Who is right? Son accidentally took item - disagreement results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually imagined the conversation went like this ("CB" = crazy bitch"):

CB: "Hi, it looks like your son accidentally grabbed my son's swimsuit. We're packing for a trip to the Jersey Shore in the morning. Is there any way we can get it back tonight?"
OP: "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Let me drive it to you."
CB: "That would be great, my address is ---"
OP: "Oh. That's 50 minutes away! My husband is out of town, I have a sleeping baby, and I need to put my other kid to bed. Sorry."
CB: "Oh ok. Can I meet you at address X instead? It's about half as far for you, but I'm in the middle of packing, so I can't get there until 10:00."
OP: "Um...let me check with DCUM and get back to you."

Who is the crazy bitch in this scenario?

Sounds accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is your son's fault.

I'm pretty sure OP knows that.

It's OP job to "fix" it.

I don't think it's hat simple. Other kid should have checked his things, maybe other kid picked up OP's kids suit first and caused it all. Regardless, the lady is out of line.

No, OP said her kid left first and picked up the wrong suit.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of last summer's thread about the kid who had to be picked up at the Jersey Shore or somewhere up 95 hours away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?

javascript:emoticon(''); The kid took the swimsuit. He needs to fix this mistake. Since he is a kid, his parents need to fix the kid's mistake. You are teaching the kid to take responsibility for his own mistake. The other lady did not commit a mistake. She also offered alternatives to the OP, that the OP refused.

OP is entitled. She will raise entitled brats.

OP husband is gone away. She is alone with an infant and 6 year old. You do not ask a mom to drive alone with an infant and 6 year old to meet that distance. You either drive and get your suit or buy another one. She is not entitled. Her child and the mom driving the child made a mistake. Mistakes happen. OP can return the suit on Monday. Other mom can return the suit on Monday. OP can do a Target instore pick up or fedex the suit... lots of options but its not ok to ask someone to drive at that hour.

I would agree with you EXCEPT OP offered. OP should not have offered if she was unwilling. Yes, offering to return something and then refusing to do so is bitchy.

It sounded to me like the OP offered because she assumed that the family lived the same 10 minutes from the private school that she does (and that most normal people would say to just bring the suit to school on Monday). If most of the families live close to the school (which is pretty much true of our private school) but this one family lives far away, she probably assumed it was a much shorter trip when offering and only realized that it was so long when given the address. We go to a NW private but live on Capitol Hill. It's not 50 minutes, but I would never expect another family to drive over here in the middle of the night, with or without a baby, for something so small. Karma is a bitch and my kid is definitely going to screw up the same way at some point because kids just do stuff like this.

I feel like this thread is 99 normal people who agree with the OP and understand the concept of the normal aggravations that come along with having kids and one person who keeps responding (in a fairly easy to spot writing style) who disagrees and is filled with moral outrage. That level of moral outrage must be exhausting to maintain!

How do you know OP isn't the one who lives far? Why are you assuming the other mom is crazy based just on OPs retell?

OP said she offered to meet at the school, which was 10 minutes away from her house. It sounds like the other family lives far from the school.

Of course we have to go on OP's retelling. That is the nature of DCUM. But, based on the facts as she presented them, the other mom clearly has unrealistic expectation for how much effort a person should be required to expend before she replaces a cheap bathing suit. I honestly can't see any scenario in which I would expect another mom to bring back a bathing suit before I go on vacation, especially if I am going to a beach where they will definitely sell bathing suits. If we lived in the same neighborhood, I might ask if I can drive over and pick it up (not ask the other woman to drive) because that effort is less than me stopping to get a new one. Anything over 10 minutes and I would just send an email to the mom asking her to bring the suit to school Mondsy (or maybe not even bother to figure out what happened it it in the first place) and I would pick up a new one along the way. I can't think of a single mom in DS's class who would do anything differently. We are all busy and have plenty of $ and would never bother each other with crap like this.

[Anonymous]

Who has only one bathing suit for a child and that too before leaving for a beach trip?

[Anonymous]

My kids only have one swimming suit each. We washed and air dried after each usage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

The word stolen, by definition, requires intent. Grabbing the wrong swim suit by mistake is not stealing.

Seriously. I'm on the Jersey shore right now and I'm pretty sure I could WALK to the Target here in 15 minutes.

?

The jersey shore isn't a town, people. I assure you that you won't find a Target or a kid's swim trunks for under $40 in Stone Harbor or Avalon. And you won't pass a target on the way there. Those beach towns don't have a boardwalk---just a little Main Street with upscale shops. And the family probably planned to leave at 6am and can't hit a local target on their way out of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can't believe most of the posters are putting the obligation on the wronged party and NOT the OP. Unbelievable.

This. You should have a neighbor of friend you can call to sit with your children at your house so you can leave the house for an hour or two in a situation like this. Did you even try to find someone? You could have just put the kids in the car and let them fall asleep. And if they didn't fall asleep, the next day is a Saturday, they could have slept in to make up for it. You could have offered to get up super early today to drive it back in the AM. Did you offer that? You could have offered to fed ex it overnight to wherever they are staying. Did you offer that? Did you really offer anything?

Get labels for your child, FOR EVERYTHING, like off of mabels labels or something, to prevent this from happening again. You don't know what the deal is with this family, maybe this is the kid's ultimate favorite bathing suit of all time, and they are all sold out that size, who knows. I think it kind of sucks to ask you to drive it a far distance and sure I would be annoyed at both the bathing suit mom AND my kid who should have been old enough to make sure he brought home the correct suit. But that's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids only have one swimming suit each. We washed and air dried after each usage.

But, would you do what the other mom did if your kid lost it at a party and you had to replace it? That is really the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

The word stolen, by definition, requires intent. Grabbing the wrong swim suit by mistake is not stealing.

Seriously. I'm on the Jersey shore right now and I'm pretty sure I could WALK to the Target here in 15 minutes.

?

The jersey shore isn't a town, people. I assure you that you won't find a Target or a kid's swim trunks for under $40 in Stone Harbor or Avalon. And you won't pass a target on the way there. Those beach towns don't have a boardwalk---just a little Main Street with upscale shops. And the family probably planned to leave at 6am and can't hit a local target on their way out of town.

You get to the Jersey shore by driving up 95 for hours. A big box store is not hard to find and don't most people stop for stuff along the way when going on a driving vacation? Come on. You can't possibly be arguing that it is impossible to replace a Target bathing suit while driving through the mid-Atlantic States.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?

javascript:emoticon(''); The kid took the swimsuit. He needs to fix this mistake. Since he is a kid, his parents need to fix the kid's mistake. You are teaching the kid to take responsibility for his own mistake. The other lady did not commit a mistake. She also offered alternatives to the OP, that the OP refused.

OP is entitled. She will raise entitled brats.

OP husband is gone away. She is alone with an infant and 6 year old. You do not ask a mom to drive alone with an infant and 6 year old to meet that distance. You either drive and get your suit or buy another one. She is not entitled. Her child and the mom driving the child made a mistake. Mistakes happen. OP can return the suit on Monday. Other mom can return the suit on Monday. OP can do a Target instore pick up or fedex the suit... lots of options but its not ok to ask someone to drive at that hour.

I would agree with you EXCEPT OP offered. OP should not have offered if she was unwilling. Yes, offering to return something and then refusing to do so is bitchy.

It sounded to me like the OP offered because she assumed that the family lived the same 10 minutes from the private school that she does (and that most normal people would say to just bring the suit to school on Monday). If most of the families live close to the school (which is pretty much true of our private school) but this one family lives far away, she probably assumed it was a much shorter trip when offering and only realized that it was so long when given the address. We go to a NW private but live on Capitol Hill. It's not 50 minutes, but I would never expect another family to drive over here in the middle of the night, with or without a baby, for something so small. Karma is a bitch and my kid is definitely going to screw up the same way at some point because kids just do stuff like this.

I feel like this thread is 99 normal people who agree with the OP and understand the concept of the normal aggravations that come along with having kids and one person who keeps responding (in a fairly easy to spot writing style) who disagrees and is filled with moral outrage. That level of moral outrage must be exhausting to maintain!

How do you know OP isn't the one who lives far? Why are you assuming the other mom is crazy based just on OPs retell?

OP said she offered to meet at the school, which was 10 minutes away from her house. It sounds like the other family lives far from the school.

Of course we have to go on OP's retelling. That is the nature of DCUM. But, based on the facts as she presented them, the other mom clearly has unrealistic expectation for how much effort a person should be required to expend before she replaces a cheap bathing suit. I honestly can't see any scenario in which I would expect another mom to bring back a bathing suit before I go on vacation, especially if I am going to a beach where they will definitely sell bathing suits. If we lived in the same neighborhood, I might ask if I can drive over and pick it up (not ask the other woman to drive) because that effort is less than me stopping to get a new one. Anything over 10 minutes and I would just send an email to the mom asking her to bring the suit to school Mondsy (or maybe not even bother to figure out what happened it it in the first place) and I would pick up a new one along the way. I can't think of a single mom in DS's class who would do anything differently. We are all busy and have plenty of $ and would never bother each other with crap like this.

Nice humble brag on how rich you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

The word stolen, by definition, requires intent. Grabbing the wrong swim suit by mistake is not stealing.

Seriously. I'm on the Jersey shore right now and I'm pretty sure I could WALK to the Target here in 15 minutes.

?

The jersey shore isn't a town, people. I assure you that you won't find a Target or a kid's swim trunks for under $40 in Stone Harbor or Avalon. And you won't pass a target on the way there. Those beach towns don't have a boardwalk---just a little Main Street with upscale shops. And the family probably planned to leave at 6am and can't hit a local target on their way out of town.

You get to the Jersey shore by driving up 95 for hours. A big box store is not hard to find and don't most people stop for stuff along the way when going on a driving vacation? Come on. You can't possibly be arguing that it is impossible to replace a Target bathing suit while driving through the mid-Atlantic States.

It is an inconvience and the whole finding a target, pulling off, finding and buying a suit will probably take 50 minutes. Why should the other mom be subjected to this inconvience but not OP? OP is clearly outsourcing her childcare (see: she didn't go to party or maybe this wouldn't have happened) so of COURSE she thinks she shouldn't have to drive anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?

javascript:emoticon(''); The kid took the swimsuit. He needs to fix this mistake. Since he is a kid, his parents need to fix the kid's mistake. You are teaching the kid to take responsibility for his own mistake. The other lady did not commit a mistake. She also offered alternatives to the OP, that the OP refused.

OP is entitled. She will raise entitled brats.

OP husband is gone away. She is alone with an infant and 6 year old. You do not ask a mom to drive alone with an infant and 6 year old to meet that distance. You either drive and get your suit or buy another one. She is not entitled. Her child and the mom driving the child made a mistake. Mistakes happen. OP can return the suit on Monday. Other mom can return the suit on Monday. OP can do a Target instore pick up or fedex the suit... lots of options but its not ok to ask someone to drive at that hour.

I would agree with you EXCEPT OP offered. OP should not have offered if she was unwilling. Yes, offering to return something and then refusing to do so is bitchy.

It sounded to me like the OP offered because she assumed that the family lived the same 10 minutes from the private school that she does (and that most normal people would say to just bring the suit to school on Monday). If most of the families live close to the school (which is pretty much true of our private school) but this one family lives far away, she probably assumed it was a much shorter trip when offering and only realized that it was so long when given the address. We go to a NW private but live on Capitol Hill. It's not 50 minutes, but I would never expect another family to drive over here in the middle of the night, with or without a baby, for something so small. Karma is a bitch and my kid is definitely going to screw up the same way at some point because kids just do stuff like this.

I feel like this thread is 99 normal people who agree with the OP and understand the concept of the normal aggravations that come along with having kids and one person who keeps responding (in a fairly easy to spot writing style) who disagrees and is filled with moral outrage. That level of moral outrage must be exhausting to maintain!

How do you know OP isn't the one who lives far? Why are you assuming the other mom is crazy based just on OPs retell?

OP said she offered to meet at the school, which was 10 minutes away from her house. It sounds like the other family lives far from the school.

Of course we have to go on OP's retelling. That is the nature of DCUM. But, based on the facts as she presented them, the other mom clearly has unrealistic expectation for how much effort a person should be required to expend before she replaces a cheap bathing suit. I honestly can't see any scenario in which I would expect another mom to bring back a bathing suit before I go on vacation, especially if I am going to a beach where they will definitely sell bathing suits. If we lived in the same neighborhood, I might ask if I can drive over and pick it up (not ask the other woman to drive) because that effort is less than me stopping to get a new one. Anything over 10 minutes and I would just send an email to the mom asking her to bring the suit to school Mondsy (or maybe not even bother to figure out what happened it it in the first place) and I would pick up a new one along the way. I can't think of a single mom in DS's class who would do anything differently. We are all busy and have plenty of $ and would never bother each other with crap like this.

Nice humble brag on how rich you are.

Ha! These people's kids go to private school. I don't think having "plenty of money" to buy a second Target bathing suit really constitutes bragging about being rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?

javascript:emoticon(''); The kid took the swimsuit. He needs to fix this mistake. Since he is a kid, his parents need to fix the kid's mistake. You are teaching the kid to take responsibility for his own mistake. The other lady did not commit a mistake. She also offered alternatives to the OP, that the OP refused.

OP is entitled. She will raise entitled brats.

OP husband is gone away. She is alone with an infant and 6 year old. You do not ask a mom to drive alone with an infant and 6 year old to meet that distance. You either drive and get your suit or buy another one. She is not entitled. Her child and the mom driving the child made a mistake. Mistakes happen. OP can return the suit on Monday. Other mom can return the suit on Monday. OP can do a Target instore pick up or fedex the suit... lots of options but its not ok to ask someone to drive at that hour.

I would agree with you EXCEPT OP offered. OP should not have offered if she was unwilling. Yes, offering to return something and then refusing to do so is bitchy.

It sounded to me like the OP offered because she assumed that the family lived the same 10 minutes from the private school that she does (and that most normal people would say to just bring the suit to school on Monday). If most of the families live close to the school (which is pretty much true of our private school) but this one family lives far away, she probably assumed it was a much shorter trip when offering and only realized that it was so long when given the address. We go to a NW private but live on Capitol Hill. It's not 50 minutes, but I would never expect another family to drive over here in the middle of the night, with or without a baby, for something so small. Karma is a bitch and my kid is definitely going to screw up the same way at some point because kids just do stuff like this.

I feel like this thread is 99 normal people who agree with the OP and understand the concept of the normal aggravations that come along with having kids and one person who keeps responding (in a fairly easy to spot writing style) who disagrees and is filled with moral outrage. That level of moral outrage must be exhausting to maintain!

How do you know OP isn't the one who lives far? Why are you assuming the other mom is crazy based just on OPs retell?

OP said she offered to meet at the school, which was 10 minutes away from her house. It sounds like the other family lives far from the school.

Of course we have to go on OP's retelling. That is the nature of DCUM. But, based on the facts as she presented them, the other mom clearly has unrealistic expectation for how much effort a person should be required to expend before she replaces a cheap bathing suit. I honestly can't see any scenario in which I would expect another mom to bring back a bathing suit before I go on vacation, especially if I am going to a beach where they will definitely sell bathing suits. If we lived in the same neighborhood, I might ask if I can drive over and pick it up (not ask the other woman to drive) because that effort is less than me stopping to get a new one. Anything over 10 minutes and I would just send an email to the mom asking her to bring the suit to school Mondsy (or maybe not even bother to figure out what happened it it in the first place) and I would pick up a new one along the way. I can't think of a single mom in DS's class who would do anything differently. We are all busy and have plenty of $ and would never bother each other with crap like this.

Nice humble brag on how rich you are.

Ha! These people's kids go to private school. I don't think having "plenty of money" to buy a second Target bathing suit really constitutes bragging about being rich.

No, your exact words were that you all "have plenty of $." You have no idea if the family is on scholarship or anything but regardless, IN GENERAL, "we have so much money!" Is T-A-C-K-Y in ANY context.

[Anonymous]

It is an inconvience and the whole finding a target, pulling off, finding and buying a suit will probably take 50 minutes.

50 minutes? Maybe if you're a turtle.