Feel like a fish out of water in Vienna

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

You wanted eight acquaintances at a birthday dinner in a restaurant to talk about their most embarrassing moments to laugh over, or let out some catty comments about people to laugh at, tell stories about their wild college days?

This sounds way more fun that talking about all the kids that won’t get into TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

Must be your group and the people you attract. Not a lot of parents send their kids to TJ from Vienna. It's too far. They do private or local schools. I've had two discussions about TJ in the 20 years I've lived here and I'm one of the moms that OP wouldn't like. It's a good school and worth looking into but only for the right kid. I think that's pretty normal for any part of Virginia since there are Governor's schools all over the state.

The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

Must be your group and the people you attract. Not a lot of parents send their kids to TJ from Vienna. It's too far. They do private or local schools. I've had two discussions about TJ in the 20 years I've lived here and I'm one of the moms that OP wouldn't like. It's a good school and worth looking into but only for the right kid. I think that's pretty normal for any part of Virginia since there are Governor's schools all over the state.

The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Takoma Park or Gaithersburg/Rockville area? I'd also say Reston or Herndon might work better for you. A lot of Virginia further south is less liberal so probably avoid those areas.

See I find Takoma Park just as conformist but in a different way. But if you like that vibe, it's the best place for you.

There really are too many people in the Vienna/Tysons/Dunn Loring area for someone to not find a clan they can relate to if they try.

Yes to this. The Vienna/Tysons/Dunn Loring area is overflowing with so many people. Just as most of N. VA is. Anyone who can't find people they can relate to is the problem themselves.
And generalizing about an entire area and then coming to hard conclusion based on those generalizations as OP and other posters have done is just how my daughter and her friends see the world, but they are in middle school. "But mom everyone acts that way ... "!
I believe that if you want to have adult conversations and relationships one must first act like an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

Must be your group and the people you attract. Not a lot of parents send their kids to TJ from Vienna. It's too far. They do private or local schools. I've had two discussions about TJ in the 20 years I've lived here and I'm one of the moms that OP wouldn't like. It's a good school and worth looking into but only for the right kid. I think that's pretty normal for any part of Virginia since there are Governor's schools all over the state.

The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

[Anonymous]

For real OP, some of us are down to earth and fun. How do we meet up and form real friendships? That would be a fun DCUM success story.

[Anonymous]

Also, how can Fairfax County schools be in a state of decline to some and Madison a GS 6, and yet somehow in the same breadth Vienna is a cutthroat academic place to OP? It doesn't add up. It's simply a suburban area with a little less mobility than the average Fairfax County town with two well-regarded decently large high schools that have two different academic programs to choose from. If you want diversity you can find it and if you want conformity you can find it. There are seven metro stations surrounding Vienna. Hop aboard and go visit another area if it's so suffocating. I hear kids in DC travel all over the city to attend different high schools. I really don't know what people expect of a mostly single-family neighborhood in a metro area where the average cost of a home is close to $1 million. That pretty much says what the area is like. It's also very popular, so you can sell your home without a misstep.

[Anonymous]

Why do parts of me feel like the weird posts agreeing with OP is simply OP replying to herself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

Must be your group and the people you attract. Not a lot of parents send their kids to TJ from Vienna. It's too far. They do private or local schools. I've had two discussions about TJ in the 20 years I've lived here and I'm one of the moms that OP wouldn't like. It's a good school and worth looking into but only for the right kid. I think that's pretty normal for any part of Virginia since there are Governor's schools all over the state.

The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

That would be you not being comfortable with the fact that Vienna has more white people than other areas of DC. You are projecting again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do parts of me feel like the weird posts agreeing with OP is simply OP replying to herself?

I was thinking the same thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

Must be your group and the people you attract. Not a lot of parents send their kids to TJ from Vienna. It's too far. They do private or local schools. I've had two discussions about TJ in the 20 years I've lived here and I'm one of the moms that OP wouldn't like. It's a good school and worth looking into but only for the right kid. I think that's pretty normal for any part of Virginia since there are Governor's schools all over the state.

The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

That would be you not being comfortable with the fact that Vienna has more white people than other areas of DC. You are projecting again.

Please stop. Cringe cringe cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

Yeah yikes. I'm from Vienna and have found good people here. The community feel is incredible for kids to grow up in. I'm sorry the OP hasn't found her niche yet and hope she does. But that last bit is extraordinary.

Please think about the kind of baked-in thinking that comes with referencing "other races" as if the working assumption were white. Particularly in a conversation about "strivers," itself rife with controversy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

Yeah yikes. I'm from Vienna and have found good people here. The community feel is incredible for kids to grow up in. I'm sorry the OP hasn't found her niche yet and hope she does. But that last bit is extraordinary.

Please think about the kind of baked-in thinking that comes with referencing "other races" as if the working assumption were white. Particularly in a conversation about "strivers," itself rife with controversy.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. I live not too far away though not Vienna. A year after moving in, I thought I'd invite some Mom acquaintances out. It was my birthday. I was inviting them. Eight to a nearby restaurant. There was good food, drinks. I thought we'd all loosen up and get to know each other. Laugh. Connect. Nope, it was the same talk. Same talk as always, teachers, AAP, getting into TJ. No fun. No fun at all even adding alcohol and music.

Must be your group and the people you attract. Not a lot of parents send their kids to TJ from Vienna. It's too far. They do private or local schools. I've had two discussions about TJ in the 20 years I've lived here and I'm one of the moms that OP wouldn't like. It's a good school and worth looking into but only for the right kid. I think that's pretty normal for any part of Virginia since there are Governor's schools all over the state.

The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

That would be you not being comfortable with the fact that Vienna has more white people than other areas of DC. You are projecting again.

Please stop. Cringe cringe cringe.

No. Go to any FCPS regional meeting and you will meet parents who simply do not care about the mental health effects of TJ to the same level as OP. Of any race. Nor do they make issues about race. In fact, they just changed the rules of that school so more regions could get in easier so it's not the pariah of schools in other districts that OP thinks it is. I'm not saying TJ is good or bad, but Vienna parents do not place a larger emphasis on this school compared to any other district in FCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The funny thing is when I go to other school districts and talk to moms I meet through activities or FCPS, there is way more talk about TJ and other high-achieving draws than in Vienna where there is more money and people don't have to strive too hard. Many more strivers especially of other races. They didn't get the memo that it's cool to look like you don't care about academics.

Dear god the racism at the end. I love Vienna so much but geez you’re embarrassing us.

Yeah yikes. I'm from Vienna and have found good people here. The community feel is incredible for kids to grow up in. I'm sorry the OP hasn't found her niche yet and hope she does. But that last bit is extraordinary.

Please think about the kind of baked-in thinking that comes with referencing "other races" as if the working assumption were white. Particularly in a conversation about "strivers," itself rife with controversy.

OP specifically said she doesn't like the striver vibe of Vienna. So it's an appropriate reference.