I’m tired of my exchange student talking about how easy school is here and how dumb the American kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

[Anonymous]

Whether he’s right or wrong, he’s a guest in your house. He may be smart, but his manners are trash.

[Anonymous]

He is correct but you can also ask him to point out what great German startups are IPOing next year so you can inform your investment advisor and wait while he is silent.

[Anonymous]

Europeans have less tact or what we would consider tact. Just talk to him and let him know that in America this criticism seems unkind?

But yes, American schools are like prisons and specialize in the problem kids and are dumbed down. Just since covid. 50% minimums, retaking all tests? C'mon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember the joke I heard a German say about various behaviors which could be thought to be on the spectrum.

But instead they were stereotypically German.

I’m the PP German that posted. That’s what I thought when I saw someone write that he’s probably on the spectrum. The whole country is not on the spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s from Germany. He 17 and has quite an ego. His English is formal, but excellent and he also speaks German and Spanish fluently.
He’s not taking any math or science classes while he’s here because he doesn’t like those subjects.
He comes home from school every day telling me how the Americans can’t read, don’t know geography, history etc. I’m really tired of hearing it.
Help me survive this until June!

Have you considered that maybe he's right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

[Anonymous]

Tell him now that he’s told you, no need to repeat himself over and over. In our house you can only complain about something once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

It's something they recognize themselves. And social manners do differ in various part of the world. No one is hating on Germans or this kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

You’re so wrong it isn’t even funny. That’s not a xenophobic stereotype, it’s a cultural difference. I’m German. We interact differently and have different customs. Do you really think all cultures have the same social norms? German ones are not extremely different from American ones, but they are different—we are much more direct. It’s not rude if it’s true, basically. Nobody is sugar coating anything.

Go live in India for a while. Or China. Or Brazil. You think you are always going to know what people mean when they say something to you? that’s funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

Oh please. Here we go again with the keyboard diagnosis.

No, pp, he is not probably "on the spectrum." 99% chance this is explained by him being a) a cocky 17 YO boy (I have one; this sounds familiar), coupled with the fact that he's German. They do have a way about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

This

[Anonymous]

But he’s living in America. You’re telling us to adapt when living in other cultures. He can step up and do the same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably on the spectrum - smart, but socially inept. If you want to, you can address that with him, and say: "I can see you're intelligent and above average, even for a German high schooler. But socially, I'd like to remind you of the rules of etiquette. It's not done, here or in any other country, to repeatedly criticize people. You've already told me how American students are behind academically multiple times, so I don't need to hear this anymore. And going forward, applying rules of social etiquette will help you with your professional and private relationships."

Cast it in the form of "social rules" and in light of his future interests, and he will understand it better. I have close relatives on the spectrum - being direct but neutral helps them a lot.

FYI... I lived in the UK, France and Germany as a child, and went to high school in a private international school in Paris. The average American student IS behind the average continental European student!!! It's true But it doesn't mean it should be said.

My kids went to/still attend good public high schools, and they were or still are in all AP/advanced tracks, which puts them below my high school level in writing and the Humanities, but higher in STEM and math.

I think he just sounds German.

Stop it with the xenophobic stereotypes. People are the same everywhere and politeness is a thing outside of the US.

You’re so wrong it isn’t even funny. That’s not a xenophobic stereotype, it’s a cultural difference. I’m German. We interact differently and have different customs. Do you really think all cultures have the same social norms? German ones are not extremely different from American ones, but they are different—we are much more direct. It’s not rude if it’s true, basically. Nobody is sugar coating anything.

Go live in India for a while. Or China. Or Brazil. You think you are always going to know what people mean when they say something to you? that’s funny.

PP you replied to. I'm European and lived in Germany for 5 years. Apart from one of my neighbors, who was rude, everyone else was perfectly lovely. I have interacted with many people from around the globe and am perfectly aware of cultural differences. Maybe you didn't read the OP carefully. One remark by a 17 year old is fine. But apparently he lets loose regularly when he comes home from school. That is NOT a cultural difference and it's NOT normal, and if you tell me this is typical German behavior, I'm not going to believe you, because that was not the behavior of Germans when I lived in Dusseldorf.

Maybe learn to read the OP.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Plus who even knows if what he’s saying is true—we had a French kid (16) stay with us for a few weeks last fall who acted like his schooling was superior and was blah blah blahing about how he was planning to go to MIT. When we drilled down he was taking geometry and a general survey science class meanwhile my 16yo was in multi variable calc and ap chem.