What distinguishes an "average woman" from an "above average" woman for dating and marriage

[Anonymous]

Bonus points if you are socially connected and can help advance his career and get your kids into top schools.

Wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HVW has/can:
above average looks
above average style for herself and her house
advanced/terminal degree
high salary job
talk to anyone about anything
intelligence and curiosity
follow through on tasks and activities

Lol, women are so delusional - advanced degrees, a fancy job and a great conversationalist are what men *really* desire in a partner.

Ladies, those are the things *you* value in men, so you incorrectly assume that those are the things men, in turn, value in women. However, that would be like saying, "I want a man who is taller than me, so men must also desire women who are taller than them." See the problem with that? Often, men and women want opposite things in a mate.

What men really value are looks, kindness, submissiveness and an enthusiasm for sex. That's it. Want to be an above average woman? Improve in those four areas. Degrees don't even crack the top 20 criteria. In fact, anecdotally, the women I have dated who have had the most advanced degrees were often the most argumentative and least pleasant to be around (i.e., very low on kindness and submissiveness). So even if they had looks and liked sex, they were not "high value women" in my opinion.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm short but that's never kept me out of the running. All my bf's have been over 6'2"

Tall men like little women.

Until they have short sons. The keening and wailing about short sons in this site. People seem not to understand DNA.

The smart ones know little women mean much shorter sons.

No the dads height cancels that out. Tall men and short women getting together is biological

I know lots of 6 foot plus guys married to the 5-2 or 5-3 woman. The sons usually don’t even hit 6 feet. The husbands height does not cancel it out. They have sons shorter than they are, on average. Of course there are exceptions.

So common. Dad is 6-2, mom is 5-2. Everyone is shocked son is 5-8. It’s not shocking.

It is to me. My brother is 6’2 or 3, wife maybe 5’3 on a good day. Son is already 6 feet at 14. My brother wasn’t anywhere close to that tall at that age.
And no, his wife’s family is not tall.

+1

I am 5’4 DH is 6’4” DS is 14 and 6’4”

My brother is 5’7”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I see after many years in this area at least at my children’s Big 3 private school is most couples seem to both be from the same socio economic and educational background. Seems like people want to stick with their kind. I do not see any couples, for example, where the guy is an ivy educated Wasp and she’s just a very nice and pretty girl from the Bronx.

Haha this is literally my HS best friend and her wife.

[Anonymous]

I find it kind of amazing that only one or two comments mentioned anything about an above average woman for dating and marriage demonstrating a potential for being a good mother. For that matter, same with evaluating a potentially above average man. Especially when you think about the potential for marriage, not just dating. Why wouldn't someone having the qualities of and demonstrated talent for good parenting be high on the list of desirable qualities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it kind of amazing that only one or two comments mentioned anything about an above average woman for dating and marriage demonstrating a potential for being a good mother. For that matter, same with evaluating a potentially above average man. Especially when you think about the potential for marriage, not just dating. Why wouldn't someone having the qualities of and demonstrated talent for good parenting be high on the list of desirable qualities?

The potential for being a good mother is reflected in attributes such as kindness, caring, loving, no drama. Those things you can experience when dating. You can’t experience motherhood skills other then how she is with others kids but that’s far from motherhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it kind of amazing that only one or two comments mentioned anything about an above average woman for dating and marriage demonstrating a potential for being a good mother. For that matter, same with evaluating a potentially above average man. Especially when you think about the potential for marriage, not just dating. Why wouldn't someone having the qualities of and demonstrated talent for good parenting be high on the list of desirable qualities?

The potential for being a good mother is reflected in attributes such as kindness, caring, loving, no drama. Those things you can experience when dating. You can’t experience motherhood skills other then how she is with others kids but that’s far from motherhood.

That may be far from motherhood but I think I would want to witness any potential partner interacting with and possibly even caring for babies and young children before ever considering them for marriage. I definitely know people who wish they had done this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it kind of amazing that only one or two comments mentioned anything about an above average woman for dating and marriage demonstrating a potential for being a good mother. For that matter, same with evaluating a potentially above average man. Especially when you think about the potential for marriage, not just dating. Why wouldn't someone having the qualities of and demonstrated talent for good parenting be high on the list of desirable qualities?

The potential for being a good mother is reflected in attributes such as kindness, caring, loving, no drama. Those things you can experience when dating. You can’t experience motherhood skills other then how she is with others kids but that’s far from motherhood.

I’d add being responsible. Part of being a good mom that you would trust with your kids is being responsible and getting things done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen people on here reference “well-educated” several times as a trait of above average value women but what does that mean? College? Some grad school? JD or MBA? Does where you went to school matter at all?

Well, elite college undergrad with a finance or consulting job would be considered as, more or less "well-educated" as a PhD from a state school?

My wife doesn’t haven’t have a degree and is more educated and a lot smarter than pretty much everyone else I know with a degree.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't someone having the qualities of and demonstrated talent for good parenting be high on the list of desirable qualities?

Because not everyone is obsessed with parenthood.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen people on here reference “well-educated” several times as a trait of above average value women but what does that mean? College? Some grad school? JD or MBA? Does where you went to school matter at all?

I consider well educated as degrees that are somewhat prestigious like a JD from Yale or masters from Harvard.

I would not describe someone as well educated if she went to a large state school and majored in communications. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to a big state school but it is not someone I would describe as well educated.

So UVA grads are not well educated to you?

Not a rigorous education in many majors. But that is true at many schools.

Curious how you know this. Did your elite university offer a seminar on the rigor of all the majors offered at your university, as well as all the majors at all the other colleges and universities in the country?

Well, massive grade inflation over time when average hours of study has been in decline is an indicator.

Well there goes Yale, too, I guess.

Grade inflation at Yale - 79% of all grades awarded are A or A-.

https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2023/11/30/faculty-report-reveals-average-yale-college-gpa-grade-distributions-by-subject/#:~:text=Yale%20College's%20mean%20GPA%20was,A's%20or%20A%2D's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen people on here reference “well-educated” several times as a trait of above average value women but what does that mean? College? Some grad school? JD or MBA? Does where you went to school matter at all?

Well, elite college undergrad with a finance or consulting job would be considered as, more or less "well-educated" as a PhD from a state school?

My wife doesn’t haven’t have a degree and is more educated and a lot smarter than pretty much everyone else I know with a degree.

I don’t doubt that she is smarter but she is not more educated.

I have a friend whose husband didn’t graduate from college. She and he are always saying how he is smarter than everyone. It makes them sound and look silly. No one cares or looks down on him but to think you are better than others and say so makes you look bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HVW has/can:
above average looks
above average style for herself and her house
advanced/terminal degree
high salary job
talk to anyone about anything
intelligence and curiosity
follow through on tasks and activities

Lol, women are so delusional - advanced degrees, a fancy job and a great conversationalist are what men *really* desire in a partner.

Ladies, those are the things *you* value in men, so you incorrectly assume that those are the things men, in turn, value in women. However, that would be like saying, "I want a man who is taller than me, so men must also desire women who are taller than them." See the problem with that? Often, men and women want opposite things in a mate.

What men really value are looks, kindness, submissiveness and an enthusiasm for sex. That's it. Want to be an above average woman? Improve in those four areas. Degrees don't even crack the top 20 criteria. In fact, anecdotally, the women I have dated who have had the most advanced degrees were often the most argumentative and least pleasant to be around (i.e., very low on kindness and submissiveness). So even if they had looks and liked sex, they were not "high value women" in my opinion.

How does submissiveness play out in real life? What are men actually looking for? That women defer to them? On what? Everything? Or just some things? Curious on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HVW has/can:
above average looks
above average style for herself and her house
advanced/terminal degree
high salary job
talk to anyone about anything
intelligence and curiosity
follow through on tasks and activities

Lol, women are so delusional - advanced degrees, a fancy job and a great conversationalist are what men *really* desire in a partner.

Ladies, those are the things *you* value in men, so you incorrectly assume that those are the things men, in turn, value in women. However, that would be like saying, "I want a man who is taller than me, so men must also desire women who are taller than them." See the problem with that? Often, men and women want opposite things in a mate.

What men really value are looks, kindness, submissiveness and an enthusiasm for sex. That's it. Want to be an above average woman? Improve in those four areas. Degrees don't even crack the top 20 criteria. In fact, anecdotally, the women I have dated who have had the most advanced degrees were often the most argumentative and least pleasant to be around (i.e., very low on kindness and submissiveness). So even if they had looks and liked sex, they were not "high value women" in my opinion.

How does submissiveness play out in real life? What are men actually looking for? That women defer to them? On what? Everything? Or just some things? Curious on this one.

I think easy-going is a better word than submissive. No one wants to face a pain in the butt day in day out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why wouldn't someone having the qualities of and demonstrated talent for good parenting be high on the list of desirable qualities?

Because not everyone is obsessed with parenthood.

Looks to me like most people commenting are not concerned about parenthood at all. Probably they assume that if a woman is hot and has a nice personality she'll make a great mother. If a man is tall and well employed he'll be a great dad. Pretty delusional.