We are broke

[Anonymous]

We’re on one income. We have little kids, including one with special needs. No local family. No help. Money has always been tight. But this year wrecked us. Unexpected home repairs (in addition to the expected home repairs), medical bills, and a family emergency depleted our savings and left us with credit card debt and a heloc. I’ve been reading Dave Ramsey’s book and it’s hard not to feel completely hopeless. There are more home repairs that need to be done. I’d love to work but I need good, reliable childcare which is $$$. All the kids are in school but not all at the same school. There are therapies to get to and after-school activities. It feels like somebody is always sick too. I just feel so stuck.

I’m considering selling my engagement ring and using the $ to get an au pair so I can go back to work while still having somebody around the house all the time. Also considering selling the house and moving somewhere else. Last thought was to pull money from somewhere - $401k?

[Anonymous]

Your interest rate will probably double if you move, so not sure housing costs will actually go down much.

If you have space to host an au pair, rent tag at out to rebuild your finances. Either by hiring childcare and getting a job or just saving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your interest rate will probably double if you move, so not sure housing costs will actually go down much.

If you have space to host an au pair, rent [b]that out to rebuild your finances. Either by hiring childcare and getting a job or just saving.

Fixed a typo

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your struggles.

Just a quick reality check. Having an au pair will cost you roughly 25k a year (agency fees, weekly stipend, transportation, food, small perks, etc). It will be a few months before one arrives, unless you get an in-country au pair. So the time horizon may or may not work for your family.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for your struggle but no one can give you any meaningful advice based on what you told us. Other than the fact you need money, there's no useful info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re on one income. We have little kids, including one with special needs. No local family. No help. Money has always been tight. But this year wrecked us. Unexpected home repairs (in addition to the expected home repairs), medical bills, and a family emergency depleted our savings and left us with credit card debt and a heloc. I’ve been reading Dave Ramsey’s book and it’s hard not to feel completely hopeless. There are more home repairs that need to be done. I’d love to work but I need good, reliable childcare which is $$$. All the kids are in school but not all at the same school. There are therapies to get to and after-school activities. It feels like somebody is always sick too. I just feel so stuck.

I’m considering selling my engagement ring and using the $ to get an au pair so I can go back to work while still having somebody around the house all the time. Also considering selling the house and moving somewhere else. Last thought was to pull money from somewhere - $401k?

Even if you just work retail/bank teller from 9-3 while the kids are in school, that would be more money than you have now. Start there.

[Anonymous]

I would sell my house and rent. You can't afford your house with all the other expenses. And I would move to a lcol if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re on one income. We have little kids, including one with special needs. No local family. No help. Money has always been tight. But this year wrecked us. Unexpected home repairs (in addition to the expected home repairs), medical bills, and a family emergency depleted our savings and left us with credit card debt and a heloc. I’ve been reading Dave Ramsey’s book and it’s hard not to feel completely hopeless. There are more home repairs that need to be done. I’d love to work but I need good, reliable childcare which is $$$. All the kids are in school but not all at the same school. There are therapies to get to and after-school activities. It feels like somebody is always sick too. I just feel so stuck.

I’m considering selling my engagement ring and using the $ to get an au pair so I can go back to work while still having somebody around the house all the time. Also considering selling the house and moving somewhere else. Last thought was to pull money from somewhere - $401k?

Even if you just work retail/bank teller from 9-3 while the kids are in school, that would be more money than you have now. Start there.

I think you overestimate the reliability of having a part time job that fill all the kids' in-school hours. I have only been able to do spotty freelance. Especially when you are starting out because you can't take off when anyone (including yourself) is sick.

[Anonymous]

Do the special needs therapies yourself. They aren’t rocket science. Many home repairs can be done yourself. All clothes shopping from thrift stores. GL!

[Anonymous]

Definitely agree that you should look for a job asap but an Au pair will have a lot of upfront costs that your engagement ring unless pretty high end may not cover (and you’ll likely take a huge hit on resale). With elementary aged kids I’m not clear why you need someone around full time, even accounting for special needs/illness. Your spouse (who presumably hasn’t had to burn leave days for sick kids/child care/medical appointments in recent years while you were staying home) will just have to start using some while you build up a balance. Even if for some reason that’s truly not an option there are definitely cheaper options than having a near full time employee on call in the event of a sick kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your struggles.

Just a quick reality check. Having an au pair will cost you roughly 25k a year (agency fees, weekly stipend, transportation, food, small perks, etc). It will be a few months before one arrives, unless you get an in-country au pair. So the time horizon may or may not work for your family.

+1 au pair is an expensive option when it’s all said and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re on one income. We have little kids, including one with special needs. No local family. No help. Money has always been tight. But this year wrecked us. Unexpected home repairs (in addition to the expected home repairs), medical bills, and a family emergency depleted our savings and left us with credit card debt and a heloc. I’ve been reading Dave Ramsey’s book and it’s hard not to feel completely hopeless. There are more home repairs that need to be done. I’d love to work but I need good, reliable childcare which is $$$. All the kids are in school but not all at the same school. There are therapies to get to and after-school activities. It feels like somebody is always sick too. I just feel so stuck.

I’m considering selling my engagement ring and using the $ to get an au pair so I can go back to work while still having somebody around the house all the time. Also considering selling the house and moving somewhere else. Last thought was to pull money from somewhere - $401k?

Even if you just work retail/bank teller from 9-3 while the kids are in school, that would be more money than you have now. Start there.

I think you overestimate the reliability of having a part time job that fill all the kids' in-school hours. I have only been able to do spotty freelance. Especially when you are starting out because you can't take off when anyone (including yourself) is sick.

Freelance is different bc you are trying to build a name for yourself or a client base. Retail you just don’t go and if you get fired, you move to the next store and start there. Even if she only works two weeks before she gets fired for having a sick kid, that is $200 extra. It won’t change her life but, done a few times when she is able, it could be enough to draw the worst of the sting.

[Anonymous]

What kind of home repairs are we talking? Devastatingly bad? HVAC? Roof leaking? Please provide perspective as to these on the immediate horizon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely agree that you should look for a job asap but an Au pair will have a lot of upfront costs that your engagement ring unless pretty high end may not cover (and you’ll likely take a huge hit on resale). With elementary aged kids I’m not clear why you need someone around full time, even accounting for special needs/illness. Your spouse (who presumably hasn’t had to burn leave days for sick kids/child care/medical appointments in recent years while you were staying home) will just have to start using some while you build up a balance. Even if for some reason that’s truly not an option there are definitely cheaper options than having a near full time employee on call in the event of a sick kid.

And getting kids (especially little ones) to specialized after school activities is a luxury that it sounds like you can’t afford. Figure out the cheapest after school care option, preferably through their home school. Medical appointments for special needs are a different matter, but this is where your spouse needs to step in to enable you to return to work.

[Anonymous]

I've read and followed some of Ramsey's philosophies. He's great for getting out of debt, bad for long term investing.

Are you willing to post your budget here? There are probably places to cut and rearrange so you aren't broke. You may need to get a job opposite your DH so that you can bring in some income as well. Retail is hiring like mad and would be getting paid almost immediately.

You need a snowball to pay off the debt, but you need an emergency fund first.