I’m tired of my exchange student talking about how easy school is here and how dumb the American kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

You’re so wrong it isn’t even funny. That’s not a xenophobic stereotype, it’s a cultural difference. I’m German. We interact differently and have different customs. Do you really think all cultures have the same social norms? German ones are not extremely different from American ones, but they are different—we are much more direct. It’s not rude if it’s true, basically. Nobody is sugar coating anything.

Go live in India for a while. Or China. Or Brazil. You think you are always going to know what people mean when they say something to you? that’s funny.

Haha, this reminds me of a mom friend years ago. She insisted I hang around a while longer (we were at her house), but the way she framed the comment made me give her a long look. Eventually I realized she was saying *ever so indirectly* that it was time for us to leave. It was funny, but at the same time, so much more productive to plainly give a time limit when she has other plans, instead of weirdly insisting we hang around.

[Anonymous]

My ILs had a German exchange student. He was really annoying.

He wanted to chew gum in a museum when it was not allowed. When asked to remove the gum, he said he thought it was a free country.

Why come if you’re going to be a jerk?

If Americans are so stupid, why watch our movies or TV shows or even visit?

America is big with dumb people and smart people.

[Anonymous]

There is absolutely a culture on Europe of disparaging Americans. I've lived there. Some people just need to feel superior to feel good about themselves. It makes them look insecure to others but they think they are being insightful and clever.

[Anonymous]

"So you've said...repeatedly. Would you like to make arrangements to end your time here early? If you feel you aren't getting any benefits by being here I'm sure it can be arranged."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs had a German exchange student. He was really annoying.

He wanted to chew gum in a museum when it was not allowed. When asked to remove the gum, he said he thought it was a free country.

Why come if you’re going to be a jerk?

If Americans are so stupid, why watch our movies or TV shows or even visit?

America is big with dumb people and smart people.

I wonder that about American tourists often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is absolutely a culture on Europe of disparaging Americans. I've lived there. Some people just need to feel superior to feel good about themselves. It makes them look insecure to others but they think they are being insightful and clever.

Oooorrrrr

Teens can be jerks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

You’re so wrong it isn’t even funny. That’s not a xenophobic stereotype, it’s a cultural difference. I’m German. We interact differently and have different customs. Do you really think all cultures have the same social norms? German ones are not extremely different from American ones, but they are different—we are much more direct. It’s not rude if it’s true, basically. Nobody is sugar coating anything.

Go live in India for a while. Or China. Or Brazil. You think you are always going to know what people mean when they say something to you? that’s funny.

PP you replied to. I'm European and lived in Germany for 5 years. Apart from one of my neighbors, who was rude, everyone else was perfectly lovely. I have interacted with many people from around the globe and am perfectly aware of cultural differences. Maybe you didn't read the OP carefully. One remark by a 17 year old is fine. But apparently he lets loose regularly when he comes home from school. That is NOT a cultural difference and it's NOT normal, and if you tell me this is typical German behavior, I'm not going to believe you, because that was not the behavior of Germans when I lived in Dusseldorf.

Maybe learn to read the OP.

That’s not a response to the OP is it? It’s a response to the PP, dumbass. Yet another “European” who can’t say what they are.

[Anonymous]

Does he say that they are stupid, or poorly-educated?

You can say that it;s just a diffferent system if it's the latter.

The fact that he isn't taking a broad courseload demonstrates this -- most of those who would study the subjects he is studying would ONLY be studying those subjects in a German Gymnasium.

- German American who went to HS in both

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

You’re so wrong it isn’t even funny. That’s not a xenophobic stereotype, it’s a cultural difference. I’m German. We interact differently and have different customs. Do you really think all cultures have the same social norms? German ones are not extremely different from American ones, but they are different—we are much more direct. It’s not rude if it’s true, basically. Nobody is sugar coating anything.

Go live in India for a while. Or China. Or Brazil. You think you are always going to know what people mean when they say something to you? that’s funny.

PP you replied to. I'm European and lived in Germany for 5 years. Apart from one of my neighbors, who was rude, everyone else was perfectly lovely. I have interacted with many people from around the globe and am perfectly aware of cultural differences. Maybe you didn't read the OP carefully. One remark by a 17 year old is fine. But apparently he lets loose regularly when he comes home from school. That is NOT a cultural difference and it's NOT normal, and if you tell me this is typical German behavior, I'm not going to believe you, because that was not the behavior of Germans when I lived in Dusseldorf.

Maybe learn to read the OP.

I’m sure your couple years in Germany makes you a bigger expert than the actual German….who was responding to you apparently. Not the OP. Who needs to learn to read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs had a German exchange student. He was really annoying.

He wanted to chew gum in a museum when it was not allowed. When asked to remove the gum, he said he thought it was a free country.

Why come if you’re going to be a jerk?

If Americans are so stupid, why watch our movies or TV shows or even visit?

America is big with dumb people and smart people.

I wonder that about American tourists often.

Fair point. Americans can be quite terrible in France with loud talking and shorts and flip flops and a constant need for ketchup.

[Anonymous]

Is he in the honor's and AP classes or in gen pop.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

It's something they recognize themselves. And social manners do differ in various part of the world. No one is hating on Germans or this kid.

Saying something sounds German and not autistic doesn't mean it's an insult to either. It's only an insult b/c you are using your American criteria t judge what is polite. If anything, you are the person being culturally insensitive.
The point is there are different things that are valued and thus different ways of communicating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s not taking any math or science classes while he’s here because he doesn’t like those subjects. He comes home from school every day telling me how the Americans can’t read, don’t know geography, history etc.

OP does he need to be enrolled in more challenging classes? Is this something you would need to arrange as the host parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

You’re so wrong it isn’t even funny. That’s not a xenophobic stereotype, it’s a cultural difference. I’m German. We interact differently and have different customs. Do you really think all cultures have the same social norms? German ones are not extremely different from American ones, but they are different—we are much more direct. It’s not rude if it’s true, basically. Nobody is sugar coating anything.

Go live in India for a while. Or China. Or Brazil. You think you are always going to know what people mean when they say something to you? that’s funny.

Haha, this reminds me of a mom friend years ago. She insisted I hang around a while longer (we were at her house), but the way she framed the comment made me give her a long look. Eventually I realized she was saying *ever so indirectly* that it was time for us to leave. It was funny, but at the same time, so much more productive to plainly give a time limit when she has other plans, instead of weirdly insisting we hang around.

Are you sure you were picking up on this correctly?