NYT Opinion Piece: This Isn’t What Millennial Middle Age Was Supposed To Look Like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article. I read it - and to PPs, I don’t think it is people moaning at all. It is about how life if different for today’s 40 year olds - objectively different, from the sorts of crises we have experienced in recent times, to the cost of housing, the aging population, etc. The headline refers to the idea that the pop culture mid life crisis where a guy buys a flashy car and runs away with a younger woman is unlikely for today’s 40 something men, who may have only just got married/had kids for the first time.

Yes, people are choosing to have kids extremely late in life. And it doesn’t save money when you add in the cost of IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I don't pay to read news. It's part of my "adulting"

That actually makes you a child

Or does paying for news make you a really really old person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I don't pay to read news. It's part of my "adulting"

That actually makes you a child

Or does paying for news make you a really really old person?

If supporting higher quality news content by paying for it makes you an old person then so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I don't pay to read news. It's part of my "adulting"

That actually makes you a child

Or does paying for news make you a really really old person?

I wear my mantle of elder with pride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article. I read it - and to PPs, I don’t think it is people moaning at all. It is about how life if different for today’s 40 year olds - objectively different, from the sorts of crises we have experienced in recent times, to the cost of housing, the aging population, etc. The headline refers to the idea that the pop culture mid life crisis where a guy buys a flashy car and runs away with a younger woman is unlikely for today’s 40 something men, who may have only just got married/had kids for the first time.

Yes, people are choosing to have kids extremely late in life. And it doesn’t save money when you add in the cost of IVF.

The article was kind of nuts. The ObGyn mom had a series of job snafus, and eventually moved to JAPAN to just get health care, and then decided, "let's have the third!". I mean, we have 3 kids, but have boring stable jobs, no debt, and have never been laid off.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was a good article.

I am an early millennial who is married, home, and one kid. It's not fully expected or achievable any more.

And, my parents had a comparable home in this area, but many MORE kids (3) and lower-paying jobs (GS-13 equivalent military and SAHM who later worked PT as teacher, versus us today as two GS-15 level).

Also, unless people understand student loans, they don't fully understand the ramifications.

People don't really get how student loans can impact their life even when it's explained to them, when younger people have asked me advice about career tracks, etc.

I have a graduate degree that is not the most prestigious but these many years out career counts much more. Going for highest "prestige" can mean more stress and negative impacts to present and future (savings for kid etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was a good article.

I am an early millennial who is married, home, and one kid. It's not fully expected or achievable any more.

And, my parents had a comparable home in this area, but many MORE kids (3) and lower-paying jobs (GS-13 equivalent military and SAHM who later worked PT as teacher, versus us today as two GS-15 level).

Also, unless people understand student loans, they don't fully understand the ramifications.

People don't really get how student loans can impact their life even when it's explained to them, when younger people have asked me advice about career tracks, etc.

I have a graduate degree that is not the most prestigious but these many years out career counts much more. Going for highest "prestige" can mean more stress and negative impacts to present and future (savings for kid etc).

I think this is key. Teaching young people what debt is and somehow getting them to listen is important. But, as PP noted, younger adults are not necessarily inclined to hear that advice.

As for the statement that being married with home and kid isn't achievable anymore, it is. You have to be willing to do stuff for it, though. Like move to a lower COL.

[Anonymous]

I’m 38, married 11 years, have 3 kids, own my home, have a healthy retirement savings.

I’m absolutely dumbfounded by how few of my peers have progressed down the “normal” path of adulthood with me. I kept thinking they’d catch up to me at some point, but the door is closing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 38, married 11 years, have 3 kids, own my home, have a healthy retirement savings.

I’m absolutely dumbfounded by how few of my peers have progressed down the “normal” path of adulthood with me. I kept thinking they’d catch up to me at some point, but the door is closing.

Not everyone wants to marry or have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Behind paywall.

But if I can make an assumption based on the article title, it's someone complaining about life being unfair rather than acknowledging the mistakes of individual decisions.

I borrowed $19k for college.

I have paid back $24k.

I still owe almost $15k.

The only mistake I made was listening to every teacher over the years that drilled into my head that if you didn't go to college, you were a loser who would work at McDonalds for life. And of course, having the unfortunate timing of graduating college in 2008 when the whole god damn economy crashed.

Your comment is total out-of-touch Boomer energy. I wish a case of c.diff upon you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behind paywall.

But if I can make an assumption based on the article title, it's someone complaining about life being unfair rather than acknowledging the mistakes of individual decisions.

I borrowed $19k for college.

I have paid back $24k.

I still owe almost $15k.

The only mistake I made was listening to every teacher over the years that drilled into my head that if you didn't go to college, you were a loser who would work at McDonalds for life. And of course, having the unfortunate timing of graduating college in 2008 when the whole god damn economy crashed.

Your comment is total out-of-touch Boomer energy. I wish a case of c.diff upon you.

Just to be clear, we’re talking about federal student loans in your name, correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behind paywall.

But if I can make an assumption based on the article title, it's someone complaining about life being unfair rather than acknowledging the mistakes of individual decisions.

I borrowed $19k for college.

I have paid back $24k.

I still owe almost $15k.

The only mistake I made was listening to every teacher over the years that drilled into my head that if you didn't go to college, you were a loser who would work at McDonalds for life. And of course, having the unfortunate timing of graduating college in 2008 when the whole god damn economy crashed.

Your comment is total out-of-touch Boomer energy. I wish a case of c.diff upon you.

What did you major in? If it’s something so low paying that you’re in that situation it’s probably a PSLF-eligible job. Post your budget.

[Anonymous]

As A Gen Xer, I am unsurprised that the millennial whining continues into middle age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 38, married 11 years, have 3 kids, own my home, have a healthy retirement savings.

I’m absolutely dumbfounded by how few of my peers have progressed down the “normal” path of adulthood with me. I kept thinking they’d catch up to me at some point, but the door is closing.

I am 35 and nobody in my orbit was talking marriage at 27. It feels like it took my circle (myself included) until 30 to start "growing up" - I was married at 31 and that was the first of my friend group.

[Anonymous]

I'm an older millennial or younger Generation X depending on how you divide them and haven't read the article. Also, I took out student loans for law school and have paid them off.

But I do think people now entering middle age with student loans got kind of screwed and it's one of the reasons I support loan forgiveness coupled with totally overhauling how we pay for higher ed, even though it won't benefit me personally.

It just seems crazy that we as a society decided it was okay for 18 year olds to take out hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans with no underlying transferable asset (you can't sell someone your degree) and we think that's normal. I think my loans were different -- I took them out for a graduate degree with more value on the market, I was older when I took them out and I better understood what it would mean to repay them. But student loans for undergraduates, or for these schools with dicy cost-benefit promises (like community college or these for-profit colleges) just seems usurious to me.

I get why someone approaching 40 now who is still paying off those loans while also trying to buy a home and save for their own kids college would be really frustrated by that. People who let their kids take out loans like that without sitting them down and coming up with a plan for repayment first, were bad parents. It's just a really irresponsible thing to let a 17/18 yr old make that choice. It will haunt them for decades. And then schools and lenders profited off it -- the availability of student loans drove up the cost of higher education, and there are a bunch of very unethical businesses that have made a killing off servicing these loans and making it as hard as possible for people to pay them off or discharge them. It's really disturbing. I think people should be mad. They were taken advantage of.