We are broke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you can declare you are not going back to teaching when that’s what you are most qualified to do. I’d get a part time job at your kids’ school district - that’s what many of my ex-teacher friends do (teacher’s aid, part time librarian, etc).

Go to your local public elementary school and tell them you are available to work half-time, starting immediately (sounds like your own kids will be in ES soon). Even if you make $10,000, that sounds like that could make a real difference and get you on track to move into something full-time when your kids are older.

On breaks from school, figure out something you can do to bring in extra money. Be creative -- you could run a mini-Winter Break camp out of your house with two other kids and your own kids. People in this area are desperate for summer child care. Over the summer, you could drive kids to and from camp and have the rest of the day available for your own kids. Tutor virtually for a few hours a week. People are far more open to virtual tutoring post-COVID.

I'm sorry you've had a rough year. I'm a former teacher and DS is a teacher, and we know very well how hard it is to make ends meet in this area on teacher pay.

[Anonymous]

Those of you telling OP to get a 70k teaching job and get an au pair are not thinking it through. Her take-home pay would barely cover the expense (as others have said expenses are usually much higher than anticipated, plus she has a small home) and she is unlikely to gain much ground. She should cut any and all unnecessary expenses, including preschool, but doesn't want to so that's her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you telling OP to get a 70k teaching job and get an au pair are not thinking it through. Her take-home pay would barely cover the expense (as others have said expenses are usually much higher than anticipated, plus she has a small home) and she is unlikely to gain much ground. She should cut any and all unnecessary expenses, including preschool, but doesn't want to so that's her choice.

I also don't understand why she would need an au pair, isn't there just one kid in preschool? If you work fulltime just put them in daycare, which I know if not "cheap" but it would cost less than an au pair (particularly for a non-infant). But it seems like a part-time job at the ES as a para, etc. might be less stress right now and then get something fulltime once your youngest goes to school.

[Anonymous]

Sell the house and ring and live below your means. Rent for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and ring and live below your means. Rent for now.

Rents are high now, unlikely to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and ring and live below your means. Rent for now.

Rents are high now, unlikely to help.

If you bought before mortgage rates rose, then it is a bad descision

You are poor, therefore you cannot afford to be sick
Buy the most expensive toothbrush: cheaper than a dentist
You might be broke, that doesn’t mean you have to be dirty
Clean everything and pay attention to hygiene

[Anonymous]

You should look for remote educational consulting jobs - like a curriculum companies.

Follow all the debt free people you can on instagram. I hate Dave Ramsey but like Dellyanne the Money Coach and Personal Finance Blog

See if you husband can switch jobs for more money.

Post your budget here we can help. Or use Mint or other budgeting software to get your spending under control

[Anonymous]

I suspect OP lives a flashy life beyond her means, judging by the statement that she lives in a close in suburb, doesn't work, has 4 kids and a $50K engagement ring. All of this taken together is giving "Bethesda or Chevy Chase soccer mom who is keeping up with the Joneses."

[Anonymous]

I truly wonder about people who choose to have so many kids. The only way to really make it work is if you are legit rich. Its like these people think they are so special that they never even consider how they will manage if their children end up having special needs.

I've seen many large families basically tipped over the edge when one of their kids has special needs and they aren't able to handle it because they are maxed out in literally every area of their lives.

[Anonymous]

I truly wonder about people who choose to have so many kids. The only way to really make it work is if you are legit rich. Its like these people think they are so special that they never even consider how they will manage if their children end up having special needs.

I've seen many large families basically tipped over the edge when one of their kids has special needs and they aren't able to handle it because they are maxed out in literally every area of their lives.

It doesn't even take a special needs kid. When the kids get to college age they end up taking out loans. This basically means the kids have to come back home and work off the loans. We have a family down the street like this. Four kids. It has been stressful for them. I would not chose that life.

[Anonymous]

I was in your situation at one time, except I had two kids in preschool. It was a desperate situation, and it requires some tough decisions, but the feeling of not being broke makes it all worth it! We moved to a LCOL first. We moved to Arizona from Los Angeles area. This made a huge impact with housing costs. Our mortgage was cut in half. We didn't want to leave CA but if you keep an open mind, it will be okay. I now love it here in AZ and wouldn't go back to CA. If you live in the DMV or some place expensive, you need to consider this option.

Secondly, you need to accept that you need to work despite all the challenges of having half day preschool. Stop the excuses because if there is a will there is a way. I got a full time job, and although the pay is not amazing, it is a meaningful job and the money helps immensely. I actually love the social aspects of working and the feeling of making my own money after being a SAHM.

In regards to childcare, we found a program here in AZ that offered care until 6:00 PM that was not much more tuition. It was through our public school district and my children loved it, even though I was hesitant about them being in childcare all day. I would highly suggest looking at some new preschool programs that include additional care. At the very least then you can substitute at your older child's school. If you can get your older child into the after care at their school then I would say start applying for full time jobs and bring home the money!!

I know I am making it seem easy, but I was desperate to feel financially secure and to not live in debt. Believe me, the feeling of having money for all your expenses is well worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly wonder about people who choose to have so many kids. The only way to really make it work is if you are legit rich. Its like these people think they are so special that they never even consider how they will manage if their children end up having special needs.

I've seen many large families basically tipped over the edge when one of their kids has special needs and they aren't able to handle it because they are maxed out in literally every area of their lives.

+1 Having more than 3 kids is for the very rich or very poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my kids are in different schools bc I have preschool and elementary aged kids. 2 more years until they’re all in elementary. Pre kids I was a public school teacher in a different city. I have a masters degree. I have no interest in returning to teaching. I will do anything work wise but I’m reluctant to take a job with strict hours. My husband has zero leave left after our year from h3ll. Happy to do some household repairs myself (like painting) but can’t replace the two broken windows on my own.

Substitute teach at the preschool to match hours. Is your masters degree in Special Education? If so, use your knowledge as an education advocate or assist with IEPs, or as a part time instructional coach at the elementary school to match the preschool hours.


Or you could always reduce the days in preschool, most part time preschools have 2, 3, and 5 day options. That may save money as well, and you can still sub there on the days your child attends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly wonder about people who choose to have so many kids. The only way to really make it work is if you are legit rich. Its like these people think they are so special that they never even consider how they will manage if their children end up having special needs.

I've seen many large families basically tipped over the edge when one of their kids has special needs and they aren't able to handle it because they are maxed out in literally every area of their lives.

+1 Having more than 3 kids is for the very rich or very poor.

Having more than two kids ...

[Anonymous]

Not reading this whole thread and read the first 2 or 3 replies. If the home repairs are covered by insurance get those claims in and talk to an independent adjuster on how much you should get. Get multiple quotes from reliable contractors and never schedule projects with multiple part. break them down and never pay more than half the cost at once so you don’t get scammed and even more broke.

Next start looking for a full time remote job. Anything that can be done remotely that requires your skills or almost your skills. You might have to learn a programming language or make an initial investment in your skills if you can’t find anything right away but You can do it! This is your time to shine, as a mom working has never been easier.