We are broke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re on one income. We have little kids, including one with special needs. No local family. No help. Money has always been tight. But this year wrecked us. Unexpected home repairs (in addition to the expected home repairs), medical bills, and a family emergency depleted our savings and left us with credit card debt and a heloc. I’ve been reading Dave Ramsey’s book and it’s hard not to feel completely hopeless. There are more home repairs that need to be done. I’d love to work but I need good, reliable childcare which is $$$. All the kids are in school but not all at the same school. There are therapies to get to and after-school activities. It feels like somebody is always sick too. I just feel so stuck.

I’m considering selling my engagement ring and using the $ to get an au pair so I can go back to work while still having somebody around the house all the time. Also considering selling the house and moving somewhere else. Last thought was to pull money from somewhere - $401k?

For the home repairs just put some elbow grease and learn to do them yourself. Almost all home repairs can be done by someone with some time and effort. Watch YouTube videos, talk to local experts (they are usually happy to give guidance). It’s not rocket science, just takes motivation and effort. I had a friend who was unemployed for a full year and started doing his own much needed home projects. He had no skill or training. Added over 100k in value to the house over the year. Sold it and bought a fixer upper, and is working on it now as a side gig. The value per hour is high.

[Anonymous]

Activities? No. Do after school childcare and get a job.

[Anonymous]

Cut the after school activities. That is a luxury, not a necessity. How old are the kids? They are all in school and you sit at home and do nothing?!? Get a job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the special needs therapies yourself. They aren’t rocket science. Many home repairs can be done yourself. All clothes shopping from thrift stores. GL!

As a fellow autism mom the only therapies that my kid got anything o of was 3 to 1 or even larger group work!

[Anonymous]

Can you get a remote job?

[Anonymous]

I love Dave Ramsey! He is very motivating. Sit down and make your budget. Sounds like there are things that can be cut. Home repairs are generally not necessities. As a previous poster said— you need to save an emergency fund and then start the debt snowball. If your kids are in school, you need to start working ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Can you consolidate kids into one school? If so, perhaps you can work at an aftercare program and get free aftercare for your kids. You need to cut back on activities and unnecessary fees.

Don’t give up your low mortgage rate. Housing is so expensive right now, the rental market is brutal for family-sized housing in areas with decent schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re on one income. We have little kids, including one with special needs. No local family. No help. Money has always been tight. But this year wrecked us. Unexpected home repairs (in addition to the expected home repairs), medical bills, and a family emergency depleted our savings and left us with credit card debt and a heloc. I’ve been reading Dave Ramsey’s book and it’s hard not to feel completely hopeless. There are more home repairs that need to be done. I’d love to work but I need good, reliable childcare which is $$$. All the kids are in school but not all at the same school. There are therapies to get to and after-school activities. It feels like somebody is always sick too. I just feel so stuck.

I’m considering selling my engagement ring and using the $ to get an au pair so I can go back to work while still having somebody around the house all the time. Also considering selling the house and moving somewhere else. Last thought was to pull money from somewhere - $401k?

Not a huge fan of Dave Ramsey although I understand his viewpoints. I think you may need to look at debt-free mom on IG. She is realistic, has multiple children, took their debt down, and grew savings. If you can get good money for your ring, sell it and pay off the CC debt. Re-evaluate your health insurance options, if you can. GL.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a good 4-5 hours a day while your kids are in school. Look around for some part-time work. You could bring in several hundred dollars per week if you find the right job. Anything is better than nothing.

[Anonymous]

Get a job at one of your kid's schools, preferably the kid who needs the most help. Get an assistant teacher job or something like that so that you come and go at school hours. Schools are desperate for help. School staff are also extremely empathetic to child/childcare/doctor appointment situations and will flex when you need that to happen. You also get vacation when your kids are on vacation.

Also take your kids out of after school activities (you cannot afford them unless they are after care that you need to use).

Your other option is to work when your husband is not working so that you can share child care duties. This could be a short term thing during the Xmas retail season or until you get a better job.

Sorry that you are going through this.

[Anonymous]

If your child has special needs take the therapy offered through. hold find and then public schools. Only do private therapy that your insurance covers and that has after work hours. Many parents will tell you they poured hours and thousands into therapy in the early years and really it didn’t make much difference in the long run so if you can’t afford it all don’t try and do it all.

[Anonymous]

If you have a $20k+ engagement ring you’re willing to sell to hire an au pair, why not use it to pay down your debt?

[Anonymous]

Post your budget.

Failing that, I'll say that I have never been sorry to have budgeted 1% of the value of the house for repairs. I actually set it aside in a separate account each month. It doesn't exist until something needs to be fixed in or on the house.

[Anonymous]

I would sub in one of the kid's schools. No need for childcare then and you can do half day jobs if the pick up/drop off for the other kids interferes with full day jobs. At least it would be something.
Other than that, really scrutinize your bills to see where you can squeeze from. Cheaper groceries, shopping sales, etc if you're not already. Back when I had time on my hands I spent very little on groceries because I couponed, used the cash back apps, and basically only bought on sale. Inflation has made it more difficult but all the more reason to shop smartly.

[Anonymous]

Why aren’t your kids in the same school? What was your career pre-kids?