Tell us your deepest secret

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH never leaves the house except to exercise. When he does, I snoop on his iPad (he thinks I don't know the password). I also sometimes go out to grab lunch without offering to get him any (I work, he doesn't, I have resentment). I also can only orgasm from self help.

I snoop around looking to see if my wife has any vibrators, erotica, or similar items. Sex happens once a month and it’s out of obligation. Seeking to confirm that she doesn’t masturbate as a replacement. She claims to have a low drives

What would you do if you found out she did masturbate? Pout, stomp your feet, hold your breath until she sexes you?

PS—she *is* masturbating.

Because all women masturbate?

Most humans yes

I do, almost every day. And I don’t use toys or erotica. PP should maybe try using toys and erotica with his wife.

She tells me that toys are out of her comfort zone. I haven’t asked about erotica, but I would be surprised if she is interested. It’s possible that she is too embarrassed to share, which is why I have looked around to confirm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a child, I was bought a gerbil as a birthday present. I found it early and tried to hold it but it jumped out of my hands and the dog killed it. I stuffed it back in the cage, blood trickling out of its mouth, and never told my parents. They thought it was defective and returned it to the pet store.

A childhood bff had a gerbil that escaped, and she was kneeling down to grab it and accidentally kneeled on it, killing it. So sad!

Thank you for understanding!

If you feel any guilt or shame about what you did and hiding it from your parents, please forgive yourself and let it go if you can.

You were a child and what you did is, in my opinion, a completely normal response to a traumatic situation.

I was blamed by my mother for not feeding or giving water to my hamster and killing it. I was 6 or 7 at the time and I simply forgot. I felt tremendous guilt.

She should have done a better job supervising my care for my pet.

My secret is that I love my mother (she has many great qualities), but also hate and resent her immensely for being an emotionally immature parent.

This sounds demonic--you hate your mother for something you neglected to do?

This "emotional immature parent" book has ruined a lot of minds.

You and her mother are both idiots if you think blaming a 7 year old for the death of an animal is acceptable. It is abusive to blame a 7 year old for killing an animal. As PP noted, her parents should have supervised.

Hopefully you are a better parent to your own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a child, I was bought a gerbil as a birthday present. I found it early and tried to hold it but it jumped out of my hands and the dog killed it. I stuffed it back in the cage, blood trickling out of its mouth, and never told my parents. They thought it was defective and returned it to the pet store.

A childhood bff had a gerbil that escaped, and she was kneeling down to grab it and accidentally kneeled on it, killing it. So sad!

Thank you for understanding!

If you feel any guilt or shame about what you did and hiding it from your parents, please forgive yourself and let it go if you can.

You were a child and what you did is, in my opinion, a completely normal response to a traumatic situation.

I was blamed by my mother for not feeding or giving water to my hamster and killing it. I was 6 or 7 at the time and I simply forgot. I felt tremendous guilt.

She should have done a better job supervising my care for my pet.

My secret is that I love my mother (she has many great qualities), but also hate and resent her immensely for being an emotionally immature parent.

This is called splitting.

Maybe not?

I think it’s common to have mixed or complicated feelings, especially towards family members — especially towards parents.

Different emotions can coexist.

That is what abusive people say, that you can have consistent hate and consistent love toward someone, and the recipient needs to accept that. No, that is torturous.

NP. It’s splitting on the part of the PP if they do that with many people in their life.

If it’s complex feelings for a difficult family member it’s not abuse. So relax and back off until you know more.

No. You can't act hateful to someone them tell them you love them in the same breath without casuing harm. Doing this is in effect saying to the person that they deserve the hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a child, I was bought a gerbil as a birthday present. I found it early and tried to hold it but it jumped out of my hands and the dog killed it. I stuffed it back in the cage, blood trickling out of its mouth, and never told my parents. They thought it was defective and returned it to the pet store.

A childhood bff had a gerbil that escaped, and she was kneeling down to grab it and accidentally kneeled on it, killing it. So sad!

Thank you for understanding!

If you feel any guilt or shame about what you did and hiding it from your parents, please forgive yourself and let it go if you can.

You were a child and what you did is, in my opinion, a completely normal response to a traumatic situation.

I was blamed by my mother for not feeding or giving water to my hamster and killing it. I was 6 or 7 at the time and I simply forgot. I felt tremendous guilt.

She should have done a better job supervising my care for my pet.

My secret is that I love my mother (she has many great qualities), but also hate and resent her immensely for being an emotionally immature parent.

This sounds demonic--you hate your mother for something you neglected to do?

This "emotional immature parent" book has ruined a lot of minds.

You and her mother are both idiots if you think blaming a 7 year old for the death of an animal is acceptable. It is abusive to blame a 7 year old for killing an animal. As PP noted, her parents should have supervised.

Hopefully you are a better parent to your own kids.

Oh I see what is happening---everything bad that the poster has been involved in, in her life, is always someone else's fault. And ultimately every bad thing is her mom's fault for not preparing her how to handle life. We have heard this all before.

[Anonymous]

This thread has gone off the tracks..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a child, I was bought a gerbil as a birthday present. I found it early and tried to hold it but it jumped out of my hands and the dog killed it. I stuffed it back in the cage, blood trickling out of its mouth, and never told my parents. They thought it was defective and returned it to the pet store.

A childhood bff had a gerbil that escaped, and she was kneeling down to grab it and accidentally kneeled on it, killing it. So sad!

Thank you for understanding!

If you feel any guilt or shame about what you did and hiding it from your parents, please forgive yourself and let it go if you can.

You were a child and what you did is, in my opinion, a completely normal response to a traumatic situation.

I was blamed by my mother for not feeding or giving water to my hamster and killing it. I was 6 or 7 at the time and I simply forgot. I felt tremendous guilt.

She should have done a better job supervising my care for my pet.

My secret is that I love my mother (she has many great qualities), but also hate and resent her immensely for being an emotionally immature parent.

This is called splitting.

Maybe not?

I think it’s common to have mixed or complicated feelings, especially towards family members — especially towards parents.

Different emotions can coexist.

That is what abusive people say, that you can have consistent hate and consistent love toward someone, and the recipient needs to accept that. No, that is torturous.

NP. It’s splitting on the part of the PP if they do that with many people in their life.

If it’s complex feelings for a difficult family member it’s not abuse. So relax and back off until you know more.

No. You can't act hateful to someone them tell them you love them in the same breath without casuing harm. Doing this is in effect saying to the person that they deserve the hate.

NP. People have very complicated feelings towards crummy parents. Nobody is telling or acting both hateful and loving to their parent. People are talking to you about deepest secrets. Perhaps you should focus on being a less crummy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a child, I was bought a gerbil as a birthday present. I found it early and tried to hold it but it jumped out of my hands and the dog killed it. I stuffed it back in the cage, blood trickling out of its mouth, and never told my parents. They thought it was defective and returned it to the pet store.

A childhood bff had a gerbil that escaped, and she was kneeling down to grab it and accidentally kneeled on it, killing it. So sad!

Thank you for understanding!

If you feel any guilt or shame about what you did and hiding it from your parents, please forgive yourself and let it go if you can.

You were a child and what you did is, in my opinion, a completely normal response to a traumatic situation.

I was blamed by my mother for not feeding or giving water to my hamster and killing it. I was 6 or 7 at the time and I simply forgot. I felt tremendous guilt.

She should have done a better job supervising my care for my pet.

My secret is that I love my mother (she has many great qualities), but also hate and resent her immensely for being an emotionally immature parent.

This sounds demonic--you hate your mother for something you neglected to do?

This "emotional immature parent" book has ruined a lot of minds.

You and her mother are both idiots if you think blaming a 7 year old for the death of an animal is acceptable. It is abusive to blame a 7 year old for killing an animal. As PP noted, her parents should have supervised.

Hopefully you are a better parent to your own kids.

Oh I see what is happening---everything bad that the poster has been involved in, in her life, is always someone else's fault. And ultimately every bad thing is her mom's fault for not preparing her how to handle life. We have heard this all before.

DP. Except that’s not what any said. Enjoy your make believe fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A deep secret? Throughout my undergraduate years at a Big 10 school I struck up numerous sexual relationships with professors and higher level faculty. I’m a guy and these were all older women - quite a number of them were married.

Go Blue!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a married mom of teens and I'm stil doing sex work. Been married for over 20 years.

Hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't had one of these threads in a long time

I feel envious of people who inherit good looks, intelligence, wealth, power, athletic prowess etc and have a leg up in life.

+1

I am envious of people who go to Harvard or Princeton, but not the person who won the lottery and got in by chance, but rather those from rich families, prep school, house in Martha's Vineyard, play squash or lacrosse. Their lives are completely set up for success that I could never have. But as my mom used to say," life is unfair, some people are born on Park Avenue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH never leaves the house except to exercise. When he does, I snoop on his iPad (he thinks I don't know the password). I also sometimes go out to grab lunch without offering to get him any (I work, he doesn't, I have resentment). I also can only orgasm from self help.

I snoop around looking to see if my wife has any vibrators, erotica, or similar items. Sex happens once a month and it’s out of obligation. Seeking to confirm that she doesn’t masturbate as a replacement. She claims to have a low drives

What would you do if you found out she did masturbate? Pout, stomp your feet, hold your breath until she sexes you?

PS—she *is* masturbating.

Because all women masturbate?

Most humans yes

I do, almost every day. And I don’t use toys or erotica. PP should maybe try using toys and erotica with his wife.

She tells me that toys are out of her comfort zone. I haven’t asked about erotica, but I would be surprised if she is interested. It’s possible that she is too embarrassed to share, which is why I have looked around to confirm.

Oh lord. She does sound repressed.

[Anonymous]

Not really my deepest secret. But one I have no reason to tell anyone, even my DH.

I alphabetize things often. If there is time and headspace, I make it happen.

Even in normal conversation. If I am about to tell my kids, remember to pack your shoes, water and snack. And if I have time, I would tell them, “shoes, snack, and water.”

If I’m at work (I’m a teacher), and I need 3 kids to take a turn on something. I often have the headspace to say, “At table 3, Julian, Nora, and Petra,” please take your turn.

Note, it doesn’t bother me if I don’t do this. It’s not a compulsion that feels bad. It’s just, if I can make it happen, I will.

One more: even if I tell my family or kids, “next time you’re feeling bored, remember you can ~go outside, ~ride your bike, or ~take a walk.” It’s easy for me to do in all sorts of conversation. Happens all the time. If I tell my family “I was ~easygoing and ~lenient about the tv today.” I could have said it the other way, but I specifically said it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really my deepest secret. But one I have no reason to tell anyone, even my DH.

I alphabetize things often. If there is time and headspace, I make it happen.

Even in normal conversation. If I am about to tell my kids, remember to pack your shoes, water and snack. And if I have time, I would tell them, “shoes, snack, and water.”

If I’m at work (I’m a teacher), and I need 3 kids to take a turn on something. I often have the headspace to say, “At table 3, Julian, Nora, and Petra,” please take your turn.

Note, it doesn’t bother me if I don’t do this. It’s not a compulsion that feels bad. It’s just, if I can make it happen, I will.

One more: even if I tell my family or kids, “next time you’re feeling bored, remember you can ~go outside, ~ride your bike, or ~take a walk.” It’s easy for me to do in all sorts of conversation. Happens all the time. If I tell my family “I was ~easygoing and ~lenient about the tv today.” I could have said it the other way, but I specifically said it that way.

I’ve only told one person this- I could things. For example, 8 light bulbs, 32 window panes. I don’t know if it’s a form of OCD or ADHD and a way to occupy my racing mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A deep secret? Throughout my undergraduate years at a Big 10 school I struck up numerous sexual relationships with professors and higher level faculty. I’m a guy and these were all older women - quite a number of them were married.

Probably not you, I wasn’t at a big 10.

One day I saw some secret flirtation between a student and female professor.

It was cute, remarkable, right in the Public square but they hid it well. I only noticed because..

I had her for two classes. She was older but had a young energy. They were very small senior/grad level courses. So you know those professors well. I’m fairly sure she was single anyway.

I didn’t have her for a prof that semester but one day I spotted her on campus. I thought “oh cool, wonder how she’s doing—“ I see her definitely looking at someone. They’re both smiling flirtatiously but look away from each other. They’re both meander towards a bench. One sits down and waits. The other waits a minute, looks around absently. Then sits down. They basically do the “cia-spy-we’re-not-sitting-together-talk-thing.”

He was probably 20.

It’s not a huge deal but that they were hiding it, and how 200 other people around would have never noticed. But I noticed bc I knew her. I always wonder!! Were they on track for a hidden relationship? Was it meaningful or just sex? Could it work out? I want to feature it as a story in the alumni magazine somehow, but no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH never leaves the house except to exercise. When he does, I snoop on his iPad (he thinks I don't know the password). I also sometimes go out to grab lunch without offering to get him any (I work, he doesn't, I have resentment). I also can only orgasm from self help.

I snoop around looking to see if my wife has any vibrators, erotica, or similar items. Sex happens once a month and it’s out of obligation. Seeking to confirm that she doesn’t masturbate as a replacement. She claims to have a low drives

What would you do if you found out she did masturbate? Pout, stomp your feet, hold your breath until she sexes you?

PS—she *is* masturbating.

Because all women masturbate?

Most humans yes

I do, almost every day. And I don’t use toys or erotica. PP should maybe try using toys and erotica with his wife.

She tells me that toys are out of her comfort zone. I haven’t asked about erotica, but I would be surprised if she is interested. It’s possible that she is too embarrassed to share, which is why I have looked around to confirm.

It could be all in the imagination. Which leaves no trace.

Can you go on a week-long vacation without kids? Somewhere calming and fun? It takes a few days to recover from everyday life.