High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

op - yes they would like a school with a lot of sports and that is academically 'good'. he has expressed interest in the burbs.
It will be an adjustment but I can't keep throwing huge amounts of money downstream at schools where the ROI is so arbitrary. If I could go back in time i would 100% choose public. Saving and investing that money would have been much smarter IMO than a situation where I will have thrown over half a million dollars at a school who comes up with 'have you thought about basis or dwight' as their best suggestion. I'd have been able to buy him an apartment rather than hoping he can buy it himself in a world where he's gone to dwight and lehigh and anyway AI has taken all the jobs.

I was with you and sympathetic until this point. Now I think you are unhinged and there is just a bit of schadenfreude. Your kid is in 7th grade and you are predicting his life is screwed up because of his K-8? And Lehigh is a perfectly fine school.

Your kid probably takes after you: a total lack of resilience, an inability to think creatively and problem solve, and a lack of work ethic to earn what you deserve (e.g a school better than Dwight/Lehigh) Btw. I have no affiliation to any of these schools and colleges as I am from DC where my child attends a rigorous school and got into their first choice for college.

Op - well if he takes after me he’ll go to an ivy and make 7 figures so let’s hope so. But sure - go off

If you make 7 figures then you wouldn't be whining over and over and over again about how much you are spending for private school. It would be a drop in the bucket.

At first you came across as somewhat sincere. But you have really gone downhill over the course of this thread. Perhaps the people at school think you are the problem and TT schools will interview you and quickly figure this out and not let your otherwise qualified kid in?

1mm a year is about 500k after taxes in NYC. She has three kids at this private, so subtract 210k from that. She has 290k in discretionary income. You do the math on a mortgage, monthlies, summer camps, and 1-2 reasonable vacations a year. 1mm is nothing in nyc without strict budgeting. Of course, you wouldn’t know that if you made 10mm+ in nyc or if you weren’t from there. So no, she is not rich, not even close, and she should be furious about spending this money for……Dwight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

op - yes they would like a school with a lot of sports and that is academically 'good'. he has expressed interest in the burbs.
It will be an adjustment but I can't keep throwing huge amounts of money downstream at schools where the ROI is so arbitrary. If I could go back in time i would 100% choose public. Saving and investing that money would have been much smarter IMO than a situation where I will have thrown over half a million dollars at a school who comes up with 'have you thought about basis or dwight' as their best suggestion. I'd have been able to buy him an apartment rather than hoping he can buy it himself in a world where he's gone to dwight and lehigh and anyway AI has taken all the jobs.

I was with you and sympathetic until this point. Now I think you are unhinged and there is just a bit of schadenfreude. Your kid is in 7th grade and you are predicting his life is screwed up because of his K-8? And Lehigh is a perfectly fine school.

Your kid probably takes after you: a total lack of resilience, an inability to think creatively and problem solve, and a lack of work ethic to earn what you deserve (e.g a school better than Dwight/Lehigh) Btw. I have no affiliation to any of these schools and colleges as I am from DC where my child attends a rigorous school and got into their first choice for college.

Op - well if he takes after me he’ll go to an ivy and make 7 figures so let’s hope so. But sure - go off

If you make 7 figures then you wouldn't be whining over and over and over again about how much you are spending for private school. It would be a drop in the bucket.

At first you came across as somewhat sincere. But you have really gone downhill over the course of this thread. Perhaps the people at school think you are the problem and TT schools will interview you and quickly figure this out and not let your otherwise qualified kid in?

1mm a year is about 500k after taxes in NYC. She has three kids at this private, so subtract 210k from that. She has 290k in discretionary income. You do the math on a mortgage, monthlies, summer camps, and 1-2 reasonable vacations a year. 1mm is nothing in nyc without strict budgeting. Of course, you wouldn’t know that if you made 10mm+ in nyc or if you weren’t from there. So no, she is not rich, not even close, and she should be furious about spending this money for……Dwight

1. I didn't see that they had three kids. This thread has gotten out of control so not easy to keep track
2. Still doesn't excuse the whining
3. If they have three kids (there are male posters here so I prefer to be gender neutral), they should have thought about this before a) having three kids, and b) starting them out in private
4. If they have three kids, how they interact with the school, what they choose for HS and potentially moving to the burbs impacts a lot of people, not just this one kid. It is a very different conversation
5. This thread is out of control and is really dumb. On to bigger and better things.
6. Go Knicks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)

I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.

We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).

Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.

A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.

Different poster - thanks for sharing. I am interested in going a similar route with my kids - public for younger years and apply to private for HS. How was the transition from public to private for your kids? Pros/cons of this path? TYSM

They were both behind in math - which I think was more about Covid than curriculum. Publics were remote when privates went hybrid. For quite a while. Studying for the SHSAT helped fill in some blanks. But they got great grades in HS. I think it helped that they had done so little homework in middle school. they were the opposite of burned out.

Also, socially, I felt public middle school was a little behind private. In a good way. Again, this was during Covid so it didn't really impact my kids and their private peers, but I saw it in other grades.

This board always talks about how the HYP kids from private are all legacies donors institutional priorities. Was it easy for your kids to find a niche and stand out at your private to gain acceptance? I assume they got in unconnected?

They were unconnected, although I think TT NYC privates kids are all connected in a way. Colleges know these school. But yes, you're bumping up against very very connected kids. And your competition are your classmates to some extent. If you're not the uber connected, probably better to zig where they zag.

My kids had great grades - which took a lot of work but no tutors - and leadership within the school, which wasn't easy but wasn't hard. They also gravitated to their niche pretty easily - you're either a debate kid or a theater kid or a math kid. I wouldn't try to make a kid something they're not. Being a boy in humanities helps. Paid real work helps. I listened to a lot of podcasts tbh. I think I sort of understood what was going to help an unconnected kid at a private school. Narrow academic interest, rigor, "grit" (a summer job at shake shack stands out in the pile from these schools), and a national award in .. debate or math or whatever to "certify" the stats. And an essay that pulls all that together.

Can you talk about what you liked / appreciated about the public school education part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

op - yes they would like a school with a lot of sports and that is academically 'good'. he has expressed interest in the burbs.
It will be an adjustment but I can't keep throwing huge amounts of money downstream at schools where the ROI is so arbitrary. If I could go back in time i would 100% choose public. Saving and investing that money would have been much smarter IMO than a situation where I will have thrown over half a million dollars at a school who comes up with 'have you thought about basis or dwight' as their best suggestion. I'd have been able to buy him an apartment rather than hoping he can buy it himself in a world where he's gone to dwight and lehigh and anyway AI has taken all the jobs.

I was with you and sympathetic until this point. Now I think you are unhinged and there is just a bit of schadenfreude. Your kid is in 7th grade and you are predicting his life is screwed up because of his K-8? And Lehigh is a perfectly fine school.

Your kid probably takes after you: a total lack of resilience, an inability to think creatively and problem solve, and a lack of work ethic to earn what you deserve (e.g a school better than Dwight/Lehigh) Btw. I have no affiliation to any of these schools and colleges as I am from DC where my child attends a rigorous school and got into their first choice for college.

Op - well if he takes after me he’ll go to an ivy and make 7 figures so let’s hope so. But sure - go off

If you make 7 figures then you wouldn't be whining over and over and over again about how much you are spending for private school. It would be a drop in the bucket.

At first you came across as somewhat sincere. But you have really gone downhill over the course of this thread. Perhaps the people at school think you are the problem and TT schools will interview you and quickly figure this out and not let your otherwise qualified kid in?

1mm a year is about 500k after taxes in NYC. She has three kids at this private, so subtract 210k from that. She has 290k in discretionary income. You do the math on a mortgage, monthlies, summer camps, and 1-2 reasonable vacations a year. 1mm is nothing in nyc without strict budgeting. Of course, you wouldn’t know that if you made 10mm+ in nyc or if you weren’t from there. So no, she is not rich, not even close, and she should be furious about spending this money for……Dwight

1. I didn't see that they had three kids. This thread has gotten out of control so not easy to keep track
2. Still doesn't excuse the whining
3. If they have three kids (there are male posters here so I prefer to be gender neutral), they should have thought about this before a) having three kids, and b) starting them out in private
4. If they have three kids, how they interact with the school, what they choose for HS and potentially moving to the burbs impacts a lot of people, not just this one kid. It is a very different conversation
5. This thread is out of control and is really dumb. On to bigger and better things.
6. Go Knicks!

I think her “whining” is helpful for a lot of parents considering K-8. They now know Dwight is perfectly acceptable as an outcome and no cause for alarm if that is the most likely end point for a given 5th grader.

Again, any reasonable parent paying 500k+ per student (700k+ for those entering K-8 now) would be PO’d at Dwight as an outcome with a major heads up.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have three kids. Nowhere does she whine about them or the expense of three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

op - yes they would like a school with a lot of sports and that is academically 'good'. he has expressed interest in the burbs.
It will be an adjustment but I can't keep throwing huge amounts of money downstream at schools where the ROI is so arbitrary. If I could go back in time i would 100% choose public. Saving and investing that money would have been much smarter IMO than a situation where I will have thrown over half a million dollars at a school who comes up with 'have you thought about basis or dwight' as their best suggestion. I'd have been able to buy him an apartment rather than hoping he can buy it himself in a world where he's gone to dwight and lehigh and anyway AI has taken all the jobs.

I was with you and sympathetic until this point. Now I think you are unhinged and there is just a bit of schadenfreude. Your kid is in 7th grade and you are predicting his life is screwed up because of his K-8? And Lehigh is a perfectly fine school.

Your kid probably takes after you: a total lack of resilience, an inability to think creatively and problem solve, and a lack of work ethic to earn what you deserve (e.g a school better than Dwight/Lehigh) Btw. I have no affiliation to any of these schools and colleges as I am from DC where my child attends a rigorous school and got into their first choice for college.

Op - well if he takes after me he’ll go to an ivy and make 7 figures so let’s hope so. But sure - go off

If you make 7 figures then you wouldn't be whining over and over and over again about how much you are spending for private school. It would be a drop in the bucket.

At first you came across as somewhat sincere. But you have really gone downhill over the course of this thread. Perhaps the people at school think you are the problem and TT schools will interview you and quickly figure this out and not let your otherwise qualified kid in?

1mm a year is about 500k after taxes in NYC. She has three kids at this private, so subtract 210k from that. She has 290k in discretionary income. You do the math on a mortgage, monthlies, summer camps, and 1-2 reasonable vacations a year. 1mm is nothing in nyc without strict budgeting. Of course, you wouldn’t know that if you made 10mm+ in nyc or if you weren’t from there. So no, she is not rich, not even close, and she should be furious about spending this money for……Dwight

1. I didn't see that they had three kids. This thread has gotten out of control so not easy to keep track
2. Still doesn't excuse the whining
3. If they have three kids (there are male posters here so I prefer to be gender neutral), they should have thought about this before a) having three kids, and b) starting them out in private
4. If they have three kids, how they interact with the school, what they choose for HS and potentially moving to the burbs impacts a lot of people, not just this one kid. It is a very different conversation
5. This thread is out of control and is really dumb. On to bigger and better things.
6. Go Knicks!

I think her “whining” is helpful for a lot of parents considering K-8. They now know Dwight is perfectly acceptable as an outcome and no cause for alarm if that is the most likely end point for a given 5th grader.

Again, any reasonable parent paying 500k+ per student (700k+ for those entering K-8 now) would be PO’d at Dwight as an outcome with a major heads up.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have three kids. Nowhere does she whine about them or the expense of three.

Don't have three kids and complain about the expense involved. If it is critical to you to be able to pay for private school (and it apparently was for this parent as they opted to do so), then don't have three kids if paying for private school will be a burden.

Having kids is a business decision. I hate to take the romance out of it. Especially having more than two (obviously excluding those who have twins).

If this parent could have easily afforded private school, they would not be going on and on about wasting their money on it. But clearly sacrifices were made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

op - yes they would like a school with a lot of sports and that is academically 'good'. he has expressed interest in the burbs.
It will be an adjustment but I can't keep throwing huge amounts of money downstream at schools where the ROI is so arbitrary. If I could go back in time i would 100% choose public. Saving and investing that money would have been much smarter IMO than a situation where I will have thrown over half a million dollars at a school who comes up with 'have you thought about basis or dwight' as their best suggestion. I'd have been able to buy him an apartment rather than hoping he can buy it himself in a world where he's gone to dwight and lehigh and anyway AI has taken all the jobs.

I was with you and sympathetic until this point. Now I think you are unhinged and there is just a bit of schadenfreude. Your kid is in 7th grade and you are predicting his life is screwed up because of his K-8? And Lehigh is a perfectly fine school.

Your kid probably takes after you: a total lack of resilience, an inability to think creatively and problem solve, and a lack of work ethic to earn what you deserve (e.g a school better than Dwight/Lehigh) Btw. I have no affiliation to any of these schools and colleges as I am from DC where my child attends a rigorous school and got into their first choice for college.

Op - well if he takes after me he’ll go to an ivy and make 7 figures so let’s hope so. But sure - go off

If you make 7 figures then you wouldn't be whining over and over and over again about how much you are spending for private school. It would be a drop in the bucket.

At first you came across as somewhat sincere. But you have really gone downhill over the course of this thread. Perhaps the people at school think you are the problem and TT schools will interview you and quickly figure this out and not let your otherwise qualified kid in?

1mm a year is about 500k after taxes in NYC. She has three kids at this private, so subtract 210k from that. She has 290k in discretionary income. You do the math on a mortgage, monthlies, summer camps, and 1-2 reasonable vacations a year. 1mm is nothing in nyc without strict budgeting. Of course, you wouldn’t know that if you made 10mm+ in nyc or if you weren’t from there. So no, she is not rich, not even close, and she should be furious about spending this money for……Dwight

1. I didn't see that they had three kids. This thread has gotten out of control so not easy to keep track
2. Still doesn't excuse the whining
3. If they have three kids (there are male posters here so I prefer to be gender neutral), they should have thought about this before a) having three kids, and b) starting them out in private
4. If they have three kids, how they interact with the school, what they choose for HS and potentially moving to the burbs impacts a lot of people, not just this one kid. It is a very different conversation
5. This thread is out of control and is really dumb. On to bigger and better things.
6. Go Knicks!

I think her “whining” is helpful for a lot of parents considering K-8. They now know Dwight is perfectly acceptable as an outcome and no cause for alarm if that is the most likely end point for a given 5th grader.

Again, any reasonable parent paying 500k+ per student (700k+ for those entering K-8 now) would be PO’d at Dwight as an outcome with a major heads up.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have three kids. Nowhere does she whine about them or the expense of three.

Don't have three kids and complain about the expense involved. If it is critical to you to be able to pay for private school (and it apparently was for this parent as they opted to do so), then don't have three kids if paying for private school will be a burden.

Having kids is a business decision. I hate to take the romance out of it. Especially having more than two (obviously excluding those who have twins).

If this parent could have easily afforded private school, they would not be going on and on about wasting their money on it. But clearly sacrifices were made.

Oh honey. People with 500mm+ watch their pennies and ensure their ROI is maximized in even the smallest of expenditures to the extent their bandwidth allows. They make these same complaints and would be furious at 700k down the drain for….Dwight. And no, they don’t all get into TTs. Many actually strike out.

Op didn’t complain about the cost as an absolute or even the cost of three kids. She complained about the value of that 700k. If her son went to Dalton she wouldn’t miss that money for a second

[Anonymous]

op - we have 2 kids.

to other posters point, $1m after tax and in NYC is absolutely not like having a money tree. NYC is SO expensive (I am preaching to the choir as you all get it and I think just the DC poster is not accustomed to our insane pricing). I also haven't always made 7 figures and private school has not been a slam dunk. Honestly if you are spending $250k pre tax income each year for 2 kids at private school, you have to be in a pretty insane income bracket to not even think about that expense. And to the points that have been made before, it's about the ROI. The thing I keep coming back to is I could have saved $600k, sent dc to a public and still probably got him into Dwight. That $600k would have probably worked harder for me elsewhere; and I did work insanely hard to earn that money and made sacrifices as most people would. If i could go back in time, I think I would not do private at least for elementary. OR I wish I'd really held the school to account a few years ago when I started asking them where he was tracking towards and they demurred. Yes it would have been uncomfortable to say - look - I need names. But I would at least have had a sense of what was to come. Having a kid who never asks for help with homework, who doesn't need to be cajoled into doing it, who has never had a tutor recommended, and told dwight as a first option is a level of cognitive dissonance no one should be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op - we have 2 kids.

to other posters point, $1m after tax and in NYC is absolutely not like having a money tree. NYC is SO expensive (I am preaching to the choir as you all get it and I think just the DC poster is not accustomed to our insane pricing). I also haven't always made 7 figures and private school has not been a slam dunk. Honestly if you are spending $250k pre tax income each year for 2 kids at private school, you have to be in a pretty insane income bracket to not even think about that expense. And to the points that have been made before, it's about the ROI. The thing I keep coming back to is I could have saved $600k, sent dc to a public and still probably got him into Dwight. That $600k would have probably worked harder for me elsewhere; and I did work insanely hard to earn that money and made sacrifices as most people would. If i could go back in time, I think I would not do private at least for elementary. OR I wish I'd really held the school to account a few years ago when I started asking them where he was tracking towards and they demurred. Yes it would have been uncomfortable to say - look - I need names. But I would at least have had a sense of what was to come. Having a kid who never asks for help with homework, who doesn't need to be cajoled into doing it, who has never had a tutor recommended, and told dwight as a first option is a level of cognitive dissonance no one should be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to experience.

Not rubbing it in, the K-8 played you. They knew fully well no one asking these questions wants Dwight. And they hid the reality and what they saw as the final outcome. It’s totally shabby. I’d write a comment on Niche and other review sites (Google too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op - we have 2 kids.

to other posters point, $1m after tax and in NYC is absolutely not like having a money tree. NYC is SO expensive (I am preaching to the choir as you all get it and I think just the DC poster is not accustomed to our insane pricing). I also haven't always made 7 figures and private school has not been a slam dunk. Honestly if you are spending $250k pre tax income each year for 2 kids at private school, you have to be in a pretty insane income bracket to not even think about that expense. And to the points that have been made before, it's about the ROI. The thing I keep coming back to is I could have saved $600k, sent dc to a public and still probably got him into Dwight. That $600k would have probably worked harder for me elsewhere; and I did work insanely hard to earn that money and made sacrifices as most people would. If i could go back in time, I think I would not do private at least for elementary. OR I wish I'd really held the school to account a few years ago when I started asking them where he was tracking towards and they demurred. Yes it would have been uncomfortable to say - look - I need names. But I would at least have had a sense of what was to come. Having a kid who never asks for help with homework, who doesn't need to be cajoled into doing it, who has never had a tutor recommended, and told dwight as a first option is a level of cognitive dissonance no one should be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to experience.

I don’t know where you went off track. Most people start tutoring their child at 1-2 year old. Not because they are behind, but to get ahead of the assessment for preschool and K. There is never an expectation it the school that going to be doing the heavy lifting, but the parents.

You would have to lack awareness of the NYC private school scene to randomly sign up your child to a bad school and hope for a good outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op - we have 2 kids.

to other posters point, $1m after tax and in NYC is absolutely not like having a money tree. NYC is SO expensive (I am preaching to the choir as you all get it and I think just the DC poster is not accustomed to our insane pricing). I also haven't always made 7 figures and private school has not been a slam dunk. Honestly if you are spending $250k pre tax income each year for 2 kids at private school, you have to be in a pretty insane income bracket to not even think about that expense. And to the points that have been made before, it's about the ROI. The thing I keep coming back to is I could have saved $600k, sent dc to a public and still probably got him into Dwight. That $600k would have probably worked harder for me elsewhere; and I did work insanely hard to earn that money and made sacrifices as most people would. If i could go back in time, I think I would not do private at least for elementary. OR I wish I'd really held the school to account a few years ago when I started asking them where he was tracking towards and they demurred. Yes it would have been uncomfortable to say - look - I need names. But I would at least have had a sense of what was to come. Having a kid who never asks for help with homework, who doesn't need to be cajoled into doing it, who has never had a tutor recommended, and told dwight as a first option is a level of cognitive dissonance no one should be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to experience.

I don’t know where you went off track. Most people start tutoring their child at 1-2 year old. Not because they are behind, but to get ahead of the assessment for preschool and K. There is never an expectation it the school that going to be doing the heavy lifting, but the parents.

You would have to lack awareness of the NYC private school scene to randomly sign up your child to a bad school and hope for a good outcome.

It hasn’t been established that it’s a bad K-8

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier. I don't understand the meltdown over the admissions office throwing out Dwight as a suggestion. Apply where you want. Pick some TTs, 2Ts, 3Ts and hustle. Attend everything. Tutor for ISEE. I say this from experience at a warm but mediocre K-8. We got into 1 TT (but you only need one!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier. I don't understand the meltdown over the admissions office throwing out Dwight as a suggestion. Apply where you want. Pick some TTs, 2Ts, 3Ts and hustle. Attend everything. Tutor for ISEE. I say this from experience at a warm but mediocre K-8. We got into 1 TT (but you only need one!).

At this point the OP seems more stuck on wanting affirmation that she got had by the school than any real action. They've gotten a ton of sympathy, empathy and solid advice and encouragement that this doesn't have to be a doomsday scenario. So to reiterate: yes, we understand why you feel like the school wasn't honest about your child's progress, yes we believe they could have been more transparent earlier about your child's exmissions future, yes, you spent a lot of money. God speed and good luck.

[Anonymous]

Curious what sort of support your K-8 provides. Ours offers ISEE/ interview prep, one-on-one counseling sessions as needed and streamlines the transcript and recommendation process. I did most of the heavy lifting myself but the school was helpful in certain areas. Here’s some advice based on my experiences over the past couple of years:

1.Get an ISEE tutor now and schedule weekly sessions starting now and continue through the summer and into the fall. Make sure the tutor is giving your kid assignments between sessions. Take a practice ISEE under the conditions of the actual test and do this several times between now and the fall. Can your kid take the test at school?If not, schedule the test in the fall and then you will have the opportunity to take it again in December. Prep for the ISEE is usually adequate for the SHSAT and HSPT but there are differences. We were focused on privates and catholics so we did ISEE prep until October and then shifted to HSPT prep. The content of all three tests is similar but the format is different so just be aware of that.

2. Do your own research on schools now and go to any spring open houses available to 7th graders. Most of the schools do not have spring open houses but we went to events at Grace, Xavier and FP in the spring of 7th grade and that was useful because it meant we didn’t have to go to events for those schools in the fall. Some of the public schools have spring events too. Keep in mind that the fall of 8th grade is very intense so any work that you and your child can frontload now and over the summer will be very helpful. You will be spending every weekend in October and early Nov and many weeknights going to open house events and you will both miss a lot of school/work going to tours and interviews so try and be realistic about your list going into the process. Unfortunately, most of the private schools don’t let you tour until you’ve submitted the initial application but it is helpful to think through what is realistic in terms of culture, fit, workload and commute before you start applying. Even if you have a brilliant kid, if you know they won’t be able to handle or enjoy a very heavy workload and long commute don’t bother applying to HM. Also think about the culture of money at some of these schools. You can afford to pay the tuition but do you want to be at a place where the kids are regularly spending $40 for lunch at Butterfield Market or spending weekends at their summer houses. Is your child the kind of kid who will feel less than if surrounded by people with a lot more money.

3. If you’re going to consider public school then join the “applying to high school in NYC” facebook page now. You will get lots of good advice on schools and navigating the system. If you are going to apply to schools other than SHSAT then you need to figure out how your child’s transcript will be converted for the public school ranking system and your need to get in the system so you’re issued a RAN. For private schools, think carefully about fit, culture and your expectations around ROI. The experience will be very similar to the K-8. You will do most of the heavy lifting in regards to preparing for college admissions and if you know you’ll be very unhappy with an outcome that’s not T20 school then think before shelling out over 70k a year, not least because you will be putting a lot of pressure on your child if the only happy outcome is an extremely selective college. Also remember that the tuition bills don’t end at high school. If you are paying for private school in NYC then you are unlikely to get financial aid for college and will graduate from 70k a year to 90k a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious what sort of support your K-8 provides. Ours offers ISEE/ interview prep, one-on-one counseling sessions as needed and streamlines the transcript and recommendation process. I did most of the heavy lifting myself but the school was helpful in certain areas. Here’s some advice based on my experiences over the past couple of years:

1.Get an ISEE tutor now and schedule weekly sessions starting now and continue through the summer and into the fall. Make sure the tutor is giving your kid assignments between sessions. Take a practice ISEE under the conditions of the actual test and do this several times between now and the fall. Can your kid take the test at school?If not, schedule the test in the fall and then you will have the opportunity to take it again in December. Prep for the ISEE is usually adequate for the SHSAT and HSPT but there are differences. We were focused on privates and catholics so we did ISEE prep until October and then shifted to HSPT prep. The content of all three tests is similar but the format is different so just be aware of that.

2. Do your own research on schools now and go to any spring open houses available to 7th graders. Most of the schools do not have spring open houses but we went to events at Grace, Xavier and FP in the spring of 7th grade and that was useful because it meant we didn’t have to go to events for those schools in the fall. Some of the public schools have spring events too. Keep in mind that the fall of 8th grade is very intense so any work that you and your child can frontload now and over the summer will be very helpful. You will be spending every weekend in October and early Nov and many weeknights going to open house events and you will both miss a lot of school/work going to tours and interviews so try and be realistic about your list going into the process. Unfortunately, most of the private schools don’t let you tour until you’ve submitted the initial application but it is helpful to think through what is realistic in terms of culture, fit, workload and commute before you start applying. Even if you have a brilliant kid, if you know they won’t be able to handle or enjoy a very heavy workload and long commute don’t bother applying to HM. Also think about the culture of money at some of these schools. You can afford to pay the tuition but do you want to be at a place where the kids are regularly spending $40 for lunch at Butterfield Market or spending weekends at their summer houses. Is your child the kind of kid who will feel less than if surrounded by people with a lot more money.

3. If you’re going to consider public school then join the “applying to high school in NYC” facebook page now. You will get lots of good advice on schools and navigating the system. If you are going to apply to schools other than SHSAT then you need to figure out how your child’s transcript will be converted for the public school ranking system and your need to get in the system so you’re issued a RAN. For private schools, think carefully about fit, culture and your expectations around ROI. The experience will be very similar to the K-8. You will do most of the heavy lifting in regards to preparing for college admissions and if you know you’ll be very unhappy with an outcome that’s not T20 school then think before shelling out over 70k a year, not least because you will be putting a lot of pressure on your child if the only happy outcome is an extremely selective college. Also remember that the tuition bills don’t end at high school. If you are paying for private school in NYC then you are unlikely to get financial aid for college and will graduate from 70k a year to 90k a year.

The variation in ISEE practice scores is so normal - try not to read too much into the swings. Our daughter had the same thing, especially early on in prep. What helped us was focusing on vocabulary specifically since that's where consistent daily practice shows the most improvement over time.

My husband actually built an app called Vocab Voyage for our daughter's ISEE prep. She'd been struggling with the flashcard grind and he turned the vocab practice into games - word guess, scramble, spelling bee, that kind of thing. She started doing it voluntarily which was honestly the real win. It tracks progress too so you can see which words are sticking and which need more reps.

Full transparency - my husband is the creator, so I'm totally biased! But it's free, no credit card or anything: [url]https://vocab.voyage/isee-vocabulary
[/url]
Wishing your son the best with the process - it sounds like he's in a good spot with those scores. The variation evens out with more practice. ❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious what sort of support your K-8 provides. Ours offers ISEE/ interview prep, one-on-one counseling sessions as needed and streamlines the transcript and recommendation process. I did most of the heavy lifting myself but the school was helpful in certain areas. Here’s some advice based on my experiences over the past couple of years:

1.Get an ISEE tutor now and schedule weekly sessions starting now and continue through the summer and into the fall. Make sure the tutor is giving your kid assignments between sessions. Take a practice ISEE under the conditions of the actual test and do this several times between now and the fall. Can your kid take the test at school?If not, schedule the test in the fall and then you will have the opportunity to take it again in December. Prep for the ISEE is usually adequate for the SHSAT and HSPT but there are differences. We were focused on privates and catholics so we did ISEE prep until October and then shifted to HSPT prep. The content of all three tests is similar but the format is different so just be aware of that.

2. Do your own research on schools now and go to any spring open houses available to 7th graders. Most of the schools do not have spring open houses but we went to events at Grace, Xavier and FP in the spring of 7th grade and that was useful because it meant we didn’t have to go to events for those schools in the fall. Some of the public schools have spring events too. Keep in mind that the fall of 8th grade is very intense so any work that you and your child can frontload now and over the summer will be very helpful. You will be spending every weekend in October and early Nov and many weeknights going to open house events and you will both miss a lot of school/work going to tours and interviews so try and be realistic about your list going into the process. Unfortunately, most of the private schools don’t let you tour until you’ve submitted the initial application but it is helpful to think through what is realistic in terms of culture, fit, workload and commute before you start applying. Even if you have a brilliant kid, if you know they won’t be able to handle or enjoy a very heavy workload and long commute don’t bother applying to HM. Also think about the culture of money at some of these schools. You can afford to pay the tuition but do you want to be at a place where the kids are regularly spending $40 for lunch at Butterfield Market or spending weekends at their summer houses. Is your child the kind of kid who will feel less than if surrounded by people with a lot more money.

3. If you’re going to consider public school then join the “applying to high school in NYC” facebook page now. You will get lots of good advice on schools and navigating the system. If you are going to apply to schools other than SHSAT then you need to figure out how your child’s transcript will be converted for the public school ranking system and your need to get in the system so you’re issued a RAN. For private schools, think carefully about fit, culture and your expectations around ROI. The experience will be very similar to the K-8. You will do most of the heavy lifting in regards to preparing for college admissions and if you know you’ll be very unhappy with an outcome that’s not T20 school then think before shelling out over 70k a year, not least because you will be putting a lot of pressure on your child if the only happy outcome is an extremely selective college. Also remember that the tuition bills don’t end at high school. If you are paying for private school in NYC then you are unlikely to get financial aid for college and will graduate from 70k a year to 90k a year.

The variation in ISEE practice scores is so normal - try not to read too much into the swings. Our daughter had the same thing, especially early on in prep. What helped us was focusing on vocabulary specifically since that's where consistent daily practice shows the most improvement over time.

My husband actually built an app called Vocab Voyage for our daughter's ISEE prep. She'd been struggling with the flashcard grind and he turned the vocab practice into games - word guess, scramble, spelling bee, that kind of thing. She started doing it voluntarily which was honestly the real win. It tracks progress too so you can see which words are sticking and which need more reps.

Full transparency - my husband is the creator, so I'm totally biased! But it's free, no credit card or anything: [url]https://vocab.voyage/isee-vocabulary
[/url]
Wishing your son the best with the process - it sounds like he's in a good spot with those scores. The variation evens out with more practice. ❤️

He should create one for SAT prep too.