S/O: So what do men find attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is the dumbest thread ever, thanks to the basement dwelling ‘never had a date in his life’ dork dude.

This is the dumbest thread ever, thanks to all the women jumping in to explain what men should find attractive - which by sheer coincidence includes the exact attributes of the woman posting the response - instead of just letting men state what they actually find attractive.

It's the dumbest thread because young women are actually falling for this BS. The average man finds the average woman attractive, except for the men living in fantasy world. They will go to Incel from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Any guy who would not date a woman with short hair but would date the same woman with long hair is not worth her time. Women should stop falling for this "he just likes" story lines.

Very short hair makes you look older and more like your brother. If you’re having trouble getting dates as a result, your decision.

My husband likes long hair too. But I can guarantee you that he would have dated me with short hair.

All those extra sparkles(hair and make up) help when you are meeting a man in a bar or online. When you interact with someone over and over, and they will not date you because of your hair, you dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Any guy who would not date a woman with short hair but would date the same woman with long hair is not worth her time. Women should stop falling for this "he just likes" story lines.

Very short hair makes you look older and more like your brother. If you’re having trouble getting dates as a result, your decision.

My husband likes long hair too. But I can guarantee you that he would have dated me with short hair.

All those extra sparkles(hair and make up) help when you are meeting a man in a bar or online. When you interact with someone over and over, and they will not date you because of your hair, you dodged a bullet.

“Dodging a bullet” doesn’t compute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Mr. Douche could have responded to what he found attractive and left like the other men did.

Instead he took you girls on a ride about how complex and different he is. Oh so many layers of complexity. Then he ends with the shocker: He is like other men after all. There is this woman who meets his "high standards". But wait, she has short hair and does not wear make up so she fails. So close. .. except he is really not as complex as he thinks he is.

And you are stating how honest and refreshing he is.

If you are still single and thought that this guy's responses were refreshing and honest, you are in trouble. Get your head straight before you end up complaining about your husband in the next DCUM generation.

Mr Douche here. I'm not sure if the quoted poster, or others who took offense, are male or female, but it has prompted one more attribute to add to my list:

Positivity.

There are plenty of people (men and women) who go through life tilting at windmills, or bitching about every perceived slight. Coworkers. Bosses. Friends. Strangers. Everyone is always stupid, incompetent, mean, out to get them, etc. Heck, we see plenty of snark here on DCUM at people asking innocent questions or giving honest answers. Everyone needs to be taken down a peg, and some people are always just the right person for that job!

I think one of the most attractive attributes in a man or a woman is positivity. Be an optimist. Assume positive intent. Be open to new relationships, whether as friends or more. You don't have to be an extrovert, but be open to having good relationships with people in your S/Os life. In the context of male female relationships, too many women I know hate their S/O's friends. Or family. Or coworkers. Or are always complaining about something. Men like laid back, rolling with the punches, and a partner who is easy to please.

Back to my specific situation, the quoted poster needs to work on reading comprehension. I'm happily married, and have been for a dozen years. I'm not looking for a different LTR. My wife more than meets my standards, which is why I snatched her up and have no intention of letting her go (we're discussing having a third child). Heck, 3 of the 4 examples I gave are relatives or friends of my wife's. Obviously I'm not trying to form a LTR with them. I was just saying that these are objectively beautiful women that, knowing what I know about them, I would not want to be in a LTR with. 3 of the 4 reasons why were things in my list (physical affection / intimacy, fitness, and hair). The fourth I just added above.

Which brings us to the hair / makeup thing that has some people up in arms. I'll turn this around. How many women would be attracted to a man with a full-on child-molester mustache? How about a white dude with full-on dreads? The woman I referred to made a conscious choice to embrace a very masculine look, and to the poster that said hyper-short haircuts on women can make them look like your brother, you are spot-on. Honestly, a lot of people started assuming she was gay. On the other thread (about what women like in men), there were comments about a lack of facial hair. I don't think a woman needs to have hair halfway down her back; shoulders, or even chin (like a bob) can look good. But take a man's haircut and put it on a woman, and all but supermodels will generally look more like men. The woman in question coupled it with very baggy pantsuits and no makeup whatsoever, so she just never looked feminine. My wife wears minimal makeup, but coupled with shoulder length hair and dressing well, she's not masculine in the slightest. I'm sure there are guys that are into the men's haircut look; I'm just not one of them.

Finally, thanks to the OP and others who assumed positive intent in my response. You'll notice that every item I listed is a choice or can be changed. You can't easily double the size of your boobs or change the structure of your cheekbones. Too many women go through invasive, costly surgeries (my sister had a nose job, and her best friend just got her boobs done) when they could focus on easier, more directly controllable things like being pleasant to others, wearing sunscreen instead of tanning, getting out and seeing the world (so they have interesting stories and experiences to share), etc.

[Anonymous]

Darn, I was all prepared to find Mr. Douche a douch, but I think he’s right.

Now Basement Dweller - Grade A douche. Actually, that’s too nice of a word for him.

[Anonymous]

I think men and women are looking for similar attributes.

Namely, don't show us one side when you are dating, and turn into a total b*tch/b&stard once you get what you want. I know couples where the guy (that I have seen) gaslights the woman. He acts nice as can be in public, but man is he a passive aggressive dbag in the house. Anyone in public would say, almost automatically "gee, what a nice guy - smart, accomplished, yadda, yadda...." But damn, you could not pay me to live with him for any amount of time because he has his issues - big issues. It is easy to try to blame the woman, isn't it?

I think male PP is being honest, because it is an anon board.

[Anonymous]

About your wife's sister's husband PP, the one who you said doesn't have much sex - do you believe him, or do you think he is looking to step out and have everyone think he not the bad guy? I know guys who lie about not getting sex, and the AP is so dumb, they believe it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Any guy who would not date a woman with short hair but would date the same woman with long hair is not worth her time. Women should stop falling for this "he just likes" story lines.

He is just not that into you if your hair would make such a big difference.

You are obviously a woman, telling us all what men "should" like. Sorry, but I'm a guy who likes a woman to look like a woman. The more feminine the better and hair is a big part of that. But, alter your looks as you wish. Every look will attract a different type for sure. If you want to wear a man's style haircut, you are not worth my time. Besides, I need something to grab onto sometimes.

[Anonymous]

How long of hair are we talking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer a woman who is kinky.

That's a deal breaker for me also but I will add this. I'd rather be in a relationship with a woman who has suppressed kinky desires she never got a chance to explore before, than one who has been practicing kink for some time. I'll help her explore the life. But she still has to have long hair I can grab hold of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 30's caucasian male here, senior executive at a top 20 global brand......
.........
- Former coworker. Great body (D1 track athlete), pretty face, hyper-intelligent and successful ($500k+ annual income by herself), great personality. Keeps cutting her hair, and it's now probably as short as mine. Never wears makeup, or particularly attractive clothing. If she put in a bit of effort, she'd be a 9/10.

Top 20 global brand, top 10 school, top 5 douche.
Get over yourself dude.

PP here. You’re obviously free to think me stating my background is douchey. I think it is relevant.

A majority of answers have either been “I’m attracted to any woman who isn’t fat and will sleep with me. Or “ I want a woman with double Ds”. A lot of guys I went to HS with would give that answer.

But the guys I went to school with and in my professional life are different. Just like George Clooney chose Amal instead of Megan Fox, MDs at Banks and VPs at tech companies want more than just hourglass figures.

I would take a smart, pleasant woman with smallish boobs and a runner’s body that could tell stories about backpacking across Southeast Asia over a cosmetologist that looked like Sofia Vergara any day of the week.

I am an attractive, fit woman with a PhD, and I appreciate your post.

Yeah but you are def not good enough for pp.

MDs don't work at banks.

And the VP already has a job in the government.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the guy clam to be physically perfect? He was answering OP’s question. You know what is unattractive though? Angry, bitter, abrasive.

I’m the OP of this thread, and I appreciate his answer. My question was about what men find physically attractive and he gave a very thorough, thoughtful response. I thought his answers were very respectful.

+1

I liked his post, too!

+1 But I worry for him that someone is going to realize who he is and what he’s said about his wife’s sister and friends, plus his coworker!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is just so much that's straight genetics. Obviously, the girls in the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have the bodies, hair, makeup and attitude tuned to fine perfection of what men desire. If women want to attract men I would say to copy their style as closely as you can including the clothes they wear when not performing because they all seem to know what men like. Besides that have an open heart and a kind personality.

Are you a literal moron?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer a woman who is kinky.

That's a deal breaker for me also but I will add this. I'd rather be in a relationship with a woman who has suppressed kinky desires she never got a chance to explore before, than one who has been practicing kink for some time. I'll help her explore the life. But she still has to have long hair I can grab hold of.

Why? You only want her to be a kinky whore with you? Pig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. I’m pretty easy - just be fit/toned/healthy and a nice person.

+ one million.

Here is how this works:

"A woman with a pleasant disposition and an appealing figure will always be more popular with men than a very pretty woman with neither."

There you have it, ladies. The good news, you've got control over the qualities that are most important to us.