We are broke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the special needs therapies yourself. They aren’t rocket science. Many home repairs can be done yourself. All clothes shopping from thrift stores. GL!

DIY home repairs (I've fixed all my appliances sometimes twice over, except outsourcing the refrigerator compressor). My income is so much higher than it was when the kids just started school but I'm still shopping thrift stores. The day to day is financially minor if you cook in. It's all the outsourcing that has you on the hamster wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. The ring was $50k new over 20 years ago. No idea what it’s worth now. I was hoping for $20k but maybe that’s optimistic. We live in a small old house in a desirable close-in suburb. I do the cleaning and the yard work myself. We drive old cars and don’t take vacations. 4 kids. Oldest is 7. I think most assume we’re the smart, frugal types. When, in actuality, we’re just barely making ends meet these days. It wasn’t always this way. We had an incredibly difficult year. Our current after-school activities are cheap, nothing fancy. Christmas is going to be very different.

I will not pull my kid out of preschool. Routine and socialization are extremely important. I’ll get back to work asap. Spent all morning working on my resume and applications. Thanks for the encouragement.

Oh my god this is such a big red flag that I don't think anything else in this thread matters. And the fact that you think selling it might help you be less broke... bless your heart but you need to get to a financial advisor. You and your DH clearly are not capable of making good financial decisions. I know people are piling on you - but some people just do not have good sense when it comes to money and that's totally fine as long as you find someone who does to help you make decisions. Don't let pride get in your way. Do it for your kids.

"Christmas is going to be very different." Oh honey. Honey honey honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. The ring was $50k new over 20 years ago. No idea what it’s worth now. I was hoping for $20k but maybe that’s optimistic. We live in a small old house in a desirable close-in suburb. I do the cleaning and the yard work myself. We drive old cars and don’t take vacations. 4 kids. Oldest is 7. I think most assume we’re the smart, frugal types. When, in actuality, we’re just barely making ends meet these days. It wasn’t always this way. We had an incredibly difficult year. Our current after-school activities are cheap, nothing fancy. Christmas is going to be very different.

I will not pull my kid out of preschool. Routine and socialization are extremely important. I’ll get back to work asap. Spent all morning working on my resume and applications. Thanks for the encouragement.

Oh my god this is such a big red flag that I don't think anything else in this thread matters. And the fact that you think selling it might help you be less broke... bless your heart but you need to get to a financial advisor. You and your DH clearly are not capable of making good financial decisions. I know people are piling on you - but some people just do not have good sense when it comes to money and that's totally fine as long as you find someone who does to help you make decisions. Don't let pride get in your way. Do it for your kids.

"Christmas is going to be very different." Oh honey. Honey honey honey.

How does a broke person get a financial advisor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. The ring was $50k new over 20 years ago. No idea what it’s worth now. I was hoping for $20k but maybe that’s optimistic. We live in a small old house in a desirable close-in suburb. I do the cleaning and the yard work myself. We drive old cars and don’t take vacations. 4 kids. Oldest is 7. I think most assume we’re the smart, frugal types. When, in actuality, we’re just barely making ends meet these days. It wasn’t always this way. We had an incredibly difficult year. Our current after-school activities are cheap, nothing fancy. Christmas is going to be very different.

I will not pull my kid out of preschool. Routine and socialization are extremely important. I’ll get back to work asap. Spent all morning working on my resume and applications. Thanks for the encouragement.

20 years ago? Who paid for the ring initially? You? DH? Was it a family piece by any chance?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you can declare you are not going back to teaching when that’s what you are most qualified to do. I’d get a part time job at your kids’ school district - that’s what many of my ex-teacher friends do (teacher’s aid, part time librarian, etc).

[Anonymous]

Line up a full-time $70k+ teaching job asap.
Then get the $25k au pair. Have family or someone fill in until she arrives. (I was in a similar situation to you several years ago)
You’re a mom of 4. It’s irrelevant if you like to teach, just do it and make some good money (substitute pays garbage)
-fellow mom of 4 who’s had to suck it up several times during my career to support my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Line up a full-time $70k+ teaching job asap.
Then get the $25k au pair. Have family or someone fill in until she arrives. (I was in a similar situation to you several years ago)
You’re a mom of 4. It’s irrelevant if you like to teach, just do it and make some good money (substitute pays garbage)
-fellow mom of 4 who’s had to suck it up several times during my career to support my family

Don’t lots of other jobs pay $70k? With a lot less stress and take-home work? Teaching sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Line up a full-time $70k+ teaching job asap.
Then get the $25k au pair. Have family or someone fill in until she arrives. (I was in a similar situation to you several years ago)
You’re a mom of 4. It’s irrelevant if you like to teach, just do it and make some good money (substitute pays garbage)
-fellow mom of 4 who’s had to suck it up several times during my career to support my family

Don’t lots of other jobs pay $70k? With a lot less stress and take-home work? Teaching sucks.

Then get one of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get an adjunct job for evenings at a local college. It’s not a great salary, but it’s very flexible and you can do it after your partner returns from work or while the kids are in preschool. Do that until they are all in school and then move to full time work.

That pays next to nothing, and OP probably isn’t qualified anyway.

Not a great salary, but the adjuncts i know make anywhere from $35-50/ hour with part time evening hours. Establishing a tutoring business takes time. Plus people want hours from 3-6 for tutoring snd she’ll have to hire a babysitter. She either needs to go back to work full time though, prob as a teacher.

Even if she can get $35 (since she doesn’t appear to have any adjunct teaching experience), if she gets two course sections that’s likely 6 hours a week, so about $210 a week pre-tax.

Do you know how much grading and prep there is? She would make more at Starbucks hourly.

1. Montgomery College adjuncts are union. A three credit course pays about $4000 over the course of the semester. I think a semester is 14 weeks. Two courses would be $8K for the spring. That's certainly enough for the window repair.

2. There are often noncredit classes at most community colleges that do not have grading and have very little prep.

3. You might make more working at Starbucks, but if she has to pay childcare when the manager changes her shift, what does she do then? How does she manage drop-off and pick-up? How many managers do you know will schedule a Starbucks employee for the 10am - 12 pm slot only while their kid is at preschool? Also most community colleges now have online classes you can teach from home.

I was an adjunct. You do not understand the amount of time teaching takes: it is not just the hours of the class. Teaching online is more difficult than in person. I have broken it down hourly and a barista is paid more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my kids are in different schools bc I have preschool and elementary aged kids. 2 more years until they’re all in elementary. Pre kids I was a public school teacher in a different city. I have a masters degree. I have no interest in returning to teaching. I will do anything work wise but I’m reluctant to take a job with strict hours. My husband has zero leave left after our year from h3ll. Happy to do some household repairs myself (like painting) but can’t replace the two broken windows on my own.

Go to the library and get a few DIY books. They can help with the windows. They can help you fix other things. That is what we do.

Potential jobs:
working at pre-school- generally you get free tuition and a little money- the hours work.
Tutoring on the weekends and in the evenings when your DH is home. - you could do very limited hours -

[Anonymous]

I wonder if there's any way you could move closer to family, to get through this stage of life? It is such a challenge, and it does get easier, but an additional set of hands would be so helpful right now.

Going back to work may not be worth it, unless you are a high earner. I am a working mom, and I wish I had spent those early years at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Line up a full-time $70k+ teaching job asap.
Then get the $25k au pair. Have family or someone fill in until she arrives. (I was in a similar situation to you several years ago)
You’re a mom of 4. It’s irrelevant if you like to teach, just do it and make some good money (substitute pays garbage)
-fellow mom of 4 who’s had to suck it up several times during my career to support my family

Don’t lots of other jobs pay $70k? With a lot less stress and take-home work? Teaching sucks.

Not that have summers, snow days, and winter/spring breaks off. She has 4 young kids. Childcare costs are going to be astronomical if she goes into anything BUT teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Line up a full-time $70k+ teaching job asap.
Then get the $25k au pair. Have family or someone fill in until she arrives. (I was in a similar situation to you several years ago)
You’re a mom of 4. It’s irrelevant if you like to teach, just do it and make some good money (substitute pays garbage)
-fellow mom of 4 who’s had to suck it up several times during my career to support my family

Don’t lots of other jobs pay $70k? With a lot less stress and take-home work? Teaching sucks.

Not that have summers, snow days, and winter/spring breaks off. She has 4 young kids. Childcare costs are going to be astronomical if she goes into anything BUT teaching.

That’s where the au pair comes in I guess. I can understand not wanting to teach elementary school all day and then go home to 4 kids that young. Sounds utterly exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get an adjunct job for evenings at a local college. It’s not a great salary, but it’s very flexible and you can do it after your partner returns from work or while the kids are in preschool. Do that until they are all in school and then move to full time work.

That pays next to nothing, and OP probably isn’t qualified anyway.

Not a great salary, but the adjuncts i know make anywhere from $35-50/ hour with part time evening hours. Establishing a tutoring business takes time. Plus people want hours from 3-6 for tutoring snd she’ll have to hire a babysitter. She either needs to go back to work full time though, prob as a teacher.

Even if she can get $35 (since she doesn’t appear to have any adjunct teaching experience), if she gets two course sections that’s likely 6 hours a week, so about $210 a week pre-tax.

Do you know how much grading and prep there is? She would make more at Starbucks hourly.

1. Montgomery College adjuncts are union. A three credit course pays about $4000 over the course of the semester. I think a semester is 14 weeks. Two courses would be $8K for the spring. That's certainly enough for the window repair.

2. There are often noncredit classes at most community colleges that do not have grading and have very little prep.

3. You might make more working at Starbucks, but if she has to pay childcare when the manager changes her shift, what does she do then? How does she manage drop-off and pick-up? How many managers do you know will schedule a Starbucks employee for the 10am - 12 pm slot only while their kid is at preschool? Also most community colleges now have online classes you can teach from home.

I was an adjunct. You do not understand the amount of time teaching takes: it is not just the hours of the class. Teaching online is more difficult than in person. I have broken it down hourly and a barista is paid more.

I was and I still am an adjunct. I definitely understand the challenges plus the flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you've had a bad year OP. I had a similar situation a few years ago. A few things that I didn't see mentioned:

- I made a lot more than expected selling things we didn't need on Facebook marketplace

- DH and I charged scooters at night

- I did Amazon Flex delivery

- I looked into tutoring kids in China because the hours were better, but I did not end up doing it

- I made some surprisingly good money participating in market research with dscout

- We scaled back to 1 car

- I did a preschool coop which was ridiculously cheap and I just had to help for a few hours about twice a month

- Have not done this yet, but plan to switch to Mint Mobile. It is much cheaper than most phone plans and gets good reviews.

Good luck OP. Remember this is temporary; you'll get through this. We paid out over $100k in debt and drastically improved our cash flow.

Wow. You're awesome! Great ideas here too.