Belle Burden’s “Strangers”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

Nothing says father of the year like a man buying a home where his kids are not welcome.

My kids dad did this - cheated, I kicked him out, he moved into a 1 br, later got married and bought a $750,000 2 br (1 br and office). I offered him 50/50, which he never took. In over a decade the kids have slept on a pull-out sofa and blow up mattress when they visit him.

The impact on your own kids of a neglectful dad is truly painful to watch, and no amount of mother love or other male relatives or role models seem to fill it. My kids are in college now and neither are close to him.

This. We are far earlier in the process but I see my kids bouncing from one male role model to the other with their eyes like sad little cartoon characters looking for someone to validate their existence in a way that only a father can but theirs would not. So much therapy.

Very sad! How old are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People commenting don’t understand this world and lifestyle.

The wife socialized and he funded it. They didn’t spend much time together which is evident by the full time girlfriend she didn’t even know about! She was so occupied despite not having a real job and having FT nannies, that she didn’t know her husband had a GF. Think about that.

They were spending practically no time together and they didn’t know each other. Then the pandemic happened and he freaked out being stuck in a home with his vapid shallow wife.

I blame both of them.

Many people carry on years-long affairs without their partners being the wiser, so I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. Her only mistake seems to have been trusting him. Interesting that you defend a man who dumped his minor kids without a second thought.

Agree! I discovered my STBXs almost 1.5 year affair with a but I suspected him being off even though I couldnt lay my finger on it. The wise DCUMs had warned me about a year ago that his behavior was typical of an affair and I still had refused to believe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

This is so so classic. My husband used much of our past and things I had introduced him to, with his AP. It's eerie how often a man will take his girlfriend to the special romantic spot he always went with his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People commenting don’t understand this world and lifestyle.

The wife socialized and he funded it. They didn’t spend much time together which is evident by the full time girlfriend she didn’t even know about! She was so occupied despite not having a real job and having FT nannies, that she didn’t know her husband had a GF. Think about that.

They were spending practically no time together and they didn’t know each other. Then the pandemic happened and he freaked out being stuck in a home with his vapid shallow wife.

I blame both of them.

Many people carry on years-long affairs without their partners being the wiser, so I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. Her only mistake seems to have been trusting him. Interesting that you defend a man who dumped his minor kids without a second thought.

Agree! I discovered my STBXs almost 1.5 year affair with a but I suspected him being off even though I couldnt lay my finger on it. The wise DCUMs had warned me about a year ago that his behavior was typical of an affair and I still had refused to believe

Ugh I'm so sorry. The wise DCUMs are the reason I knew instantly my husband was having an affair. I thought, it'll never happen to ME reading all those threads but the second he started acting in the way that sets alarm bells off on DCUM I was like, welp, here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of these posts strike me as deeply sad. Infidelity constitutes a form of trauma, and trauma is processed physiologically and psychologically in largely the same way regardless of socioeconomic status. The body experiences shock, grief, loss, and disbelief independent of financial security. Wealth does not buffer the nervous system from those responses. The fact that some cannot relate is evident—and, frankly, that distance is something I envy.

^^This.

There are a lot of logistics that can be made easier with single parenting and going through divorce based on money. But the emotional fallout is not protected. It's like saying someone who loses a parent and gets a huge inheritance doesn't have real grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People commenting don’t understand this world and lifestyle.

The wife socialized and he funded it. They didn’t spend much time together which is evident by the full time girlfriend she didn’t even know about! She was so occupied despite not having a real job and having FT nannies, that she didn’t know her husband had a GF. Think about that.

They were spending practically no time together and they didn’t know each other. Then the pandemic happened and he freaked out being stuck in a home with his vapid shallow wife.

I blame both of them.

Many people carry on years-long affairs without their partners being the wiser, so I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. Her only mistake seems to have been trusting him. Interesting that you defend a man who dumped his minor kids without a second thought.

Agree! I discovered my STBXs almost 1.5 year affair with a but I suspected him being off even though I couldnt lay my finger on it. The wise DCUMs had warned me about a year ago that his behavior was typical of an affair and I still had refused to believe

Ugh I'm so sorry. The wise DCUMs are the reason I knew instantly my husband was having an affair. I thought, it'll never happen to ME reading all those threads but the second he started acting in the way that sets alarm bells off on DCUM I was like, welp, here we are.

Not to go off topic here, but what were the main warning signs? I have a friend whose husband (a surgeon) told her one day he wasn't coming home from work and that he was coming back only to get his things. After he got his things, he completely blocker her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People commenting don’t understand this world and lifestyle.

The wife socialized and he funded it. They didn’t spend much time together which is evident by the full time girlfriend she didn’t even know about! She was so occupied despite not having a real job and having FT nannies, that she didn’t know her husband had a GF. Think about that.

They were spending practically no time together and they didn’t know each other. Then the pandemic happened and he freaked out being stuck in a home with his vapid shallow wife.

I blame both of them.

Many people carry on years-long affairs without their partners being the wiser, so I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. Her only mistake seems to have been trusting him. Interesting that you defend a man who dumped his minor kids without a second thought.

Agree! I discovered my STBXs almost 1.5 year affair with a but I suspected him being off even though I couldnt lay my finger on it. The wise DCUMs had warned me about a year ago that his behavior was typical of an affair and I still had refused to believe

Ugh I'm so sorry. The wise DCUMs are the reason I knew instantly my husband was having an affair. I thought, it'll never happen to ME reading all those threads but the second he started acting in the way that sets alarm bells off on DCUM I was like, welp, here we are.

Not to go off topic here, but what were the main warning signs? I have a friend whose husband (a surgeon) told her one day he wasn't coming home from work and that he was coming back only to get his things. After he got his things, he completely blocker her.

Yikes! This is a BIG red flag!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

Another interesting COVID-era infidelity memoir is How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told by Harrison Scott Key. It’s one of the funniest and most heartbreaking books I’ve read in a while, but also hopeful. If I remember correctly, it’s told/read (I recommend the audiobook) by both husband and wife, from their perspectives—though I may be conflating it with another book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

I don’t know why people keep harping about this. She herself acknowledges her immense privilege. Doesn’t mean that her mental anguish is any less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

This is so so classic. My husband used much of our past and things I had introduced him to, with his AP. It's eerie how often a man will take his girlfriend to the special romantic spot he always went with his wife.

Low-effort men are like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

This is so so classic. My husband used much of our past and things I had introduced him to, with his AP. It's eerie how often a man will take his girlfriend to the special romantic spot he always went with his wife.

I think it comes down to these men not being very imaginative and historically relying on their wives to do all the planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

I don’t know why people keep harping about this. She herself acknowledges her immense privilege. Doesn’t mean that her mental anguish is any less.

Disagree though. She has time to work on herself. She has resources to process with the top experts in the country. She's been able to write it all down. And she wasn't systematically and intentionally broken by this man. Used yes. Broken on purpose, just because he's so messed up? No. So yeah - her mental anguish IS less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

I don’t know why people keep harping about this. She herself acknowledges her immense privilege. Doesn’t mean that her mental anguish is any less.

Disagree though. She has time to work on herself. She has resources to process with the top experts in the country. She's been able to write it all down. And she wasn't systematically and intentionally broken by this man. Used yes. Broken on purpose, just because he's so messed up? No. So yeah - her mental anguish IS less.

I hope you, in your privilege, never have to find yourself with a comparison. Karma is a b.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

Of course. But my ex was borderline abusive to me in the end, took a lot of my money, and is just generally a jerk. But he is there for our kid (no matter how imperfectly) and never had an affair. I think I would be really devastated if in addition to taking my money and having an affair, he also decided to quasi-abandon our kid.