Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are “child free” people posting as if anyone is pining for you to have children? No one cares about you adding your issues to the gene pool. And why the hell are you arguing with parents on a site called DC Urban MOM if you’re enjoying being child free so much? Make it make sense.

What issues do the child free have that people with children don’t? Having a child doesn’t cure mental health issues or personality flaws.

I see what you did there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

What are acceptable ways for childless people to live so that they're not "sad"?
I'm the PP who tried for years--unsuccessfully-- to conceive.
I do my job, I go to the gym, I see friends, sometimes I go on dates, I talk to my parents, I dote on my dog who I love with all my heart (but no, she's not a person, and doting on her doesn't mean that I think she is), I take care of my house, I read, I go to museums, galleries, bookstores, etcetera. I do tons of things. Sometimes I watch Netflix and surf Reddit, just as parents do sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

What are acceptable ways for childless people to live so that they're not "sad"?
I'm the PP who tried for years--unsuccessfully-- to conceive.
I do my job, I go to the gym, I see friends, sometimes I go on dates, I talk to my parents, I dote on my dog who I love with all my heart (but no, she's not a person, and doting on her doesn't mean that I think she is), I take care of my house, I read, I go to museums, galleries, bookstores, etcetera. I do tons of things. Sometimes I watch Netflix and surf Reddit, just as parents do sometimes.

I'm sorry that that PP is such a horse's a--. And I'm sorry that your quest for parenthood didn't turn out the way you'd hoped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is going to buy all this real estate that is the main investment for most families? Declining population is not helpful to a healthy real estate market.

No one. I hate to break it to you but you'll end up stuck in your McMansion till both of you rot.

My neighbors are in their 70s and live alone in a 4100 SF house, 5 beds and 3.5 baths. They are miserable, hate all the kids in the neighborhood, and refuse to move. One day, someone will find them mummified in one of their zillion closets.

Why would you wish property values in your own neighborhood to be depressed? That’s dumb.

No, I wish they'd move to the Villages and let a young family with kids move in the neighborhood, instead of hording resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is going to buy all this real estate that is the main investment for most families? Declining population is not helpful to a healthy real estate market.

No one. I hate to break it to you but you'll end up stuck in your McMansion till both of you rot.

My neighbors are in their 70s and live alone in a 4100 SF house, 5 beds and 3.5 baths. They are miserable, hate all the kids in the neighborhood, and refuse to move. One day, someone will find them mummified in one of their zillion closets.

Why would you wish property values in your own neighborhood to be depressed? That’s dumb.

No, I wish they'd move to the Villages and let a young family with kids move in the neighborhood, instead of hording resources.

It's their house. Who the eff are you to tell them they can't live in it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids but I wouldn’t have them today vs a decade ago. Things looked more hopeful then. Climate change, rise of authoritarians throughout the world, scarce resources, widening divisions in the US. Things look bleak.

33-year-old married childfree by choice woman here. You put it in words more succinctly and better than I could have. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think much of the problem for upper middle class parents is of our own making. The relentless competitiveness about parenting- everything is scheduled extra curriculars, tutoring, getting in to the best schools and colleges…when i was a kid we were expected to take a ball to the park and not come back before dark…

True question here from an early 30s childfree woman here, I am a middle school teacher. Why do you think this culture around parenting changed? What caused it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids but I wouldn’t have them today vs a decade ago. Things looked more hopeful then. Climate change, rise of authoritarians throughout the world, scarce resources, widening divisions in the US. Things look bleak.

33-year-old married childfree by choice woman here. You put it in words more succinctly and better than I could have. Thank you.

+2. It makes no sense to breed (and thus hoard even more resources than your fair amount) just to add to the future misery of everyone. It’s downright selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think much of the problem for upper middle class parents is of our own making. The relentless competitiveness about parenting- everything is scheduled extra curriculars, tutoring, getting in to the best schools and colleges…when i was a kid we were expected to take a ball to the park and not come back before dark…

True question here from an early 30s childfree woman here, I am a middle school teacher. Why do you think this culture around parenting changed? What caused it?

Once again it isn’t the parents fault In entirety.

Society is such that ses backsliding has more dire consequences here than in Western Europe.

Going from umc to lmc in Netherlands is OK. Your life expectancy and QoL doesn’t change that much. You still get to have a safe walkable nabe, clean parks, etc.

Lmc people in a boring Milanese suburb eat WAY better than UMC Americans with 10x the income and Whole Foods.

Americans parents in 2021 are hyper involved because they sense if they cannot give their child a trust, the only way to stop generational backsliding is to make sure they get onto the umc success track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are “child free” people posting as if anyone is pining for you to have children? No one cares about you adding your issues to the gene pool. And why the hell are you arguing with parents on a site called DC Urban MOM if you’re enjoying being child free so much? Make it make sense.

Has anyone identified themselves as child free? I have children but I was child-free for a LONG time and have many child-free friends. Some of the idiots here seriously think that all child-free people do is watch TV and be sad and purposeless.

Child-free losers: Beethoven, Oprah, Samuel Beckett, Louisa May Alcott, Francis Drake, Rosa Parks, Isaac Newton, Dolly Parton, Maria Callas, Coco Chanel, Julia Child, Leonardo da Vinci.

Nobody cares. Have kids and be happy. Have kids and be miserable. Don’t have kids and be happy. Don’t have kids and be miserable. No one else will enjoy or suffer with you and no one cares how things turn out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are “child free” people posting as if anyone is pining for you to have children? No one cares about you adding your issues to the gene pool. And why the hell are you arguing with parents on a site called DC Urban MOM if you’re enjoying being child free so much? Make it make sense.

What issues do the child free have that people with children don’t? Having a child doesn’t cure mental health issues or personality flaws.

We don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is going to buy all this real estate that is the main investment for most families? Declining population is not helpful to a healthy real estate market.

No one. I hate to break it to you but you'll end up stuck in your McMansion till both of you rot.

My neighbors are in their 70s and live alone in a 4100 SF house, 5 beds and 3.5 baths. They are miserable, hate all the kids in the neighborhood, and refuse to move. One day, someone will find them mummified in one of their zillion closets.

Why would you wish property values in your own neighborhood to be depressed? That’s dumb.

No, I wish they'd move to the Villages and let a young family with kids move in the neighborhood, instead of hording resources.

The people with kids are ones hoarding large homes. I say that as the old folks in 70s and 80s actually had 3-6 kids in that home at one point in that large homes. I have couples on my block. Actually all four families with younger kids who only have two kids. One neighbor 14, 12, other twins who are 8 and other 17 and 19. They all have six to seven bedroom homes. The old folks they bought them off all had around four kids.

Homes get bigger and family size gets smaller.

[Anonymous]

As a parent of three kids my issue is I devoted a huge amount of my life to them and literally millions of dollars between cost to raise them and college. They are great kids. All very talented, healthy and beautiful. My one daughter for example literally looks like Scarlet Johansson, award winning artist and is wrapping up college and already has a great job lined up in a FinTech. Between all the work from school, soccer, teaching then to drive, college, even how to sew, cook, shop, home repairs, religion classes etc. if she does not have kids what’s the point. And all three of my kids are that great. My house. My cars. My memories I even existed is worthless without a future generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of three kids my issue is I devoted a huge amount of my life to them and literally millions of dollars between cost to raise them and college. They are great kids. All very talented, healthy and beautiful. My one daughter for example literally looks like Scarlet Johansson, award winning artist and is wrapping up college and already has a great job lined up in a FinTech. Between all the work from school, soccer, teaching then to drive, college, even how to sew, cook, shop, home repairs, religion classes etc. if she does not have kids what’s the point. And all three of my kids are that great. My house. My cars. My memories I even existed is worthless without a future generation.

Me, me, me. My, my, my. I, I, I. Your ego is way over inflated. You sound like a certified narcissist. Please seek treatment.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the climate change reason. You don’t want kids so the earth isn’t harmed? But if we all did this there would be no more people. Is that the point? A humanless planet?