How old were you when you had your first baby and how many did you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and THEN switching to a more demanding career once the kids are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I wasn't even married when I was 28. Should I have gotten knocked up by a bunch of guys just so I could get pregnant before I was "too old" according to you?

28 was too old for me. Why are you so defensive? You can get knocked up by whomever you wish. For my 4 kids, I stuck with one guy (my hubby). Stop being so insecure about your choices......you're my #1 complaint about older moms....so damn sensitive.

I'm not sensitive. I actually LIKE being an older mom b/c I don't feel the need to breed like a rabbit and surround myself with children to fill a void. Once you hit a certain age, you just chill out and relax. It is what it is. And with my two unplanned children, I know for a fact that I wasn't necessarily selfish in having them.

Ouch - sensitive AND insecure. Very unbecoming on someone of such a 'mature' age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and THEN switching to a more demanding career once the kids are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I wasn't even married when I was 28. Should I have gotten knocked up by a bunch of guys just so I could get pregnant before I was "too old" according to you?

28 was too old for me. Why are you so defensive? You can get knocked up by whomever you wish. For my 4 kids, I stuck with one guy (my hubby). Stop being so insecure about your choices......you're my #1 complaint about older moms....so damn sensitive.

I'm not sensitive. I actually LIKE being an older mom b/c I don't feel the need to breed like a rabbit and surround myself with children to fill a void. Once you hit a certain age, you just chill out and relax. It is what it is. And with my two unplanned children, I know for a fact that I wasn't necessarily selfish in having them.

Older mom here. PP just reeks of insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Another older mom here. I would not change anything, for I would not have my DC.

[Anonymous]

I'm 38 and TTC for #1 with donor sperm. I did two cycles w/ frozen (last fall at 37) and so far two w/ a known donor but no luck so far... Hopefully I'll have my one and only by 39.

[Anonymous]

#1 at 31, #2 at 33. I don't think 35 is too old to start, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and THEN switching to a more demanding career once the kids are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I wasn't even married when I was 28. Should I have gotten knocked up by a bunch of guys just so I could get pregnant before I was "too old" according to you?

28 was too old for me. Why are you so defensive? You can get knocked up by whomever you wish. For my 4 kids, I stuck with one guy (my hubby). Stop being so insecure about your choices......you're my #1 complaint about older moms....so damn sensitive.

I'm not sensitive. I actually LIKE being an older mom b/c I don't feel the need to breed like a rabbit and surround myself with children to fill a void. Once you hit a certain age, you just chill out and relax. It is what it is. And with my two unplanned children, I know for a fact that I wasn't necessarily selfish in having them.

Your insecurity, sensitivity, and rudeness are all showing.

You seem like the one with a void to fill.

[Anonymous]

I'm 28 and TTC. I know we're on the young side for DC, but we really want to have kids when are parents are young enough to be involved in their lives and we feel like we're ready after 3 years of marriage. We met in college and married 2 years after graduation. My parents were in their 40s when they had me, so they're in their 70s now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious about those of you who started having in your mid-late 30s whether there is an age difference with you and your spouse. We are expecting our first, late thirties mom, mid forties dad feels like he is going to be the oldest dad on the planet. Any other first-time mid-late 40s dads out there?

Nope. DH was 38 and I was 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and THEN switching to a more demanding career once the kids are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I wasn't even married when I was 28. Should I have gotten knocked up by a bunch of guys just so I could get pregnant before I was "too old" according to you?

28 was too old for me. Why are you so defensive? You can get knocked up by whomever you wish. For my 4 kids, I stuck with one guy (my hubby). Stop being so insecure about your choices......you're my #1 complaint about older moms....so damn sensitive.

I'm not sensitive. I actually LIKE being an older mom b/c I don't feel the need to breed like a rabbit and surround myself with children to fill a void. Once you hit a certain age, you just chill out and relax. It is what it is. And with my two unplanned children, I know for a fact that I wasn't necessarily selfish in having them.

You really have an ugly, on the defensive response style and you make assumptions about why some women would have children at a younger age than others. The poster to whom you responded was only sharing her feelings about why she was glad she had children at a younger age. She wasn't critical of others. Why are you?

Agreed. You are really, really mean. Why on earth would you suggest that because she had her kids young she felt the need to "fill a void"? Or "breed like a rabbit"?

I had my kids young as well. And just like women who choose to wait until they are older, I had my reasons. I didn't want to risk all the problems with fertility and fetal abnormalities associated with having children later. It's a very valid concern.

same here. My mother had uterine cancer in her 20s so I didn't want to chance it. #1 at 25, #2 at 27.... and #3 at 32

[Anonymous]

"insecure" older mom here:

really not insecure at all

I'm tired of women defining themselves by the number of kids they have.

At my "advanced" age, I had two unexpected (to some extent b/c there's always a chance) pregnancies.

Having kids is selfish. I believe this, and I've read many other posts who state this.

Be honest, ladies. Those of you just dying to have kids - multiple kids, for that matter - have kids for yourselves. You don't want to die alone or you have this desire to surround yourself with a support system.

I was perfectly content being childless, especially marrying late in life. It just so happened that I had two. And they're wonderful, healthy kids.

[Anonymous]

34 with first, had 2nd at 38....plenty of my friends had their first at 38+ even 40+ or #3 at 40+ (and naturally, esp. oddly enough the Irish?! is it the Guiness, is it the cheer? who knows...but seriously!)...you will be fine....

[Anonymous]

PP, Dad was in his 40s with both....and his friend had his first at 47....keeps them plenty young

[Anonymous]

OP -- you can't take a survey of people to find out when YOUR window is closed. You simply need to test your blood for hormones (any GYN can order it). I happen to be 42 and I'm totally DONE having kids, but the GYN ordered the test for another reason and turns out I'm very fertile. My mother had children in her 40's as well (no defects/Down's Syn). Perhaps it is genetic for me (oh great!).

On the other hand, I have a friend who had "old eggs" at 30. So, your window really depends only on YOUR body.

As far as whether it is ideal or not to have kids in your later 30's or 40's --- it's just not something you can change if you want to have kids and the opportunity doesn't arise until you are late 30's or 40's. So, why worry about it?

Good luck. And the rest of the people insisting that one age is too old and another age is too young... can we just let it go? As long as you can take care of the child and yourself, any age is a fine age for having a child.

[Anonymous]

Be honest, ladies. Those of you just dying to have kids - multiple kids, for that matter - have kids for yourselves. You don't want to die alone or you have this desire to surround yourself with a support system.

This has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever read. The thought of "dying alone" or "desire to surround myself with a support system" never even entered my mind. I have my husband, my sisters and brothers, my parents, my in-laws, my friends, and the rest of my nutty family to provide "support" whether I want it or not.

I had kids because I have always wanted to be a mother. The idea that my husband and I created these wonderful little people together is nothing short of amazing to me. I had kids because I wanted to raise educated, productive, compassionate people who would benefit society whether in a really big way, or in hundreds of small ways. I had kids because besides my husband, nothing in this world matters more to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"insecure" older mom here:

really not insecure at all

I'm tired of women defining themselves by the number of kids they have.

At my "advanced" age, I had two unexpected (to some extent b/c there's always a chance) pregnancies.

Having kids is selfish. I believe this, and I've read many other posts who state this.

Be honest, ladies. Those of you just dying to have kids - multiple kids, for that matter - have kids for yourselves. You don't want to die alone or you have this desire to surround yourself with a support system.

I was perfectly content being childless, especially marrying late in life. It just so happened that I had two. And they're wonderful, healthy kids.

This is one of the strangest DCUM posts I've ever read, and that is saying a lot.

Dear lady, when I married my husband, part of my wedding vows was to accept children lovingly as gifts from God. Every time we make love, we renew our vows with our bodies. We could have been blessed with two children or twenty, or we could have been blessed with no children of our own, or with special needs kids, and we would have been blessed in any case, because we would have embraced the full meaning of the gift of sex.

It is possible to turn children into a commodity, into things, but the fact that they are unique, priceless beings with inherent value doesn't change.