Middle School Culture Shock

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just swearing, but also watching anime on Chromebook, and disobeying the teachers, etc.

Oh no! Watching anime! Etc.!

[/b]What's wrong with anime?[b] Not all of it is bad. The swearing and disobeying teachers is a parenting issue. It doesn't matter where or how they go to school but you need to make it unacceptable in your home. And, don't use a chromebook at home so you can monitor what goes on.

The kids at my middle school are watching anime porn so…

Signed,
A school psychologist

SO, if they are doing it at your school on the school computers, what are YOU doing about it? its not happening in our home.

How do you know? At school, we have go guardian so I can see what all the kids are doing in my class. What are you doing that you [i]think works?

We monitor everything. And, we don’t use school computers so we can monitor it. Kids use desk tops were we can see the screens. We have access to everything.

So you collect their chromebooks when they come home?

Have you found the hidden tor browser?

My brother's kid got a bootable linux usb stick with a vpn connection. When they weren't looking, she booted their PC up with it and bypassed all the monitoring/logging stuff. You can't watch tweens and teens like toddlers. Or if you do, you'll mess them up worse.

We don’t have an mcps chrome book. We simply never picked one up. Mcps lied when they said you cannot do things like testing on your own computer. Actually you can watch your kids and monitor those things. Because you don’t is why they do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

Wait....so you think progressive women are fine with MS girls wearing inappropriate clothing to school?

Nope.

I'll ask again.. why don't you let your MSer where her underwear to school?

Wear? When my daughter was in MS she had sensory issues and developed an affection for specific clothes, some of which she wore even when they got short, even when they got tight. We talked about it, but I struck a balance between not shaming her and suggesting alternatives. From what I saw, even her NT peers did this to some extent. These girls were growling like six inches in a year.

Why are you so hellbent on shaming your own daughter?

Follow up question: how IS her diet? She fake eating salads at dinner?

Tossed salads!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just swearing, but also watching anime on Chromebook, and disobeying the teachers, etc.

Oh no! Watching anime! Etc.!

[/b]What's wrong with anime?[b] Not all of it is bad. The swearing and disobeying teachers is a parenting issue. It doesn't matter where or how they go to school but you need to make it unacceptable in your home. And, don't use a chromebook at home so you can monitor what goes on.

The kids at my middle school are watching anime porn so…

Signed,
A school psychologist

SO, if they are doing it at your school on the school computers, what are YOU doing about it? its not happening in our home.

How do you know? At school, we have go guardian so I can see what all the kids are doing in my class. What are you doing that you [i]think works?

We monitor everything. And, we don’t use school computers so we can monitor it. Kids use desk tops were we can see the screens. We have access to everything.

So you collect their chromebooks when they come home?

Have you found the hidden tor browser?

My brother's kid got a bootable linux usb stick with a vpn connection. When they weren't looking, she booted their PC up with it and bypassed all the monitoring/logging stuff. You can't watch tweens and teens like toddlers. Or if you do, you'll mess them up worse.

We don’t have an mcps chrome book. We simply never picked one up. Mcps lied when they said you cannot do things like testing on your own computer. Actually you can watch your kids and monitor those things. Because you don’t is why they do it.

Interesting. What do your kids use in class when they are expected to have their chromebook? Middle school kids generally use them in most classes most days.

And of course by "interesting" I'm calling "bullsh*t". Having no chromebook worked in virtual, but no more. And if your kids are in the VA, then their experience really doesn't have bearing on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Am reading this and have newfound appreciation for my 12 year old middle schooler who, when I bought her two crop tops this summer, asked whether I could buy her some shirts that covered her whole stomach. We are in private school also and can confirm that at least at our school the kids are not disrespectful to the teachers although they do talk badly about some of them with their peers. There are some heavy crushes but not hearing about sex, porn and my DD is very open - too much, actually. That said I do remember by 8th grade, in my public middle school, that I had seen and heard a lot - my eyes were definitely opened by kids who had pretty lenient parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am reading this and have newfound appreciation for my 12 year old middle schooler who, when I bought her two crop tops this summer, asked whether I could buy her some shirts that covered her whole stomach. We are in private school also and can confirm that at least at our school the kids are not disrespectful to the teachers although they do talk badly about some of them with their peers. There are some heavy crushes but not hearing about sex, porn and my DD is very open - too much, actually. That said I do remember by 8th grade, in my public middle school, that I had seen and heard a lot - my eyes were definitely opened by kids who had pretty lenient parents.

You know there is a private school board you can talk about your private school on. Crop tops are no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just swearing, but also watching anime on Chromebook, and disobeying the teachers, etc.

Oh no! Watching anime! Etc.!

[/b]What's wrong with anime?[b] Not all of it is bad. The swearing and disobeying teachers is a parenting issue. It doesn't matter where or how they go to school but you need to make it unacceptable in your home. And, don't use a chromebook at home so you can monitor what goes on.

The kids at my middle school are watching anime porn so…

Signed,
A school psychologist

SO, if they are doing it at your school on the school computers, what are YOU doing about it? its not happening in our home.

How do you know? At school, we have go guardian so I can see what all the kids are doing in my class. What are you doing that you [i]think works?

We monitor everything. And, we don’t use school computers so we can monitor it. Kids use desk tops were we can see the screens. We have access to everything.

So you collect their chromebooks when they come home?

Have you found the hidden tor browser?

My brother's kid got a bootable linux usb stick with a vpn connection. When they weren't looking, she booted their PC up with it and bypassed all the monitoring/logging stuff. You can't watch tweens and teens like toddlers. Or if you do, you'll mess them up worse.

We don’t have an mcps chrome book. We simply never picked one up. Mcps lied when they said you cannot do things like testing on your own computer. Actually you can watch your kids and monitor those things. Because you don’t is why they do it.

Interesting. What do your kids use in class when they are expected to have their chromebook? Middle school kids generally use them in most classes most days.

And of course by "interesting" I'm calling "bullsh*t". Having no chromebook worked in virtual, but no more. And if your kids are in the VA, then their experience really doesn't have bearing on this thread.

You can call it what ever you want and yes, we are still using our own computers.

[Anonymous]

You can’t hide your child from the world. Parents that are extreme like this have kids that hide burner or old phones their friends give them under their mattresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just swearing, but also watching anime on Chromebook, and disobeying the teachers, etc.

Oh no! Watching anime! Etc.!

[/b]What's wrong with anime?[b] Not all of it is bad. The swearing and disobeying teachers is a parenting issue. It doesn't matter where or how they go to school but you need to make it unacceptable in your home. And, don't use a chromebook at home so you can monitor what goes on.

The kids at my middle school are watching anime porn so…

Signed,
A school psychologist

SO, if they are doing it at your school on the school computers, what are YOU doing about it? its not happening in our home.

How do you know? At school, we have go guardian so I can see what all the kids are doing in my class. What are you doing that you [i]think works?

We monitor everything. And, we don’t use school computers so we can monitor it. Kids use desk tops were we can see the screens. We have access to everything.

So you collect their chromebooks when they come home?

Have you found the hidden tor browser?

My brother's kid got a bootable linux usb stick with a vpn connection. When they weren't looking, she booted their PC up with it and bypassed all the monitoring/logging stuff. You can't watch tweens and teens like toddlers. Or if you do, you'll mess them up worse.

We don’t have an mcps chrome book. We simply never picked one up. Mcps lied when they said you cannot do things like testing on your own computer. Actually you can watch your kids and monitor those things. Because you don’t is why they do it.

Interesting. What do your kids use in class when they are expected to have their chromebook? Middle school kids generally use them in most classes most days.

And of course by "interesting" I'm calling "bullsh*t". Having no chromebook worked in virtual, but no more. And if your kids are in the VA, then their experience really doesn't have bearing on this thread.

You can call it what ever you want and yes, we are still using our own computers.

You sweet summer child...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, this kind of stuff is developmentally normal and appropriate. Kids pushing boundaries. Take as old as time.

Except now we live in a wildly different world and everything is x100 on steriods. You can compare smoking weed and looking a playboy magazines with the world of today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, this kind of stuff is developmentally normal and appropriate. Kids pushing boundaries. Take as old as time.

Except now we live in a wildly different world and everything is x100 on steriods. You can compare smoking weed and looking a playboy magazines with the world of today.

*Can't* compare

[Anonymous]

It's a balance. If you don't protect the kid enough, they can head in the wrong direction.

If you overprotect, you run the risk of rebellion for the sake of rebellion (so you inadvertently led them to do exactly what you didn't want them to do), creating an easy mark (too sheltered or naive), making a husk of a person who doesn't know who they are, etc, when they enter the real world.

At least if they explore while still at home, you have some control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a balance. If you don't protect the kid enough, they can head in the wrong direction.

If you overprotect, you run the risk of rebellion for the sake of rebellion (so you inadvertently led them to do exactly what you didn't want them to do), creating an easy mark (too sheltered or naive), making a husk of a person who doesn't know who they are, etc, when they enter the real world.

At least if they explore while still at home, you have some control.

+1

DC is 13, no phone (among the last hold outs in peer group!). I can monitor browsing and used to do so much more closely. We also had one of the Circle devices, which was easy enough to google workarounds. Now monitor periodically, but also encouraging independence, decision making and good judgement. I've found that since I've backed off, DC is more open to asking questions, especially about things overheard at school, or on a friend's phone during lunch or after school. As parents, we walk a tightrope and need to constantly adjust. I don't have all the answers (I doubt any of you do, either). I accept that some mistakes will be made along the way and hope to learn from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t hide your child from the world. Parents that are extreme like this have kids that hide burner or old phones their friends give them under their mattresses.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, this kind of stuff is developmentally normal and appropriate. Kids pushing boundaries. Take as old as time.

Except now we live in a wildly different world and everything is x100 on steriods. You can compare smoking weed and looking a playboy magazines with the world of today.

Every generation feels everything is x100, when really its just wildly different than when you were a kid. Which doesn’t really matter because its completely the world your kids have always grown up in. The sooner adults adjust the better off kids. If parents 1) realize they need to monitor screen time, 2)actually parent instead of trying to keep up with their neighbors and 3) stop believing “my kid would never” and realize oh yes your kid would, kids will be just fine.

[Anonymous]

This is why I don't even think middle school should exist. Keep kids being kids and I bet there would be less problems.