I have 8 kids, ask me anything!

[Anonymous]

OP you're doing a great job ignoring what I'm assuming is the one hater being obsessive.

What I'd like to know is if you had easy pregnancies. We would LOVE 4 kids, but I am pregnant with me second and both pregnancies have been really really hard for me. I just can't see myself doing it anymore even though I want to.

Did you get severe morning sickness? Exhaustion? Complications with any of them? If so, how did that effect your decision on the next round?

I kind of assume that you just breeze through and are (like my best friend) blessed with comparatively easy pregnancies, but perhaps that is not the case! Looking forward to hearing your answers. And again, thanks for ignoring the vitriol... it really is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're doing a great job ignoring what I'm assuming is the one hater being obsessive.

What I'd like to know is if you had easy pregnancies. We would LOVE 4 kids, but I am pregnant with me second and both pregnancies have been really really hard for me. I just can't see myself doing it anymore even though I want to.

Did you get severe morning sickness? Exhaustion? Complications with any of them? If so, how did that effect your decision on the next round?

I kind of assume that you just breeze through and are (like my best friend) blessed with comparatively easy pregnancies, but perhaps that is not the case! Looking forward to hearing your answers. And again, thanks for ignoring the vitriol... it really is bizarre.

PP, I am not OP, I am C9BL, but I can offer my experience:

I have very difficult pregnancies, with hyperemesis, extreme exhaustion, and so on--but I love being pregnant, and I love giving birth. It's not easy, but I still love it.

As a doula, I have seen secular women have large families even though they have no spiritual reason to be open to life and even though they have very hard pregnancies--because they love giving birth. They experience home birth and love it so much, they have several more. It's quite a sight to behold!

[Anonymous]

I personally would love to have a big family (have been considering adoption for a long time).

How good or how poor a parent is does not depend on how many children they have. Honestly. There are poor parents with one child and there are poor parents with more then one.

One question for the OP (pardon me if its been answered already)- this forum in general talks a lot about outsourcing. People seem to outsource everything. Do you outsource at all? (housekeeping, lawn care, meals, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few logistical issues you might be able to help me with:

--Do you have set "special times" with your kids, or do you just grab opportunities as they arise? I used to have a certain day of the week designated for my kids, but for one, I have more kids than days of the week, and for another, it just set me up to disappoint them when life got in the way or one kid got a Starbucks drink while another got a milkshake. But now that they had a taste of it, they aren't satisfied with haphazard special times! I despise myself when they look crestfallen with disappointment, but I don't have a solution--help!

--Do your kids have issues sharing their rooms? Even if we were fabulously wealthy, I would still have them share, but the older they get, the more disputes arise. We have a girls room and a boys room, and there are nonstop issues of neatness or personal decorative tastes...I get tired of being the mediator. Do you have any hard and fast rules that minimize these issues?

--Do any of your kids require an exceptional amount of attention? If so, how do you satisfy them without rewarding negative attention-seeking?

--How do you keep up with the mess?? We homeschool, so everyone is always home, and it seems impossible to keep on top of things, but once we get behind, we get REALLY behind. Am I just temperamentally unsuited to the situation? Remember, I'm actually a crazy cat lady

--Do things get easier once you have a driver? My oldest will have her license in the spring, and I am just holding on until then.

--(These questions are just for fun) Did you ever have a homebirth? Were your kids able to be at any of your births?

You know, people always tell me I look impossibly young to have nine kids, but I think you have me beat! You look lovely, like you are enjoying every second. I think that's inspirational.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can share!

No we don't do set special times because like you said, it will set them up for disappointment. We do special times randomly and try not to make a big deal out of it. We don't sit them down and make a list on who gets to talk to me one on one that day. I like to think I am pretty good at reading my kids and when I see that someone needs some time to just talk or be with us(my husband and I) then we plan something. Earlier I said how even a trip to the grocery store can be used as bonding time and it's very true. I've had some very good talks with my kids just the 2 of us in the car on the way to the store. It's not some big special day but they get the chance to be heard loud and clear and I get the chance to fully listen. Also by NOT making these days in to a big deal it lessens what you are talking about. Instead of saying "Colby for your big special day we are going fishing and Alex for your big special day we are going to get gas", we say "Hey Alex, could you ride with me to get gas?" then later "How about we go fishing next weekend colby?". That way it doesn't give room for the kids to compare who had better bonding time. They just see those things as a random trip with mom and dad.

Miraculously, I have been blessed with kids who are sound sleepers and don't mind sharing a room. They actually love it! We live in a 6 bedroom house. 17 year old has her own, 15 year old has her own, the 2 boys share, the 3 little girls share, and the youngest gets her own. I do think it's important that kids have their own space but that doesn't necessarily mean they need their own room. As long as their siblings are taught to be respectful then things should run smoothly. We have had times where the girls get a little sassy and want to be alone but how does that work when someone else's favorite toy is in that room?! That's where the respect plays in. The child who wants to be alone has to understand that she can't hog the room to herself all day and her siblings need to understand that it won't kill them to wait an hour to get to that toy. As for decorations and such, compromise! I say that word nearly 10 times a day I think. Our house would be nothing without that word. Before we lived here our oldest 2 shared and they both have very different tastes. My 15 year old is girly and bold while my 17 year old is more in to soft colors and not a lot of girly things. It was hard because both REALLY wanted to paint their rooms to match bedspreads and accessories that they loved. My 15 year old wanted dark purple and lime green. My 17 year old wanted a very pale yellow. We compromised by doing the North and South walls a toned down lime green with yellow East and West walls. It looked really nice and the lime green made our 15 year old happy while the yellow made our 17 year old happy. It didn't completely fix things but it did stop the arguing a bit. Once we moved and they got their own rooms, WOW. They were ecstatic!

None of my kids are huge attention seekers. As individuals, most of my kids are shy and keep to themselves but even the most shy need attention from time to time. We do what we can to stay on top of balancing the attention between all but it's very easy to put a lot of focus on the crazy toddler while our 12 year old just quietly sits in his chair. I think we've made it very clear that negative actions will be "rewarded" with negative outcomes. No one wants to be punished. If they do for some reason start acting out to look for attention we will first correct that behavior then focus on what he or she needs from us.

How do I keep up with the mess? I don't homeschool, that's for sure! lol. I think that is really great that you can and do but it's not for us. I just would not be able to keep up. I wish I could give you some advice in this area but I can not. Those 7 hours spent in school help out a lot. Even with them in school we get behind on stuff! We just do our best to stay in a routine and do things according to schedule.

Our oldest driving is honestly the best thing that could happen to this family. Just kidding(sort of), but she LOVES driving so she is always offering to take this kid here or go pick something up for us. It's wonderful.

Our last 4 were home births. I sincerely wish I had the guts to deliver all 8 at home. My homebirths were incredibly smooth, relaxing, and comfortable! Don't get me wrong, all of the births of my children were amazing but I wish I would have had them all at home. It made everything better to have them in my home. All of our kids were home during the births and the older ones would come in sometimes to check on me(which was so very sweet). None of them actually witnessed me giving birth to any of the children though.

Thanks so much for the complements! You guys are really making me blush I do feel like my kids keep me young and full of life.




P.S. Sorry for being so lengthy with this post! Once I get to talking, I just don't stop I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why?

Why do we have 8 kids? It's simple really. My husband impregnanted me 8 times and the outcome of 8 pregnancies are 8 children.

You're lucky. Not everyone's pregnancies are that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I didnt understand the hatred towards you until you posted a pic. Now I'm angry too. You're beautiful.

How often do you work out? What is your skincare routine?

I do a 30-40 minute workout while the kids are in school and DD8 takes a nap. During the summer we would all go out to ride bikes after dinner but now that it's cold we don't like taking all of the kids out. However, my 17 year old and I will get up early about 3 times a week to ride our bikes before she has to get ready for school. We also try to go to the gym as a family once a week for about 2 hours.


I haven't found my set routine for skin care yet. I'm still trying to figure out what is working best and what I can get in the habit of using every day!


Thank you, btw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you foster your children's individuality? Like your youngest girl- does she get to select her own clothes and toys or does she get many-times-used hand-me-downs?

Do you work outside the home? If not, do you plan to at some point?

Believe it or not, my children love hand-me-downs. I don't know why but the little girls in particular are THRILLED when they find out they can fit in to one of their older sister's shirts. It makes them feel more grown up I suppose. Still, we like to make them feel special by buying nice, new things. They all get new back to school clothes and new clothes for Christmas.

No, I'm a stay at home mom with no plans to enter the work force again. By the time my youngest is out of the house I may have grandchildren around and I want to be able to enjoy that time. I feel as though I'm at a point in my life where I just want to sit back and enjoy the ones I love most!

[Anonymous]

"I think most PPs have not witnessed families >5. I can't speak to a wealthy family, but most middle class families I knew with >5 kids were chaotic. Their homes and cars were disgusting. The older children cared for the younger. 'Mom' was half-baked. Pregnancies and sleeplessness is hard on the mind. While the kids were great together, it felt like a tribe of kids without a parent."

OMG - THIS is my neighbor - totally ignores all of the children, they try take care of themselves, its horrible. Except they are a tribe not so great together, and would be far better off in other circumstances. My good friend is a top lawyer for DSS and sees this all the time. Very, very sad.

OP, you sound mentally grounded (unlike my neighbor), so I really like your story. My neighbor, OTOH, needs to stop trying to please her insane, controlling husband. It makes her the same way - and results in a insane, irresponsible, chaotic mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why?

Why do we have 8 kids? It's simple really. My husband impregnanted me 8 times and the outcome of 8 pregnancies are 8 children.

You're lucky. Not everyone's pregnancies are that simple.

I know. I'm very grateful that I never had to deal with infertility or health problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're doing a great job ignoring what I'm assuming is the one hater being obsessive.

What I'd like to know is if you had easy pregnancies. We would LOVE 4 kids, but I am pregnant with me second and both pregnancies have been really really hard for me. I just can't see myself doing it anymore even though I want to.

Did you get severe morning sickness? Exhaustion? Complications with any of them? If so, how did that effect your decision on the next round?

I kind of assume that you just breeze through and are (like my best friend) blessed with comparatively easy pregnancies, but perhaps that is not the case! Looking forward to hearing your answers. And again, thanks for ignoring the vitriol... it really is bizarre.

PP, I am not OP, I am C9BL, but I can offer my experience:

I have very difficult pregnancies, with hyperemesis, extreme exhaustion, and so on--but I love being pregnant, and I love giving birth. It's not easy, but I still love it.

As a doula, I have seen secular women have large families even though they have no spiritual reason to be open to life and even though they have very hard pregnancies--because they love giving birth. They experience home birth and love it so much, they have several more. It's quite a sight to behold!

I have a lot of respect for your outlook. I think I have a very hard time loving being pregnant because I am really sick AND working AND keeping up with a toddler AND my pregnancy has complications. Between hyperemisis and sciatica pain (really bad) and way more exhaustion and being high risk, it's just killing me and wearing me thin.

Any advice on how you do it again with hyperemisis and knowing it's coming but this time with ANOTHER child to care for than last time? How do you function? Half the time I can barely get off the sofa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're doing a great job ignoring what I'm assuming is the one hater being obsessive.

What I'd like to know is if you had easy pregnancies. We would LOVE 4 kids, but I am pregnant with me second and both pregnancies have been really really hard for me. I just can't see myself doing it anymore even though I want to.

Did you get severe morning sickness? Exhaustion? Complications with any of them? If so, how did that effect your decision on the next round?

I kind of assume that you just breeze through and are (like my best friend) blessed with comparatively easy pregnancies, but perhaps that is not the case! Looking forward to hearing your answers. And again, thanks for ignoring the vitriol... it really is bizarre.

A lot of the times I did get really bad morning sickness but only in the 1st trimester. It didn't have a huge effect on me because I knew it was only a short amount of time that I would go through this and I would get a wonderful child out of it. Thankfully, I never had any huge problems that caused me to doubt if another pregnancy would be worth it.

The way I see it, what's 9 months of discomfort compared to a life time of love? Please don't take that the wrong way. If you can't handle another pregnancy, I don't look down on you. Everyone knows what their limit is and if this is as far as you can go then that's okay. You will have 2 children who I'm sure provide you with more than enough love and joy. Good luck with making whatever decision you do!

[Anonymous]

OP if you didn't have a c-section why did you get your tubes tied? Your husband wouldn't get a vasectomy?

[Anonymous]

OP - what is your secret for getting 1 on 1 time with each of the kids? I have 4 children (the oldest is 7) and we are always doing everything together which is fun and we all have a good time, but I think it's important to have individual time(s) with each one of them. There just doesn't seem to be enough in the day though. Any tips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most PPs have not witnessed families >5. I can't speak to a wealthy family, but most middle class families I knew with >5 kids were chaotic. Their homes and cars were disgusting. The older children cared for the younger. 'Mom' was half-baked. Pregnancies and sleeplessness is hard on the mind. While the kids were great together, it felt like a tribe of kids without a parent.

Wow, I have five kids. Our cars are clean. Food is never allowed in them. Our house is clean, though sometimes a bit messy. Though if you call to say you'll be over in 20 minutes, we can have everything picked up by the time you pull into the driveway. DH and I specifically work at making sure our 2 oldest do NOT take responsibility for the younger ones. Maybe you've just not seen the right families.

TBH the houses were clean in a toys-were-picked-up way. It was dirty in the sense that a layer of grime & stickiness coated everything. There was a smell of spilled milk, diapers, whatever. It was just gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if you didn't have a c-section why did you get your tubes tied? Your husband wouldn't get a vasectomy?

We just never discussed him getting a vasectomy. We decided we were done having children and I made the decision to have my tubes tied. That was that.