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Infertility Support and Discussion
age and pregnancy - how old is too old?
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Anonymous
| I'm one of those very, very fortunate ones who had no trouble getting pregnant at 43. Now, DH and I would love to have one more, even though we're both almost 46. Are we nuts? I still have regular periods and nothing has changed that I can tell, but.... We know we're up to it financially, emotionally and physically, but I'm scared to try to pull this one off. Any thoughts on either side are welcome! |
Anonymous
| I am 44, have a 3 y/o and wondering this same thing. |
Anonymous
| It looks like there are at least a few of us. I am now 46 with two children, 4 and 2. would love to hear from some moms who went through pregnancy at such "advanced maternal age" and their experiences. |
Anonymous
I can happily join the group. I am 43, with a 15-month-old baby and a 5-year old. I have two friends who wanted a second child and got pregnant at 43. Despite my initial age-related fears regarding the chances and risks of conception, my experience has been fantastic. My friends are also thrilled about their experiences. I hope this will encourage whoever desires another child but feels intimidated by age factors. |
Anonymous
| I think it all about perspective, if you don't think you're too old (and health wise you're fine), then go for it. |
Anonymous
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44 here with a 17 month old-DH is 45. I had no problem getting pregnant-in fact, every month we TTC, I was pregnant. Out of 4 pregnancies, I stayed pregnant once-with my son. I'm not ready for another child-but am also concerned about TTC at 46 when I'll probably be ready. If you're up to it, go for it. I knew someone who had TWINs at 50!!! I'm so thankful I was able to have my son, at my age-it's a crap shoot in your 40s. I've got a friend who did a donor egg, and have another friend who is TTC and it's not working. My RE told me approximately 90% of eggs of a 45 year old are bad.
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Anonymous
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I'm an older mom too (bunched together - my third at 42) and the bigger issue I've found is that I'm typically the oldest mom at my kids school and socially as you tend to hang around the parents of your kids friends/neighbors etc. Typically they are 10 years younger and are in a different stage of careers, physical deteroration (sorry!) etc
Anyway I didn't find many physical problems or health problems for me or my kids beyond the usual complaints. Being the oldest in the group is something you just need to learn to be ok with... |
Anonymous
| I had my second at 39 and I am thinking about this: I'll be 60 when she 20....; if my daughter has a child when she is as old as I am, I will become a grandmother at 78.... that's too old! |
Anonymous
To add another perspective to this -- you will be amont MANY women becoming grandmothers at such a late age since waiting until late 30s/early 40s to start a family is a growing trend. Just look around you.... |
Anonymous
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Another one here, 44 with an eight month old. Thinking of another but wish I could wait.
Although, there is no question I am old I seem to have friends who are much younger (late 20's and 30's). I don't really do playgroups etc. Because I work and frankly I don't know if that has anything to do with age or just that I don't relate to most typical mom types. Obviously, if I waited this long I wasn't really into the whole "mommy" thing. But, I do like being a mommy and I think I turned out to be a pretty good one. I think with all the advancements in testing that you have a good idea of where you stand and you have enough time to make decisions or prepare (if possible) for what may come. My husband wants another (he's much younger) but doesn't help as much as I'd like. So, that is playing more on my decision than age at this moment. We should start an older moms play group. I think there are more of us than we realize 
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Anonymous
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Please forgive me for butting in.
I'm 34, and am very glad to see this discussion. I want another, but will have to wait a few years. Thanks for reminding me that it's OK. |
Anonymous
| Wow, so glad to see this post. I'm 44 next month, had my first at almost 41 and mc at 42. TTC for past 6 mos and starting to feel discouraged. I'm so happy to see others have been able to conceive at this age on their own. I hope you all post back with your progress!!! |
Anonymous
I say this with the best intentions, but it is uncommon (I won't say rare) for people over 40 to get pregnant with their own eggs. Certainly not impossible as the PPs say, but difficult. And please know that many many new moms over 40 got pregnant using donor eggs but don't admit it. I am one of them. No one knows except my Dr and husband. I was lulled in my mid 30s into thinking I had more time b/c of all the stories about moms in their 40s getting pregnant. I just didn't know the facts, or I would have started sooner. I think OBs are now starting to bemore honest about the issue. Just my two cents. Every decision is personal. |
Anonymous
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While I think the PP is correct that in general it is certainly much more difficult to get pregnant over 40 than under, it's an exaggeration to say that it is "uncommon/rare" to get pregnant over 40 using one's own eggs. While I realize that the following is of course not statistically valid, at least on an anecdotal level, I know right off the top of my head half a dozen women who all got pregnant in their early forties using their own eggs (while one of the women was an acquaintance, the others are friends--in two cases extremely close friends--and I am 99.9% certain I would know if they had used donor eggs, and in at least one case the child looks just like the mother to boot). I'm not at all saying that women shouldn't consider the possibilities of waiting, but I think the issue is usually misstated. A better way of putting it is that although many women do not have trouble conceiving at older ages, the real issue is that if a woman waits too long, she won't know until possibly too late if it turns out that she is one of the unlucky ones who does have trouble; she will have missed the window of opportunity to use IVF or other interventions, etc.
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Anonymous
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Hi, does anyone have any information on whether the difficulty of conceiving at older ages is lessened if one has had children prior? We have two kids and are contemplating a third; I am 41 and had no trouble at all getting pregnant either time before, when I was 35 and 38.
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