What do you say?

Anonymous
OP, beyond whatever the decision your son and his partner make I want to point out that I think that you must be an amazing parent.
I have a 19 year old son and it is my deep wish and hope that he feels as safe and comfortable coming to me with the hard conversations of life as the years pass. Time will tell if he will. OP, you know that yours will. Good job.
Anonymous
I know many very happy adoptees.and there are closed adoptions.


I too know many happy adoptees and a few unhappy ones. But it's sort of true that there are no closed adoptions now with DNA. At least that's true for most Americans of European descent. The birth mother need not have taken a DNA test herself. Sometimes it's possible to figure it out if even a second cousin has taken one and there's a paper trail of relationships.

That said, adoption can be a great situation. Sometimes it is; sometimes it isn't. But isn't that also true of biological relationships? A lot of people are estranged from their families. I think open adoption can work too, especially if all parties are willing to abide by the agreements they reach.

It kind of gets me that so many people condemn adoption also favor surrogacy. I don't see why they think a child given up for adoption is going to be miserable while one born of a surrogate--or egg donor or donor insemination, for that matter--is going to live happily ever after.



Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


Stop making shit up. OP's son got a ton of hate (including from you).


I don’t see the issue with a 27yo son or daughter (or whatever age) telling their mother that they might be having a baby soon, but there is a clear pattern of coddling male adult children on this forum.


Sorry you're so bitter about nothing. Bless your heart.


I know that the truth really hurts.
I have an adult 23yo son of my own, I know what I’m talking about it.


So do I and no you don't.

It’s clear. All I did was call out hypocrisy and very blatant double standards. If moms want things to change, than it starts with their sons, otherwise don’t complain about your DH on here or run here for sympathy when your son is having a hard time finding a women to marry.


Cool story. Feel better now?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, beyond whatever the decision your son and his partner make I want to point out that I think that you must be an amazing parent.
I have a 19 year old son and it is my deep wish and hope that he feels as safe and comfortable coming to me with the hard conversations of life as the years pass. Time will tell if he will. OP, you know that yours will. Good job.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
I know many very happy adoptees.and there are closed adoptions.


I too know many happy adoptees and a few unhappy ones. But it's sort of true that there are no closed adoptions now with DNA. At least that's true for most Americans of European descent. The birth mother need not have taken a DNA test herself. Sometimes it's possible to figure it out if even a second cousin has taken one and there's a paper trail of relationships.

That said, adoption can be a great situation. Sometimes it is; sometimes it isn't. But isn't that also true of biological relationships? A lot of people are estranged from their families. I think open adoption can work too, especially if all parties are willing to abide by the agreements they reach.

It kind of gets me that so many people condemn adoption also favor surrogacy. I don't see why they think a child given up for adoption is going to be miserable while one born of a surrogate--or egg donor or donor insemination, for that matter--is going to live happily ever after.




Oh goodies the pro birthers are out.

Bottom line OP answered correctly it is the girls decision her body her choice.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


This would certainly happen in TX! They would also be looking to send her to jail if she went across state lines to terminate the pregnancy. The boy would get off totally without judgment - unless he wanted the girl in jail for not preventing her reproductive system from working properly when he wanted unprotected sex


That is entirely irrelevant to this post. Please start a new (political) rant somewhere else.


Not that poster but I agree with them.

It is not irrelevant to this post. It is a reality for women in red states. Not to mention healthcare for women in many read states is basically shit. Hospitals are few and far between and so are OB's.

Fixed it for you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


Stop making shit up. OP's son got a ton of hate (including from you).


I don’t see the issue with a 27yo son or daughter (or whatever age) telling their mother that they might be having a baby soon, but there is a clear pattern of coddling male adult children on this forum.


Sorry you're so bitter about nothing. Bless your heart.


I know that the truth really hurts.
I have an adult 23yo son of my own, I know what I’m talking about it.


So do I and no you don't.

It’s clear. All I did was call out hypocrisy and very blatant double standards. If moms want things to change, than it starts with their sons, otherwise don’t complain about your DH on here or run here for sympathy when your son is having a hard time finding a women to marry.


Cool story. Feel better now?


Ofc…..better than any enabling & bad mother ever will feel.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When society keeps telling grown men and women that they are naive kids then why would they act as responsible adults? These are people who are five six years post college, not college freshmen. A sensible couple would've discussed it, explore their options and either quietly had it taken care of if they didn't want it or made an announcement of expecting a baby. In current day and age they don't even have to get married unless there is a religious reason. They don't even have to have a wedding music band, just a trip to city court and a dinner with immediate family and a few friends would suffice.

Let’s say instead of a pregnancy, it’s cancer. Are you saying that a 27-year-old with a cancer diagnosis shouldn’t call and talk to his parents?
What if it was a car accident that really shook him up and he just wants to talk. Are you saying a 27-year-old shouldn’t talk to his parents about a car accident?
What if his girlfriend died? Are you saying a 27-year-old shouldn’t talk to his parents about his girlfriend dying?
I guess the only thing we should talk to our parents about after we are 22 is the weather and what we’re eating at Thanksgiving.


And unexpected pregnancy is not cancer. It's a very big OOPs with lifestyle choices factored in.
I've been in a big car accident at that age. Neither me, nor my eventual dh in that car with me considered calling parents.
And the 27 year old isn't announcing the pregnancy.
He is asking for help and guidance about a very big OOPs.


In this day and age it is not an OOPs.

Luckily women do have choices currently in some states and that is a good thing.

OP is an excellent parent her son is very lucky to have a mom with a brain.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


This would certainly happen in TX! They would also be looking to send her to jail if she went across state lines to terminate the pregnancy. The boy would get off totally without judgment - unless he wanted the girl in jail for not preventing her reproductive system from working properly when he wanted unprotected sex


That is entirely irrelevant to this post. Please start a new (political) rant somewhere else.


Not that poster but I agree with them.

It is not irrelevant to this post. It is a reality for women in red states. Not to mention healthcare for women in many read states is basically shit. Hospitals are few and far between and so are OB's.

Fixed it for you.


You fixed nothing. It has nothing to do with what kind of advice OP gives to her son. I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They sound like fools and careless if they both don't know how far along she is. She knows. She's not being truthful.


What a very odd take. Many women have inconsistent periods and its hard to track.


By the time someone misses a second period she is about 6 weeks pregnant.
Pregnancy tests work very very soon and certainly a week after a missed period.

Someone mid twenties not noticing and/or not marking when you GET one seems a bit disingenuous.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


Stop making shit up. OP's son got a ton of hate (including from you).


I don’t see the issue with a 27yo son or daughter (or whatever age) telling their mother that they might be having a baby soon, but there is a clear pattern of coddling male adult children on this forum.


Sorry you're so bitter about nothing. Bless your heart.


I know that the truth really hurts.
I have an adult 23yo son of my own, I know what I’m talking about it.


So do I and no you don't.

It’s clear. All I did was call out hypocrisy and very blatant double standards. If moms want things to change, than it starts with their sons, otherwise don’t complain about your DH on here or run here for sympathy when your son is having a hard time finding a women to marry.


Cool story. Feel better now?


Ofc…..better than any enabling & bad mother ever will feel.


Sure, sure....something tells me your children avoid you like the plague. Such a surprise since you're such a lovely person.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


Stop making shit up. OP's son got a ton of hate (including from you).


I don’t see the issue with a 27yo son or daughter (or whatever age) telling their mother that they might be having a baby soon, but there is a clear pattern of coddling male adult children on this forum.


Sorry you're so bitter about nothing. Bless your heart.


I know that the truth really hurts.
I have an adult 23yo son of my own, I know what I’m talking about it.


So do I and no you don't.

It’s clear. All I did was call out hypocrisy and very blatant double standards. If moms want things to change, than it starts with their sons, otherwise don’t complain about your DH on here or run here for sympathy when your son is having a hard time finding a women to marry.


Cool story. Feel better now?


Ofc…..better than any enabling & bad mother ever will feel.


Sure, sure....something tells me your children avoid you like the plague. Such a surprise since you're such a lovely person.


You wish. My five lovely and wonderful babies are 25, 23, 21, 18, & 16, and that’s nowhere near the case. They can’t stop blowing up my phone all day and night, and they even take time off work just to spend time with me. Guess not everyone’s as lucky to have such amazing kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


Stop making shit up. OP's son got a ton of hate (including from you).


I don’t see the issue with a 27yo son or daughter (or whatever age) telling their mother that they might be having a baby soon, but there is a clear pattern of coddling male adult children on this forum.


Sorry you're so bitter about nothing. Bless your heart.


I know that the truth really hurts.
I have an adult 23yo son of my own, I know what I’m talking about it.


So do I and no you don't.

It’s clear. All I did was call out hypocrisy and very blatant double standards. If moms want things to change, than it starts with their sons, otherwise don’t complain about your DH on here or run here for sympathy when your son is having a hard time finding a women to marry.


Cool story. Feel better now?


Ofc…..better than any enabling & bad mother ever will feel.


Sure, sure....something tells me your children avoid you like the plague. Such a surprise since you're such a lovely person.


You wish. My five lovely and wonderful babies are 25, 23, 21, 18, & 16, and that’s nowhere near the case. They can’t stop blowing up my phone all day and night, and they even take time off work just to spend time with me. Guess not everyone’s as lucky to have such amazing kids.


Oh the irony of your bitc6ing about coddling and then calling your adult children “babies.” The jokes write themselves.😂😂😂😂😂
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, now 27+ are treated as teenagers.


Only on DCUM, and only 27 yo men, not women.


Obviously! Because it’s only the woman’s fault to get pregnant- how dare she


PP. The hypocrisy on this site is crazy. Moms here are raising the man children & incels they complain about. And they say they support women, yeah no.


A son calling his mother to let her know he might be having a child is "raising an incel?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????


That’s okay, but if it the GFs mom posted this, the replies here would be very different.


I agree with that. No one would be bashing the daughter for calling her mother.


Nope they’d be blaming her, calling her slurs, and telling her to figure it out, not coddling & excusing. No one here has expressed an ounce of sympathy for the girlfriend.


This would certainly happen in TX! They would also be looking to send her to jail if she went across state lines to terminate the pregnancy. The boy would get off totally without judgment - unless he wanted the girl in jail for not preventing her reproductive system from working properly when he wanted unprotected sex


That is entirely irrelevant to this post. Please start a new (political) rant somewhere else.


Not that poster but I agree with them.

It is not irrelevant to this post. It is a reality for women in red states. Not to mention healthcare for women in many read states is basically shit. Hospitals are few and far between and so are OB's.

Fixed it for you.


You fixed nothing. It has nothing to do with what kind of advice OP gives to her son. I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand.


Like I said MAGA stupidity
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your mid 20s son tells you his girlfriend of a year is pregnant and wants your advice.

They don’t know how far along she is and they have a joint appointment at planned parenthood in the next 48 hours.

What would you actually say?


"Congratulations. When is the wedding?"

What else would you say?


Wedding? You know nothing about the girlfriend or their relationship.

It is not 1950.
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