In what nuanced ways did you NOT realize you had white privilege?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me , my patients trust me more. It probably took me about 6 months into my career before a co-worker was complaining about it. It never occurred to me that those of another race would face difficulty, especially with the elderly population. Now it is something I notice and holy crap it is so prevalent.

I’m also in medicine. Patients often assume I’m the nurse and not the janitor like they do with my black colleagues. Wish I was exaggerating.

My OB was an African American woman. Also, I was hospitalized a week or so after my baby was born, and my main nurse was an African American woman. My mom visited me a lot throughout. Both were my fantastic. My Mom, in her 70s, said something about what good care I was getting and something about " I love these black ladies in medicine, I find myself hoping for one every time."

I don't really even know what to think about that one.

I'd take that she means Black women are nicer OR that
she knows they had to work that much harder and are probably really good at their work (different but similarly I often think this about men in early elem. ed- that they had to chose to do the work because it was something they were called to and fought stereotypes, not because it was a "mom" job or whatever).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it "privilege" to not belong to the demographic that commits 95% of the violent and street crime in DC?

It’s a privilege to belong to the demographic that commits 95% of white collar crime which coincidentally no one raises an eyebrow at.

I wonder if any studies have been done re: if black people working in white collar industries (banking etc) are targetted more for white collar crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once travelled abroad on a business trip with a very accomplished and elegant black colleague with an African name. Every customs and airport agent looked at my passport and I went right through. My colleague was questioned extensively and rudely
at every check point. I never forgot it and was horrified by her treatment.

Yup. I was born in this country and my white dad’s family has been here for over 300 years. But my mom is an immigrant and I look vaguely “ethnic” and so I always make a point of chatting up the passport control people so they hear my American accent. Like I do that very intentionally after too many unpleasant interactions in the past where I was clearly receiving more scrutiny than my travel companions. As an example, once I was in a car with 3 other people (all white) and we were stopped at a border control checkpoint just south of the Canadian border, and I was the only one asked to produce identification (I wasn’t the driver either). The others were like “gosh, why were you the only one who got grilled?” They seriously didn’t have a clue until I explained it to them.

My look kind of makes me a question mark and I notice when people hear me speak they can sort me into the “white” category and move on with their day. I am very aware of this, so I can imagine what it is like for people who are clearly black or brown. White people just don’t even see it so I’m glad some people are starting to get it. Like the PP above who traveled with her work colleague, you get it now and that’s a good thing.

I just realized I do this, too - although I look white, I have a very complicated and foreign sounding name so when people see only my name (coming through passport control or whatever) I also start speaking quickly in American English. I'm not sure if I do it because of how I Will be perceived or if I just want to assure them I speak English well and we can get on with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it "privilege" to not belong to the demographic that commits 95% of the violent and street crime in DC?

White woman pp here. Please educate yourself on systemic racism and how our society has screwed black Americans over and over again. As a result, I think many have internalized that their black lives don't matter. It's up to us white people to fix the system for them, to improve their lives and make our society better and stronger.

Good intent but something about this feels weird -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once travelled abroad on a business trip with a very accomplished and elegant black colleague with an African name. Every customs and airport agent looked at my passport and I went right through. My colleague was questioned extensively and rudely
at every check point. I never forgot it and was horrified by her treatment.

Yup. I was born in this country and my white dad’s family has been here for over 300 years. But my mom is an immigrant and I look vaguely “ethnic” and so I always make a point of chatting up the passport control people so they hear my American accent. Like I do that very intentionally after too many unpleasant interactions in the past where I was clearly receiving more scrutiny than my travel companions. As an example, once I was in a car with 3 other people (all white) and we were stopped at a border control checkpoint just south of the Canadian border, and I was the only one asked to produce identification (I wasn’t the driver either). The others were like “gosh, why were you the only one who got grilled?” They seriously didn’t have a clue until I explained it to them.

My look kind of makes me a question mark and I notice when people hear me speak they can sort me into the “white” category and move on with their day. I am very aware of this, so I can imagine what it is like for people who are clearly black or brown. White people just don’t even see it so I’m glad some people are starting to get it. Like the PP above who traveled with her work colleague, you get it now and that’s a good thing.

I just realized I do this, too - although I look white, I have a very complicated and foreign sounding name so when people see only my name (coming through passport control or whatever) I also start speaking quickly in American English. I'm not sure if I do it because of how I Will be perceived or if I just want to assure them I speak English well and we can get on with it.

My mom, a brown Hispanic lady, has also faced more scrutiny when coming into the US from Canada. She claims that using her totally American accent usually solves the problem, too. Her family has lived in this country for about 100 years.

[Anonymous]

I interviewed for a job at my current fed employer and I have significant relevant experience. There was one other person who I was competing against, and he had no experience and little more than a HS diploma. I found out that the manager on the interview panel selected me, but a higher level manager selected the other candidate to promote diversity and inclusion. This is actually policy at more than one fed agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until a couple of weeks ago I routinely drove around my nice neighborhood in my nice car without my license, if I wasn’t carrying my purse, always assuming if I got pulled over (not likely) I would show the cop my profile on my firm’s website and it would be fine. This is out of pure laziness of not wanting to carry stuff. I realize it’s obnoxious and now am always bringing my wallet with me because not doing so is using my privilege - even if I don’t get pulled over.

That's not really white privilege. A cop can just run you by name and date of birth. Cops do it all the time to people that dont look like you. It's not a big deal unless you have an attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were doing a short term rental on someone’s townhouse. We went out, met him, saw the townhouse and signed the lease. No credit checks, no paystubs, and no reference checks even though we offered. It was just...here’s my check, we’ll move in next week. He said he was happy to rent to people like us. It might’ve been innocuous, but what he said will forever be burned in my brain as an exhibit of my privilege.

As a landlord, I do this with renters from an all-military site, regardless of their skin color. I owned a home near a military school. When they were staying at the military school, they would get a housing allowance. The rent was not more than the housing allowance. I knew they would pay the rent. I didn't run credit checks, and I signed the lease without seeing them in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Better looking younger people of all races get treated better. Now that I am middle age with dad bod I am mistreated everywhere.

I went from at 27 seeing a Trendy club with long line walking straight in and getting comped.

At 34 I had to wait in line and pay the cover

At 45 on business trip decided to go to Club was told get off line you ain’t getting in.

At 55 they threw some nickels in my coffee cup as thought I was homeless if out that late.

People in retail or clubs profile and not always race. Ugly Lives Matter and Old Lives Matter is also a thing

LoL. You made my weekend. This is soooo funny. The difference though, is that there are plenty of ugly and old men with money who are surrounded by young beautiful women. You have to include "poor" in there. Poor and Ugly Lives Matter.

[Anonymous]

I'm Italian-American. My grandparents were born in Italy, and they never learned how to speak English. When I was a little kid, my grandmother on the other side of my family would tell her mother to speak English. That's the difference, I think. My family realized the importance of learning how to speak English. Plus, law enforcement, especially the Feds, were suspicious of immigrants who spoke Italian instead of English. I probably have experienced advantages from being perceived as "all white." However, I do remember what it felt like to be treated differently because my family was different in our culture and language, until we started to blend in with the tossed salad that is America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Italian-American. My grandparents were born in Italy, and they never learned how to speak English. When I was a little kid, my grandmother on the other side of my family would tell her mother to speak English. That's the difference, I think. My family realized the importance of learning how to speak English. Plus, law enforcement, especially the Feds, were suspicious of immigrants who spoke Italian instead of English. I probably have experienced advantages from being perceived as "all white." However, I do remember what it felt like to be treated differently because my family was different in our culture and language, until we started to blend in with the tossed salad that is America.

Oh please. Italian or not, your family, ancestors, etc are all WHITE.

You have no idea about discrimination. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Italian-American. My grandparents were born in Italy, and they never learned how to speak English. When I was a little kid, my grandmother on the other side of my family would tell her mother to speak English. That's the difference, I think. My family realized the importance of learning how to speak English. Plus, law enforcement, especially the Feds, were suspicious of immigrants who spoke Italian instead of English. I probably have experienced advantages from being perceived as "all white." However, I do remember what it felt like to be treated differently because my family was different in our culture and language, until we started to blend in with the tossed salad that is America.

Oh please. Italian or not, your family, ancestors, etc are all WHITE.

You have no idea about discrimination. None.

+1

While Italians faced some discrimination a century ago, they didn't in the above poster's generation. Not any more than the regular teasing kids gets, and nowhere near the level of POC, and non-Christian people.

- American of Italian descent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

Agree. This is an uncomfortable fact.

+10000. Until blacks start to change as a community nothing will change, doesn't matter how much people scream in the streets. Unfortunately that means the good black people get stuck being stereotyped with the bad black people but that's who humans work. You know why Indians or Chinese or whoever don't have these issues? Bc when cops or even regular people walking around at night see them -- in their mind they're thinking hmm x% chance this guy is a dr or IT coming home from work, not x% chance this guy has a gun or a warrant out for his arrest or his high so I better be careful. Unfortunate but that's how society works in America if you're not white (which I'm not) -- the behaviors of your community set a perception for your entire community, whether you are engaging in said behavior or not. Not saying it SHOULD be this way, but that's how it IS and no amount of protesting will change that. Maybe consider some focus on education and uplifting your communities and less focus on guns and drugs.

I think you all are reading the statistics with a racist slant and that is only reinforcing your bigoted stereotypes.

Black men commit crimes in greater numbers per capita based on a percentage of the number of black men. But white men commit about 3/4 of the violent crime in the US annually. So, while any individual black male is more likely to commit a crime, you are 3 times as likely to be victimized by a white man than you are by a black man. Just because the two black guys in the room are individually more likely to commit a crime than any of the white guys, you are still three times more likely to be victimized by one of the 7 white men in the room than one of the two black guys. But you don't look askew at the 7 white guys are are far more likely as a group to victimize you. People read what they want into the statistics.

The fact remains that white men commit nearly 70% of the violent crimes annually, but we don't stereotype the white men because of that. If you exclude inner city poor areas, then the demographics of crime between white men and black men get much, much closer in the likelihood of either one of them committing a violent crime, but black men in suburbs and upper middle class or wealthy areas are still treated with the same stereotypes and racial profiling as if they were and inner city poor resident.

https://www.ojjdp.gov/ojstatbb/crime/ucr.asp?table_in=2

James Blake is a millionaire former top-10 tennis player for the US. He is known internationally and was standing outside his Manhatten hotel waiting for a friend when a cop runs up out of nowhere, tackles him, pins him to the ground and handcuffs him. Just because they were on the lookout for "a black man"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oga0RjpftWs

Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live was assaulted by police while walking through LA because they were looking for "a black man in grey sweats".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv_mMmbdxL0

These types of arrests and assaults do not occur to white UMC in nicer parts of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

Agree. This is an uncomfortable fact.

+10000. Until blacks start to change as a community nothing will change, doesn't matter how much people scream in the streets. Unfortunately that means the good black people get stuck being stereotyped with the bad black people but that's who humans work. You know why Indians or Chinese or whoever don't have these issues? Bc when cops or even regular people walking around at night see them -- in their mind they're thinking hmm x% chance this guy is a dr or IT coming home from work, not x% chance this guy has a gun or a warrant out for his arrest or his high so I better be careful. Unfortunate but that's how society works in America if you're not white (which I'm not) -- the behaviors of your community set a perception for your entire community, whether you are engaging in said behavior or not. Not saying it SHOULD be this way, but that's how it IS and no amount of protesting will change that. Maybe consider some focus on education and uplifting your communities and less focus on guns and drugs.

I think you all are reading the statistics with a racist slant and that is only reinforcing your bigoted stereotypes.

Black men commit crimes in greater numbers per capita based on a percentage of the number of black men. But white men commit about 3/4 of the violent crime in the US annually. So, while any individual black male is more likely to commit a crime, you are 3 times as likely to be victimized by a white man than you are by a black man. Just because the two black guys in the room are individually more likely to commit a crime than any of the white guys, you are still three times more likely to be victimized by one of the 7 white men in the room than one of the two black guys. But you don't look askew at the 7 white guys are are far more likely as a group to victimize you. People read what they want into the statistics.

The fact remains that white men commit nearly 70% of the violent crimes annually, but we don't stereotype the white men because of that. If you exclude inner city poor areas, then the demographics of crime between white men and black men get much, much closer in the likelihood of either one of them committing a violent crime, but black men in suburbs and upper middle class or wealthy areas are still treated with the same stereotypes and racial profiling as if they were and inner city poor resident.

https://www.ojjdp.gov/ojstatbb/crime/ucr.asp?table_in=2

James Blake is a millionaire former top-10 tennis player for the US. He is known internationally and was standing outside his Manhatten hotel waiting for a friend when a cop runs up out of nowhere, tackles him, pins him to the ground and handcuffs him. Just because they were on the lookout for "a black man"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oga0RjpftWs

Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live was assaulted by police while walking through LA because they were looking for "a black man in grey sweats".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv_mMmbdxL0

These types of arrests and assaults do not occur to white UMC in nicer parts of town.

As a liberal I want you to have an argument here, but as somebody who works with statistics I'm struggling. Maybe I can help you get more clarity. I don't know what you mean by "white," but white non-hispanics are 60 percent of the population; whites including hispanics are 76% of the population; and blacks are about 13.4%. What matters is the per capita figure when you have a single man in front of you. To make your example work, you had to assume that white men were represented in a room out of proportion to their share of the population. That wouldn't happen if you were walking down a demographically-representative street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Better looking younger people of all races get treated better. Now that I am middle age with dad bod I am mistreated everywhere.

I went from at 27 seeing a Trendy club with long line walking straight in and getting comped.

At 34 I had to wait in line and pay the cover

At 45 on business trip decided to go to Club was told get off line you ain’t getting in.

At 55 they threw some nickels in my coffee cup as thought I was homeless if out that late.

People in retail or clubs profile and not always race. Ugly Lives Matter and Old Lives Matter is also a thing

LoL. You made my weekend. This is soooo funny. The difference though, is that there are plenty of ugly and old men with money who are surrounded by young beautiful women. You have to include "poor" in there. Poor and Ugly Lives Matter.

Good point.
Ugly and rich never need defense, they're fine either way, thankyouverymuch.