Why do people with demanding jobs choose to have 3+ kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only in the US do you have throngs of woman belittle families because they opt to have 3+ kids. Family unit, siblings, a tribe, a community? Ewwwww!

To be fair, I don’t think this is a common opinion in the US. Just on DCUM, and even here I think a few of the posters who freak out over 3 kids are straight trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people love to attack families with 3+ kids?

Easiest answer? Jealousy

Easiest but most incorrect. I’m not jealous of people who choose to over-populate the earth with their unnecessary spawn. Or those who are over-stretched and neglect their children

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

And I am Latina and I think that we both know that there is a ton of inequities among Hispanics. This is not a racial issue, but a socioeconomic one, which is always on display in DCUM. The statement above could just as easily apply to wealthy Hispanic families as white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

I don’t get this at. all. You really think it’s a problem to have an eight year old prevent a two year old from drawing on the wall while Mom is, say, cleaning up a four year old’s vomit? Or to ask a two year old to grab a pack of wipes from the corner while you’re changing a newborn’s diaper? I’m not advocating leaving anyone in charge for an extended period of time, but the big brothers and sisters helping their younger siblings or their parents while their parents are helping younger ones seems...pretty reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people love to attack families with 3+ kids?

Easiest answer? Jealousy

Easiest but most incorrect. I’m not jealous of people who choose to over-populate the earth with their unnecessary spawn. Or those who are over-stretched and neglect their children

+1

So 3 is overpopulating the earth but not 2 or even 1? I mean, there are plenty of kids in foster care and around the world. Why have any children at all.

You are jealous, bitter and stupid..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

And I am Latina and I think that we both know that there is a ton of inequities among Hispanics. This is not a racial issue, but a socioeconomic one, which is always on display in DCUM. The statement above could just as easily apply to wealthy Hispanic families as white.

I should’ve specified that I’m a first born Latina(not Hispanic though) and resent the way I was treated. I was born MC, if it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

I don’t get this at. all. You really think it’s a problem to have an eight year old prevent a two year old from drawing on the wall while Mom is, say, cleaning up a four year old’s vomit? Or to ask a two year old to grab a pack of wipes from the corner while you’re changing a newborn’s diaper? I’m not advocating leaving anyone in charge for an extended period of time, but the big brothers and sisters helping their younger siblings or their parents while their parents are helping younger ones seems...pretty reasonable.

Babies aside for obvious reasons, what are the last born kids doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people love to attack families with 3+ kids?

Easiest answer? Jealousy

I think it’s more that they are bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

And I am Latina and I think that we both know that there is a ton of inequities among Hispanics. This is not a racial issue, but a socioeconomic one, which is always on display in DCUM. The statement above could just as easily apply to wealthy Hispanic families as white.

I should’ve specified that I’m a first born Latina(not Hispanic though) and resent the way I was treated. I was born MC, if it matters.

Still don't find it to be relevant to the quote above above. If you resent how you were treated, it sounds like a personal, family issue. And it is still reasonable to assume that older children can babysit younger children without having to hire help regardless of background. No one is suggesting child abuse, and, no, regular household responsibilities are not overly burdensome to children. The idea that you must HIRE HELP for minor household chores is just silly.

[Anonymous]

If you have a demanding job but your children are your focus, it's not a problem. Even if you're disorganized. DH has a demanding job (biglaw) but he also has no hobbies and loves spending time with his kids. He is way more present with his kids than other parents I have seen who don't have demanding jobs but love sports or whatever.

(I am a stay at home mom with two kids so I don't really fit into the category that the OP is talking about, but being in the educated Mormon circle I have friends who are, say, double biglaw with four kids, and their kids still get lots of one-on-one time.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a demanding job but your children are your focus, it's not a problem. Even if you're disorganized. DH has a demanding job (biglaw) but he also has no hobbies and loves spending time with his kids. He is way more present with his kids than other parents I have seen who don't have demanding jobs but love sports or whatever.

(I am a stay at home mom with two kids so I don't really fit into the category that the OP is talking about, but being in the educated Mormon circle I have friends who are, say, double biglaw with four kids, and their kids still get lots of one-on-one time.)

Wait. Hold on. You know Mormon women in big law?

Every Mormon woman I know is a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People make snarky comments about having 3+ all the time but it’s been a life saver for these kids to have each other during the pandemic. They haven’t been lonely and still get tons of play. So we’re quite happy with having gone with more than the norm

YES. I have three (and a fourth on the way) and I say all the time that lacking any one of them would have made this much much harder. The oldest is old enough to loosely supervise the younger two when I'm in a different part of the house, the middle bridges the gap because the oldest and youngest are awfully far apart to play together, and the youngest entertains the middle when the oldest is doing schoolwork or reading a book. It's worked out beautifully, and having three is really honestly easier than having any two of them. So of course we're doing it again.

It’s easy as your oldest is a free bsbysitter. Not their job, it’s yours. Hire help.

And this is the most DC response on here. "Children need looking after? Don't encumber the little prince and princesses of the family! Hire (assumingly cheap and minority labor) to ensure that children of the family learn zero responsibility and start their wealth and privilege in life early on. Family work is the mother's job....but hire out if you need help. Never look to the family structure itself"

So much wrong here.

Nice try! I’m a Latina and agree with her.

And I am Latina and I think that we both know that there is a ton of inequities among Hispanics. This is not a racial issue, but a socioeconomic one, which is always on display in DCUM. The statement above could just as easily apply to wealthy Hispanic families as white.

I should’ve specified that I’m a first born Latina(not Hispanic though) and resent the way I was treated. I was born MC, if it matters.

Still don't find it to be relevant to the quote above above. If you resent how you were treated, it sounds like a personal, family issue. And it is still reasonable to assume that older children can babysit younger children without having to hire help regardless of background. No one is suggesting child abuse, and, no, regular household responsibilities are not overly burdensome to children. The idea that you must HIRE HELP for minor household chores is just silly.

No, it’s wrong to use your older children regardless of background.

[Anonymous]

Is it crazy that I don't even think families with 3 kids is that large? It's seems like a normal amount to anyone raised in the 70s or 80s.