Literally every single MCPS kid I know has a tutor. Do YOU?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, I was just gonna start a new thread asking if I was the only Asian mom that did not use tutors for their kids that are in MCPS. Glad to know I am not alone. Any other Asian moms?

What is considered "enrichment" at home? Taking the kids to the library? Reading to them when they were toddlers? Letting them watch educational programs on tv or on the computer? Then, yes, I am guilty. But I feel that these things can be done by most parents as they don't really cost much money to do, just gas or bus ride to the library. I think it's when the parent starts spending huge amounts of money ($80/hr is a lot folks) for tutors that some people start going

Parental involvement at home leads to enrichment of the kind you have mentioned. Yes, I consider it enrichment because these things are not available to kids from very low SES groups or parents with low educational backgrounds. The ability of a parent to sit with their child when they are doing homework and work with them to make them understand concepts, gives the student a leg-up over other students. A calm, stable home environment, a focus towards academics and extra-curricular activities, exposing children to science, art, culture, language at home - pays dividends in school.

Many parents who are getting tutors for their kids (who are not struggling academically) are doing it because 1) they may not have the time 2) they can afford it 3) they want their kids to have accelerated education 4) their kids advanced academic needs are not met by MCPS 5)they are not able to teach the subject their kid needs help in.

I am very comfortable with all subjects from k-12 (except foreign language) and have no issues teaching them anything they need help in, but I am fine if someone hires a tutor to teach their child. Seriously, there are worse ways to spend $80 an hour. Many parents spend a lot of money on getting their kids coached in sports. They send them to camps, take their children to games, buy sports paraphernalia etc. Getting your kid tutoring is akin to sending a budding athlete to a sports camp. I do not see any harm in it.

And if your kid is doing poor academically? Well, if you can get your child braces because their teeth are crooked, then get them math tutoring if fractions have completely bewildered them!

+1 good post. We do the same. Sometimes, kids just need a little more explanation or someone to work with them to understand it better. I am not help in Math or Spanish so a tutor makes sense.

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

Where are all these ES kids with tutors? My kids have been through ES immersion (one of them) and an ES magnet (the other one). We didn't see any of this tutoring in these public ESs that tend to attract the most competitive parents. We did see a lot of NIH parents doing their kids' science projects for them, but that's a very different problem. Both of my kids also spent some time in private school (1 and 3 years, private was a mistake) and we didn't see any tutoring there, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

Where are all these ES kids with tutors? My kids have been through ES immersion (one of them) and an ES magnet (the other one). We didn't see any of this tutoring in these public ESs that tend to attract the most competitive parents. We did see a lot of NIH parents doing their kids' science projects for them, but that's a very different problem. Both of my kids also spent some time in private school (1 and 3 years, private was a mistake) and we didn't see any tutoring there, either.

I don't know if any parent would publicize it, but clearly, they exist, just read the posts. I have heard from a friend who lives in the Churchill cluster that there are several ES kids in this cluster that have tutors. These are already very bright kids, not struggling ones. And yes, they are typically Asian. Don't go all nuts on me people for stating this. I am Asian, but I don't have a tutor for my HGC kid. If DC needed one to get into HGC, then to me, DC doesn't belong there, and I'm ok with it. It's ES, not HS or college. There are several kids that don't go to HGC and get into Magnet or IB later on. Things that happen in ES don't set your kids' lives in stone for the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

Where are all these ES kids with tutors? My kids have been through ES immersion (one of them) and an ES magnet (the other one). We didn't see any of this tutoring in these public ESs that tend to attract the most competitive parents. We did see a lot of NIH parents doing their kids' science projects for them, but that's a very different problem. Both of my kids also spent some time in private school (1 and 3 years, private was a mistake) and we didn't see any tutoring there, either.

I don't know if any parent would publicize it, but clearly, they exist, just read the posts. I have heard from a friend who lives in the Churchill cluster that there are several ES kids in this cluster that have tutors. These are already very bright kids, not struggling ones. And yes, they are typically Asian. Don't go all nuts on me people for stating this. I am Asian, but I don't have a tutor for my HGC kid. If DC needed one to get into HGC, then to me, DC doesn't belong there, and I'm ok with it. It's ES, not HS or college. There are several kids that don't go to HGC and get into Magnet or IB later on. Things that happen in ES don't set your kids' lives in stone for the future.

Phew! If it's only several ES kids across an entire cluster, and these are Asians following their families' tradition of tutoring outside of school, then this is hardly the epidemic that OP's thread title suggests.

[Anonymous]

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

I'm not sure where you equate tutoring or outside academic classes as stressful or burn out. The kids work at their own pace. The plans are individualized. You're not forcing the kid to do the same boring thing over and over again and there is no deadline that they must master XYZ by a certain time.

My kids were losing their interest in math thanks to MCPS. They enjoy math. They get rewards when they finish a level but its up to them how fast or slow they get there. They also are proud of what they do. For ES age kids being to work fluently with big numbers in your head, solve math puzzles, or use math to build something complicated is cool.

If they had the opportunity to work at an appropriate level of school, develop deeper number sense, and enjoyed it there, we would bother with the outside classes. Since MCPS doesn't provide a quality math education, we replace it after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, I was just gonna start a new thread asking if I was the only Asian mom that did not use tutors for their kids that are in MCPS. Glad to know I am not alone. Any other Asian moms?

What is considered "enrichment" at home? Taking the kids to the library? Reading to them when they were toddlers? Letting them watch educational programs on tv or on the computer? Then, yes, I am guilty. But I feel that these things can be done by most parents as they don't really cost much money to do, just gas or bus ride to the library. I think it's when the parent starts spending huge amounts of money ($80/hr is a lot folks) for tutors that some people start going

Parental involvement at home leads to enrichment of the kind you have mentioned. Yes, I consider it enrichment because these things are not available to kids from very low SES groups or parents with low educational backgrounds. The ability of a parent to sit with their child when they are doing homework and work with them to make them understand concepts, gives the student a leg-up over other students. A calm, stable home environment, a focus towards academics and extra-curricular activities, exposing children to science, art, culture, language at home - pays dividends in school.

Many parents who are getting tutors for their kids (who are not struggling academically) are doing it because 1) they may not have the time 2) they can afford it 3) they want their kids to have accelerated education 4) their kids advanced academic needs are not met by MCPS 5)they are not able to teach the subject their kid needs help in.

I am very comfortable with all subjects from k-12 (except foreign language) and have no issues teaching them anything they need help in, but I am fine if someone hires a tutor to teach their child. Seriously, there are worse ways to spend $80 an hour. Many parents spend a lot of money on getting their kids coached in sports. They send them to camps, take their children to games, buy sports paraphernalia etc. Getting your kid tutoring is akin to sending a budding athlete to a sports camp. I do not see any harm in it.

And if your kid is doing poor academically? Well, if you can get your child braces because their teeth are crooked, then get them math tutoring if fractions have completely bewildered them!

+1 good post. We do the same. Sometimes, kids just need a little more explanation or someone to work with them to understand it better. I am not help in Math or Spanish so a tutor makes sense.

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

I have underlined why someone would get tutoring for their kids even if they are not struggling. Why would you assume that their kids would suffer burnout? You may have valid concerns for your own child's capabilities to cope with extra tutoring - but you are projecting that concern on other people's children. What if these kids thrive because of these kinds of tutoring? We cannot presume to know either what the parents motivations are and where the kid interests lies - for another family. All good parents want the very best for their children.

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

If your kid is naturally good in sports, would you not try and put him in a sports camp and a team so he gets more practice? Would not getting extra coaching mean that he can bring his game up to next level? A good coach can correct some flaws that will hurt later and strengthen areas where your child is weak. Practicing and playing with other athletes will mean that your child will be challenged and learn new strategies and moves. Being part of a team will mean that your kid will get a chance to compete in competitions and tournaments.

This is the same thing with tutoring a bright child. They are not getting remedial help. These children are actually working at levels much above what is required at their school.

[Anonymous]

Will you state your specific grade level goals, i.e., course name (IM, algebra, geometry), for these children for 5th--12th grade?

If not, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

That does not make sense. If the parents are well-educated, they are not low SES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have underlined why someone would get tutoring for their kids even if they are not struggling. Why would you assume that their kids would suffer burnout? You may have valid concerns for your own child's capabilities to cope with extra tutoring - but you are projecting that concern on other people's children. What if these kids thrive because of these kinds of tutoring? We cannot presume to know either what the parents motivations are and where the kid interests lies - for another family. All good parents want the very best for their children.

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

I don't think that's true. Or maybe I'm not a good parent. What I want for my children is good enough. I'm not going to drive myself nuts worrying about the very best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

That does not make sense. If the parents are well-educated, they are not low SES.

Let me give you a scenario. Parents are well educated but immigrants. Their qualifications does not get recognized here or they do not get the breaks here that they need. They do blue-collar work or a low paying job (could be because of Visa status) - and so they are highly educated but low SES.

Not a rare occurrence in the immigrant community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, I was just gonna start a new thread asking if I was the only Asian mom that did not use tutors for their kids that are in MCPS. Glad to know I am not alone. Any other Asian moms?

What is considered "enrichment" at home? Taking the kids to the library? Reading to them when they were toddlers? Letting them watch educational programs on tv or on the computer? Then, yes, I am guilty. But I feel that these things can be done by most parents as they don't really cost much money to do, just gas or bus ride to the library. I think it's when the parent starts spending huge amounts of money ($80/hr is a lot folks) for tutors that some people start going

Parental involvement at home leads to enrichment of the kind you have mentioned. Yes, I consider it enrichment because these things are not available to kids from very low SES groups or parents with low educational backgrounds. The ability of a parent to sit with their child when they are doing homework and work with them to make them understand concepts, gives the student a leg-up over other students. A calm, stable home environment, a focus towards academics and extra-curricular activities, exposing children to science, art, culture, language at home - pays dividends in school.

Many parents who are getting tutors for their kids (who are not struggling academically) are doing it because 1) they may not have the time 2) they can afford it 3) they want their kids to have accelerated education 4) their kids advanced academic needs are not met by MCPS 5)they are not able to teach the subject their kid needs help in.

I am very comfortable with all subjects from k-12 (except foreign language) and have no issues teaching them anything they need help in, but I am fine if someone hires a tutor to teach their child. Seriously, there are worse ways to spend $80 an hour. Many parents spend a lot of money on getting their kids coached in sports. They send them to camps, take their children to games, buy sports paraphernalia etc. Getting your kid tutoring is akin to sending a budding athlete to a sports camp. I do not see any harm in it.

And if your kid is doing poor academically? Well, if you can get your child braces because their teeth are crooked, then get them math tutoring if fractions have completely bewildered them!

+1 good post. We do the same. Sometimes, kids just need a little more explanation or someone to work with them to understand it better. I am not help in Math or Spanish so a tutor makes sense.

No one is saying don't get a tutor for a struggling child. What is bewildering is for those kids in ES that clearly are bright to begin with, why get a tutor? They are just in ES. Aren't you concerned with burnout for such a young kid? I feel like an ES kid should have a chance to be a kid. Schools are more competitive now so I know my kid will face the stress eventually. Why bring it on so early needlessly if your kid is already bright, IMO.

And those in low SES can and do take their kids to the library. You are confusing parents who don't value education vs parents who don't have money. It's more of a cultural thing, rather than an income thing.

I have underlined why someone would get tutoring for their kids even if they are not struggling. Why would you assume that their kids would suffer burnout? You may have valid concerns for your own child's capabilities to cope with extra tutoring - but you are projecting that concern on other people's children. What if these kids thrive because of these kinds of tutoring? We cannot presume to know either what the parents motivations are and where the kid interests lies - for another family. All good parents want the very best for their children.

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

I did not assume anything. I asked it. And you won't know if your ES kid will later suffer burn out or not. You can't see the future, not I for that matter. But I think kids who are tutored in ES have a bigger chance of burn out later than those who are not. Does your kid ever get a whole day just to be a kid, learning to occupy himself, not having anything structured for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have underlined why someone would get tutoring for their kids even if they are not struggling. Why would you assume that their kids would suffer burnout? You may have valid concerns for your own child's capabilities to cope with extra tutoring - but you are projecting that concern on other people's children. What if these kids thrive because of these kinds of tutoring? We cannot presume to know either what the parents motivations are and where the kid interests lies - for another family. All good parents want the very best for their children.

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

I don't think that's true. Or maybe I'm not a good parent. What I want for my children is good enough. I'm not going to drive myself nuts worrying about the very best.

You can choose whatever you want for your kids because it is your life and your kids. I agree that if wanting the very best for your kids will drive you nuts with worry - then you should not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, many in low SES take their kids to the library and focus on enrichment. Unfortunately, in MCPS - majority of poor performing students are also falling in low SES categories. So this is a generalization which works for the majority of children but not all. Perhaps, it is cultural. I would suggest regardless of race and SES, if the parents are well educated they will emphasize education for their children.

That does not make sense. If the parents are well-educated, they are not low SES.

Let me give you a scenario. Parents are well educated but immigrants. Their qualifications does not get recognized here or they do not get the breaks here that they need. They do blue-collar work or a low paying job (could be because of Visa status) - and so they are highly educated but low SES.

Not a rare occurrence in the immigrant community.

No, they are highly educated but poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I did not assume anything. I asked it. And you won't know if your ES kid will later suffer burn out or not. You can't see the future, not I for that matter. But I think kids who are tutored in ES have a bigger chance of burn out later than those who are not. Does your kid ever get a whole day just to be a kid, learning to occupy himself, not having anything structured for him?

Show me the research.

Also - just because I teach my kid does not mean that my kid does not have a childhood, friends, downtime, unstructured time etc. I think you may be projecting here.

If I follow your logic to its conclusion then the kids who are not tutored/enriched etc are 1) low achievers 2) create discipline problems in school 3) are disruptive and disrespectful 4) have unlimited amount of TV viewing time 5) are being raised on junk food 6) have negligent parents.

Not assuming anything either - just curious to know if I just described your kid!