I'd like to tell Sheryl Sandberg to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs in this world, from all backgrounds. And we all need to look for them and lift them up. What is the point in tearing her down if she's sharing her truth? If it doesn't resonate with you, change the channel or pick up another book.

Yes.
This post is part of the reason women haven't risen to the top in the workplace. Everyone wants to cut down and poke holes in an aspiring lifting message from one of the most successful women in Corporate America (through her own hard work- not through marriage or working for Dad). This board is one excuse after another about what's holding women back from success or tearing down Sandberg's success. We have enough to overcome from men, so shouldn't women pull together even more? How about just looking at some of the VERY valid points in the book to help yourself like:
- pick and marry a good life partner (if you don't everything can fall apart. true)
- Don't leave before you leave. I've seen too many women mentally check out or start planning for part-time, while they are pregnant or even just thinking about starting a family. You haven't even had the kid yet. Who knows yet if you really want to stop working.
- attach yourself and become indispensable to bosses above you. When you are their go-to person, they will pull you up with them.

Meanwhile, men pull each other up, look out for each other, overlook the negative, give each other breaks and second chances.
Many women, like me, who work in upper management, know we have to work almost twice as hard as men to overcome all the male... and female bullshit.
I wonder how much further we could go, if women truly supported and cheered for each other the way men do.

+1000. It makes me so sad, whether it is a successful well known woman, or just the usual crapping on working moms or stay at home moms, DCUM is all about putting women down. If a successful woman like Sandberg has a message, it is shot down because it doesn't resonate with everyone, perfectly, in every stage of their life, and she can't possibly relate to the average woman, even though, for many years she WAS the average woman who achieved a great deal of success...which is the damn point of her book.

ITA. I was a SAHM when I read her book, and I didn't feel threatened or pissed. Now, I'm working in a small office of women and I'm the one constantly reminding them (gently) that our women clients, vendors, friends aren't the enemies. It makes me sad. I'm not perfect, nor are my friends, and it's okay. We don't have to take everything so personally.

I totally agree. This thread makes me sad. I remember when her husband died and reading things both here and in other places online where people were positively gleeful. It was gross.

That was before she turned his death into another lecture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs in this world, from all backgrounds. And we all need to look for them and lift them up. What is the point in tearing her down if she's sharing her truth? If it doesn't resonate with you, change the channel or pick up another book.

Yes.
This post is part of the reason women haven't risen to the top in the workplace. Everyone wants to cut down and poke holes in an aspiring lifting message from one of the most successful women in Corporate America (through her own hard work- not through marriage or working for Dad). This board is one excuse after another about what's holding women back from success or tearing down Sandberg's success. We have enough to overcome from men, so shouldn't women pull together even more? How about just looking at some of the VERY valid points in the book to help yourself like:
- pick and marry a good life partner (if you don't everything can fall apart. true)
- Don't leave before you leave. I've seen too many women mentally check out or start planning for part-time, while they are pregnant or even just thinking about starting a family. You haven't even had the kid yet. Who knows yet if you really want to stop working.
- attach yourself and become indispensable to bosses above you. When you are their go-to person, they will pull you up with them.

Meanwhile, men pull each other up, look out for each other, overlook the negative, give each other breaks and second chances.
Many women, like me, who work in upper management, know we have to work almost twice as hard as men to overcome all the male... and female bullshit.
I wonder how much further we could go, if women truly supported and cheered for each other the way men do.

+1000. It makes me so sad, whether it is a successful well known woman, or just the usual crapping on working moms or stay at home moms, DCUM is all about putting women down. If a successful woman like Sandberg has a message, it is shot down because it doesn't resonate with everyone, perfectly, in every stage of their life, and she can't possibly relate to the average woman, even though, for many years she WAS the average woman who achieved a great deal of success...which is the damn point of her book.

ITA. I was a SAHM when I read her book, and I didn't feel threatened or pissed. Now, I'm working in a small office of women and I'm the one constantly reminding them (gently) that our women clients, vendors, friends aren't the enemies. It makes me sad. I'm not perfect, nor are my friends, and it's okay. We don't have to take everything so personally.

I totally agree. This thread makes me sad. I remember when her husband died and reading things both here and in other places online where people were positively gleeful. It was gross.

Yes. When men are out there doing Ted talks on success and how to get ahead, do we psychoanalyze how they got ahead, who helped them, what their home life situation is?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This misses the point. Meg Whitman wrote a book, and no one is complaining about her. It's because she wrote a book about what she thinks is the secret to her success without professing to be starting a "movement" and admonishing women for not have made the same decisions she made. If you're going to proactively tell people you know what they need to be doing and profess to be their champion, then you're going to open yourself up to criticism.

If she just wrote a book about her career and included some reflections on which choices she made were helpful to it, no one would be upset.

Exactly right. Sheryl offers her recipe for female success for $14.99 per book and the recipe is - be born wealthy, be born white, be born pretty, go to Harvard, attract a powerful older male mentor, lean in when doors get opened for you, etc. It's such bullshit.

Plenty of pretty white rich girls who don't go to Harvard and have the career success Sheryl Sandberg has. This thread makes me sad-a bunch of jealous women attacking one of their own for having the temerity to talk about their secret of her success (while a born rich, multiple bankruptcy claiming Donald Trump whose greatest strength is his ego can brag all day long and no one attacks him for it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This misses the point. Meg Whitman wrote a book, and no one is complaining about her. It's because she wrote a book about what she thinks is the secret to her success without professing to be starting a "movement" and admonishing women for not have made the same decisions she made. If you're going to proactively tell people you know what they need to be doing and profess to be their champion, then you're going to open yourself up to criticism.

If she just wrote a book about her career and included some reflections on which choices she made were helpful to it, no one would be upset.

Exactly right. Sheryl offers her recipe for female success for $14.99 per book and the recipe is - be born wealthy, be born white, be born pretty, go to Harvard, attract a powerful older male mentor, lean in when doors get opened for you, etc. It's such bullshit.

Plenty of pretty white rich girls who don't go to Harvard and have the career success Sheryl Sandberg has. This thread makes me sad-a bunch of jealous women attacking one of their own for having the temerity to talk about their secret of her success (while a born rich, multiple bankruptcy claiming Donald Trump whose greatest strength is his ego can brag all day long and no one attacks him for it.)

exactly! not a single critical word was ever uttered on these pages about donald trump. everyone is always so respectful toward him.

[Anonymous]

She is a lovely person. This thread is hateful for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is a lovely person. This thread is hateful for no reason.

+1 I would be proud to have a smart, thoughtful, successful daughter like Sheryl Sandberg. Can't say the same about most of the hateful people posting their jealous, misogynistic rants on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Give me a break, when a person continually seeks the spotlight, whether male or female, people are going to talk about them. If she had not made herself a public figure, this thread would not exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a lovely person. This thread is hateful for no reason.

+1 I would be proud to have a smart, thoughtful, successful daughter like Sheryl Sandberg. Can't say the same about most of the hateful people posting their jealous, misogynistic rants on this thread.

oh i wouldn't mind if my daughter had a great career and was a billionaire, either. but i understand that this was mostly a matter of luck, not hard work and savvy decision-making (those are necessary, too, but only one in a 100,000 doing so will end up in a position similar to hers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This misses the point. Meg Whitman wrote a book, and no one is complaining about her. It's because she wrote a book about what she thinks is the secret to her success without professing to be starting a "movement" and admonishing women for not have made the same decisions she made. If you're going to proactively tell people you know what they need to be doing and profess to be their champion, then you're going to open yourself up to criticism.

If she just wrote a book about her career and included some reflections on which choices she made were helpful to it, no one would be upset.

Exactly right. Sheryl offers her recipe for female success for $14.99 per book and the recipe is - be born wealthy, be born white, be born pretty, go to Harvard, attract a powerful older male mentor, lean in when doors get opened for you, etc. It's such bullshit.

She is not pretty. she looks decent enough but had little to work with.

For Harvard, she is attractive, it's slim pickins' for professors over there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give me a break, when a person continually seeks the spotlight, whether male or female, people are going to talk about them. If she had not made herself a public figure, this thread would not exist.

yes, but there are more respectful classier ways to criticize someone than what the OP did. just because our President has normalized the language of disrespect in public discourse, doesn't mean everyone else should follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This misses the point. Meg Whitman wrote a book, and no one is complaining about her. It's because she wrote a book about what she thinks is the secret to her success without professing to be starting a "movement" and admonishing women for not have made the same decisions she made. If you're going to proactively tell people you know what they need to be doing and profess to be their champion, then you're going to open yourself up to criticism.

If she just wrote a book about her career and included some reflections on which choices she made were helpful to it, no one would be upset.

Exactly right. Sheryl offers her recipe for female success for $14.99 per book and the recipe is - be born wealthy, be born white, be born pretty, go to Harvard, attract a powerful older male mentor, lean in when doors get opened for you, etc. It's such bullshit.

She is not pretty. she looks decent enough but had little to work with.

For Harvard, she is attractive, it's slim pickins' for professors over there.

hahahaha... no, not at all. i can tell you haven't studied at harvard. the most shocking thing for me was how attractive undergrads are. seriously. it's either a crazy coincidence or a part of an admission process. while she is average looking, she was below average there for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This misses the point. Meg Whitman wrote a book, and no one is complaining about her. It's because she wrote a book about what she thinks is the secret to her success without professing to be starting a "movement" and admonishing women for not have made the same decisions she made. If you're going to proactively tell people you know what they need to be doing and profess to be their champion, then you're going to open yourself up to criticism.

If she just wrote a book about her career and included some reflections on which choices she made were helpful to it, no one would be upset.

Exactly right. Sheryl offers her recipe for female success for $14.99 per book and the recipe is - be born wealthy, be born white, be born pretty, go to Harvard, attract a powerful older male mentor, lean in when doors get opened for you, etc. It's such bullshit.

Plenty of pretty white rich girls who don't go to Harvard and have the career success Sheryl Sandberg has. This thread makes me sad-a bunch of jealous women attacking one of their own for having the temerity to talk about their secret of her success (while a born rich, multiple bankruptcy claiming Donald Trump whose greatest strength is his ego can brag all day long and no one attacks him for it.)

If you read the comments, most of the criticism is pretty clearly targeted to her effectively taking credit for the work so many other women have done to advance women in the workplace. It's not about her having the temerity to talk about the secret of her success (which Meg Whitman has done without nearly the same criticism), it's about acting like she has the answer to everyone's problems and also not acknowledging the hard work others have done to make her career possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a lovely person. This thread is hateful for no reason.

+1 I would be proud to have a smart, thoughtful, successful daughter like Sheryl Sandberg. Can't say the same about most of the hateful people posting their jealous, misogynistic rants on this thread.

oh i wouldn't mind if my daughter had a great career and was a billionaire, either. but i understand that this was mostly a matter of luck, not hard work and savvy decision-making (those are necessary, too, but only one in a 100,000 doing so will end up in a position similar to hers).

Well, I've posted many critiques of Sandberg, but I don't think this is one of them. Paris Hilton, maybe. But Sandberg is definitely smart and has worked hard. She has clearly also made some savvy decisions, which is kind of the point of her book. She might have been lucky to have the choices she's had, but she seems to have consistently picked the best of her options, and that is to her credit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This misses the point. Meg Whitman wrote a book, and no one is complaining about her. It's because she wrote a book about what she thinks is the secret to her success without professing to be starting a "movement" and admonishing women for not have made the same decisions she made. If you're going to proactively tell people you know what they need to be doing and profess to be their champion, then you're going to open yourself up to criticism.

If she just wrote a book about her career and included some reflections on which choices she made were helpful to it, no one would be upset.

Exactly right. Sheryl offers her recipe for female success for $14.99 per book and the recipe is - be born wealthy, be born white, be born pretty, go to Harvard, attract a powerful older male mentor, lean in when doors get opened for you, etc. It's such bullshit.

Plenty of pretty white rich girls who don't go to Harvard and have the career success Sheryl Sandberg has. This thread makes me sad-a bunch of jealous women attacking one of their own for having the temerity to talk about their secret of her success (while a born rich, multiple bankruptcy claiming Donald Trump whose greatest strength is his ego can brag all day long and no one attacks him for it.)

If you read the comments, most of the criticism is pretty clearly targeted to her effectively taking credit for the work so many other women have done to advance women in the workplace. It's not about her having the temerity to talk about the secret of her success (which Meg Whitman has done without nearly the same criticism), it's about acting like she has the answer to everyone's problems and also not acknowledging the hard work others have done to make her career possible.

please. she does not need to acknowledge all of those who have come before her. no one criticized Donald Trump for not acknowledging all the hard work that others have done to make his career possible (namely his rich dad) in Art of the Deal. yet that was huge bestseller...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a lovely person. This thread is hateful for no reason.

+1 I would be proud to have a smart, thoughtful, successful daughter like Sheryl Sandberg. Can't say the same about most of the hateful people posting their jealous, misogynistic rants on this thread.

oh i wouldn't mind if my daughter had a great career and was a billionaire, either. but i understand that this was mostly a matter of luck, not hard work and savvy decision-making (those are necessary, too, but only one in a 100,000 doing so will end up in a position similar to hers).

Well, I've posted many critiques of Sandberg, but I don't think this is one of them. Paris Hilton, maybe. But Sandberg is definitely smart and has worked hard. She has clearly also made some savvy decisions, which is kind of the point of her book. She might have been lucky to have the choices she's had, but she seems to have consistently picked the best of her options, and that is to her credit.

hello?? sufficient vs. necessary condition?

yes, sandberg worked hard and made good decision - just like tens of thousands of other people who were nowhere close to her level of success. she was lucky, and that explains most of her success. if she were less lucky she would still be successful but wouldn't be discussing her.

also paris hilton is kind of savvy, too. not a great role model for sure, but she has a good knack for business.