NYT Opinion Piece: This Isn’t What Millennial Middle Age Was Supposed To Look Like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr PT is barely enough money for a teenager to cover extra curriculars and gas, let alone rent and food for a family.

They call it minimum wage for a reason. Who told you you should be able to afford rent and food for a family and non-public education on minimum wage?

Minimum wage is working poor/poverty level and it always has been.

Get some education get some skills.

Why are fast food places & grocery stores open M-F, 8am-4pm then? Shouldn’t they be closed during those hours?

Huh? Minimum wage is the lowest possible paying job. Why do you expect it to fund a desirable lifestyle? If you want to make more, get and education and skills and get a job like others do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least Millennials didn't have to deal with the kind of violent crime that GenX dealt with as young adults. It's like 50% of what it used to be.

Well now we just live in fear that some madman with a gun will shoot up our grocery store, or elementary school, or concert, or or or…

Yeah because we didn't grow up with Son of Sam, the Unabomber, the Oklahoma City bombing, the World Trade Center (hello? 9/11), shall I continue?

I mean, I’m 36 and remember the OKC bombing, definitely remember 9/11, got boned by graduating in 2008, etc. you didn’t have it harder as a Gen X.

I’m not saying GenX had it harder. I’m saying millennials are not uniquely disadvantaged. They are just uniquely spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr PT is barely enough money for a teenager to cover extra curriculars and gas, let alone rent and food for a family.

They call it minimum wage for a reason. Who told you you should be able to afford rent and food for a family and non-public education on minimum wage?

Minimum wage is working poor/poverty level and it always has been.

Get some education get some skills.

Why are fast food places & grocery stores open M-F, 8am-4pm then? Shouldn’t they be closed during those hours?

Huh? Minimum wage is the lowest possible paying job. Why do you expect it to fund a desirable lifestyle? If you want to make more, get and education and skills and get a job like others do.

You didn’t answer the question. Why are those places open during those hours (school hours)? Who should work those establishments during those hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr PT is barely enough money for a teenager to cover extra curriculars and gas, let alone rent and food for a family.

They call it minimum wage for a reason. Who told you you should be able to afford rent and food for a family and non-public education on minimum wage?

Minimum wage is working poor/poverty level and it always has been.

Get some education get some skills.

FDR: https://publicpolicy.pepperdine.edu/blog/posts/what-did-fdr-mean-by-a-living-wage.htm

This is a different issue. What you’re describing is the evaporation of low skilled middle class manufacturing jobs, not minimum wage. OP seems to think they should be able to afford a nice lifestyle on minimum wage. The other thing that really hampers people who live in places like the rust belt and New England where manufacturing jobs have died out, is that they are often unwilling to relocate or retool to get different middle class jobs. Hence the high rates of alcoholism and opiate use in these areas. They are so deeply attached to community and geography at the expense of their survival.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 34 and I am NOT middle aged. F off.

If you go by the median age of death in US you most certainly are

Middle age starts at 36. The average lifespan in the United States is 72 years old. 36 + 36 = 72

You are almost middle aged right now. Wake up.

No, the average life expectancy of an American woman is 80. Add to it the fact that I’m white (it’s unfortunate that race makes a difference but it does), financially secure, and in good health with a good family history, then it’s probably higher. Of course sh happens and I could die tomorrow. Middle age mathematically is at least 40.
But biologically and culturally, middle age is associated with things like menopause and other physical changes. Which is generally not in your 30s. And I have perky breasts and a flat stomach and firm legs so…. Nope, not middle aged.

Okay Peter Pan let’s see how it works out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article. I read it - and to PPs, I don’t think it is people moaning at all. It is about how life if different for today’s 40 year olds - objectively different, from the sorts of crises we have experienced in recent times, to the cost of housing, the aging population, etc. The headline refers to the idea that the pop culture mid life crisis where a guy buys a flashy car and runs away with a younger woman is unlikely for today’s 40 something men, who may have only just got married/had kids for the first time.

Any discussion as to the impact of marrying later in life?

The reality is that a couple can begin building assets when they combine their two incomes.

I wonder if maybe they’re just doing it wrong?

Once again for the people in the back: when you say Millenials "did it wrong" in terms of the choices they made between 18 and 25 or so, you are actually complaining about how they were raised and the values they were raised with.

Regarding getting married young: my boomer parents (who got married at 19 and 22) would have been HORRIFIED if any of their children had gotten married before the age of 25. My dad attended a state university for like $500 a year (seriously, I'm pretty sure that's how much it cost, and no, that is not equivalent to the $25k that same university would cost now "in today's dollars") and my mom did not go to college. But if any of their kids had said we weren't going to go to college, they would have been ashamed and embarrassed. Actually that's exactly what happened with my younger brother, who has never been remotely academic and absolutely did not want to go to college, and they talked him into getting a 4-year degree anyway at a school that cost 30k/year (because a less expensive state school would not take him because his grades were so bad).

My parents desperately did not want us to follow in their footsteps and heavily influenced all of us to attend the best (and most expensive) schools we could, to delay marriage until we were "more established" and to not have kids until at least our late 20s. And by and large we did as they expected. And I'm not alone. I don't know anyone whose parents would have encouraged them to get married young and know plenty of people whose parents told them explicitly they should wait until their late 20s "at least."

I don't know where Boomers got this idea. They also were really into their kids going to grad school. Going to law school is basically the only thing I've ever done for which my dad expressed any pride at all. Which is ironic because it's the life choice I most regret.

Anyway, it's just so strange that suddenly you're all like "go to state school, get married young, have kids early" because that's the exact opposite of what my parents and all my peers parents told us to do back in the day.

This is a really good point which often gets overlooked in these discussions where people seem to want to point a finger at how dumb or deluded millennials are for things like putting off marriage or getting fancy advanced degrees. Decisions people made as very young adults were certainly influenced by the environment in which they were raised.

It goes both ways. Boomers didn't control the environment for their children, a great deal of a generation's culture is internally created. Attitudes towards marriage and social and cultural values aren't dictated entirely by the parents' generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 34 and I am NOT middle aged. F off.

If you go by the median age of death in US you most certainly are

Middle age starts at 36. The average lifespan in the United States is 72 years old. 36 + 36 = 72

You are almost middle aged right now. Wake up.

Sorry, people in their 30s are not middle aged. You are being a bit myopic and stubborn about this for some weird reason.

Uh by the time you are over 35 you are by definition entering middle age. Middle age is 35-55.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article. I read it - and to PPs, I don’t think it is people moaning at all. It is about how life if different for today’s 40 year olds - objectively different, from the sorts of crises we have experienced in recent times, to the cost of housing, the aging population, etc. The headline refers to the idea that the pop culture mid life crisis where a guy buys a flashy car and runs away with a younger woman is unlikely for today’s 40 something men, who may have only just got married/had kids for the first time.

Any discussion as to the impact of marrying later in life?

The reality is that a couple can begin building assets when they combine their two incomes.

I wonder if maybe they’re just doing it wrong?

Once again for the people in the back: when you say Millenials "did it wrong" in terms of the choices they made between 18 and 25 or so, you are actually complaining about how they were raised and the values they were raised with.

Regarding getting married young: my boomer parents (who got married at 19 and 22) would have been HORRIFIED if any of their children had gotten married before the age of 25. My dad attended a state university for like $500 a year (seriously, I'm pretty sure that's how much it cost, and no, that is not equivalent to the $25k that same university would cost now "in today's dollars") and my mom did not go to college. But if any of their kids had said we weren't going to go to college, they would have been ashamed and embarrassed. Actually that's exactly what happened with my younger brother, who has never been remotely academic and absolutely did not want to go to college, and they talked him into getting a 4-year degree anyway at a school that cost 30k/year (because a less expensive state school would not take him because his grades were so bad).

My parents desperately did not want us to follow in their footsteps and heavily influenced all of us to attend the best (and most expensive) schools we could, to delay marriage until we were "more established" and to not have kids until at least our late 20s. And by and large we did as they expected. And I'm not alone. I don't know anyone whose parents would have encouraged them to get married young and know plenty of people whose parents told them explicitly they should wait until their late 20s "at least."

I don't know where Boomers got this idea. They also were really into their kids going to grad school. Going to law school is basically the only thing I've ever done for which my dad expressed any pride at all. Which is ironic because it's the life choice I most regret.

Anyway, it's just so strange that suddenly you're all like "go to state school, get married young, have kids early" because that's the exact opposite of what my parents and all my peers parents told us to do back in the day.

This is a really good point which often gets overlooked in these discussions where people seem to want to point a finger at how dumb or deluded millennials are for things like putting off marriage or getting fancy advanced degrees. Decisions people made as very young adults were certainly influenced by the environment in which they were raised.

Yes and no.

Things like staying in state for college, working while in school and summers, minimizing costs by living at home or with tons of roommates, etc. are just commonsense.

Something shifted with millennials. They were the generation of destination bridal showers and over the top weddings. They often have dogs which ICYMI are costly to maintain (think: boarding your pet, dog walkers, etc.).

And I’m not sure if it’s millennials or younger generations, but I recall research on young people not having sex or dating much. I wonder if their marriage delay has anything to do with that…and online dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr PT is barely enough money for a teenager to cover extra curriculars and gas, let alone rent and food for a family.

They call it minimum wage for a reason. Who told you you should be able to afford rent and food for a family and non-public education on minimum wage?

Minimum wage is working poor/poverty level and it always has been.

Get some education get some skills.

Why are fast food places & grocery stores open M-F, 8am-4pm then? Shouldn’t they be closed during those hours?

Huh? Minimum wage is the lowest possible paying job. Why do you expect it to fund a desirable lifestyle? If you want to make more, get and education and skills and get a job like others do.

You didn’t answer the question. Why are those places open during those hours (school hours)? Who should work those establishments during those hours?

Are you dim witted? These jobs are only for people who can’t do better. No one under 18 should be working a minimum wage job instead of going to school except in the most dire of circumstances. Plenty of HS grads who do also are trying to advance themselves by going to school at night. And if you graduate from high school there are usually things you can do that make more. I don’t know why you are perseverating on minimum wage jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What millennial fail to understand is that to get ahead you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, to sacrifice, to curtail a social life, to work long hours for less than perfect pay, to juggle priorities, to SERVE something or someone other than yourself potentially for quite a while. They want it to be easy, comfortable, instant, rewarding, acknowledged, all the things.

That is BS. They have realized the getting ahead is largely stacked by nepotism, favoritism of people like “the boss”, and the like. Hard work is overrated. It’s more obvious now that we can see people’s backgrounds on LinkedIn and Facebook and can connect the dots of why so and so got ahead.

So? You think this is new? That earlier generations didn’t face the same issue? It was worse when black people and women were explicitly not allowed into most schools and positions. That part is obviously better now even with residual uneven playing field. You think opting out of the e fair economy is going to get you…more? How, exactly, does that work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article. I read it - and to PPs, I don’t think it is people moaning at all. It is about how life if different for today’s 40 year olds - objectively different, from the sorts of crises we have experienced in recent times, to the cost of housing, the aging population, etc. The headline refers to the idea that the pop culture mid life crisis where a guy buys a flashy car and runs away with a younger woman is unlikely for today’s 40 something men, who may have only just got married/had kids for the first time.

Agreed. And it IS different.

Not sure why so many of the PPs are so miserable.
-I'm Gen X

I had a VERY rough start as a young person in DC and yes I got out of the corporate rat race as a single Mom and built an empire. It's possible but you have to be ballsy.

Good for you! What kind of empire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What millennial fail to understand is that to get ahead you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, to sacrifice, to curtail a social life, to work long hours for less than perfect pay, to juggle priorities, to SERVE something or someone other than yourself potentially for quite a while. They want it to be easy, comfortable, instant, rewarding, acknowledged, all the things.

That is BS. They have realized the getting ahead is largely stacked by nepotism, favoritism of people like “the boss”, and the like. Hard work is overrated. It’s more obvious now that we can see people’s backgrounds on LinkedIn and Facebook and can connect the dots of why so and so got ahead.

You're right that hard work isn't rewarded because no one cares how hard you think you work. Produce valuable outputs, that's what's rewarded. And strategize your career to get ahead, yes that means schmoozing the boss.

You're basically proving PPs point that you want success without sacrifice or serving.

I like how you pivot from being uncomfortable and sacrifice to produce valuable outputs and schmoozing. Sure, I have worked long hours and had great results, and had my boss take credit and then go out with his Lacrosse buddy for drinks while asking me to work late. Get real.

You get real. Either find a new boss or learn how to get the attitude and experience you need to advance with this one. Whining will not help you.

[Anonymous]

I want an answer to this question: when has there every been a better time for women, minorities and people are LGBTQ? I’ll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr PT is barely enough money for a teenager to cover extra curriculars and gas, let alone rent and food for a family.

They call it minimum wage for a reason. Who told you you should be able to afford rent and food for a family and non-public education on minimum wage?

Minimum wage is working poor/poverty level and it always has been.

Get some education get some skills.

FDR: https://publicpolicy.pepperdine.edu/blog/posts/what-did-fdr-mean-by-a-living-wage.htm

This is a different issue. What you’re describing is the evaporation of low skilled middle class manufacturing jobs, not minimum wage. OP seems to think they should be able to afford a nice lifestyle on minimum wage. The other thing that really hampers people who live in places like the rust belt and New England where manufacturing jobs have died out, is that they are often unwilling to relocate or retool to get different middle class jobs. Hence the high rates of alcoholism and opiate use in these areas. They are so deeply attached to community and geography at the expense of their survival.

It’s actually the same issue. The people who would’ve been working those low skilled middle class manufacturing jobs, if those jobs were in existence today, are the same people working the cash register at Walmart or McDonald’s. Because, as you stated, those manufacturing jobs have evaporated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr PT is barely enough money for a teenager to cover extra curriculars and gas, let alone rent and food for a family.

They call it minimum wage for a reason. Who told you you should be able to afford rent and food for a family and non-public education on minimum wage?

Minimum wage is working poor/poverty level and it always has been.

Get some education get some skills.

FDR: https://publicpolicy.pepperdine.edu/blog/posts/what-did-fdr-mean-by-a-living-wage.htm

This is a different issue. What you’re describing is the evaporation of low skilled middle class manufacturing jobs, not minimum wage. OP seems to think they should be able to afford a nice lifestyle on minimum wage. The other thing that really hampers people who live in places like the rust belt and New England where manufacturing jobs have died out, is that they are often unwilling to relocate or retool to get different middle class jobs. Hence the high rates of alcoholism and opiate use in these areas. They are so deeply attached to community and geography at the expense of their survival.

Jesus Christ. I bet you’re still sitting there twiddling your thumbs, wondering why Trump won.