gymnasium" equivalent students take at her high school (which is NOT his schedule) and what the lower performing kids take (which is likely MORE rigorous than his schedule) then look over his schedule with him and explain that he is taking a class selection lower than the lowest performing kids at his US high school, which is why his schedule is so easy and why his classmates might not seem good at school.

Then ask him if he would like you to set up an appointment this week with the counselor, to switch his English and History classes to AP classes, and to drop 2 of his fun electives for math and science classes, since he keeps expressing that his blow off course selection is not rigorous enough for him to keep up back home.

Call him out using his own words, but do it in an informed way that makes it sounds like you are on his side

I also agree that he is probably homesick, and this is a defense mechanism.

[Anonymous]

He's certainly taking easy classes if there's no math and science, not sure how he ended up with such class selection as otherwise math/science is compulsory. Also, what the PP said, get him involved in extracurriculars, if he's any good. We had 2 exchange students who qualified for boys soccer varsity a few years ago and had the time of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's right

You post this 5 times already…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Europeans have massive egos with major inferiority complexes when it comes to America. They LOVE to hate America because they used to rule the world (the British hegemony is long over) but do not anymore. I’ve seen Europeans who visit America, live in America, and are even citizens of America constantly criticize America. And if you criticize Europe even once, they go ballistic!

Yep! I actually tell them to go home! I have a French friend who used to say this and I would respond ‘why are you here? Go home!’ Now he admits the job marked sucks in France and the French complain about everything. They are total whiners who expect the government to do everything for them and they are very lazy. He now focuses his criticism on our chocolate and cheese - fair enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've taught and lived abroad, so have some perspective here.

Yes, American schools are easy compared to the kind of school this teen would have attended, but the converse is that we don't throw up our hands and give up on kids after 13 if we think they aren't "college material."

He's also chosen to avoid the classes where he would be meeting highly motivated peers of the sort he left behind in gymnasium.

Moreover, though, I just really agree with the PP who said it is your job to help with navigate American cultural norms by not being rude.

I assume he wants to live/work abroad as an adult, hence doing a study abroad in HS. I think you can be pretty blunt with him - he will not get far in any field if he cannot or will not at least mimic baseline civility in line with local cultural norms.

No one is giving up on kids after 13. They’re teaching them vocational skills so they can be productive members of society. Here if you graduate and aren’t really college material, you have no careers waiting after high school graduation. We actually don’t want an entire country of college graduates. But here we’re pushing kids into advanced high school courses that they just fail and distract other kids.

And that is why your country has no jobs! Go home- we don’t need you here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait to hear where this kid is in 10 years compared to your children, OP.

He will be back in his home country trying to come back to the best country in the world. Yep, we must totally suck since everyone wants to be us or hate us because we are better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:True or not, sounds like he would benefit from learning about the importance of emotional intelligence to be successful in life! Academics alone mean little without being about to navigate social nuances with grace.

This! OP, tell him that in US people are judged on a different kind of intelligence with the highest ranking going to those that know whose behind to kiss when.

This is so true. I graduated from gifted school and regularly see the “average” kids with a high ‘social’ IQ as the most successful - including my brother who leads a global company. Business skills are not academic and this kid is really on the wrong path for success. To could just smile and nod, while you watch your ‘stupid’ kids get better jobs and live a better life. I see immigrants here with the same mentality ‘get the accolades’, ‘be the best academically’, ‘study, study, study’ - then they wonder why their kid is a cog in a wheel rather than the leader. Well, they don’t have the skills to lead. I pulled my kid from TJ specifically because of this. The kids were socially inept and despite them befriending each other they wouldn’t survive socially inept society where social/emotional IQ is king.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait to hear where this kid is in 10 years compared to your children, OP.

Yes!

When I was a teen we had an exchange student from Belgium, and he would constantly make similar comments. He was sooo smart and Belgium sooo ahead, and he was probably correct about Belgium, and I have no doubt he was smart. We have kept in touch with him over the years and let me tell you, he didn’t amount to much compared to my siblings and I with our “lackluster” American education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait to hear where this kid is in 10 years compared to your children, OP.

I’m sure they will all be doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait to hear where this kid is in 10 years compared to your children, OP.

He will be back in his home country trying to come back to the best country in the world. Yep, we must totally suck since everyone wants to be us or hate us because we are better

The Europeans have been watching the US slowly deteriorate to shithole status. People in war torn countries and corrupt governments with most living in poverty want a better, safer country. Europeans are doing better than the US.

[Anonymous]

I was a teacher in Germany for three years.

If he is a student at a Gymnasium (the university-bound high school/track) in Germany, then he can't opt out of math and science. Why isn't he taking them now? Tell him he must be attending Hauptschule or Realschule, and ask him which. He won't like that because it underscores the fact that he isn't at the most advanced level/tracked definitely for university.

And if he is at Gymnasium, how will he manage the credit transfer issue for an entire year off track?

[Anonymous]

I have been to every European country, and the Germans are the biggest PITAs. They are arrogant and smug, and they it country doesn’t work as well as they think it does. They are universally reviled and derided throughout Europe too. They are also predisposed not to like Americans in my experience, and so he likely arrived with those views and is trying to reinforce them to his insecure peers and parents back home. I blame the aftermath of WWII for the anti Americanism that is so rampant in Germany. Why would you EVER host a German OP? There are so many more worthwhile European exchange students.