Reply to Women who have affairs w/ men they know are married

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On a different note, why do married men profess that they are happily married but cheat?  I don’t think you can be happily married and do and say nasty things behind your wife’s back but I hear it all the time.  Memo to yourself if you are a cheater - you are not happily married  just fyi[/quote]

They are not a good/happy person but their marriage is good/their wife is good.

Stop hoping their marriage is bad and they are leaving her for you.[/quote]

Not hoping their marriage is bad but think its better to say nothing at all the profess how great it is.  Obviously it isn't that great.  I suppose people tell themselves the things they want to hear. [/quote]

It’s often situational.  In my cheating years, midlife, I was struggling inside.  I had death of a college friend and a parent.  I had a lot of unresolved stuff..and I went out and cheated.  Zero to do with my wife or kids.

I hit the lottery with my wife, in-laws and kids.  I truly did.  I would tell you and told my AP then that my marriage was great.  I needed to deal with my demons.

That’s in the past and I do have a marriage and partnership and kids that are incredible.  I’m very happy.

It wasn’t “me” when I went through that phase if that makes sense.  I was not a good person then and what I was doing did not make me happy.  It made things worse. [/quote]

Point is you could not take that to your wife. How great can the marriage be if you don’t trust her to see you at your most unlovable? I’m not saying it’s her fault you don’t trust, but don’t you see there is an intimacy issue between you and your wife that needed to be addressed and worked through if you couldn’t be yourself in your most vulnerable moment?[/quote]

No.  I grew up in a violent alcoholic household that learned to compartmentalize and hide our feelings.  It’s not like I told the OW any of this.  I was even more phony with her.  My wife is the reason I finally decided to get help.  She didn’t know it.

We are running.  People like me.  I’m the safest and I see what an incredible family my wife has and her mom and dad are the parents I always wished I had.  It took her dad’s death, a man I respected so much to wake me up.[/quote]

OMG, the PP is the wife who stayed with her cheating H and excused his cheating because of his upbringing. Now she's posting like him. Lady, you need help. Also men do not think or write like that. [/quote]

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