Why do we tolerate trash talking and elitism as "boys will be boys" behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

Why shouldn’t a kid who is good at a sport care about trash talking aimed at them?

And why do these questions always go back to sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

This is elementary school. What sport are your kids on the top ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

This is elementary school. What sport are your kids on the top ?

All three of my kids play tennis. My boys also played basketball and soccer. We are not a trash talking family. I have witnessed very loud kids and families in soccer and basketball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

This is elementary school. What sport are your kids on the top ?

My oldest plays varsity tennis and tournaments. He has been playing tennis since he was in preschool.

My youngest has only been playing tennis for one year.

[Anonymous]

Why? I guess because our elected leadership says it's ok. This man who said that white men must be in charge if you want things to work was confirmed by Congress earlier this year.

Trump administration taps right-wing ideologue for senior State Dept job
By Daphne Psaledakis and Simon Lewis
WASHINGTON, Feb 4 (Reuters) - The Trump administration has appointed to serve as the top public diplomacy official at the State Department a former speech writer for President Donald Trump with a history of doubts over U.S. foreign policy towards Taiwan and inflammatory comments on women and minorities, at one point saying that "competent white men must be in charge."
Darren Beattie has been named the acting undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs, a senior State Department official said, a role that determines the tone of America's public messaging in the world. Beattie requires Senate confirmation to serve on a permanent basis.
"Thanks to President Trump’s miraculous victory, we have entered the beginning of a new Golden Age—of success, prosperity, legitimacy, and accountability. I have been given the great honor of serving once again in Trump’s administration, this time in the Department of State," Beattie said on X in a statement posted by Revolver News, a right-wing media outlet that he founded which regularly promotes conspiracy theories.
Beattie's earlier social media posts have come under the spotlight, prompting a warning from Jewish advocacy group Anti-Defamation League which said he "has no place in a role representing American values abroad."
"Throughout the years, Beattie has participated in several conversations and events organized by notorious racists, antisemites and white supremacists and has continuously promoted an array of conspiracy theories, including those related to the Jan. 6 insurrection and the "Great Replacement" theory, embraced by antisemites and white supremacists," ADL said.
Beattie was terminated as a speech writer for Trump after The Washington Post in 2018 reported that he had spoken at a conference attended by well-known white nationalists.
SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS
In a post last October, Beattie wrote that America's national ideology is based on "coddling the feelings of women and minorities, and demoralizing competent white men" and that "Competent white men must be in charge if you want things to work."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

This is elementary school. What sport are your kids on the top ?

All three of my kids play tennis. My boys also played basketball and soccer. We are not a trash talking family. I have witnessed very loud kids and families in soccer and basketball.

It’s absolutely ridiculous for any parent or kid to trash talk at this age. These tiny kids who can run around and be aggressive with grabbing the ball will not play on a middle school or high school team. They are 5’ tall in the 8th grade, 5’8” by high school graduation. Their glory days were the 4th grade when everyone was small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

Reread your post. You are justifying bad behavior. Your complicity is part of the problem. You're a bad parent. Don't worry, you have lots of company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv.

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn.

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem.

I said if your kid is good at a sport, he shouldn’t care.

My boys are athletic and have definitely been on the receiving end of this trash talk. They have been knocked down even when they are at the top and also made to feel worse when they are already down. I’m not saying this is right or proper. This is just what happens in sports.

I can’t believe I am explaining this on a forum. I am a non athlete with two boy athletes. Even sitting in the stands, you hear parents booing, shouting and yelling. I have watched moms and dads screaming at refs and getting kicked off courts. Entire stands may mock a kid.

I’m the quiet Asian mom who only cheers for my kids and team.

Reread your post. You are justifying bad behavior. Your complicity is part of the problem. You're a bad parent. Don't worry, you have lots of company.

My kids don’t even play soccer anymore. I had one kid play rec and the other played travel. Both were good and didn’t trash talk. I used to watch the travel soccer team and parents yell at one another. I and my kids are not yellers. I watched the siblings put down sibling yelling from sidelines, yelling at the coach, I’m sure these kids learn these behavior from family and friends.

I agree that complicity is the problem. Same as when you hear of a kid who got bullied to the extent of committing suicide. When you hear about these stories, you wonder how anyone could stand by and not help. My boys are older now but they once were young like OP’s son and I also was bothered and huffed and puffed about this behavior. As kids get older, the problems get bigger and I’m just glad my kids survived those years and are thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a parent of a 4th grade DD who had been warned about how difficult tween and teen girls were and how mean they are to each other. I was always told that boys were straightforward and easy.

It’s been shocking to see girls rally together and be supportive and kind, and to see the cruel, aggressive and constant work boys exert to establish and maintain a pecking order and their place in it. (I just wrote basically the same thing on the special needs thread and it isn’t worth rephrasing) Girl moms talked for years about relational aggression, but now I think it’s who who are really pushing the boundaries of what that can look like.

We have multiple boys at our school leaving because they’ve basically been driven out by this alpha boy nonsense.

At my child’s school it seems to be the opposite. This is elementary btw. Girls have been nasty, mean, said the worst things to one another and are so cliquey. They made all the girls on two grades see the school counselor due to the behavior.

The boys due have issue and especially 5th (language mostly) but there have been way more issues with girls. I openly talk to my son about kindness and not competing and so does the school (to everyone). I find when the fathers act “alpha” the sons replicate that nonsense.

Parents talk about it, messages sent home to everyone, one family I know is moving. I think it’s due to their child’s behavior. It is so abhorrent I assume they are embarrassed and leaving for another part of the country.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP. the family leaving has a girl.

[Anonymous]

I reject OP’s premise. “We” don’t accept anything. I have two athletes and rarely hear any of this. Sometimes kids will be kids, not boys will be boys. Sometimes the kids are jerks but mostly not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a parent of a 4th grade DD who had been warned about how difficult tween and teen girls were and how mean they are to each other. I was always told that boys were straightforward and easy.

It’s been shocking to see girls rally together and be supportive and kind, and to see the cruel, aggressive and constant work boys exert to establish and maintain a pecking order and their place in it. (I just wrote basically the same thing on the special needs thread and it isn’t worth rephrasing) Girl moms talked for years about relational aggression, but now I think it’s who who are really pushing the boundaries of what that can look like.

We have multiple boys at our school leaving because they’ve basically been driven out by this alpha boy nonsense.

At my child’s school it seems to be the opposite. This is elementary btw. Girls have been nasty, mean, said the worst things to one another and are so cliquey. They made all the girls on two grades see the school counselor due to the behavior.

The boys due have issue and especially 5th (language mostly) but there have been way more issues with girls. I openly talk to my son about kindness and not competing and so does the school (to everyone). I find when the fathers act “alpha” the sons replicate that nonsense.

Parents talk about it, messages sent home to everyone, one family I know is moving. I think it’s due to their child’s behavior. It is so abhorrent I assume they are embarrassed and leaving for another part of the country.

Some of the boys are starting to sexually harass the girls, nothing to do with sports. They both have issues.

One thing I noticed starting in preschool is that men take kiddie sports way too seriously and the worst are the loud, overweight guys who should be focused on their own activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and I meant to add that the parents of these boys are perfectly happy with how they’re acting and there’s lots of talk about confidence or fake sympathy for boys who “can’t keep up with everyone else.”

My kids grew up with two of the worst bullies in the area where I live. They were known for their horrible behavior throughout the city I live in. Teachers at schools they did not attend knew about them. I knew their mothers well. In both cases the parents greatest desire was that their kids be popular. The other most important thing to both of these parents was that they would rather their kids be bullies than get bullied. When one of the kids was bullying my kid and I talked to the mom, she explained to me that it was too bad because popular kids were mean. The dads wanted the kids to be mean. A lot of parents think that teaching their kids to be mean makes them bully proof.

Both of these kids were hot shots in sports in elementary and their parents thought they would both be big basketball and football stars. They were neither. They barely got in to unimpressive colleges and are washouts. They were vile to so many kids but, in general, kids sucked up to them throughout high school because of their popularity. They are nobodies now and have multiple alcohol and reckless speeding convictions.

Weird parents and a shame about their kids.