In what nuanced ways did you NOT realize you had white privilege?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t driving cross country with my kids and, on a long flat stretch in Kansas, I got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 zone. When the cop came to the window, I rummaged around in the pile of coats and garbage on the passenger seat for my wallet and never though once that he could have pulled a gun on me or hauled me out of the car. I got a ticket for going 75 in a 65 and a kind admonishment to pay attention.

Meant to say “was” driving cross country , obviously. Forgot to mention that I was 6 weeks out from a boob job too, so I had some of that big boob privilege going in addition to the white privilege I was born with.

This is a serious reach. Now you’re just looking for ways to flagellate yourself. Big boob privilege? Please.

I disagree. As a black man, I can say that the chances of me being able to aimlessly rummage around a pile of stuff in my car for my wallet without a cop pulling out his weapon would be low.

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

Agree. This is an uncomfortable fact.

Also agree. Black crime is the root of the problem with the black community is viewed and treated by police and a lot of the prejudices black people feel
from others of different races.

So it’s okay to judge all Blacks as criminals because of crime by some Blacks in poor communities, but it’s not okay to judge all whites as racists despite 400 years of slavery and systemic oppression coupled with countless racist incidents and racist commentary by some whites nationwide.

That’s jive f&cked up don’t you think?

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Surprisingly tv sitcoms like "Friends" and "Seinfeld" were set it NYC. Yet the cast never had any black or Hispanic friends. Ever. Not even a token black or Hispanic date, since they were all single. They did have a lesbian couple.

I lived in NYC as a single white person during that time period.

There were black clubs like Bentleys, Spanish Clubs like Tropicana, Greek Clubs in Astoria, Guido Clubs in Brooklyn, Irish off the boat bars etc.

Nearly all my friends were white. All my friends lived in a Manhattan. How it was. I had black friends from work or go to game with. But coffee shops and bars full of white girls from Long Island not their think.

We even had Jewish white clubs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me , my patients trust me more. It probably took me about 6 months into my career before a co-worker was complaining about it. It never occurred to me that those of another race would face difficulty, especially with the elderly population. Now it is something I notice and holy crap it is so prevalent.

I trust Indian doctors more than white doctors. They are more studious and take school more seriously. They are less materialistic.

I don’t as they are way less educated. In India you don’t even need a college degree to be a doctor. They go straight from HS to Medical School.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me , my patients trust me more. It probably took me about 6 months into my career before a co-worker was complaining about it. It never occurred to me that those of another race would face difficulty, especially with the elderly population. Now it is something I notice and holy crap it is so prevalent.

I trust Indian doctors more than white doctors. They are more studious and take school more seriously. They are less materialistic.

I don’t as they are way less educated. In India you don’t even need a college degree to be a doctor. They go straight from HS to Medical School.

It’s the same in Europe. Does that mean you find European doctors less educated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprisingly tv sitcoms like "Friends" and "Seinfeld" were set it NYC. Yet the cast never had any black or Hispanic friends. Ever. Not even a token black or Hispanic date, since they were all single. They did have a lesbian couple.

I lived in NYC as a single white person during that time period.

There were black clubs like Bentleys, Spanish Clubs like Tropicana, Greek Clubs in Astoria, Guido Clubs in Brooklyn, Irish off the boat bars etc.

Nearly all my friends were white. All my friends lived in a Manhattan. How it was. I had black friends from work or go to game with. But coffee shops and bars full of white girls from Long Island not their think.

We even had Jewish white clubs

NP: I don't think anyone is questioning that it is POSSIBLE to live an almost exclusively white life in NYC during this time period -- I think the "surprise" is that multiple people must have made multiple decisions for two long-running TV shows to reflect this. NYC is an extremely diverse city. It takes willfulness and work to create long-running shows that ignore this characteristic diversity. So, while it is possible -- as you point out -- to lead an ethnically or racially segregated life in NYC, it also makes sense to wonder why and how the decisions to reflect and market this were made

Single Black person who lived and worked in Manhattan for 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me , my patients trust me more. It probably took me about 6 months into my career before a co-worker was complaining about it. It never occurred to me that those of another race would face difficulty, especially with the elderly population. Now it is something I notice and holy crap it is so prevalent.

I trust Indian doctors more than white doctors. They are more studious and take school more seriously. They are less materialistic.

I don’t as they are way less educated. In India you don’t even need a college degree to be a doctor. They go straight from HS to Medical School.

It’s the same in Europe. Does that mean you find European doctors less educated?

All docs practicing in the US have US medical credentials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t driving cross country with my kids and, on a long flat stretch in Kansas, I got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 zone. When the cop came to the window, I rummaged around in the pile of coats and garbage on the passenger seat for my wallet and never though once that he could have pulled a gun on me or hauled me out of the car. I got a ticket for going 75 in a 65 and a kind admonishment to pay attention.

Meant to say “was” driving cross country , obviously. Forgot to mention that I was 6 weeks out from a boob job too, so I had some of that big boob privilege going in addition to the white privilege I was born with.

This is a serious reach. Now you’re just looking for ways to flagellate yourself. Big boob privilege? Please.

I disagree. As a black man, I can say that the chances of me being able to aimlessly rummage around a pile of stuff in my car for my wallet without a cop pulling out his weapon would be low.

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

Agree. This is an uncomfortable fact.

+10000. Until blacks start to change as a community nothing will change, doesn't matter how much people scream in the streets. Unfortunately that means the good black people get stuck being stereotyped with the bad black people but that's who humans work. You know why Indians or Chinese or whoever don't have these issues? Bc when cops or even regular people walking around at night see them -- in their mind they're thinking hmm x% chance this guy is a dr or IT coming home from work, not x% chance this guy has a gun or a warrant out for his arrest or his high so I better be careful. Unfortunate but that's how society works in America if you're not white (which I'm not) -- the behaviors of your community set a perception for your entire community, whether you are engaging in said behavior or not. Not saying it SHOULD be this way, but that's how it IS and no amount of protesting will change that. Maybe consider some focus on education and uplifting your communities and less focus on guns and drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it "privilege" to not belong to the demographic that commits 95% of the violent and street crime in DC?

It’s a privilege to belong to the demographic that commits 95% of white collar crime which coincidentally no one raises an eyebrow at.

Uh could it be because white collar crime isn't violent and doesn't physically injure and kill?? Give me a break. You can't equate street thugs who make you not want to walk alone to Ponzi schemers sitting at home with their computers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I walked up to a cop on the street to ask him a question and my black friend with me freaked out. She would never walk at a cop because it would be considered a act of aggression.

That's funny because I'm a cop and people often ask me questions, even black people.

People also tell me to F off once in awhile for seemingly no reason.

^^^^
Exhibit A: The problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me , my patients trust me more. It probably took me about 6 months into my career before a co-worker was complaining about it. It never occurred to me that those of another race would face difficulty, especially with the elderly population. Now it is something I notice and holy crap it is so prevalent.

I trust Indian doctors more than white doctors. They are more studious and take school more seriously. They are less materialistic.

Uh they're PLENTY materialistic and most Indian parents push their kids into medicine because $$$ not bc of humanity. I'm Indian Am and when I have a choice I avoid Indian drs from India bc their training is much lesser quality as is their bedside manner (generally speaking - the high end specialists can still be exceptional). But as for Indian-Americans born/educated here -- yeah I will say they take school more seriously, are much more interested in the top residencies etc. bc of prestige but with those top residencies -- whether done for prestige or not -- their training is of a higher level. They're also far less likely to be unable to solve a problem and then just call it anxiety which has become the MO for lots of drs. and tends to work as they deal with so many "therapy generation" patients who accept that diagnosis; in some sense I think the Indian Am focus NOT being on mental health helps bc they're not as quick to just blame anxiety or depression and kick you out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Surprisingly tv sitcoms like "Friends" and "Seinfeld" were set it NYC. Yet the cast never had any black or Hispanic friends. Ever. Not even a token black or Hispanic date, since they were all single. They did have a lesbian couple.

Friends was on from ~1994-2004. Times have changed even since then. It's been 16 yrs since it went off the air. And in 1994, TV was more "proper." I mean Murphy Brown went off the air in 1998 and ended with her becoming a single mother and that was scandalous for network TV to show a woman becoming a single mother by choice and "glamorizing" that "lifestyle." So yeah in 94, an NBC show that was on during "family hour" wouldn't should a black/white relationship and prob not even anything more than blacks and whites as casual coworkers or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprisingly tv sitcoms like "Friends" and "Seinfeld" were set it NYC. Yet the cast never had any black or Hispanic friends. Ever. Not even a token black or Hispanic date, since they were all single. They did have a lesbian couple.

I lived in NYC as a single white person during that time period.

There were black clubs like Bentleys, Spanish Clubs like Tropicana, Greek Clubs in Astoria, Guido Clubs in Brooklyn, Irish off the boat bars etc.

Nearly all my friends were white. All my friends lived in a Manhattan. How it was. I had black friends from work or go to game with. But coffee shops and bars full of white girls from Long Island not their think.

We even had Jewish white clubs

NP: I don't think anyone is questioning that it is POSSIBLE to live an almost exclusively white life in NYC during this time period -- I think the "surprise" is that multiple people must have made multiple decisions for two long-running TV shows to reflect this. NYC is an extremely diverse city. It takes willfulness and work to create long-running shows that ignore this characteristic diversity. So, while it is possible -- as you point out -- to lead an ethnically or racially segregated life in NYC, it also makes sense to wonder why and how the decisions to reflect and market this were made

Single Black person who lived and worked in Manhattan for 15 years.

Um it's possible to live an exclusively white life in NYC NOW let alone in the 90s. I lived there from 2005-2015 in Manhattan. Worked in finance, lived in midtown. Not one single black friend from that time in my life. Where would I have met them? I worked 24-7 so the deepest friendships came from work not from hobbies or anything like that; and then there were some friends from college/b school that you'd hang with. No black friends from college/b school as there were minimal #s in both of my ivy schools and those that were there while nice ONLY ever hung out with each other unless they were forced to work on a group project with others; they'd never socially hang out or live outside their black group. In 10 yrs at work in NYC finance had exactly 3 black coworkers. Liked all of them but 1 was very quiet and kept to himself -- would almost never come out for drinks with us etc. and when he did he was politely distant; IDK if he felt uncomfortable or what but no one was gonna ask - hey are we being racist - bc we weren't; he ultimately left the firm after a 3-4 yr stint. The other 2 ended up dating and marrying each other so they ONLY ever wanted to hang out with each other to the point where they'd even sit together during dumb lunch meetings and it felt pretty clear they didn't want other around; they both also left within 5 yrs. Outside of that no blacks in the professional ranks -- not suggesting you couldn't be friends with secretaries but they all tended to be age 50+ so it wasn't the most obvious friend group when you were 25. Day to day the only blacks and hispanics you'd see would be the people working at Pret or Sbux.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t driving cross country with my kids and, on a long flat stretch in Kansas, I got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 zone. When the cop came to the window, I rummaged around in the pile of coats and garbage on the passenger seat for my wallet and never though once that he could have pulled a gun on me or hauled me out of the car. I got a ticket for going 75 in a 65 and a kind admonishment to pay attention.

Meant to say “was” driving cross country , obviously. Forgot to mention that I was 6 weeks out from a boob job too, so I had some of that big boob privilege going in addition to the white privilege I was born with.

This is a serious reach. Now you’re just looking for ways to flagellate yourself. Big boob privilege? Please.

I disagree. As a black man, I can say that the chances of me being able to aimlessly rummage around a pile of stuff in my car for my wallet without a cop pulling out his weapon would be low.

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

Agree. This is an uncomfortable fact.

+10000. Until blacks start to change as a community nothing will change, doesn't matter how much people scream in the streets. Unfortunately that means the good black people get stuck being stereotyped with the bad black people but that's who humans work. You know why Indians or Chinese or whoever don't have these issues? Bc when cops or even regular people walking around at night see them -- in their mind they're thinking hmm x% chance this guy is a dr or IT coming home from work, not x% chance this guy has a gun or a warrant out for his arrest or his high so I better be careful. Unfortunate but that's how society works in America if you're not white (which I'm not) -- the behaviors of your community set a perception for your entire community, whether you are engaging in said behavior or not. Not saying it SHOULD be this way, but that's how it IS and no amount of protesting will change that. Maybe consider some focus on education and uplifting your communities and less focus on guns and drugs.

I wonder what you know about the history — and the legacy of this history - of education for Blacks in the US? Or of the historic disconnect between educational accomplishments and actual jobs that reflect these accomplishments for Black Americans?
Or if you realize that the “ guns and drugs” thing is — well, it’s not Black people who are bringing either into this country. If you’re going to tell Black people what needs to change I hope you’re at least as focused on changing the historical systemic factors that create and support the things that you’re calling out. Frankly, this sounds more like you’ve been watching The Wire than as though you have any real understanding of the communities that you’re telling “to focus”. Perhaps you’d rather focus on your prejudices instead of actual systemic change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t driving cross country with my kids and, on a long flat stretch in Kansas, I got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 zone. When the cop came to the window, I rummaged around in the pile of coats and garbage on the passenger seat for my wallet and never though once that he could have pulled a gun on me or hauled me out of the car. I got a ticket for going 75 in a 65 and a kind admonishment to pay attention.

Meant to say “was” driving cross country , obviously. Forgot to mention that I was 6 weeks out from a boob job too, so I had some of that big boob privilege going in addition to the white privilege I was born with.

This is a serious reach. Now you’re just looking for ways to flagellate yourself. Big boob privilege? Please.

I disagree. As a black man, I can say that the chances of me being able to aimlessly rummage around a pile of stuff in my car for my wallet without a cop pulling out his weapon would be low.

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

Agree. This is an uncomfortable fact.

+10000. Until blacks start to change as a community nothing will change, doesn't matter how much people scream in the streets. Unfortunately that means the good black people get stuck being stereotyped with the bad black people but that's who humans work. You know why Indians or Chinese or whoever don't have these issues? Bc when cops or even regular people walking around at night see them -- in their mind they're thinking hmm x% chance this guy is a dr or IT coming home from work, not x% chance this guy has a gun or a warrant out for his arrest or his high so I better be careful. Unfortunate but that's how society works in America if you're not white (which I'm not) -- the behaviors of your community set a perception for your entire community, whether you are engaging in said behavior or not. Not saying it SHOULD be this way, but that's how it IS and no amount of protesting will change that. Maybe consider some focus on education and uplifting your communities and less focus on guns and drugs.

So then you are OK with me lumping you in with the racist white people. Got it.

[Anonymous]

^ I'm not saying the situation is perfect or easy but guess what it isn't perfect or easy for anyone. Pretty sure it's not easy for the syrian refugees coming here. Yet MOST immigrants coming from anywhere are ALL OVER their kids re school/higher education -- even if they go to crappy k-12. Is that same uplifting happening across the board in the black communities -- I'm thinking no bc if it was in the last 150 years there may have been some more progress. You don't need to go to the BEST k-12 to be able to go to trade school for 8 wks after high school graduation and become a trucker or an electrician and then get a job and move your family out of crappy SE to a slightly better suburb. No one is saying you have to go to McLean but maybe get the hell out of the places obviously littered with drugs and guns. And then maybe YOUR kids take another step up.

And in a 2 yr federal clerkship in a southern city where 47% of the population is black -- 99% of the violent defendants that came thru were black. Ok so their neighborhoods are over policed and maybe they didn't bring them into their neighborhoods, BUT cops can't catch you with these things UNLESS you're using them. So many just stop partaking . . . just bc the guns are available doesn't mean you MUST get on and murder someone and end up in federal court. I mean we weren't seeing minor possession charges . . . we were seeing real crime.