How old were you when you had your first baby and how many did you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"insecure" older mom here:

really not insecure at all

I'm tired of women defining themselves by the number of kids they have.

At my "advanced" age, I had two unexpected (to some extent b/c there's always a chance) pregnancies.

Having kids is selfish. I believe this, and I've read many other posts who state this.

Be honest, ladies. Those of you just dying to have kids - multiple kids, for that matter - have kids for yourselves. You don't want to die alone or you have this desire to surround yourself with a support system.

I was perfectly content being childless, especially marrying late in life. It just so happened that I had two. And they're wonderful, healthy kids.

I'm the Mom you originally insulted. You should probably stop posting.....your "contributions" are getting more and more strange. In case you didn't know, when you die, whether surrounded by 100 or 0, I'm pretty sure you die alone anyway. What an absurd position.

[Anonymous]

First married at 40. First child at 41, second child at 43. No prior children, no fertility treatments. Uneventful pregnancies, easy natural deliveries, normal healthy kids. So OP, 35 isn't necessarily too late. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I have a question. How did all the people wherever you are from meet their spouses so young? I didn't even meet DH until I was 27.

Met my husband when I was 21 right after I graduated from college - roommate of one of my best friends. Married at 24, kids at 31 and 35. We weren't ready for a long time, in part due to my mother's horrendous illness and my not wanting to handle that at the same time as babies.

[Anonymous]

Married at 26, #1 at 28 and #2 a month shy of 32. I feel like a pretty young mom around here though I've met a couple moms at my DC's school who seem to be about the same age as me. Funny thing is we are all from the Midwest (and yes, we all have advanced degrees).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and kids are and THEN switching to a more demanding career once they are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I don't care when people choose to have children - it obviously depends upon the circumstances. Not everybody meets their partner early in life or wants to have kids in their early 20s. OTOH, I can say that it is definitely not easier to have a "more demanding career" when your kids are in middle school. Between their schedules and issues that come up in their lives, I found it much easier to have a demanding career when my kids were babies. The thought that 28 felt too old is a little odd; I can almost guarantee that when you are 40 or 45 you will probably not 'feel' old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"insecure" older mom here:

really not insecure at all

I'm tired of women defining themselves by the number of kids they have.

At my "advanced" age, I had two unexpected (to some extent b/c there's always a chance) pregnancies.

Having kids is selfish. I believe this, and I've read many other posts who state this.

Be honest, ladies. Those of you just dying to have kids - multiple kids, for that matter - have kids for yourselves. You don't want to die alone or you have this desire to surround yourself with a support system.

I was perfectly content being childless, especially marrying late in life. It just so happened that I had two. And they're wonderful, healthy kids.

While I agree that having children is, on some level, a selfish act I certainly did not reproduce at a "young" age because I felt a void. I was happily married for several years and my DH and wanted to be parents. It's just that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and kids are and THEN switching to a more demanding career once they are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I don't care when people choose to have children - it obviously depends upon the circumstances. Not everybody meets their partner early in life or wants to have kids in their early 20s. OTOH, I can say that it is definitely not easier to have a "more demanding career" when your kids are in middle school. Between their schedules and issues that come up in their lives, I found it much easier to have a demanding career when my kids were babies. The thought that 28 felt too old is a little odd; I can almost guarantee that when you are 40 or 45 you will probably not 'feel' old.

I have children that range from 2 to 15. My 2 y/o is who holds me back from doing something more demanding. I prefer the flexibility of being able to get home to her. Now...my 15 y/o.......she's self-sufficient. Rides the school bus, comes home on her own, etc. She's more academically vs. sports inclined, so not many extra-curriculars (unless they're school-related). I don't raise children with "schedules", so this point does not apply to my family structure.

Luckily, my 2 y/o stays with my Mom, so there's very little need to take off when she, or my 9 y/o son, is sick, but if she were in day care (will start soon), I could imagine having to take off when she's not well, etc. No need to do that with older teens (unless they're very sick, of course). YMMV, but as I have children that are in pretty much in all age brackets (2, 9, 12, 15), I can say that the younger years are the most demanding and "hands-on" for me.

Hopefully, I won't feel I'm old at 45. My children will range in ages from to 17-30, so hubby and I will have a lot more freedom to roam!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"insecure" older mom here:

really not insecure at all

I'm tired of women defining themselves by the number of kids they have.

At my "advanced" age, I had two unexpected (to some extent b/c there's always a chance) pregnancies.

Having kids is selfish. I believe this, and I've read many other posts who state this.

Be honest, ladies. Those of you just dying to have kids - multiple kids, for that matter - have kids for yourselves. You don't want to die alone or you have this desire to surround yourself with a support system.

I was perfectly content being childless, especially marrying late in life. It just so happened that I had two. And they're wonderful, healthy kids.

Why didn't you use birth control if you didn't want kids? I've never had sex without birth control unless I wanted children. I have two children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and kids are and THEN switching to a more demanding career once they are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I don't care when people choose to have children - it obviously depends upon the circumstances. Not everybody meets their partner early in life or wants to have kids in their early 20s. OTOH, I can say that it is definitely not easier to have a "more demanding career" when your kids are in middle school. Between their schedules and issues that come up in their lives, I found it much easier to have a demanding career when my kids were babies. The thought that 28 felt too old is a little odd; I can almost guarantee that when you are 40 or 45 you will probably not 'feel' old.

I have children that range from 2 to 15. My 2 y/o is who holds me back from doing something more demanding. I prefer the flexibility of being able to get home to her. Now...my 15 y/o.......she's self-sufficient. Rides the school bus, comes home on her own, etc. She's more academically vs. sports inclined, so not many extra-curriculars (unless they're school-related). I don't raise children with "schedules", so this point does not apply to my family structure.

Luckily, my 2 y/o stays with my Mom, so there's very little need to take off when she, or my 9 y/o son, is sick, but if she were in day care (will start soon), I could imagine having to take off when she's not well, etc. No need to do that with older teens (unless they're very sick, of course). YMMV, but as I have children that are in pretty much in all age brackets (2, 9, 12, 15), I can say that the younger years are the most demanding and "hands-on" for me.

Hopefully, I won't feel I'm old at 45. My children will range in ages from to 17-30, so hubby and I will have a lot more freedom to roam!!!!

Totally disagree. My 14 yearold needs me much more than she did at age 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and kids are and THEN switching to a more demanding career once they are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I don't care when people choose to have children - it obviously depends upon the circumstances. Not everybody meets their partner early in life or wants to have kids in their early 20s. OTOH, I can say that it is definitely not easier to have a "more demanding career" when your kids are in middle school. Between their schedules and issues that come up in their lives, I found it much easier to have a demanding career when my kids were babies. The thought that 28 felt too old is a little odd; I can almost guarantee that when you are 40 or 45 you will probably not 'feel' old.

I have children that range from 2 to 15. My 2 y/o is who holds me back from doing something more demanding. I prefer the flexibility of being able to get home to her. Now...my 15 y/o.......she's self-sufficient. Rides the school bus, comes home on her own, etc. She's more academically vs. sports inclined, so not many extra-curriculars (unless they're school-related). I don't raise children with "schedules", so this point does not apply to my family structure.

Luckily, my 2 y/o stays with my Mom, so there's very little need to take off when she, or my 9 y/o son, is sick, but if she were in day care (will start soon), I could imagine having to take off when she's not well, etc. No need to do that with older teens (unless they're very sick, of course). YMMV, but as I have children that are in pretty much in all age brackets (2, 9, 12, 15), I can say that the younger years are the most demanding and "hands-on" for me.

Hopefully, I won't feel I'm old at 45. My children will range in ages from to 17-30, so hubby and I will have a lot more freedom to roam!!!!

Totally disagree. My 14 yearold needs me much more than she did at age 4.

I agree, but in my case my teen kids old "have" to be away from home/me for several hours of the week, between school, sports, and volunteer activities. So it's easier for me to work at this stage. Yes, it's important to have flexiblity but there is no need for me to sit at home the 35 or so hours a week they are busy and wouldn't be talking to me anyway. Might as well be earning a living. Agree I wouldn't want a very demanding job at this stage but betwen my husband and I flexing schedules, it's no different than having a SAHP.

[Anonymous]

35 # 1
37 # 2

[Anonymous]

Married at 37. First child at 41 following a 3 year struggle with infertility. Ultimately used donor eggs. I'm not sure yet if we'll have #2. We have one more frozen embryo on ice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married at 26, #1 at 28 and #2 a month shy of 32. I feel like a pretty young mom around here though I've met a couple moms at my DC's school who seem to be about the same age as me. Funny thing is we are all from the Midwest (and yes, we all have advanced degrees).

My family's all from Wisconsin, and my cousins all got married at 25 or younger, even my cousin with her MD. For some reason, Midwestern gals are happy settling down and not too interested in playing the field. No way could I have been monogamous at that age.

[Anonymous]

First at 35. Second 1 month after I turned 38.

Pregnant with both on first try. Very easy pregnancies and deliveries. Great, easy-going kids.

I was open to 3- but found 2 to be perfect for us so I didn't go that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a young Mom (the poster with 4 kids...I'm 31). #4 was delivered when I was 28...and I felt that was too old!! I definitely didn't want to be pregnant after age 30. Though my situation is far from ideal, I prefer the easier career route while kids are younger and THEN switching to a more demanding career once the kids are middle school-aged. Though a lot of work, I love our large family and wouldn't change a thing.

I wasn't even married when I was 28. Should I have gotten knocked up by a bunch of guys just so I could get pregnant before I was "too old" according to you?

28 was too old for me. Why are you so defensive? You can get knocked up by whomever you wish. For my 4 kids, I stuck with one guy (my hubby). Stop being so insecure about your choices......you're my #1 complaint about older moms....so damn sensitive.

Pot calling Kettle.. If you are that secure, then why do you feel the need to explain that your 4 kids have the same baby daddy instead of 4 different ones?