High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about Trevor or Columbia Grammar?

op - i mean i would have felt more fine about those suggestions than the dwight one. Honestly for a kid whose teachers never sounded the alarm about academics, even when pushed, my expectation for the conversation was more that we'd talk about TT and consider how realistic and land on maybe 1-2 stretch choices in that tier and then a number of T2 choices/ maybe a couple of wild cards. I did not think the first suggestion would be dwight.

You have to ask yourself whether TT schools will be a good overall fit for him. My son went to HM from a progressive K-8, and the adjustment was pretty big. He figured it out quickly, but there’s not much room to stumble. There is support available, but kids need to be proactive in seeking it because they do not offer retests, extra credit, or other second chances on assessments.

Op - I don’t think a HM would be a good fit, but I do think we could be discussing something a click down from there.

I probably did flag myself as a problem bc I said I’d rather move to a good burb and send him to public school than pay for a school that we don’t feel collectively great about. We work super hard to afford tuition and have done so bc we trusted that the school had excellent exmissions - among other things

[Anonymous]

Can you describe what kind of K-8 this is? Are we talking a St B Buckley St D caliber school? Curious what the time and tuition there gets you if its Dwight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about Trevor or Columbia Grammar?

op - i mean i would have felt more fine about those suggestions than the dwight one. Honestly for a kid whose teachers never sounded the alarm about academics, even when pushed, my expectation for the conversation was more that we'd talk about TT and consider how realistic and land on maybe 1-2 stretch choices in that tier and then a number of T2 choices/ maybe a couple of wild cards. I did not think the first suggestion would be dwight.

You have to ask yourself whether TT schools will be a good overall fit for him. My son went to HM from a progressive K-8, and the adjustment was pretty big. He figured it out quickly, but there’s not much room to stumble. There is support available, but kids need to be proactive in seeking it because they do not offer retests, extra credit, or other second chances on assessments.

Op - I don’t think a HM would be a good fit, but I do think we could be discussing something a click down from there.

I probably did flag myself as a problem bc I said I’d rather move to a good burb and send him to public school than pay for a school that we don’t feel collectively great about. We work super hard to afford tuition and have done so bc we trusted that the school had excellent exmissions - among other things

Don’t get too discouraged, and don’t let the exmissions director try to pigieonhole your DS. Tours and open houses are really helpful in the process, and you may be surprised by schools that fly under the radar. Also, if you live on the UWS, don’t rule out Masters. The commute isn’t terrible, and it seems to have a great balance of good academics and nurturing support. I know quite a few kids who were happy there.

[Anonymous]

You are so early in the process, don't worry too much about it. If your K-8 has a good reputation, and solid exmissions, your child's scores and grades will carry them far. Scores and grades and interviews carry a ton of weight, so keep calm and do your leg work. It's a lot, but many schools have Spring tours/Open Houses, so go to them and start building your personal list now, including what ballpark ISEE scores you will need for for each schools. We had almost zero help from our K-8 and had solid results, so just do your own work.

[Anonymous]

Of the more mainstream schools, I found Trevor, Grace and LREI had the most upfront robust Learning Centers with supports for ADHD students. Leman seemed supportive as well. If your child is STEM inclined, Franklin in Jersey City was very impressive. It's affiliated with Dwight, but half the price and this is their first year of their own graduating class and their college exmissions are quite amazing for a new school, plus it is literally half the price. I actually wanted my child to go there but they liked another school more. I've heard good things about Berkeley Carroll and Brooklyn Friends, but we didn't look at Brooklyn schools. Obviously Dwight, York and BWL have a whole separate program, but I have to say they all told us looking at them that they didn't think our child needed the program, since they were so successful at their mainstream school and had the test scores they had. I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't upsell us, but was concerned that once we got there they would change that on us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are so early in the process, don't worry too much about it. If your K-8 has a good reputation, and solid exmissions, your child's scores and grades will carry them far. Scores and grades and interviews carry a ton of weight, so keep calm and do your leg work. It's a lot, but many schools have Spring tours/Open Houses, so go to them and start building your personal list now, including what ballpark ISEE scores you will need for for each schools. We had almost zero help from our K-8 and had solid results, so just do your own work.

Why no help from K -8 school? I thought exmissions to HS and the support given was a big part of the draw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are so early in the process, don't worry too much about it. If your K-8 has a good reputation, and solid exmissions, your child's scores and grades will carry them far. Scores and grades and interviews carry a ton of weight, so keep calm and do your leg work. It's a lot, but many schools have Spring tours/Open Houses, so go to them and start building your personal list now, including what ballpark ISEE scores you will need for for each schools. We had almost zero help from our K-8 and had solid results, so just do your own work.

Why no help from K -8 school? I thought exmissions to HS and the support given was a big part of the draw

Several reasons. One, I'm from here, went to a TT myself, and didn't really feel like my child's school was going to tell me anything I either didn't already know about the school, or their websites and tours weren't going to address. Two, I didn't want to get involved in the "where are people applying game" with fellow families, which can pit students against each other and add to my child's stress. I was able to keep to myself and not have any noise around our choices. And three, I didn't want them to discourage me from applying anywhere. When it came down to final choices, they communicated with our top choice, and reminded me of deadlines and teacher recommendations, but I didn't need anything else. This isn't rocket science, I didn't have unrealistic aspirations based on my child's profile (8s & 9s on ISEE, 98 average grades, but with ADHD and would struggle with homework load at truly TT schools in high school). This isn't the 80s and 90s...information is accessible and so are HS admissions offices. I kept everything super positive and warm with our K-8 team, and I think they actually appreciated how I didn't lean on them and ask them to move mountains. I'm not saying this is the only way to do it, but I am saying that if you don't love what your school is telling you, all hope is not lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of the more mainstream schools, I found Trevor, Grace and LREI had the most upfront robust Learning Centers with supports for ADHD students. Leman seemed supportive as well. If your child is STEM inclined, Franklin in Jersey City was very impressive. It's affiliated with Dwight, but half the price and this is their first year of their own graduating class and their college exmissions are quite amazing for a new school, plus it is literally half the price. I actually wanted my child to go there but they liked another school more. I've heard good things about Berkeley Carroll and Brooklyn Friends, but we didn't look at Brooklyn schools. Obviously Dwight, York and BWL have a whole separate program, but I have to say they all told us looking at them that they didn't think our child needed the program, since they were so successful at their mainstream school and had the test scores they had. I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't upsell us, but was concerned that once we got there they would change that on us.

I know someone whose kid is at the Dwight in Jersey - I think that's Franklin? - who is going to MIT next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the more mainstream schools, I found Trevor, Grace and LREI had the most upfront robust Learning Centers with supports for ADHD students. Leman seemed supportive as well. If your child is STEM inclined, Franklin in Jersey City was very impressive. It's affiliated with Dwight, but half the price and this is their first year of their own graduating class and their college exmissions are quite amazing for a new school, plus it is literally half the price. I actually wanted my child to go there but they liked another school more. I've heard good things about Berkeley Carroll and Brooklyn Friends, but we didn't look at Brooklyn schools. Obviously Dwight, York and BWL have a whole separate program, but I have to say they all told us looking at them that they didn't think our child needed the program, since they were so successful at their mainstream school and had the test scores they had. I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't upsell us, but was concerned that once we got there they would change that on us.

I know someone whose kid is at the Dwight in Jersey - I think that's Franklin? - who is going to MIT next year.

Yes, that's it! I really think it's going to become quite difficult to get into. The Head of School is very dynamic, and the curriculum and faculty seemed amazing. It was my first choice, and it was top three for my child, but they went with another school, much to my disappointment. It's the first stop in Jersey City on the PATH, in a bright new building right on the water. For half the price of NYC private schools! If you actually care about the quality of education for your child, and not the just the name and prestige, I would highly recommend looking at it.

[Anonymous]

I replied earlier about having just gone through this process. My kid got into 9 schools but we still didn't feel we had a home run option. All the schools had a lot of pros and cons and for 70K a year you want to feel really good about your choices. For high school you really need to factor in commute work load, and social environment too. Our high school counselor was fine but I did the leg work. I think where the K-8 schools are helpful is in ISEE prep and making sure all the recommendations and transcripts are in on time. Honestly, the admissions process at most of these schools is so opaque that I find it hard to feel good about it. At these price points I really want to know things like acceptance rates and yield but I know smart kids going to all sorts of schools. One of the brightest and most creative kids in my DCs class is going to CGPS and another is going to Avenues. There are more options for girls than boys but Browning, Fordham Prep and Xavier are also good options. The Catholics are very affordable and offer honors programs and merit aid. I would also recommend looking at the public schools. Places like Bard and Beacon are great choices. There are so many options in the public school system these days.

I'll also say that Dwight's reputation might be improving. I grew up in NY and Dwight's reputation wasn't great when I was growing up but I feel like maybe that's shifting. I know some families with smart kids that looked at Dwight over the last few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll also say that Dwight's reputation might be improving. I grew up in NY and Dwight's reputation wasn't great when I was growing up but I feel like maybe that's shifting. I know some families with smart kids that looked at Dwight over the last few years.

I agree with this. With the IB program, and what seemed like a very robust arts program, I was impressed with the resources and how far it seems to have come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll also say that Dwight's reputation might be improving. I grew up in NY and Dwight's reputation wasn't great when I was growing up but I feel like maybe that's shifting. I know some families with smart kids that looked at Dwight over the last few years.

I agree with this. With the IB program, and what seemed like a very robust arts program, I was impressed with the resources and how far it seems to have come.

op - yes they mentioned the IB thing.

I still feel like - I've given these people over half a million dollars specifically for this child. Coming to me with 'hey what about dwight' and then professing surprise when I push back feels a little gaslighty.

[Anonymous]

Does your child get grades or narrative reports? That should give you the best indication of how they've been doing in school. I would also ask why they think Dwight would be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll also say that Dwight's reputation might be improving. I grew up in NY and Dwight's reputation wasn't great when I was growing up but I feel like maybe that's shifting. I know some families with smart kids that looked at Dwight over the last few years.

I agree with this. With the IB program, and what seemed like a very robust arts program, I was impressed with the resources and how far it seems to have come.

op - yes they mentioned the IB thing.

I still feel like - I've given these people over half a million dollars specifically for this child. Coming to me with 'hey what about dwight' and then professing surprise when I push back feels a little gaslighty.

I'm sure it does. I wasn't trying to convince you Dwight was right for your child, just that it has improved and is a great school.

The only way you will know why they suggested Dwight is if you ask them, and then hopefully they answer you truthfully. Others have offered their advice on how to handle the rest of the admissions cycle and I hope it works out that your child gets to go to the school they--and you--want!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your child get grades or narrative reports? That should give you the best indication of how they've been doing in school. I would also ask why they think Dwight would be a good fit.

This is my question as well. You say never flagged for academics, but you don’t mention grades. How are they doing as of April in 7th grade? If there are straight As and Dwight was the first school mentioned, I’d have a major problem. But if my child (guessing it’s a son) was getting Bs or a mixed bag of grades, that’s a different conversation. Getting into high school (for a boy especially) is very competitive. I have a friend whose son had all grades that all started with the letter A and 8s/9s and were legacy to a TT and their best option was a 2T co-ed. It was brutal.