Just curious how many marriages did not involve an actual "proposal"

[Anonymous]

I'm in what I consider a very solid marriage (6 years married), known each other 9 years. There was a point where we discussed marriage and decided that we were both ready, but no actual proposal, no "Will you marry me?" moment. Can't say I missed it or that I feel that's somehow wrong.

(Yes, for inquiring minds, I have a very nice ring).

I'm wondering how many couples this is true for.

[Anonymous]

No proposal, no ring. It does bother me sometimes, but then I beat down the unworthy sentiment. We have been married 15+ years.

[Anonymous]

No proposal. No engagement ring. Wedding band only. I'm happy with the way it worked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No proposal. No engagement ring. Wedding band only. I'm happy with the way it worked out.

Me, too! My husband comes from a culture where people don't date like they do here, and he said from the beginning (close to it anyway) that he wanted to marry me -- he didn't "just date." I told him he was moving too fast for me, that I was a typical American, so I needed to date. But as time went on I really fell in love and we just started talking like marriage was a given. He got me a really nice wedding band (I never wanted an engagement ring, too big for me). We've been married 8 years and it's all good.

Sometimes I look back and it would have been nice to have a traditional romantic "moment," but that's not really how we are (we are much more spontaneous), so it likely would have felt artificial and staged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in what I consider a very solid marriage (6 years married), known each other 9 years. There was a point where we discussed marriage and decided that we were both ready, but no actual proposal, no "Will you marry me?" moment. Can't say I missed it or that I feel that's somehow wrong.

(Yes, for inquiring minds, I have a very nice ring).

I'm wondering how many couples this is true for.

That's what we did.

[Anonymous]

No proposal, just a discussion in the car one day that made it clear we were ready and eager. Then we went out and picked rings together (one quiet enough that I can wear it anywhere).

7:41 has a nice story.

[Anonymous]

My parents never had a "proposal." They knew they wanted to get married so they picked out a ring and that was that. They've been married 43 years.

I did have a real proposal but we had talked about it a lot and had picked out rings together. I was actually already wearing my e-ring (long story) when he formally proposed.

[Anonymous]

I was never proposed to either. I don't believe in those surprise proposals where the girl sits around and waits for the guy to be ready to marry her. It seems ridiculous. I also don't have an engagement ring because I don't like to spend money on jewelry.

[Anonymous]

I didn't really have a proposal either and I don't miss it. We were already in a committed relationship and had talked about getting married. A couple months later, we were just laying in bed when he asked if I would like to get married and when. I wouldn't exactly call it a proposal and we already had the stones for our wedding rings. Like the PP, I don't buy into the fantasy of the big proposal. I like that this is where our relationship led and that it didn't hinge on one person asking the other.

[Anonymous]

I had one, but had narrowed it down to the two week time frame. We actually had the wedding date picked and the venue reserved before the proposal...but his parents dont know that!

[Anonymous]

I also didn't have a proposal or a big wedding. This was my choice and I am happy with our decision. I also don't buy into the fantasy of getting proposed to, and I'd been bridesmaids in enough bride-zilla weddings to know I didn't want a big wedding either. I have a very very nice wedding band, no engagement ring, and we've been married for 3 years. I also "retired" from being a bridesmaid after I got married - if I didnt ask YOU to be in my wedding, I no longer feel obligated to be in yours!

[Anonymous]

We didn't have a traditional proposal. I actually think it is very weird and antiquated. Like the woman is waiting for some man to deem her lucky enough to get married/get a ring. For us, it was a mutual decision to build a life together. We been together for 8 years, married for 2.

[Anonymous]

That would be a bummer. I cherish the memory of receiving my proposal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also didn't have a proposal or a big wedding. This was my choice and I am happy with our decision. I also don't buy into the fantasy of getting proposed to, and I'd been bridesmaids in enough bride-zilla weddings to know I didn't want a big wedding either. I have a very very nice wedding band, no engagement ring, and we've been married for 3 years. I also "retired" from being a bridesmaid after I got married - if I didnt ask YOU to be in my wedding, I no longer feel obligated to be in yours!

What a friend. Seems cool if you don't want a wedding, but not to be a part of a friend's if they asked? It's an obligation??

[Anonymous]

No proposal, no engagement ring, no bridal shower. Dated about 9 months, had a small church wedding with immediate family and have been married now for 14 years. Don't really feel I missed out on anything since what happened after we got married has been far more important and impactful than what came before. Neither of our parents did it the traditional way either and they have been married for 49 and 56 years respectively.