I have 8 kids, ask me anything!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - what is your secret for getting 1 on 1 time with each of the kids? I have 4 children (the oldest is 7) and we are always doing everything together which is fun and we all have a good time, but I think it's important to have individual time(s) with each one of them. There just doesn't seem to be enough in the day though. Any tips?

I actually discussed that here:

No we don't do set special times because like you said, it will set them up for disappointment. We do special times randomly and try not to make a big deal out of it. We don't sit them down and make a list on who gets to talk to me one on one that day. I like to think I am pretty good at reading my kids and when I see that someone needs some time to just talk or be with us(my husband and I) then we plan something. Earlier I said how even a trip to the grocery store can be used as bonding time and it's very true. I've had some very good talks with my kids just the 2 of us in the car on the way to the store. It's not some big special day but they get the chance to be heard loud and clear and I get the chance to fully listen. Also by NOT making these days in to a big deal it lessens what you are talking about. Instead of saying "Colby for your big special day we are going fishing and Alex for your big special day we are going to get gas", we say "Hey Alex, could you ride with me to get gas?" then later "How about we go fishing next weekend colby?". That way it doesn't give room for the kids to compare who had better bonding time. They just see those things as a random trip with mom and dad.

and here:

We don't have a system but we make it work. I've come to realize that even a trip to the grocery store with 1 can be bonding time. Though that's not ideal bonding time lol. We just set aside time based off of who needs it most right now. For example, our 15 year old needs more time right now to be able to talk and be open with us while our little kids would rather have their siblings join us. With that being said, we still make sure to give every one their one on one time.

If those 2 replies aren't what you are looking for, let me know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most PPs have not witnessed families >5. I can't speak to a wealthy family, but most middle class families I knew with >5 kids were chaotic. Their homes and cars were disgusting. The older children cared for the younger. 'Mom' was half-baked. Pregnancies and sleeplessness is hard on the mind. While the kids were great together, it felt like a tribe of kids without a parent.

Wow, I have five kids. Our cars are clean. Food is never allowed in them. Our house is clean, though sometimes a bit messy. Though if you call to say you'll be over in 20 minutes, we can have everything picked up by the time you pull into the driveway. DH and I specifically work at making sure our 2 oldest do NOT take responsibility for the younger ones. Maybe you've just not seen the right families.

TBH the houses were clean in a toys-were-picked-up way. It was dirty in the sense that a layer of grime & stickiness coated everything. There was a smell of spilled milk, diapers, whatever. It was just gross.

Yuck. Our house isn't like that. We only allow drinks and food in the kitchen and dining room. Diapers have always went outside because I know that diaper smell you are talking about and I stress that food be put away as soon as the person is done with it.

[Anonymous]

what is c9bl??

[Anonymous]

Love the picture. You are gorgeous.

On 300K a year, how do you afford private school for seven children?

[Anonymous]

Do all your choices have a negative impact on the world and everyone in it?

[Anonymous]

Large or small families are very individual choices.

But I could never justify having a large family because of the effect of over-population on our planet. It seems so incredibly selfish and myopic.

All the recycling and good environmental things that you may do on a daily basis will never mitigate the effect of all those kids---and their descendants-- on our shared environment over time. The planet cannot sustain it.

Most people who do this are only thinking about themselves---quite literally--- and they are teaching their kids that it is OK not to consider the wider world, the bigger picture, or the effect of their actions on others.

Large families spend alot of time emphasizing sharing, but very little time pondering the impact that they are having on our shared planet. It is quite a contradiction, and one day, I suspect their kids might wonder about that.

[Anonymous]

"Diapers have always went outside..."

?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Large or small families are very individual choices.

But I could never justify having a large family because of the effect of over-population on our planet. It seems so incredibly selfish and myopic.

All the recycling and good environmental things that you may do on a daily basis will never mitigate the effect of all those kids---and their descendants-- on our shared environment over time. The planet cannot sustain it.

Most people who do this are only thinking about themselves---quite literally--- and they are teaching their kids that it is OK not to consider the wider world, the bigger picture, or the effect of their actions on others.

Large families spend alot of time emphasizing sharing, but very little time pondering the impact that they are having on our shared planet. It is quite a contradiction, and one day, I suspect their kids might wonder about that.

/ou are being a bit overdramatic. Think of all the families with only 1-2 kids or even none. It all evens out. Plus someone has to pay for all of the debt we are creating right now. You should graciously thank OP for doing her part by having 8 childre.

[Anonymous]

Late to the party, but can't sleep and dang, there are some seriously negative peeps on here.

While I don't have 8 kids, I am the second of 6 and loved it. Yes, both of my parents have Bachelor's degrees (yes I know, not having something beyond is a shame and all), no, we aren't Christian or similar, no, not lower income.

OP, let the hate roll of off you...this ain't no grammar class

[Anonymous]

/ou are being a bit overdramatic. Think of all the families with only 1-2 kids or even none. It all evens out. Plus someone has to pay for all of the debt we are creating right now. You should graciously thank OP for doing her part by having 8 childre.

I agree. A report on the U. S. fertility rate came out recently and the nation's
Total fertility rate is below replacement level. This fact should concern many of
us, and has potential negative consequences for our future.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is beautiful. I am a mother to one 2.5 year old and just now started to get my body/life/sexy back. Some days I cannot fathom how people have a second child.
I grew up Baptist ... there was one particular family with 6 kids and another with 8. Their mothers were nothing like you, OP- they were angry, haggard, tired, and mean. You actually seem like someone I could be friends with. Kudos to you OP.

[Anonymous]

I agree. A report on the U. S. fertility rate came out recently and the nation's
Total fertility rate is below replacement level. This fact should concern many of
us, and has potential negative consequences for our future.

Why should it concern us? What do you feel that the potential negative consequences of some degree of population decrease are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I agree. A report on the U. S. fertility rate came out recently and the nation's
Total fertility rate is below replacement level. This fact should concern many of
us, and has potential negative consequences for our future.

Why should it concern us? What do you feel that the potential negative consequences of some degree of population decrease are?

Not PP but there might not be enough people working to contribute to a healthy tax base and not enough people to fill jobs eg, related to a majority aging population. This could also decrease the size of the military. It might threaten the country's safety and stability.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you plan on covering any portion of your kids' college education? I know this is something that weighs on my mind when I consider having more children - DH and I wouldn't be able to pay for another DC's college.

Also, and maybe I missed this from earlier posts, but are you in the DC, MD, VA area?

[Anonymous]

"Not PP but there might not be enough people working to contribute to a healthy tax base and not enough people to fill jobs eg, related to a majority aging population. This could also decrease the size of the military. It might threaten the country's safety and stability. "

There is a long, long line of educated/skilled people trying to get into this country. No need for me to be a baby machine.