women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I disagree. I'm not postponing my happiness NOW for the eventual payoff when I'm 60 or 65. "

When do you think you'll be able to retire, or you don't care?

I work and I'm planning (but not aggressively) for retirement. I'm enjoying my life now as well. Rather than work extremely hard now and totally relax in my retirement, I'd rather ration my relaxation as I age. I don't understand the mindset of people who delay their happiness until retirement. I'm not saying be entirely irresponsible, but live a little!

Working and raising children does not mean I'm not happy in the here and now. I just can't see giving up a good six figure job so I can be home at 3:30 instead of 5:30.

Well, like I said...different priorities. I would happily trade the difference in my salary for that reduction of hours.

My kids like to decompress before they talk to us about their days, so being with them an hour and a half or two hours after school ends works for our family.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP, and I'll add that I do have a BA degree, which plenty of people tell me that I don't use. I just don't use it how they think I should be using it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

Same here. Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

He's not bored with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

He's not bored with you?

Not the pp but how does this question even make sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

Gag!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

He's not bored with you?

Not the pp but how does this question even make sense?

My husband's first wife didn't work, and he got bored to death that she never had anything interesting to talk to him about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAH wife, and I never ask my husband for money. We have always had joint bank accounts and both will discuss if either of us wants to make a large purchase. This is no difference with that between the times I'm working and the times I'm not. I don't look at it as his money because having a SAHW allows him to be a better worker. He doesn't worry about dry-cleaning, laundry, dinner, housecleaning. All he has to do is go to work. He never has to leave early to pick up his car at the shop. He used to get phone calls from his mom during work, but now she can call me if she needs something. We live on less money, but we are very happy with this arrangement. Now, Saturdays involve just spending time together, not running errands when the stores are the most crowded. I don't worry about what will happen if he runs off. I supported myself before, and I would be able to again. However, this is not likely to happen because we have built our marriage in a way that we are both dependent on each other. It's probably not for everyone, but I love taking care of my husband, and he loves taking care of me.

Of course, there are plenty of people online and in real life judging me for this. Do I care? Nope.

He's not bored with you?

Not the pp but how does this question even make sense?

My husband's first wife didn't work, and he got bored to death that she never had anything interesting to talk to him about.

Well then that is a specific fear that you have about your marriage and so the setup pp has wouldn't work for you. Obviously hers works for her and her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women in my experience who don't work but have no kids (or ill relatives), to put it bluntly, are too low on the IQ scale to have any intellectual pursuits - staying home and doing nothing but shopping, cooking/cleaning, talking on the phone, going to the beach, and facebooking is more than enough to fill all of their time and satisfy their intellectual hunger.

Of course, I have seen posts on here of SAH wives who find what to me sound like more interesting things to fill the time, but these women are surely in the minority (and are clearly of more than average or below average intelligence).

Exactly! I know one woman who doesn't work and doesn't have kids, and she wouldn't be able to find and hold a job if her life depended on it. And she's not a bad person, just not the smartest tool in the shed. So she's really lucky she was able to get married and find someone who pays her bills. At least, for now.

Wow....why do you even have an opinion? Maybe there is something you don't know going on with the woman you know. It sounds to me as if you wish you were "lucky"....and you are not. Did you marry a looser, or are you just insecure?

A loser is someone who doesn't know how to spell a 'loser'. And everyone is entitled to their opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It's all about priorities. I work out of necessity, but would LOVE to be home with my children. I place my family above all else. It bothers me that I'm not home when my children get home from school. I should be there for them.

I could care less about "achieving something in the workplace". I am not irreplaceable; most people aren't. Besides, I'll be an empty nester before I'm 45. Barring a major catastrophic event, my time left to work outweighs the time I will have to parent my minor children. "

It's not just about priorities, it's about different personalities and life experiences and time lines. I work purely from personal choice (my DH makes over $200,000 and we have no mortgage or other debt). When I was 45, my children were 11 and 9. I will have a kid in college until I'm 59. I'm sure not planning to work much beyond 62 or so, so if I don't continue to work while I have kids at home (until I'm 55), I don't have any meaningful time life to have a career rather than just a job. You work for the money not because you like what you do. Just so you know, just because I'm not home when the kids get out of school in no way means I place my work above my family.

I agree...different personalities. Unless I'm kicked out of the workforce, I'll probably always work in some capacity, but most likely on a part-time basis. Rather than take all of my pleasure at once (kicking back and doing nothing when retired), I prefer to have pleasure throughout my life. I'm saving for retirement now, but I'm not really being aggressive about it. I'm much more interested in acquiring rental property for eventual retirement income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I disagree. I'm not postponing my happiness NOW for the eventual payoff when I'm 60 or 65. "

When do you think you'll be able to retire, or you don't care?

I work and I'm planning (but not aggressively) for retirement. I'm enjoying my life now as well. Rather than work extremely hard now and totally relax in my retirement, I'd rather ration my relaxation as I age. I don't understand the mindset of people who delay their happiness until retirement. I'm not saying be entirely irresponsible, but live a little!

Working and raising children does not mean I'm not happy in the here and now. I just can't see giving up a good six figure job so I can be home at 3:30 instead of 5:30.

Well, like I said...different priorities. I would happily trade the difference in my salary for that reduction of hours.

My kids like to decompress before they talk to us about their days, so being with them an hour and a half or two hours after school ends works for our family.

This response is................wacky.

[Anonymous]

Lots of men would rather be married to women who have their own interesting days than women who take care of all of their needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I disagree. I'm not postponing my happiness NOW for the eventual payoff when I'm 60 or 65. "

When do you think you'll be able to retire, or you don't care?

I work and I'm planning (but not aggressively) for retirement. I'm enjoying my life now as well. Rather than work extremely hard now and totally relax in my retirement, I'd rather ration my relaxation as I age. I don't understand the mindset of people who delay their happiness until retirement. I'm not saying be entirely irresponsible, but live a little!

Working and raising children does not mean I'm not happy in the here and now. I just can't see giving up a good six figure job so I can be home at 3:30 instead of 5:30.

Well, like I said...different priorities. I would happily trade the difference in my salary for that reduction of hours.

My kids like to decompress before they talk to us about their days, so being with them an hour and a half or two hours after school ends works for our family.

This response is................wacky.

...so there's no need for me to be home at 3:30 instead of 5:30 just to hang with my kids....

[Anonymous]

This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?